42. Waking Up

When I awoke I discovered that I was not surrounded by rubble, not in any immediately noticable pain, and not in my bed. I blinked, my vision coming into focus too slowly to make out much at first. I turned my head, feeling dizzy as I did as the outline of a person came into focus in the dimly lit room.

"Brynjolf?" I asked, confused.

The thief looked up from the little book he had been writing in, strapping it on his belt as he did so. He smirked, before raising a finger to his lips. "I'm not here."

"And here is?"

"Bulky sweat-smelling giant number two the more compact edition's room," Brynjolf joked, the familiar sound of his voice setting me at ease.

"Thanks. That made everything as clear as my vision," I said even as the room came into complete focus. I looked around the room once more and saw a giant's head on a pike standing before the wall opposite of Brynjolf. "Vilkas's room. Jorrvaskr."

"Been in it before, have you lass?"

I groaned as my body protested against me lifting myself up into a sitting position to throw a pillow at him. "It always comes down to that with you."

"Not always, but when it does come, it-"

"Stop, just stop right there. One innuendo per minute is enough," I said.

"As you wish," he said, still smirking. I rolled my eyes at him.

"What are you doing here anyway?"

"Besides saving your life?" he asked. "Unfortunately very little."

"Saving my life?" I asked. "I don't..."

"There was an assassin from some recently extinct vampire clan?" he asked.

"Great, them. Wait, they're dead?"

"What are you doing in here?" a deep voice growled, no love for the red-haired thief sitting before me in his voice.

"Ah, there's my jailer now. I was just vacating your quarters of course," he said. "I didn't mean to steal the twenty seconds you don't spend in here stealing your air -"

"Just go," Vilkas interrupted him, moving into the room stiffly, muscles taut.

"So I'm free to -"

"No. Stay in the meadhall," he said.

"Yes, sir," Bryjolf mocked one last time before winking at me. "I'll allow you two to get a room."

I rolled my eyes at him as he shut the door on his way out. Vilkas looked at me steadily, silence stretching over us awkwardly before he seemed to realize and made his way to sit down in a chair closer to me than Brynjolf had taken up.

"You're feeling better?" he asked formally.

"Compared to dying? Yes," I said.

Vilkas didn't say anything, not meeting my eyes as his brows furrowed.

"You said you weren't," he said finally.

"We both knew I was lying," I said, quietly, feeling the awkwardness build. "What happened?"

"The Companions raided the tunnels. Farkas and some of the others dug you out, he brought you back. I couldn't – wasn't able," he said, sounding reluctant to admit it.

"That's not your fault. How are you after that? You were shot in the leg and -"

"You've been out of it for a week now, my injuries have been tended to more than once," he said.

"A week?" I asked, surprised.

I had known I was near death but to be in a coma for so long, that I had survived that...

"I'm sorry," I said.

Finally Vilkas's yellow eyes met my gaze. "Why are you apologizing?"

"I – I don't know."

He looked away again. "We took care of the clan. There are none left to bother us."

"The whole clan? Even Cairne and Brenovere and -"

"All of them, their leader Auro included," he said, the venom in his voice unmistakable. "All except the assassin they sent."

"Brynjolf mentioned something about that."

"So you do know him?" Vilkas asked.

I felt panic rise up in me at the suspicion in his voice. "Yes. We met in Riften."

"He's a merchant?" he asked, the same doubt in his voice.

"Yes," I said.

"Was he the friend you met the day before we left?"

"This is starting to sound like an interrogation."

Vilkas glared at me. "It wouldn't if you hadn't anything to hide."

"You're right, he's my secret lover and we have three lovely children together including an adopted Argonian named Sith."

Vilkas narrowed his eyes and I shifted to sit up straighter to glare at him properly but doing so seemed to cause pain to flare up and I winced, gasping for air as I thwacked my head against the bed frame in an effort to lie down as my eyes squeezed shut.

"Everlee, are you alright?" said another voice.

I took a deep breath in, the flash of pain gone nearly as quick as it had come. I opened my eyes to see Farkas staring down from way up high. I smiled at him gently and watched as the lines of worry eased from his face and he grinned widely down at me.

"I knew you would be alright. They healed you but said you may feel some pain for up to a week after you woke up."

"They said 'if' you woke up," Vilkas added. "I...apologize for straining you. Another time."

And like that he was completely formal as he quickly exited the room, shutting the door Farkas had left wide open.

Farkas frowned, his face turning back to me after watching him leave. He took a seat on the bench Brynjolf had been on, moving as close to me as possible. "He is acting strange."

"He seems to be acting pretty Vilkas-like to me," I noted.

"Lately I do not understand my brother," Farkas said, shaking his head. "He has spent nearly every minute at your side since we killed the clan yet now that you're awake he is angry and leaves."

"He did?" I asked, unsure of what to make of that revelation.

Farkas nodded. "He said he wanted to make sure no one else was left to try to get to you since the assassin almost turned you into a vampire. That's what he says, though I think he feels guilty that you stayed in the vampire den for so long. When it was feasible we moved you to his room though you were in mine at first. It seemed more practical."

