Dread Threads

The mysterious cock crowed as sunlight fell upon the tiny island once more. VEGA, who had never stopped humming during the night, initiated the standard wakeup protocol while simultaneously scanning in vain to find the source of the crowing or indeed the sunlight.

Both attempts were unsuccessful.

It had been a few days since their agreement with Redd, three to be exact, yet regardless of the processing power and advanced detection systems employed by the AI, he could not find the source of either the light or the sound. For all of his cutting-edge technology and despite all of the complex problems he had solved on Mars, it was an elusive rooster and a hidden star that had defeated him.

Then there was Doomguy. For the past untold eons this man had barely ate, slept or stopped for anything but killing demons, yet here he was after just three days sleeping through his death metal alarm. Although the huge man wouldn't admit it, he was becoming somewhat accustomed to their new life on this world.

After their first day there, the two had decided to keep a low profile while they waited for their new goods dealer to supply them with an escape route. Of course, this plan was foiled almost immediately by the persistently friendly villagers, who bombarded the duo with kind offers and advice.

At first this had been nothing more than a minor inconvenience. A few hellos here and there, a couple of conversations about the best fishing spots or a famous being named "K.K.", but nothing more than that really. That was until the first noon of waiting. Until they met the one and only Boomer.

While sighted at their first contact with the villagers, Doomguy had never properly talked to the penguin until he accidentally crashed through him whilst running laps across the island. In the marine's defence, Boomer had been asleep beside one of the trees around midday, though that did not warrant kicking the penguin a whole thirty feet towards the ocean by mistake.

"Check for signs of life from the corpse." VEGA had told him, though when they walked over to the body all they had found him grinning lazily. After internally noting just how durable these creatures were, the AI and Boomer conversed and explained their situation whilst apologising profusely. The penguin had laughed it off in exchange for them carrying him back to his 'perfect spot', and on the way he had somehow garnered the respect of the incarnation of death on their island.

Said incarnation who was currently still sleeping. VEGA sighed and dusted off the secondary alarm protocol, which blared through the internal speakers of the suit and roused the slumbering giant. "Good morning; I am waking you as requested at sunrise to aid your fri-...associate with his clothing needs."

Doomguy glared at the corner of his HUD but slowly pulled himself off the floor. 'Friend' was still a word that was never to be used in relation to anything but Daisy, but for all intents and purposes Boomer was indeed a friend.

Following the initial unpleasantries and after setting the overweight animal back down at his resting spot, they had discovered that his beloved aviator goggled had been cracked. While Boomer had tried to laugh this off, the pair could tell he was upset, and thus had vowed to fix the damage.

After acquiring some intel about the town's clothing shop from the very friendly Isabelle, Doomguy had travelled there with all of their remaining bells in the hopes of correcting his mistake. However, after talking with the two hedgehog sisters, or more accurately with Mabel, they found that the closest thing they had was a pair of pilot shades which were slightly out of their price range.

A not so brief fishing trip solved this money shortage, though after buying and then delivering the item Boomer was not convinced. He was grateful definitely, but after mentioning how 'Fashion Lad' would be ashamed of his clashing style the trio agreed to keep searching for the perfect replacement.

Sable quietly slid into the picture at this point. Doomguy's eyes narrowed at the thought of her whilst doing his morning exercises. The hedgehog was an unyielding obstacle. Had he and VEGA still maintained their connection to the Fortress of Doom, repairing or even replacing the clothing would have been no issue, but without it they were reliant on the quiet Abel sister's skills to do it for them.

Skills that currently were off limits. No matter the intimidation or reasoning tactics they had used to persuade her, Sable was completely unresponsive to them, choosing to simply continue with her work. Aside Doomguy's silent suggestion of a chainsaw to the face, no legitimate answer had been proposed to solve the issue.

"She's like that at first." Boomer had explained on their second day of trying as they walked out of the shop. "Or...well she's just like that to me in general. But the old villager managed to get her to talk a bit so you should get there soon, human!"

The Slayer did not have that kind of patience. He was already waiting on one annoying animal and therefore had approximately zero time for another. To pacify this in as peaceful a way as possible, VEGA had suggested they gather intel and try to pressure her into helping them by exploiting her weaknesses.

Upon VEGA's suggestion, they had started with Blathers. While the owl knew fairly little about the quiet sister, he and the AI had another delightful conversation about the wildlife of the world that carried on long enough to make Doomguy consider turning his B.F.G. on himself. That said, he still allowed his virtual companion an hour or so of chatter before he aggressively produced the painting they had bought and walked away before they could move onto a topic equally as non-bloodthirsty.

The next informant was somewhat more helpful. Tom Nook had initially met the questions with a wary look, but after VEGA explained the reasoning and specified that they did not intend to hurt her the tanuki opened up and told them they were just going to have to wait it out. The AI had noted a peculiar tone in the racoon's voice whenever he mentioned the hedgehog, which led them to their final and most useful source; Isabelle.

