A Friendly Proposal

The rest of the day was fairly peaceful. Vilkas still wasn't ready to take dinner in the meadhall that night, so that was one less thing to worry about.

The next day I had one job which had been to knock some sense into a man who didn't understand that "no means no" when it came to romancing a farmer's daughter. The woman, around my age, was very grateful and had invited me to stay for lunch, which I had accepted before taking the short walk back to the city.

Just inside the gate I saw a man inquiring about which way it was that he could find the Dragonborn with the Adrianne who I still occasionally requested dagger orders from. She gave me a pointed look over the man's shoulders and I shrugged, indicating I didn't know what he was there for and giving her permission to point me out.

She nodded toward me and the man turned around. He was short, even shorter than me, and carried a sturdy leather pack on him. Despite his apparent youth it looked like he was one of the traveling messengers sent between cities (most younger messengers were typically kept within one city to deliver and didn't travel between them).

"Letters for you miss," the boy said.

I gave him some coin as he handed me three letters. I turned over the first and thought about opening it on my walk back to Jorrvaskr but then decided better of it and decided to get some privacy first. I was able to sneak into the meadhall fairly easily as I'd decided to wear the generic light glass armor I had Arcadia make weeks before. My Thieves Guild armor was still suffering from my first (and so far onlly) task I'd completed for them.

While my heavy armor was a familiar and comforting feature of my adventuring days, I'd been finding that I was developing a preference for light armor, for the flexibility it gave me to strike and dodge quickly and if I were in need to be silent or sneaky, it was useful for that too. Unlike Farkas, I hadn't developed the unnatural ability to be go unnoticed in heavy armor, at least not in the day when everyone was wide awake. Still, I felt vulnerable in my light armor even though the safe test run had proven successful.

I walked down the stairs and opened the door, checking the communal sleeping area non-Circle members shared and hoping that it would be empty mid-day like it usually was. Standing in the doorway I saw that no one was around luckily. Not so luckily, before I could enter I saw Vilkas turn into the hall and I hesitated enough for him to take notice of me.

"Everlee," he called, his authoritative voice demanding my attention. He looked like he just took note of my armor. "You're not wearing your armor. Was it damaged?"

I shifted my weight, fiddling with the letters in my hand. While it was somewhat common for Companions to wear light armor, it was typically seen as the weaker choice unless one was hunting game, something I wasn't known for doing.

"No," I responded.

"Then why aren't you wearing it?"

"No, I just thought that perhaps light armor suits me better," I said matter-of-factly, daring him to make some comment about me being weak or foolish.

"It does," he said. I tilted my chin to the side, trying to determine what he meant by that. "You're small and fast. Heavy armor never suited you."

"I'm not that small compared to normal-sized people," I said, indignantly.

I watched the right side of Vilkas's mouth twitch upward before he cleared his throat and said, "Regardless, that isn't what I wanted to talk to you about. You completed the job Kodlak gave you this morning?"

I nodded. I remembered how that morning had been the busiest in some time, each of us being given a job to do. I hadn't seen Farkas or any Circle member except Kodlak.

"Good," he said.

We stood in silence for a moment and I began fidgeting again. "Is that all? I can complete a simple task."

"Of course you can, but with recent events, I was -" he started but stopped abruptly. Straightening up, "It is good to see you've arrived back so soon. I also wanted to talk to you about -"

"Wait, were you worried?" I asked, unable to stop the grin off my face. Now that I knew that he wasn't questioning my basic ability to complete simple quests (such as three farmhands or a jilted love interest), I found myself amused. "I mean, after all those times you sent me to kill giants, assuring me you did so because you lacked utter faith in my ability to come back to bother you, you're worried now?"

My tone was teasing and as Vilkas's muscles tensed further I bit my lip to try to keep from grinning. "I always had faith in your skills and I sent you to fight giants to improve them."

"And maybe for your own amusement?" I asked.

