Krampus Is Coming to Kick Ass

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Christmas Eve, in the human world it is a day of joy but in Hell it is a day of dread. For you see in life we get Santa but those in Hell get Krampus. Krampus is a demon of punishment and he is feared by all. The denizens of Hell were preparing for his arrival when they heard it, The sound of chains rattling. Suddenly something whooshed by a group of demons, their eardrums bursting from what sounded like a jet engine.

Everyone looked up and saw a sleigh pulled not by reindeer but by black wolves the size of lions. The sleigh was black and covered in spikes, chains, and bones; overall, it looked like Santa's sleigh in a Mad Max movie. In the front seat was Krampus himself. He was tall, easily two feet taller than the average human, massive horns sprouting from his head, blood red eyes with no pupils, dark fur all over his body, goat like legs with hooves, a long imp tail, and he wore nothing but a black loincloth.

He laughed as he looked over the city "get ready boys" he said, his voice deep and menacing. Behind in him were a trio of goblins, unlike Santa's elves who were kind and loving Krampus' goblins were cruel and spiteful. They laughed as two pulled out machineguns and one pulled out a grenade launcher. Krampus laughed as they rained down destruction on the demons below. His smile grew as he saw Porn Studios in the distance.

He snapped his reigns "on Smasher, Gnasher, Crusher, Biter, Wrecker, Bludgeoner, Crasher, Bleeder, and Burner" he called out; the ninth wolf breathing a gout of fire, lighting up the sky ahead. "There's some very bad demons that need a good dose of ass whooping" the wolves howled as they speed towards the studio.

The three V's were in a panic room hoping to wait out Krampus' rampage. They heard desperate banging on the door "daddy please" Summer and Dia sobbed. Valentino scoffed "you bitches knew the rules, this door don't open until Krampus is gone, not my fault you weren't fast enough" he said without a hint of remorse. Suddenly they heard screams and the sound of running and everything was silent. After a moment, a fist rammed through the door, the hand opened and grabbed ahold and pulled the door off its hinges.

Krampus tossed the door down the hall and entered the panic room. "Well, well, well" three wells, never a good sign "the three V's, there's a lot of bad people in Hell and you three are some of the worst." His gaze zeroed in on Val "especially you Valentino, tell me do you enjoy Angel Dust's tears." As he talked, he walked until he was right in front of the three overlords. Val threw a punch at Krampus' face, but his fist was caught by a chain that came from a portal next to Krampus, three more chains snared his other three hands.

"Now Val didn't your parents ever teach you to keep your hands to yourself, if you can't follow that rule…" the chains pulled and ripped Val's arms off "you shouldn't have them" Krampus laughed. Val screamed as he fell to the floor, his blood spraying from his stumps. Vox sent a blast of electricity at Krampus but to his horror it had no effect except gaining the latter's attention. Krampus smiled as he pulled out a chain with two sharp objects at both ends.

He threw one end at Vox, hitting him in the chest. Vox's eyes widened in horror when Krampus threw the other end at a fuse box. Vox screamed as electricity coursed through his body before his head shorted out and smoke wafted off his body as he collapsed. Velvet whimpered, unable to move due to being paralyzed with fear. Krampus grabbed her by a pigtail and dragged her to the penthouse as she screamed.

When they arrived, Krampus whistled to his unchained wolves "got a nice ragdoll for you to play with boys." He tossed Velvet to them and they fell upon her, she screamed as they bit and tossed her around. Krampus leaped from the window, landing on an imp crushing him and cracking the pavement. He was doing the rest of this on foot.

After a few hours it was nearing midnight and Krampus had left a trail of destruction across Hell. Henroin and Arackniss were left beaten and hanging from the ceiling. Everyone in Cannibal colony had their teeth broken. Sir Pentious' mouth was stuffed with egg bois. Blitzo groaned as he crawled out of a sack, Krampus stuffed him in it and slammed him into stuff like Jason Vorhees. Loona laid on the ground in pain, a few miles away from where she originally was after Krampus punted her like she did that baby.

Katie Killjoy and Tom Trench's heads were shoved into monitors. Helsa and Seviathan were bruised and wrapped up in her tentacles. Scenes like this were spread throughout Hell.

Five minutes to midnight, once the clock struck twelve it would be Christmas day and Krampus would go back to his home. He stood in front of the Hazbin Hotel and everyone inside looked at him in terror. "Shit, I was hoping we'd run out the clock" Cherri Bomb said, having taken shelter at the hotel. The only one who wasn't afraid was Alastor, sitting at the bar/reception desk with his usual smile. Everyone started freaking out when Charlie and Vaggie approached the door "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO DOING" Angel Dust yelled.

Charlie gave them a reassuring smile "don't worry, he won't hurt anyone here" she said before her and Vaggie exited the hotel. Everyone except Alastor had their faces pressed against the windows "are they going to fight him" Nifty asked. Husk groaned "if they are, they're the craziest bitches in Hell."

The princess and her girlfriend stood before Krampus. He smiled at them with that terrifying smile that rivaled Alastor. A pair of portals opened and reach in before pulling out… a pair of presents. "Merry Christmas you two" he said, handing them their gifts. The two opened them and were happy with what they got. Vaggie's was a beautiful blue dress that sparkled in the light and Charlie's was a music box with a ballet dancer in it. The couple thanked him for the gifts and Charlie even hugged him, along with Vaggie at Charlie's urging. After chatting a few minutes, a great ringing echoed through the city, it was officially Christmas day.

Krampus whistled and his wolves appeared pulling his sleigh, one of the wolves had one of Velvet's arms in its mouth before spitting it out. Krampus boarded his sleigh, flying into the sky and disappeared.

The couple entered the hotel with smiles on their faces and were met with looks of disbelief from the others. "What the fuck was that" Angel Dust asked. Charlie adopted a sheepish look "well Santa can't enter Hell, so he gave Krampus the job of delivering a present to me, he included Vaggie when we started dating" she explained. Charlie perked up when she remembered something "oh one of his gifts was a great cookie recipe, how about I make some" she said, beaming at the residents.

Later everyone was enjoying cookies and like Charlie said they were great.

AN: hey everyone hope you enjoyed my Christmas story. Happy holidays and have a safe time.