Doomguy was surprised Boomer had come with them throughout this journey, but was strangely warmed by the penguin's presence and laid-back attitude. Back in his army days the marine endured several laid-back comrades which he had spurned greatly, but out of the fields of battle it was actually refreshing to be accompanied by someone who was able to just go with the flow. Though he didn't talk directly to the creature, Doomguy found himself almost smiling a genuine smile watching him waddle across the island.

Isabelle once again had been nothing short of delightful as usual. In a concise yet precise speech, she explained all about the sister's past, their shop and, most importantly, Sabel's friendship with Tom Nook. After hearing that tasty bit of information VEGA had ran conversational simulations until he achieved a perfect match, at which point they thanked the blushing dog and went on their way.

The second day the pair had decided to act inconspicuously when visiting the store. Boomer chatted to Mabel about the current trends and fashion, while Doomguy stood and admired the pyjama section of the shop quietly, much to the appreciation of Sable. VEGA had surmised that the best way to talk to her would be to not talk at all, and to come across as another connoisseur of fine clothing, though he still had to remind the Slayer multiple times not to response violently to the sideways glances the seamstress shot them.

After making their appearance Doomguy and Boomer left the shop to allow VEGA to go over his finalised scheme. The penguin was surprised at first, but when the AI explained that not only would they be doing something nice for the town but that he would also most likely get some cool new clothes from the venture, Boomer heartily approved.

The rest of the day was mostly spent walking around and trying to acquire more bells for the deal. VEGA rationalised that having more currency wouldn't hurt their chances at all, and so the three of them fished to their hearts content. The marine found that he was actually getting better at it, though they were still unable to decipher which shadows would garner the priciest fish, and more than that he found the activity...strange. It was almost as though his raging inner thoughts were being soothed, along with his muscles. VEGA had suggested that he was finally feeling relaxed, at which point he left the activity all together in somewhat of a huff. He was a demon killer by trade after all; no sense losing his edge. Still, it was enough of a feeling for it to linger with him throughout the night and even into his exercises.

"Shall we begin?" VEGA asked, snapping the Slayer out of his thoughts as he easily completed his thousandth press up and stood up straight. The nod confirmed it. "Then we shall get going."

The Slayer slipped through the hole in the wall and headed down towards the sea. They had decided against fixing the house due to the fact that both of them were completionists, meaning that if they started fixing even one brick on the wall they would be there until they finished, transporter home or not.

"Currently it is 7:20am, which gives us just under two hours before the store opens." VEGA told him, "This should be sufficient time to awaken your associate and help him decide what he wants. Perhaps you should thank him for sharing his sleeping techniques."

Doomguy scowled, but the glint in his eyes gave away the fact he was considering it. During their walking the conversation had turned to sleeping patterns on several occasions. While the Slayer was a master of many things, sleeping was one skill that had always eluded his mastery. Whether it was dreams of demons not being killed or sad thoughts about how Daisy seemed a little lonely without another rabbit, he was kept awake at night to the extent that he often forewent sleeping entirely.

Boomer, on the other hand, was a grand master of napping. Though he had his preferences, the penguin bragged that he could find a way to sleep on top of a bed of sandpaper, and from their few interactions with him the duo believed it. After suggesting a few breathing techniques and comfort finding tricks, Doomguy found that he was able to sleep better than he had in...well, ever.

As they approached the penguins house, the Slayer found himself trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes. This of course did not work as he was still wearing his Praetor Suit's helmet, but the act itself startled him more than the clanking of metal on metal.

"Shall I activate the suit's eye wipers?" VEGA suggested only to be met with a slightly groggy grunt. "They are real; I had them installed in case you were to face a gas elemental or something similar." He was met by another, less groggy grunt. "Really? I thought all the eye brutalities would have desensitised you to eye wash." The grunting switched to a hard stare. "Yes yes, seeing things touch eyeballs seems to be a common phobia of many humans, though I suppose I assumed with your love for all things gory that..."

Doomguy interrupted him by knocking on Boomer's door and waiting several seconds. As if by magic, the door opened ajar slightly on its own accord as if to invite him in. This would have worked, had he not been approximately the same height as the house itself. Sighing, he tried again with a bit more force, hoping to wake the penguin from his sleep.

This scene played out for another hour before they finally heard signs of life rumbling from inside the tiny building. "This is why I insisted on getting up early." VEGA explained, "Had we met him here for nine, we would have been later to the opening hours and thus would have lost the element of dazed surprise."

The Slayer pouted at his HUD once more, still somewhat salty that this master plan disregarded the fact that he himself had missed out on beauty sleep, but couldn't argue with the logic. They were going to need as much help as they could pulling this off.

"Morning guys!" Boomer called, yawning at the two of them as he stepped through the door. "Today's the day, right?"

Doomguy nodded and pointed towards the shop. "Indeed; it is time to protect you from 'Fashion Lad' and his critiques of your outfit."

With that they took off towards the shop as spritely as two incredibly tired beings could on a Thursday morning without coffee. Or without killing demons in Doomguy's case. Same difference.