Vilkas pressed his lips together and I could tell he barely managed to stop smiling and keep his face stoic as he said, "That too."

"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" I asked.

"I wanted to address what you said yesterday," Vilkas said, his voice serious and I felt the jovial mood fade as suddenly as it had come. "You said that I risked your life unnecessarily."

I shifted under his gaze, stopping him before he could get any further. "I was wrong. I was just upset and -"

"No, you were right. Being a Companion means that one is capable and honorable, that we have each other's backs as shield-brothers and sisters. I think that sometimes I may...let my own feelings about you get in the way of my better judgment," he said.

The last sentence repeated in my head, vague enough that I couldn't immediately determine what he meant by that. Which feelings did he let get in the way? His irritation toward me in the beginning? His feelings about my friendship with his brother? Was he saying that he put me in danger because he thought too highly of me? Or was he referring to some other feelings? I couldn't get a grip on Vilkas, perhaps only his brother could read him the way he read others.

"Still, I know you wouldn't deliberately put me in unnecessary danger," I said. "I was wrong. Like usual, I guess."

He breathed out a hallow laugh. Then his sharp eyes caught mine and held, my hands stilling. "I think you may be wrong about that," he said quietly.

Again I couldn't figure out what that was supposed to mean. The context seemed to be that he believed that he had risked my life two days ago unnecessarily despite me assuring him that it hadn't been the case. But the way he had said made it feel as though his words meant more than that.

"Vilkas! You're up and walking," Farkas said cheerily as the door opened behind me. "And Everlee's back, good. We can all have dinner together." We both turned to look at Farkas who was smiling broadly. "Do you need help up the stairs brother?"

"I am perfectly capable of climbing the stairs myself," Vilkas said, exiting the door and beginning to climb the stairs.

"You coming?" Farkas asked.

"Not yet, I have some letters I want to read first and then I'll be up," I promised.

Farkas smiled before turning to catch up to his brother who, if it had not been for his slightly slower pace, really did not appear to be troubled by his injuries as he climbed the stairs.

Finally I entered the common sleeping area and sat down on the small desk against my bed. The first letter was from Lynn, the letters drawn large and wobbly:

Everlee,

How are you? Constance has been teaching me to read and write and helped me write this letter. How is Jared? I have been saving money to get him a birthday present. Will you bring me to visit him for it or bring him here to visit then? I miss you both.

How is his training? I know he can be a good Apprentice but do you think he will be ready to fight then? He never fought much when he was living in the orphanage. Tell him I said hi.

I haven't seen much of Brynjolf lately. I think he has been out of town. He came to visit me once a couple of weeks ago though and I asked about you. I think he likes you.

Lynn

I grabbed a piece of paper and writing utensil and began writing back immediately, a smile on my face.

Lynn

I'm glad to hear you're doing well and that Constance is teaching you to read and write. I will make sure that you see Jared for his birthday. His training has been going well and I have no doubt he will have enough Companions to vouch for his apprenticeship position. He has grown quite a lot in the last six months and has grown taller than me (as he keeps pointing out). I'll be sure to tell him you said hello.

Missing you too,

Everlee

I had hesitated before finishing the letter. I wanted to tell her a bit more about my life here but I found it hard to think of anything to say that wouldn't worry her. And as for her mention of Brynjolf I couldn't imagine any way to respond to such a weird (to me) notion.

I had almost forgotten Jared's birthday in all the excitement of the last two days. While he had only been training for half a year, he showed promise. I wasn't sure how much skill he would need in two month's time or what test they would make him pass to join them, though. I doubted he would be given any real jobs, mostly training and cleaning swords and making deliveries for the Companions from what I understood, but it still worried me to think of him committing himself to them for six years.

I felt guilty thinking that. They were like family to me and I knew they would do whatever it meant to protect their charge from harm even when I wasn't around, but with the concept of war hanging over my head with the Silver Hand, I wasn't so sure. When Nadine had showed me the Contract, his name had been absent. That would change in two months and I didn't doubt the Silver Hand was above murdering a child.