"I..." I began, but still unable to come up with a comment to Vilkas watching over me, said instead. "Why would he feel guilty? It isn't his fault."

"I know that. But they used him to capture you and to keep you there when you could have escaped," Farkas said.

"What makes you say that?"

"Vilkas told me," his twin answered. "Said you were able to devise a way out when you had to. He figures you saved his life."

"I – well, I'm his shield-sister. He would do the same for me," I said.

"I told him that myself but he doesn't listen to me," Farkas said. "He likes to make things complicated."

"You can say that again," I said.

"I know," Farkas said, grinning wide.

I shook my head, smiling at his odd sense of humor. Then trying to fill in more holes in my knowledge said, "Brynjolf seems to be under the impression he's being held captive."

"No. We wanted to keep an eye on him when we found him standing over you with a bloody sword."

"Understandable," I said.

"Yeah, but he hasn't been the murder-sort of trouble. Just seems to enjoy driving Vilkas and Njada crazy. Vilkas forbid him from seeing you, said it was for your safety, but Aela thinks it's so that he could get away from the merchant," Farkas said.

I laughed, "That sounds like Brynjolf. So, the vampire clan is dead? All of them?"

"Yes," Farkas said but he was frowning now.

"That's a good thing right? None left to exact a more elaborate revenge scheme right?"

"No." But he was frowning.

"What's wrong?"

"Vilkas," he said, but didn't elaborate.

"Vilkas?"

"Vilkas not being like Vilkas."

"Right, you said that, but I still don't see -"

"I promised I wouldn't talk about it," Farkas said, offering an apologetic smile. "But I will say that Vilkas did a lot of the work in regards to the Vampire clan. You might...ask him about it. He still refuses to speak to me when I ask."

"Ask him what?"

"I can't say."

"Right."

"Sorry."

We sat in silence until a knock on the door brought forth Tilma, a bowl of soup, and a healer.

"I will go now," Farkas said. "But if you need me, call. I will probably be nearby."

"Thanks, Farkas."

"Shield-sister."

The healer saw to my wounds, and remarked that I was nearly completely healed, her eyes seemed disbelieving as she spoke which was not a reassuring sign for how close I had come to death. When she and Tilma exited I began eating my soup, Brynjolf sneaking in silently before the door shut.

"Good to see you awake, lass," Brynjolf said.

"Bored of watching my beauty rest?"

"Is that what you'd call the look on your face? Hmm," he said.

"I'd throw a pillow but I'm running low," I joked.

Brynjolf laughed and grabbed the pillow from the bench and placing it beside me, helping me lean forward, his warm calloused hand on my back deftly lifting me without causing pain.

"Seriously, are you alright?" he asked. "You had me worried."

"I seem to be good at that," I said. "I'm fine. And thank you, for saving my life."

"I owed you one, didn't I?" he said. "Well, for saving my face anyhow."

"Yes, wouldn't want your roguish good looks to fade. What would you have left?"

"So, you admit I'm good looking?"

I rolled my eyes, feeling a blush form on my cheeks again as I took another sip of the broth Tilma had prepared.

"You're blushing," he said, sounding too pleased with himself.

"It's the soup."

"Uh huh."

"So you're on lockdown?" I asked, changing the subject.

Brynjolf laughed. "Not exactly. They stopped watching me closely after the first day."

"Your charm not work on them?"

"It works the way I want it to lass," he said. "They wouldn't miss me now except for the relief they'd feel, unsure of why."

"Then why are you still here?" Then, realizing that might be offensive because he was probably there to see me, I said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean -"

"No, I'm not offended," he said easily but I had the feeling it was a front.

"Brynjolf, I'm sorry," I repeated. "I know we haven't known each other long but...anyway I'm glad you're here. Not glad to worry you, but glad you stayed."

"Aye, me too. I had almost forgotten what pretty eyes you have," he said.

"Stop it."

"Blushing."

I pursed my lips and threw a pillow.

"What's going on here?" Vilkas asked, having come in through the door once more, as if on que. His eyes went from the pillow Brynjolf was holding to the blush on my cheeks and suddenly I felt like a silly and errant child.

"Abuse, I do believe. I really should speak to someone about my rights as a prisoner here," Brynjolf said.

"Go."

"Charming," Brynjolf said sarcastically as he stood up and turned to me. "Feel better, Everlee. I think I may get parole soon, if not I might just have to escape."

He winked at me and I realized that he meant he was leaving and I opened my mouth to protest, to ask him to stay but he was already out the door, Vilkas shutting it somewhat forcefully behind him. Vilkas sat down on the bench, as far from me as he could manage, and picked up a book that had been set on the table beside it.

I sighed, leaning back heavily against the bed once more. Unbidden the memory of his voice saying my name, rocking me back and forth while I was on the edge of consciousness came back to me. Had...had I really told him that I liked him saying my name?

"You're blushing," Vilkas said, sounding confused.

