Sonic, Knuckles, Colton, and Tails returned to Tails' workshop to wait for Eggman's arrival.
Amy was excited to hear the results
"So, tell me, how did it go?"
Colton and Sonic looked at each other and nodded in agreement. Colton said "I think it went pretty well"
Eggman slammed the door open. His clothes were torn, burnt and smoking.
Sonic spun around to face Eggman
"Hey, Eggman! Nice to see you again. How'd that bachelor show go.
Eggman stood silently with his fists clenched at his sides.
Colton added "Well, we did our best. It looks like you're just gonna be single forever"
"Ohhhh no, that wasn't the deal." growled Eggman "I still don't have a partner and I'd hardly call that show any real effort. You better fix this or it's back in the cage!"
Tails thought for a moment before stating "I have an Idea, since your chance of viable human interaction is 100% impossible at this point, what if we made you a girlfriend instead?"
Eggman's demeanor softened, "Make me one? What do you mean? Are you suggesting we capture someone and hypnotize them?"
"Uhhh, that's not really what I had in mind. I'm suggesting that I make you a robot girlfriend! I can program her to be perfect for you!"
"A robot partner huh? Why didn't I think of that!"
"Unfortunately, I can't build one from scratch, so we'll have to use one of yours as a base."
"Alright, to my collection of failed inventions it is."
Eggman grabbed Tails by the arm and ran with him outside
"Tails, you're coming with me to look for any suitable bots"
A short run later, Eggman and Tails returned to Eggman's base. Eggman led Tails to a dark room full of damaged and inactive robots. They walked through rows of robots in various states of disrepair.
Tails perused the selection before asking "Are you sure you have any of these that look, I don't know, vaguely human?"
"I don't know, I lost track of them all"
Tails looked around and eventually he pulled the infamous Tails Doll out of a pile. He recoiled in shock after realizing what he'd picked up, dropping it in the process. He stood up and shivered.
From the other side of the room, Eggman yelled out "I think I found the perfect one."
"Really? Let me see it."
Tails walked over to find Eggman holding a robot that looked exactly like Shadow the Hedgehog. Tails stared at him in confusion.
"Are you sure that's what you want to go with, I mean, it's kind of...you know…"
"Oh, I see. Maybe you'd prefer I use the Tails Doll" retaliated Eggman
"What...no...I... whatever, it's your choice"
"The base doesn't really matter, you just have to make it look feminine"
Tails looked the Shadow robot up and down, picturing various outcomes in his head
"...Ok...as strange as that sounds, we could probably do 1/8 of that"
"Then it's settled, now get to work."
They returned to Tails' workshop and went straight to work. After a few minutes, Eggman began hovering over Tails to watch his progress.
"Perfect! This is exactly the kind of change I was looking for!"
"But all I did was change the red in Shadow's fur to pink"
"I may wear goggles all the time, but I'm not blind you know"
Tails looked over his work so far and clarified with Eggman, "Are you sure this is what you're after? I mean, I barely did anything to it"
"I know, that's why It's perfect!"
Eggman stared intensely at the robot, his concentration unwavering.
"Hmmm, I guess it could be a bit more evil looking. You know what, why don't you make that fur on her chest pink too, that ought to do it."
Tails painted the patch of fur on android Shadow's chest to match the pink on her body
Eggman patted Tails on the back, telling him "Tails, you really are a mechanical genius!"
"Uhh, thanks...I guess? Why don't you let me work on it a little more. I'm sure I can improve the design."
"I don't know, I'm not sure how this could get any better."
Tails remarked "I seem to remember you calling me a mechanical genius. Would a mechanical genius ruin his own design?"
Eggman thought back to various designs of his that failed, "You've got a point. Fine, you can change it, but so help me if it isn't any better" Eggman shook his fist at Tails before leaving the shop. Three days later, he returned in a suit.
"Alright, I'm ready to see my new bride"
Sonic escorted Eggman to a small stage that had been prepared
"Everyone is just finishing up the design"
He shouted into the workshop "Is it ready?"
Colton came out and told Eggman "The deed has been done"
Sonic nodded and yelled "Okay, bring it out"
Amy came out from another room pushing a dolly covered in tarp. Tails walked up and, after several pulls, casted off the tarp, revealing the new and improved android Shadow. It was clad in nothing but a ragged floral loincloth, hastily nailed to the android's hips. The robot had matching pink eyeliner and gatling guns jutting out from where its breasts should be. Accenting the variety of ill-fitting nails and exposed wiring was a patchwork of duct tape. A moustache, whose materials were of dubious origin, was modeled after Eggman's own and was affixed to the robot's face, finishing the electro-mechanical monstrosity.
Amy proudly declared "Here you go. One robot waifu, just for you"
Eggman teared up and gently spoke.
"She's Beautiful! She looks just as I dreamt the love of my life would"
Tails walked over to the android
"Just need to turn her on"
Eggman quickly stated "Hey, that's my job!"
Tails turned to Eggman and stared with a blank expression before flipping the switch to activate the robot. The robot stood up and turned towards Eggman.
Eggman walked up to the robot and tenderly said "Eggwoman, It's me Eggman! I'm…..well….I'm your life partner. So, do you love me?"
The robot spoke in a version of Shadow's voice that had been pitch shifted up. "Affirmative"
"Tails, this is marvelous! You've made me the happiest evil mastermind on the entire planet, which isn't that happy in reality, but still!"
Sonic looked over the work he'd had no part in and declared "Looks like our work here is done."
"Not so fast, Sonic"
Can't help it Eggman, I've gotta go fast! That's what the song says."
"That is a catchy song...Nevermind that, how do I keep Eggwoman charged?"
"That's easy!" answered Tails, "I installed piezoelectric power supplies in her feet so she charges all the time! I also kept the original power it had to start with, and you can switch her on and off as you please"
"It's amazing the sort of robot we can build with teamwork! Remember kids, teamwork makes the dream work!"
Amy looked around, "uh, Eggman, who are you talking to?"
"The readers of course! The fine young boys and girls reading this fanfic right now."
Knuckles yelled out excitedly "I'm in a story?! Sweet! I hope I'm cast as the courageous intellectual I truly are!"
"Knuckles, you just used improper grammar when you explained to the audience how intelligent you are."
"I can't help it! It's part of my character"
Eggman took Eggwoman's hand and began walking out of the shop with the robot's feet dragging across the ground.
"Alright, I've seen enough here. I think it's time I show Eggwoman to everyone in town."
Eggman and Eggwoman left the workshop and headed home.
So Eggwoman, is it true what they say? Do chicks dig giant robots? Because I've got something to show you if that's the case"
Knuckles asked the rest of the group, "Hey guys, did you ever find my dream hat?"
Everyone groaned.
"Do you really need it that badly?" asked Tails.
A montage ensued of Eggman and Eggwoman enjoying a night on the town and Eggman showing Eggwoman his robots, with The Cure - Friday I'm In Love his robots, with The Cure - Friday I'm In Love playing.