But I couldn't mention any of that to Lynn, so I opened the next letter.

Dear Everlee,

I'm sending a letter to you with Lynn (she insists hers have her own envelope however). I miss having you around Riften even though you were only here for a few weeks. I have hired new people to help me work with children and placement and have set up a new orphanage in Solitude. If you see any children that could use our help, please make sure they find their way to us.

I told you before you left that I would tell you if there was any interest in adopting Lynn and I am happy to say there has been. I took some of my children to visit some of the nearby orchards and a couple who owned one of the farms took a liking to her. I have done an interview with them already and they seem very nice. I promised you that I would let you interview them first, however. They own Golde Apple Orchard just seven miles northwest of Riften and I told them to expect you soon. Please let me know if you are unable to visit them. Their names are Hannah and Jacob.

You should come visit us when you interview the couple. I'm sure Lynn would love to see you and I would like to catch up with you as well. Hoping to hear from you soon,

Constance

I leaned back in my chair. I was happy that Lynn had potential parents, that someone had saw in her what we had seen in her. It was big news and I knew that I would have to request the time to visit them soon. As far as I knew, no one had been sent to Riften this morning so it was possible I could pick up some minor jobs they might need done in that area as well.

It would be good to return to Riften. I could see Lynn and hopefully bring her good news about a new family. I could stop by the Thieves Guild to see if there was any way my armor could be fixed or replaced and it would be good to see Brynjolf again and get an update, if he were there. Even the possibility of having to face Mercer didn't seem so bad in light of the positives.

I had one letter yet to read, and hoped that it would be from Brynjolf, perhaps information about the symbol-person who had been threatening to destroy their – our – guild.

When I opened it, however, there was a black hand. Underneath were the words: Come to the stables at midnight.

I let my head fall onto my chest, my eyes closing tight.

"Everlee, are you ok?" Ria asked, and I opened my eyes. "Did you get bad news?"

"Oh, uh, no. Just tired. Good news actually. They found a potential family for Lynn," I said, folding up the letter.

"That's great!" she said. She went to sit down on her bed which was at the foot of mine. "So I heard you and Farkas went out the other day. How was your date?"

"I went to collect flowers for Arcadia and he decided to come with me after what happened," I said. "It wasn't a date."

Even as I said it I wondered: was it? It had been my task and I had completed it but did Farkas think it had been a date? What exactly did dates in Skyrim consist of? Not that I had any experience with dates outside of Skyrim but the fine dining and fancy dresses that suited Cyrodiil didn't seem like something I could picture the citizens of this land indulging in, especially not Farkas.

"Good. I mean..." Ria said.

"Ria, do you have feelings for Farkas?"

I watched her body still suddenly, her eyes unfocused on my bed which lie in front of her. Finally she moved, here gaze slowly coming up to meet mine.

"Yeah, I guess I do," she said. "But nobody knows about it and I'd rather it stay that way."

"I won't say anything, but no one else has noticed?"

"It isn't as though Farkas and I are around the others a lot and he's often busy. Circle members don't often take the same sorts of quests they give the rest of us so we don't always get a lot of time together."

"How long have you...?"

"A few years," she said. "He really helped me when I joined, really believed in me. I didn't really fit in with Njada and Athis and Torvar and so I mainly kept to myself and focused on quests until he started including me."

"And you never thought to tell him?"

"No, I didn't think I needed to. I think I assumed he felt the same way I did. I knew he was cheerful and happy toward everyone but I was the only female he spent so much time with and I thought...well I guess I misinterpreted things because he came out and told you he had feelings for you didn't he? I should have figured that's what he would have done," she said.

I got up, tucking the letters into my armor and sat down on my bed, facing her. "Maybe he has trouble telling what he's feeling for someone," I said.

