For my readers: Thank you for all your reviews. I was happy to receive so many encouraging reviews. Some had written about the characters not being true to the story. I would like to state that this story is an inspiration from the book and many variations I have read over the years. All the characters do not behave in the same way, as in the book. If you notice in my writing, Darcy has a conversation with Elizabeth in the library, but in the book, he does sit with her for half an hour without uttering a word. Some circumstances like these will be different in this story and characters will behave differently, plot will differ. I welcome your comments and will work on anything that needs more attention in my writing. Each of your reviews helps me get better. Thank you. Stay safe.

Chapter 4: Apology not accepted

Sleep neither came to Darcy nor Elizabeth that night. Elizabeth tended to Jane the whole night. Jane's fever seemed to rise in the night and broke only in the early hours. Elizabeth was concerned and hated to see her Jane suffer thus. She sent away the maid who offered to stay with Jane in case Elizabeth wanted to sleep. She could not even think about resting.

Darcy could not sleep as he wanted to speak with Elizabeth as soon as possible. He stayed in the library for a little while longer and then decided to retire. Sleep didn't come. He wanted to apologize to her at the first light. He tossed and turned, and kept thinking. Why does it hurt so much to know that she does not like me? Why does it make me feel so restless? Have I already fallen in love with her, or can I save myself even now? His mind did not keep calm, till the break of dawn.

His valet sensed he was restless. Darcy dressed quickly and went to the breakfast parlor. He thought Elizabeth may have come down. He was disappointed to see no one there. The Bingley's were not early risers. He was surprised to see Charles enter the room.

"Bingley, I have never seen you come down for breakfast this early."

"Darcy, I woke early to check on Jan…. Errr.. Miss Bennet."

"Oh! I see. How is she fairing?"

"Darcy, Miss Elizabeth told me just now that her fever broke in the early hours. She is sleeping now. I won't feel satisfied till I see Miss Bennet myself man. I can't bear the thought of her being sick for two days."

Just then Elizabeth entered the breakfast room. She had met Mr. Bingley outside Jane's room and informed him of her condition. She could see Mr. Bingley very much cared for Jane, he looked extremely concerned and more than once his eyes looked at Jane's door longingly.

Elizabeth had contemplated about getting a tray sent to her room rather than going to the breakfast parlor. She wanted to avoid seeing Darcy. How long can I avoid him? I am here to stay under the same roof as him, I cannot hide from him forever.

She decided to go down for breakfast.

When she entered, Darcy immediately noticed how tired she was. She looked drained and there were dark circles around her puffy eyes.

He locked his eyes with her. She looked at him for a second and then moved to fill her plate. Once she was at the table Darcy asked her, how her sister was doing. She replied that there is not much improvement in her, but that she was asleep.

He ate in silence, with Bingley and Elizabeth carrying on a decent conversation.

Darcy noticed Elizabeth slip outside for a walk after breakfast. He followed her into the gardens. She was indeed a fast walker; she reached the edge of the gardens in no time and was into the woods surrounding Netherfield. Darcy almost ran after her. She saw her near a tree, bending down and taking a few autumn leaves. She looked beautiful as ever. If he had not the agenda of apologizing to her, he was sure his mind would have tricked him to propose to her.

Elizabeth sensed a movement behind her and turned swiftly. My God this man cannot just leave me alone. She thought.

Before she could say anything, Darcy started his well-planned speech.

"Miss Elizabeth, I followed you out from the house to talk to you. I have to apologize to you for what happened at the assembly. I had no idea you heard my comment."

So, if I do not hear it the next time, you will slight me again. She thought.

She wanted him to talk. He hardly seemed to be a man who could express himself. She wanted to hear him out.

"Miss Elizabeth when I attended the assembly I was not in the best of spirits. Bingley forced me to attend and was forcing me to dance with you. I was frustrated to be spending that evening with people who were so beneath me in status and manners. I hardly enjoy such company and I cannot disguise my feelings and act charmed."

Elizabeth was shocked. People beneath you? Who on the earth do you think you are?

