Monsters at the Museum

As Museums went, this particular one was nothing out of the ordinary. Doomguy stared up at the decorative columns and Greek inspired arch way intently, but failed to detect anything demon or maykr related in the designs. After so many hellscapes and laboratories it was a force of habit by this point, and he had to admit he was almost sad not to see any resemblance to them.

"At least you can fit through this door." VEGA quipped, sensing a hint of longing from the Slayer, "Now, I've ran a brief scan of the building and have detected further reality warping. It is much bigger on the inside. Perhaps there may be some demons to exterminate afterall."

Doomguy's homesickness vanished for a moment and he ran immediately through the doors to find...a very bewildered owl. The marine hadn't even had time to properly reach for his weapon, and he was already motioning to put it away.

"A-Aha! You must be the new visitor the others have mentioned! Mr Doom was it?" The Slayer's eyes bored down at the bird through his helmet. "N-nice to meet...you..."

"The pleasure is ours." VEGA's voice came through the comms link and the owl almost jumped out of his feathers. "I am VEGA and this is Mr Doom. We are new here, and were informed by Flora that this was the place to identify fossils."

"Oh, you have a fossil?" Blathers said, perking up. "Well yes, I am able to assess those here. I am an experienced curator now with a doctorate from the Faraway Museum, but even before that I was top of my O-wl Level classes, so anything you need identifying just let me know!"

Doomguy wasn't sure whether or not this owl was screwing with him or being serious. Either way he wasn't impressed. Reaching into his armour, he produced the starred item and handed it over to the curator. "It was discovered not too far from here. I am unsure of the excavation processes in this land, but I have stored an exact location should you wish to set up a dig site later on. Furthermore, I took the liberty of analysing the soil as best I could for acidity and composition should that information be of relevance later on."

"O-Oh, I see..." Blathers said, a small question mark appearing over his head. "Well I am not so sure about any of that, but I am happy to identify the fossil. Now let's see..." The owl stared intently at the artefact and spontaneously it turned into a dinosaur skull. "Aha! It seems you've discovered an Apto skull! This is from a creature known as an Apatosaurus, who long ago..."

"Was part of the Brontosaurus excelsus, which roamed the planets 151-152 million years ago and fed mostly on foilage." The AI finished for him, keeping it short and sweet for the sake of his trigger-happy user.

The owl was shocked. "You know of it?!"

"I have downloaded a rudimentary history of Earth and its creatures for reference on our excursions." VEGA explained happily. "While it is only a fraction of my complete data archive back on the Fortress, it should suffice for basic identification and analysis."

Blathers jaw hit the floor. "A...fraction...? Oh my I...you must be well studied yourself! I am surprised you weren't able to identify the fossil on the spot!"

The AI's circuits hummed warmly at the praise. "Had I your apparent matter manipulation powers, I would have been able to. Tell me Blathers; how were you able to warp the artefact in such a way as that? Are you able to do so at will and choose the form that it becomes, or is there a set pattern that these fossils can only morph into?"

"Matter manipulation? Hoo no, I am just a simple Museum curator." The owl blushed, sweat dropping down his head. "My doctorate has granted me plenty of experience at discerning these fossils as well as identifying and caring for the insects and fish people catch. Oh, and paintings, though there are none to show as of yet."

"I see..." VEGA said, switching to the internal microphone. "Either this creature is woefully unaware of his own powers, or he is hiding his true abilities for some reason. I am inclined to believe the former given his posturing and the nature of the other villagers."

The Slayer grunted impatiently. "Yes, sorry we shall take the fossil and leave. Apologies; it is just curious to see such a creature in such a bizarre setting. Though perhaps if we were to obtain one of these doctorates, we could..." Doomguy grunted again, even more disapprovingly. "Indeed, apologies."

Blathers waited patiently during this silent exchange, then returned the discovered fossil to its finders' hands. "An excellent specimen I must say. We don't have such a fossil in the museum at this time; have you thought of donating it?"

Doomguy's eyebrow quirked upwards. "Donating it? For how much?"

"W-well for free..." Blathers started, but at the word 'free' the death machine began to turn and walk away. "Oh...I take it you have nothing else for me. I hope you come again and if you find any more, donations are always accepted!"

The marine chuckled slightly. Free was a concept he was used to receiving, similar to the 'gifts' the demons he massacred gave him. The only free he was willing to give out was a free trip to the fiery gates of hell.

As he reached the door however, he was met by an unexpectedly powerful enemy. An enemy he had not faced in a very long time.

His conscience. "Oh, hi again Mr Doom! How are you getting on?"

A bunny. Well, a rabbit to be precise, but given how small she was Mira may as well have been a bunny. "Hello...Mira, we are fine, thank you, and currently on our way to sell this fossil, so if you don't mind could you..."

"Ohhh a fossil?!" She exclaimed, walking straight up to the demon scourge and looking at the skull clipped loosely to his armour. "And it looks new too! I know these aren't very futuristic, but they're still cool to me! Are you going to donate it?"

"...DAISY?" Doomguy grumbled quietly in a disbelieving yet heavy metal tone.

How many years had it been? How many days of tortured existence without the one good, pure thing in his life? The rabbit before him bore almost no resemblance to his original long-time companion who had been cruelly taken away from him by the demon hordes, but the shared species was enough to bring back memories of a simpler time. He hadn't had the chance to properly take stock of her at the house, but now he couldn't see anything but his beloved friend before him.

"Daisy 2 is back on the ship being cared for by Samuel Hayden." VEGA quietly clarified, giving his user a moment to collect his thoughts. "Though this creature is also a rabbit it seems. Does she look like your original pet?"