"I think you're confusing him with you," Ria said jokingly. "No offense."

"None taken. But he told me himself that he didn't know how he felt about me until Vilkas talked to him," I said.

"Vilkas? His brother told him to ask you out?" Ria asked, completely confused and in disbelief.

I laughed. "No, the opposite actually. I guess he made Farkas aware of his feelings by warning him not to get involved with me."

"What? Why?"

I kept my face calm and steady, barely. The reason Vilkas didn't want his brother and me to get entangled was because the were werewolves. He was afraid I would hurt him by making him love something he would never truly have and that Farkas in turn would hurt me because of the beast within himself.

"Overprotective," I said. "And he's never much liked me."

"I noticed that," she said. "He's always been sort of standoffish but it was different when you joined. But he seems to be ok with you now mostly."

"Yeah," I said, but my mind had wandered off.

I thought of the Dark Brotherhood, of the Thieves Guild, and Vilkas's statement about what he and the rest of the Companions did to thieves and murderers. He had only just begun to treat me with less contempt, to accept me in his own way. What would he do if he found out the truth?

"I've actually never seen him talk to someone outside the Circle as much as he does to you," Ria said. "Strange, actually."

"It's because he liked to torture me, but I'm wearing him down," I said, attempting to snap out of my thoughts. "But we were talking about you. Maybe if you told Farkas how you felt -"

"And then what? He likes you. He's nothing if not loyal so if he still thinks he has a shot with you then he won't even consider me. It will just make things weird," she said. "Unless you told him you just wanted to be friends. Then maybe I could tell him how I felt."

I could hear the eagerness in her voice. She was clearly picturing that, hoping that I would step down and that her whole conundrum with him would be solved. And part of me wanted that, felt guilty for allowing my friend to sit on the sidelines hurting. I still wasn't sure how I felt, had only known him for half a year. But Ria knew how she felt about him, had known for years and I couldn't blame her for misinterpreting the situation. I wasn't good at figuring out others' romantic intentions myself.

But then I remembered sitting with him in that meadow, the way I had felt at peace sitting beside him. I felt safe with Farkas, whole. I didn't feel like my involvement with the other guilds was a threat or a betrayal when I was around him. I wasn't a Companion or a thief or a murderer, I was just Everlee, somebody he cared about. What if I did have feelings for him? What if I walked away because of fear or uncertainty and passed up the relationship of a lifetime with my best friend?

"Ria...I...I don't know," I said.

"Exactly. You don't know, and I do," she said. "Please."

I looked her in the eyes. This wasn't right, what she was asking, even if it did make sense in its own way. But telling Farkas I only wanted to be friends was a lie of sorts, I didn't know that's all I wanted. And what of his feelings? I could hurt him, even lose him as a friend if I wasn't careful, and there was no guarantee that Farkas did or would feel the same way about Ria.

"I think you should tell him how you feel," I said. "Let him decide how he feels. We aren't actually dating yet so it wouldn't be disloyal for him to consider his options."

"You know he won't!" Ria said, the usually calm Nord's voice rose.

"I don't want to hurt him."

"That's not a good enough reason to lead him along."

"I'm not leading him along!" I said, getting angry myself now. "I just don't know what I want yet."

"Well I do," Ria said.

"Even if I told him that I only wanted to be friends, it isn't as if he's the sort of person who would suddenly develop feelings for someone else," I said.

"You don't know him that well. And you said earlier that maybe he had feelings for me and didn't know it," she said.

"I doubt he'd be more aware of it while he was hurting over me turning him down."

Ria shook her head, angry. She sat still for a minute, looking down at her bedsheets. Finally, still without looking at me she said, "You're right. But Farkas knows he likes you and he knows he wants to be with you. So you should figure out what you want and act on it soon or you'll be the one in my shoes."

With that she got up and left. I took a deep breath and headed toward the Meadhall. It was going to be a long night.