A Night to Celebrate

"Mercer thinks –"

"That this is me? Seriously? I've been here this whole time," I said, throwing my hands up in the air. I began to pace then stopped and looked back to him, "You know this isn't me, right?"

"Is it?"

"No!"

"Then I believe you."

I shook my head and handed him the paper back. "Even if I wanted to randomly assassinate your Guild members, I wouldn't make it so obvious."

Brynjolf raised an eyebrow and I sighed. Already my mind was running over all the ways I could have successfully done the same crimes and not implicated myself. This wasn't what I wanted, to go back to that calculating place. I leaned over the wall, palms on the stone, looking down at Jorrvaskr.

"What's Mercer's plan then?" I asked Brynjolf.

"We shouldn't be discussing this here," he replied. "Meet me at the Bannered Mare, tomorrow morning."

I took a deep breath and stood up straight. "Ok, I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Have fun with your celebrations, Companion," he said, lightly. "Well not too much fun."

I pushed his shoulder playfully. "Go."

Brynjolf's smile faded. "I am sorry about this, Everlee."

"Yeah, me too," I said as I turned and headed down the stairs to the meadhall.

When I got back inside everyone cheered. I looked around and noticed one member was missing: Vilkas. Farkas motioned me over before I could think too much about it and I took my place next to him and began picking at some food, not particularly hungry but aware I should eat.

"So how does it feel to be a Companion?" asked Jared, who sat to my left.

"Painful," I said, trying to joke.

"Are you...alright Ever? I mean, you're not just here because of me anymore are you? I don't like the idea that -"

"I'm here because I want to be," I assured him. "I'm just tired from the long day and injuries Jared."

"Ah."

I decided then that I was going to enjoy myself. For tonight I would forget about my meeting with Brynjolf and I would definitely not think about Vilkas whatsoever. It was my night, a night of celebration in the midst of all the insanity in my life, and I was going to be fully part of it.

The night continued on, Farkas and Ria keeping me entertained with stories, speaking of their first days with the Companions. Even Njada (who seemed to be vying for position of "who likes Everlee the least") and Skjor seemed to be enjoying themselves. Vilkas never showed.

Eventually a small band of bards, either drawn to the merriment in the hall, looking for stories from the legendary order, or invited by one of the members wandered in and began to play music. An inebriated Torvar bet that Athis could dance better than Njada which led to the first bits of reluctant dance. The hall watched amused as Athis and Njada stiffly moved about the dancefloor, this clearly not an arena they were used to sparring in.

As they passed by the bench Farkas and I now sat on, I caught some of their conversation.

"You look...your hair is...nice like that," Athis said slowly.

Njada harrumphed and said, "Just focus on the dancing, milkdrinker."

But when they turned and I saw her cheeks were very clearly a dark shade of pink. She caught my eyes and gave me a glare that said exactly what she would do to me if I ever spoke a word of it. Before long they had wandered stiffly off and out of earshot once more.

"They fight hard together but there is something more there," Farkas noted about the odd couple.

I nodded, watching them. "Too bad it doesn't do anything to soften her edge. If I get called milkdrinker one more time..." I joked.

"Vilkas fights hard with you."

Startled I looked over at Farkas who had a soft smile upon his lips, his supernatural eyes looking sad. It struck me that he looked like a hurt puppy and for a second I had the urge to hug him before taking a deep breath and looking out over the dance floor. Aela and Kodlak now danced, an interesting sight, both had skill and a nimbleness that surprised me. It didn't take my mind off of Farkas's words however, and I looked down at my hands, unsure of what to say.

Finally I looked back at him, his face oddly blank. "I don't think it's the same thing, Farkas."

"I...do not know. Vilkas so rarely shares his feelings with anyone, even me. Aela likes to joke that he has none but I know that isn't true."

"I don't know. He seems awfully good at expressing anger, disgust, and disdain - especially toward me," I joked.

He smiled at that again, but it wasn't a true Farkas grin. "He spoke to me about you recently. He thinks I should not be as close to you as I am."

"I think...he's just worried about you," I said.

I thought back to the conversation between Vilkas and I and hoped that he had been telling the truth. The idea that Vilkas not only didn't hate me but could have feelings was...incomprehensible. His worry for his brother had been genuine, that much was obvious. Perhaps his fear had been spurred by his own inner insecurities. That I could also believe. Vilkas enjoyed giving me a hard time, perhaps because of Farkas or because he didn't like change, or...what did it matter? I had told myself I wasn't going to think about the angry enigma that was Vilkas and I was going to stick to that commitment.

"Worried about me?" Farkas asked, looking confused.

"He...told me that he thinks you have feelings for me. He said he would not like to see you hurt. He indicated that I should stay away from you."

"He did?"

"Yes."

We sat in the first awkward silence that either of us had experienced. Until then I wasn't even aware that there was such a thing when it came to Farkas who was so kind and personable that I had never seen an awkward moment between him and any Companion. Most people in Whiterun knew him too, and so did not think twice about the large Nord as he walked about town. Sure, an occasional passerby would wander through town and might be weary of Farkas due to his size and appearance, but the twin seemed to take no notice of it.

"He is right I think," Farkas said finally.

"Oh."

I was stunned. Farkas had been my first friend in Whiterun and we had grown close over the last few weeks. The idea that he thought we should stay away from each other, as his brother suggested, hit a soft spot I wasn't aware I had. He had been a constant source of support and caring. I had fought with my back to his on more than one occasion. It was because of him and his word that I had been made a Companion. The concept of no longer being able to turn to him was more than uncomfortable, it...hurt.

"I guess I should...go...to bed or something," I said quickly and rose.

Farkas instantly grabbed my wrist and stood. He tugged gently so that I turned to face him but I kept my eyes leveled at his chest.

"Why are you going?" Farkas asked.

I tried to tug my wrist free but he didn't seem to notice. I wanted to run from the room as I had run from Riften all those months ago. Finally I looked up at his face and saw the look of hurt and confusion there, his brows wrinkled and his eyes with a seriousness more suited to his brother's face.

"You said I should leave you alone. I was trying to do that."

"No. That isn't what I meant. I do not like to disagree with my brother. I know he is smarter than I am on many things but not about that. He is wrong," Farkas said.

"Then what did you mean?"

"I think I might have feelings for you."