She did not, yet she reminded him completely of her.

"...Mr Doom?" Mira asked, snapping the giant man out of his daze. "Are you going to donate it to the museum?"

"We are headed to Tom Nook's store to sell it." VEGA clarified, though Doomguy made no attempt to move towards that goal.

The rabbit's face fell, almost shattering what was left of the marine's bloodthirsty heart. "Oh...that's a shame. It would have been nice to put on display for the villagers to see. Maybe next time then, cottontail?"

Before he knew what he was doing, the dinosaur skull was taken from his armour and thrust into the curator's hands, almost pushing the poor owl through the staircase behind him in the process. Blather's shot out a shocked expression, followed by one of joy. "Y-You're reconsidering donating then?!" Doomguy nodded determinedly. "Oh...OH HOO! Thank you very much for your donation!"

"Oh excellent!" Mira chimed in, a smile flashing on her face. "I'm sure it will look amazing once Blathers puts the display up! Thank you so much Mr Doom!"

Doomguy's heart was officially beginning to melt; something that he could not allow to happen while there were demons still to be killed. After a brief nod to both of them, he quickly exited the building and began walking forwards with no set destination in mind. Their brief, confused goodbyes called after him, yet he paid little heed to them as he powered across the tiny island away from them.

This puzzled VEGA. The AI had watched him face down countless hordes of demons, maykrs and even the Icon of Sin without flinching or running, yet this small creature had sent the prophesised Slayer running for the hills. Or in this case, the sea to be more precise. "I suppose we shall have to find another source of income then. Perhaps fishing is more valuable than...mind your footing."

The Slayer stopped walking just in time to prevent himself from trampling over the scowling cat in front of him. "Oh, its you again. Mr Doom right?"

The muscled monstrosity tilted his head down to inspect the small creature before him. "It is Mr Doom and VEGA indeed. Hello Tom, how are you?"

Tom shot the marine a wry smile. "I'm good thanks, just out and about digging for fossils. It's been a hobby of mine for some years now and I've gotten pretty good at it, plus its good for me to take a walk after my guitar practising. Flora told me you found one a bit earlier by the trees up there?"

Doomguy shook his head slightly to snap out of his rabbit fuelled daze and inspected the feline before him. It couldn't have been more than half an hour since he had found that fossil, yet word had spread of its discovery. Even taking the tiny size of the island into account, it was impressive how quickly information travelled. "Yes, we found an Apto skull, which we promptly donated to the Museum."

Tom blinked surprised. "A rare find! I haven't found one of those myself, but I hear they're fairly valuable. You must be a nice enough guy to donate something so precious."

You could almost hear the grinding of the marine's teeth through his praetor armour. Luckily, VEGA was there to explain for him. "Blathers told us that the Museum hadn't received that specimen before, and we...thought it best to donate it for the rest of the villagers. Have you donated any before?"

"Donated?" Tom blinked, surprised at the question. "Well no...the Villager always used to donate things in the past and we'd all go look at them. Everything I find I usually just keep."

"I see..." The AI hummed, processing the information. "And are the other villagers of the same mindset?" The cat nodded. "But how do you expect the Museum's exhibits to grow without making donations?"

A swift breeze swept past the two, and VEGA felt Tom's attitude turning a little sour. "Well it's not MY job to entertain everyone else, is it?! I'm not the Villager or K.K. Slider just yet after all. Digging fossils is MY hobby and...and I like to keep my favourites to myself. Why should I have to share with everyone else?"

Even Doomguy could see the logic was flawed, but VEGA also saw how to present the response in a beneficial way for all of them. "Well to show your skills of course. By displaying your hobby, the whole settlement could see how talented you are and you would get the benefit of a proper display for your fossils, let alone proper care from the curator."

The cat shot them a shocked react. "Oh...I never thought of it that way. Hmm...I suppose that would be a good way to showcase my amazing skills. After all, I started digging when I was just a little kitten of..."

"And a way for the Museum to be filled up of donations without us." The AI told its user quietly on the internal comms, "They are entertained by the exhibits and you don't have that bunny on your conscience when we go to sell other fossils."

Doomguy grunted, and shot the top of his HUD a sceptical look. The two had worked together for quite some time now, and the AI had learned to interpret the speechless glances almost as a language into itself. "...Yes, I would like to go to explore the Museum at some point. It would be informative of this island's culture and..." The look intensified. "...Yes, I would like to talk to the curator again. He seemed most knowledgeable for an owl."

"...which is how I got so good at it!" Tom concluded with a proud look, completely oblivious to the fact that the pair hadn't been listening. "Well Mr Doom and VEGA, I shall take your advice and take some of my fossils over later today! Though I think I'll keep my favourites in my house just for me, Meowza!."

VEGA luckily was programmed for dual conversational functions. "I am sure Blathers and the others will appreciate that greatly."

The cat puffed out his chest proudly. "Well then, I best get going. Oh, but before I go; I'm not sure you've heard yet being new and all but there's an art trader in town today if that kind of thing interests you. I passed him by the town hall earlier, but his prices were ridiculously high!"

Considering the Slayer had neither the appreciation for fine arts or the money to pay for them, this was of little concern to him. "Thank you for the heads up; we may check it out later." VEGA politely informed him, knowing full well they would be keeping to the opposite side of the island.

"Well make sure you do while you can," Tom smiled at them, "I hear his boat is only docked here for a short time."

"Boat?!" VEGA asked.

And just like that, the next checkpoint was added to Doomguy's HUD.