Redd-tro Art

"Going by the law of averages, it must be this creature." VEGA stated, quickly analysing the being on the horizon as the marine took several monstrously large steps towards it. "It is in the location that Tom stated, and it is not a creature we have seen before."

Indeed, Tom's instructions had come in most useful. After a brief goodbye, which in reality consisted of them walking away as the cat called happily after them, it had taken no time at all to power back to the town's nexus. It was another unknown variable, but the Slayer thrived on the unknown. To him new characters were nothing more than stepping stones to more murder and destruction of the demon forces.

With the exception of every single creature he had met on this island. Stopping right before the small fox, Doomguy pondered what kindly hell it would bring upon them. "You are the trader Redd, correct?"

The small fox had heard the pounding footsteps coming towards him and braced himself for another gruff, angry customer as he was used to from his other clients. VEGA's voice threw him off completely. "I... well... yes, yes I am." It didn't take long for him to regain his footing. "Redd's my name and selling is my game. Artwork currently is my passion, and as a respectable businessman I will do my best to provide you with the highest quality authentic goods money can buy! It's nice to meet you Mr..."

"Mr Doom and VEGA will do fine." The AI noted the sun was nearing the horizon and moved as quickly as he could. "Now Redd, we hear you have access to a small boat that is tethered off the island correct?"

Again, the kitsune was taken aback. "O-Of course Mr Doom and VEGA; where else would I store my fantastical art wares? Would you be interested in me selling you some?"

Doomguy growled audibly and clenched his fists; the universal sign of 'definitely not'. "Actually, we would be more interested in your boat."

Redd quirked an eyebrow. "My boat? What interests you about the Jolly Redd?"

"Being in a world with very few transport options, the fact that you own a means of transporting yourself and cargo is in of itself interesting. Speaking of which, how many other...?" VEGA started, but after noticing his user's teeth clench together he decided to stick to the quick and easy route. "Apologies. We are looking for unsafe passage off the island, preferably to a warping or teleporting location."

Redd quirked his other eyebrow. "Unsafe passage?"

If the AI had a mouth, it would have grinned. "In our occupation no passage is safe."

"May want to rethink that one..." Redd muttered, sighing and drooping his ears. "Look I'm just here to sell art, make a quick bell and get out of here, not ferry across...well whatever you two are."

Doomguy detected a bit of sass in that last comment. He did not like sass. Reaching round, he unclipped his trusty combat shotgun and brought the barrel right in front of the dealer's face, sending as clear a message as he could.

Redd detected a bit of hostility from this action. He did not like hostility. "Threaten me all you want but it won't get you anywhere. The ship is for paying customers only, so even if you do get me out of your way, you'd be going nowhere without me."

"Wait wait!" VEGA's voice sounded on the internal headset, knowing from experience just how quickly the marine would shoot first and ask questions never. He was graciously granted a whole five seconds. "One; killing him may anger the tanuki, which is foolish in of itself. Two, based on the previous discoveries we have made in this world..." The shotgun clicked menacingly, "...he may be correct. He may have rigged the boat to self-destruct or there may be an unknown force that will prevent us from accessing the boat until we have bought a painting off him, which strangely seems more probably in this world. Either way, this Redd seems confident enough to stake his life on it."

The Slayer could not deny that. Though the shaking legs, trembling knees and quivering lips didn't paint quite the picture of confidence that Tom Nook had, the resolve was the same. It was hard, but Doomguy finally lowered his shotgun and allowed Redd to breathe again. "Very well, we shall purchase art. Would you mind waiting here while we acquire some bells?"

The small fox nodded shakily. "W-Well...I suppose I could wait a little longer for you if you were to buy something from me."

"Excellent, then we shall be back momentarily." VEGA told him, lighting up Tom Nook's store on the HUD and waited patiently as his user reholstered his weapon and proceeded to carry him towards the objective.

Being the unbelievably sophisticated AI that it was, VEGA had quickly adapted to its user's preferences, non-verbal language and brutally violent tendencies, but upon coming to this strange world it had noticed an anomaly among its programming. Perhaps it was the fact that Doomguy had gone almost half a day without viciously goring something, or the fact that he had interacted non-violently with such a plethora of characters in a small space of time, but either way it was beginning to almost...enjoy these encounters.

Had its systems been less advanced, it would have been lost in processing by the time the Slayer reached the small shop. Bending down slightly, he knocked gently on the glass doors, causing only minimal shattering.

"Greetings...greetings!" Timmy and Tommy greeted them, stepping into the door frame and smiling up at their new customer. "How can we help you today...assist?"

Doomguy rummaged through his suit and produced the fish he had caught, along with the one he had pilfered from the dead villager. The duo took the heavy fish without any strain, and once again the death machine was reminded just how powerful these tiny creatures really were.

"If there are to sell, they would be...3,500 bells...bells." The pair smiled at him, and the Slayer nodded, extending his hand to receive the money. "Is there anything else we can help you with...aid?"

