A short while later, Sonic and Colton stood outside of Eggman's lair.
Sonic looked around the perimeter of the building and couldn't figure out a way in, so he told Colton "Okay Colton, as participant in my annual pauper to prince program, you'll be coming up with how we should go about finding the dream hat"
"No worries Sonic, I'm a born leader!"
Colton gave a thumbs up and winked, while Sonic nodded approvingly.
"Using my excellent foresight, I believe our best plan of attack is to not attack at all. Rather, we sneak in through one of the air ducts."
"Sure thing Colt, as long as it's not one of the ones with blades. I'm not making that mistake again"
"Good point. Then I'm altering the plan. Sonic, you go down the air duct first. Pray I don't alter it any further."
"This deal is getting worse all the time..."
Colton, pointing at a vent, indicated "That looks like a good place to enter. Why don't you verify for me."
"Of course, oh wise Colton"
Colton opened up the grate in the style of Batman: Arkham Knight.
"Alright Sonic, I see a big, wide opening that looks just right for a blue hedgehog. If only there was one around here to make sure."
"I'm going, I'm going. You don't have to patronize me you know"
Sonic climbed into the vent, grumling along the way.
Colton scolded Sonic, "Hey! I don't want any lip from you or you'll be leaving with a fat lip. I don't want to to justify rippin' someone's head off. Your best bet is to stay away motherf***er"
Sonic rebutted with "I think you better quit, talking that sh*t. Damn right I'm a maniac. You better watch your back"
"No, I think you better quit talkin' that sh*t. Now just get in the hole"
Sonic crawled through the vent while being followed by Colton.
Colton whispered to Sonic, "Heh, this reminds me of when we dressed up as that two person horse for Halloween!"
"Oh my god, I can't believe you would bring that up. Let's never speak about it again"
"Let's just find that hat and get out then. I can see a vent up ahead, why don't you check if you can see the hat through it."
"Did I mention that we don't know what the hat looks like?"
"You don't know what the hat looks like!" hissed Colton
"Shhhh, Eggman could hear us!"
Sonic looked down to find Eggman sitting on his couch just below the vent.
Eggman wondered "Why does it sound like Sonic and Colton are around here?"
He got up and looked around in an attempt to find the two heroes. Sonic peered down the vent and saw Eggman searching for him.
Sonic punched Tails in the foot and quietly exclaimed "See, I told you you'd alert Eggman! That horse costume has been nothing but trouble."
Sonic crawled further through the duct, but the grating gave way beneath him and he fell to the floor with a loud thud. Eggman turned around to see Sonic lying on his crushed table, declaring "Aha, snooPING AS usual, I see."
From above, Colton could be heard saying "Hey Sonic, what's going ahhhhh…."
Colton fell through the opening and landed on Sonic.
"It sees we have a two for one special on meddlesome brats today. Good thing I just finished making more robots. Speaking of…"
Eggman pushed a button on a control panel beside him and robots swarmed into the room.
Sonic turned to Colton
"Looks like we're in trouble, Colton"
"Jiminy Jilickers Sonic!"
"We'll have to fight our way out, are you ready?"
"Yes"
"Fight all you want, It's hopeless to fight my army of robots." stated Eggman, "Where you smash one, two more can take its place!"
Smashing and spin dashing their way through dozens of robots. Colton and Sonic stood back to back with each other in fighting stances. Colton whispered "It looks like Eggman might be right about this one. There's just too many of these damn robots. Our best bet is to escape."
Sonic and Colton ran to the exit, but the door refused to open.
"You can't escape you two, I've glued the door shut" explained Eggman
Colton pointed towards a window on the other side of the room.
"Look Sonic, there's a window we can escape through!"
The two then rushed to the window, and Sonic spin dashed against it, but merely bounced off it.
"Nice try you two, but I've replaced all the glass with rubber"
Sonic got up and faced Eggman.
"There's only one way left to escape...hey, Eggman, where's the bathroom in this lair? I'm sure you don't want me mak…"
"Woah woah woah, I get the question. I don't need any more details. It's the door on the left"
Sonic opened the door on his left, revealing several racks of cosplay outfits, sized specifically for Eggman. After he opened it, Eggman instantly sprinted over to block Sonic's view.
"Eh he, nothing to see here, just move along. This space is closed for visitors. "
Sonic peered around Eggman, "Is that a Ken Kaneki outfit?"
Eggman stumbled through his explanation, "It's a good show with good characters! The fanbase might be a bit cringey but I….you know, this is NOT an exhibit! Go check your other left this time."
"Jeez, sorry I asked. I never would've pinned you as a weeb"
Sonic opened the door opposite of Eggman's closet of shame.
"Hey, Colton, I found the restroom! We can escape through the toilets!"
"Too late you two, I've already clogged all the toilets." He further explained "It's no use, you'll never escape unless I let you. Now it's just me, you two, and my army of robots"
"Hey Sonic, I don't think it's any use. It doesn't look like we're getting out unless Eggman lets us out"
Eggman shouted "That's what I just said! Weren't you listening? There wasn't anything else to listen to" Eggman pinched the bridge of his nose. "At least you recognize the futility of trying to escape."
"So tell me, are you going to walk into the cages I've set up, or would you prefer my robots throw you in?"
Sonic spin dashed into one of the cages, the door closed behind him.
Colton gave a snarky smile, "I prefer to fly if you don't mind"
"Smart alecs….." grumbled Eggman
After a few minutes had passed, Colton asked "Okay Eggman, now that you've got us caged here, what do you want? What's your evil plan this time?"
"I'm glad you asked." Enthused Eggman. "As you might have noticed, I'm the only person here most of the time. I have robots to keep me company, but have you ever tried holding a conversation with a scorpion bot? They're terrible at it! Only giving short, one sentence replies. I mean how's an evil mastermind supposed to keep a conversation going when there's no reciprocation, It's madness!"
Sonic replied with "Righhht, so how does this affect us?"
"With my 300 IQ, perfect moustache, and magnificent physique, women are intimidated by me. I want someone that I can speak to here. It gets lonely when you have no one to talk to. I thought that you might be able to help me with finding someone, maybe an Eggwoman? You know, bro to bro."
Colton told Eggman "We could totally help you with that, as long as you free us. It'll be just like how Sonic and Amy are a.."
"Huh, what? Amy isn't anything to me. Oh uh, what I meant to say was that she means nothing to me! Wait, that sounds worse. I mean pfft, we're chill, you know how it be."
"Perfect! Ignoring what Sonic's response obviously means, I'm sure you'll be able to help me find a fair maiden!"
Sonic shook his head, "Okay, your first lesson: don't call anyone a 'fair maiden' again."