"Seems to happen a lot," I muttered, wishing I could hide my face from him without making it look obvious.

"With the merchant?" Vilkas asked, his voice less friendly.

"No, I mean yes, technically. You listen to him for five minutes," I said.

"I have, unfortunately."

"He's a good guy."

The nord's eyes drilled holes into me, as if asking some question but I couldn't figure out what that might be.

"Anyway, that's not why," I said, then wished I hadn't because I knew what he would ask.

"Then why were you blushing? Are you feeling ill?"

"I was thinking about some stupid things I probably said back when I wasn't dying," I said.

He said nothing.

"What, no comment about how I normally say stupid things?"

"I didn't need to apparently," Vilkas responded.

"Ha ha," I said sarcastically.

Finally, after more silence and Vilkas had returned to his book I had to speak.

"Why are you always angry at me?"

"I'm not."

"You act like it."

"You misinterpret me."

"So how am I supposed to interpret growling tones, narrowed eyes, and thinly veiled insults?"

"I am not angry at you," he said, his voice rising.

"Then who are you angry at exactly? I'm the only one in this room."

"No you're not," he said and stopped abruptly.

"You're angry at yourself?" I asked. "Is this...because you think...it wasn't your fault."

"Of course it wasn't."

At that I felt myself suddenly unable to speak. His tone spoke clearly of whose fault he thought it was. I laid my head back against the bed frame again, my head tilting upward, eyes staring blankly at the ceiling.

"It wasn't your fault either," Vilkas said, sounding unsure of his words.

"You lie so well," I said sarcastically, my eyes following a small crack in stone above me.

"I'm not lying, I just wasn't sure if I was saying the right thing."

"Don't strain yourself."

"I'm trying to be nice. Kodlak...pointed out to me that we may be more similar than I thought," he said.

I thought about his words for a moment before looking at him once more, prying my gaze from the ceiling. "You killed Auro?"

"I did."

"And Brenovere and Cairne."

"Yes. Farkas told you?"

"No, you just did. I would have, if it had been you or someone else I cared about that had almost died and I felt that it had been my fault."

The corner of Vilkas's mouth lifted upward slightly, a small smirk that was enough to make me smile. I was reluctant to ask the next question.

"Did you Turn to kill them?" I asked.

He didn't answer for a moment. "Yes. Though I was human at the end. Mostly."

I looked at him across the room and had the strange desire to reach out and touch his face to comfort him and was suddenly glad for the distance between us.

"You are always human."

"No, for awhile I..." Vilkas said, but struggled to continue, his jaw tight. "I lost myself."

"You are always Vilkas," I said.

"You don't understand," he said, frustrated. "You will never understand."

"Then explain it to me."

"I...I shouldn't have turned. Kodlak was right."

"Then why did you?"

"Because I needed to – to just –" Vilkas said, his hands balled tight into fists. "They nearly killed you, they caged me, took away everything. I wanted..."

"Revenge."

"Yes."

"That's human."

"Is it?" he asked. "Do you tear out the throats of people who anger you?"

"No," I said. "But that doesn't make you less human."

"Then what does exactly?"

"You clearly feel guilty, Vilkas. That isn't something a monster feels."

"A monster has many reasons to regret."

I shook my head, frustrated. "You are a good person even if you have something about you that isn't perfect, that scares you because of what it's capable of and..." I stopped, thinking about my own thieving skills, about having run from Riften. "Maybe we are too much alike."

Then I thought about what that meant though not in the deep way I might have pondered it had the healer not given me medicine, the affects of which were beginning to make me feel warm and fuzzy. I squished up my nose at the bizarre concepts floating in my head.

"What?" Vilkas inquired. "Why are you making that face?"

"If I'm like you and your brother has a crush on me, does that mean he's got a crush on you?" I asked. "If we dated, would that be like...incest?"

Vilkas laughed loud and rough once, unlike any noise I'd heard him make before and it caused me to laugh, smiling.

"Your medicine seems to be working," he said.

The sound of his voice seemed to resonate in my chest, reminding me of when he had rocked me in his arms once more as the world became distant and dream-like.

"You shouldn't be so angry," I said. "Your face is nicer when you're not."

"I'm not sure if that is a compliment or an insult."

I said nothing, beginning to fall asleep I said, "I was blushing because I told you I liked your voice."

"I believe you said you liked my voice saying your name," he said, a surprising hint of humor in his tone that even my tired brain picked up on.

"That too," I said. He smiled and I was almost certain I was hallucinating on the end of consciousness as I continued blathering on. "Brynjolf has a nice voice too. I like his accent. Don't tell him. It will go to his head."

Vilkas said something as I fell completely asleep but I couldn't make out what it was.

Author's Note: Sorry for the one day delay. I was working to recover some of the vital information I lost on this story. Also, due to a newly realized cannon-conflict issue (a very minor one) Everlee's age has been changed from twenty two to twenty five and the chapter mentioning her age has been updated to reflect that. Thanks everyone for reading!