Darcy positively misunderstood Elizabeth's silence. Ah! She never expected me to apologize to her. Indeed, she must be shocked and feel happy about this.

"My comment was never meant to reach your ears, Miss Elizabeth. Please forgive me. I hope we can be friends."

Elizabeth couldn't be silent anymore.

"Mr. Darcy. I am indeed surprised by this apology." Darcy smiled knowingly.

"I am surprised that you can apologize with such insincerity, I wonder why you would apologize at all."

Darcy glared. What is she trying to say?

"You seem to apologize for what you said only because I heard it. So, I come to understand that if I had not heard it, you would have been satisfied with your words that day."

"Miss Elizabeth that is not true. I apologize for my words as well. I want us to be friends."

"So now you now apologize just to be my friend?"

"You seem to willfully misunderstand every word I say." He said, angrily.

He had enough. She should be feeling gratified to get an apology from a man of his status. He had been kind enough to offer it to her. What else could she want from him?

"Then sir you should speak in such a way that people don't misunderstand you. You stated that you don't enjoy being in the company of people beneath your status. But you want to be friends with me. I belong to the same circle of people whom you claim to be beneath you, sir. You seem to think your apology for slighting me would alter all my feelings towards you. But you must understand even before you made that comment about me, I had formed my ill opinion of you. You may be a man of ten thousand pounds a year and innumerable wealth all over England, but that does not give you an advantage to insult people who are not as wealthy as you. I saw you move away from Mr. Lucas as he was just starting his conversation with you. You just refused to give that man a chance, just because you looked at him with your pride and condescending attitude towards the less wealthy in riches and rank. I saw you stand the whole night without dancing with anyone, when so many young girls were waiting for a partner. But you could dance with Mr. Bingley's sisters. Why sir? Just because they have a wealth they acquired recently from trade? You must understand Mr. Darcy the people in Hertfordshire may lack fine manners and wealth. But they would never imagine looking down at a human being in a disgusting way like you do. So, I would better be friends with a gentleman in my lower circles, rather than being friends with you who may be in the so-called upper circles, but in my eyes not a gentleman." Her eyes gleamed with anger.

Darcy's face turned white. She refuses to call me a gentleman. I think I should not be a gentleman for once and make her statement true.

He moved one step close to her. Elizabeth was scared, she knew she had gone too far. She had accused him of not being a gentleman. She had meant it in a way of his behavior and not his character. She felt guilty not to have said it in a more subdued way. She saw Darcy step close to her and gulped.

Darcy was merely a foot away from her, he was in an emotional state he could not fathom. He wanted to pull her into his arms and say that he loved her. Yes, he knew now that it was love. He couldn't be affected so by any woman without his heart belonging to her. He couldn't believe it. All these years of fending away mercenary woman, he realized he had finally found one who didn't care for his wealth. His Elizabeth challenged him in more ways than one. She accused him of so many things. Yet he couldn't just walk away from her. He wanted to wipe all the ill feelings she had on him and replace it with love. But he could not do that by compromising her into accepting him. He had to win her love, respect and esteem. For that to happen he had to step away, step away immediately and show her that he could be a better man than she had thought him to be.

Elizabeth stared fiercely at Darcy. She was overwhelmed by her conversation. Her sleep-deprived mind was making her head throb. She was beginning to feel light-headed. Just when she thought she would collapse into Darcy's arms, he spoke.

"Forgive me for taking up so much of your time madam." And walked away.

She collapsed into the ground. And cried. Why am I crying, he deserved everything I said? But she knew that she had wounded the man. Insulted him and angered him. Suddenly she realized it. She was far away from the house, he could have taken advantage of her and compromised her, she would have been helpless. But he did not. He had behaved just how a gentleman ought to, she was the one who had behaved like an irrational prejudiced woman.

She cried her heart out in the woods. Jane being sick and an unwanted argument with Darcy distressed her beyond measure. She wished she had toned down her accusation and never antagonized the situation. She was angry with her mother for sending Jane on horseback, that was the reason why she was stuck at Netherfield. She looked at the building at a distance. She never thought she would miss Longbourn so much, ever in her life. She wanted to go home and never set foot on Netherfield again.