"Is your uncle there?" VEGA asked suddenly, surprising not only himself but his user too. The AI quickly switched to the internal comm to explain himself. "We may need some intel on that fox and we need to resupply. My power is decreasing after all."

The Slayer sceptically glanced up at the 99% battery charge of his suit but didn't question it. After all that's why he had VEGA; so he could shoot first and have his questions answered regardless.

The two tanuki rushed off inside and were soon replaced by the store's owner, who shot them a surprised look. "Back so soon?"

"We have acquired the bells you requested," VEGA replied, "Along with many disturbing details about this island's inhabitants and natural laws. Were you aware that the villagers are unable to jump?"

"What is a jump?" Tom asked, then shook his head. "Forgive me, where are my sales manners? I hear you've just acquired 3,500 bells, which should buy you a grand total of...a power cell."

Doomguy grunted disapprovingly. "Is that all? And how much change would we have left over?"

"Actually, you would still owe me 1,500 bells," Nook explained, brushing his tail behind him impatiently, "but as luck would have it, I'm in a giving mood today and that item happens to be on sale. Though I must ask; what else would you be spendingyour money on?"

Seeing no reason to lie to the shop owner, VEGA explained. "We encountered the tradesman Redd earlier while seeking alternative passage off the island, but he stated that we could only access his boat if we bought a painting from him."

Tom snorted. "Oh, so that con artist is back in town then? I'm sure I don't have to tell you this, but be careful of what he's selling; his idea of 'genuine' doesn't match the one found in the dictionary."

"Indeed, we thought he was somewhat...sleazy, but I for one admired his persistence." Doomguy gave an annoyed scowl. "He is also alive; something that should speak for itself."

The tanuki nodded. "Well, while I appreciate your restraint, I should clarify that I myself am only fond of the PERMANENT residents of our town. Well, actually I'm fond of most of the travellers in this town to be honest, just not so much that tricky fox. Of course, I would prefer any lapses to happen outside of town..."

"On a certain boat perhaps?" VEGA suggested and for once, the Slayer's trademark grin began slowly creeping back onto his face as the heavy metal slowly began to play in the distant corners of his mind. "So long as we are in agreement."

The power cell was thrusted back into the marine's hands, along with the bells. "...I can't believe I'm saying this but...if possible, I would prefer for him to live. I do my best as a humble shop owner to avoid such...unpleasant circumstances if possible."

"If possible." The AI repeated both externally and internally, as Doomguy stuffed the items back into the crevices of his suit with a sadistic look in his eyes. "Though a...racoon of your talents should have no problem dealing with some competition through legitimate means."

Tom shrugged his shoulders. "Legally I should to allow some competitors to challenge the Nook brand, otherwise I would be a monopoly on everything and trust me; the court cases are as dull for those as you would imagine. Besides; the fox does have his uses. Or rather his ship the 'Sleazy Smuggler' does."

"Shouldn't that be the 'Jolly Redd'." VEGA piped up, a minute percentage of humour in his tone. "We shall try not to sink the ship then for any purposes, whichever way the encounter goes."

"Much appreciated." Nook shot them a smile and blinked innocently. "Now, is there anything else I can help you gentlemen with?"

Doomguy shook his head, his fingers mimicking the pulling of each unique gun trigger in his collection. "That is all."

"Then I wish you all the best with your day and art trades." The tanuki smiled sweetly and disappeared back inside his shop, leaving the two of them to their thoughts.

"Now..." VEGA's explanation routines were working in overdrive. "I understand that you haven't...indulged in demon killing for some hours, but I should remind you that the fox is still a fox and now from hell...I assume."

The Slayer turned away from the shop and folded his arms. He'd only had to sit through a few of these talks, and every one of them had ended with him not liking the outcome.

"This is unlike the rude Starbucks barista and you know it." His lips pouted. "Or the cinema assistant for Frozen 22. While rude, this fox is not keeping you from anything sweet and wholesome; rather he's our potential ticket out of here."

Doomguy hated these talks. Give him a thousand, no, a hundred thousand demons and he would kill them all. Give him an army of the remaining Marauder's and he would crush their will. But give him a tiny voice of logic and facts to battle and he would lose. Every. Damned. Time.

His hands lowered slowly to their sides, though the pout remained. VEGA had would this round, but the AI knew better than to push it. "We should still be...ready for the eventuality of combat and not rule it out of course, but so far the pacifist option is working well. Besides; you always had a particular eye for art, did you not?"

For some reason Doomguy couldn't imagine the tiny kitsune having any blood splatter paintings hanging from his ship's walls. "Or maybe he also does other artwork? You did say that Daisy was needing a new cage and something to look at apart from 'the cold emptiness of death and decay', correct?"

Of course, those hasn't been his words, but VEGA had interpreted his looks and done the best an AI could. Either way he was correct. Taking a deep, non-relaxing breath, the Slayer once again started putting one foot in front of the other, carrying the duo to their second wave of Redd.