A/N: Demon Slayer, edgiest fiction since scythe weapons!

TheAwesomess1: Glad to hear back from ya :D missed ya, fam!
NetherOrbit: Yuuki, git gud.
Thunderwolf: Jack o' Lantern Wick is always watching...
Doctor: If you kidnap my hermit crabs one more time, I will punch you in the neck :)

Special thanks to , Alluke, as well as Striderm8 (hope your stories are doin' well!) for favoriting this imperfect fiction. With luck and dedication, I might just make something worth writing original fiction out of.

Enjoy!

In the forests of floor three, you'll learn quickly of the region's civil war. A kingdom of Wood and Dark elves fight here, mostly for dick measuring now. Seriously, their fighters don't recall what started it. West side belongs to dark elves, east to wood. Considering how large their battles are though, I'm still unsure how no side's won yet.

Simply put it, be careful where you're walking. Bear traps and pits aren't uncommon away from roads.

-Argo, Beta Tester's Survival Guide. December 15th, 2022

November 15th, 2022 - Garr

A barbell's jingle drove me to push, chest fibers stretching as I slowed its descent, arms lightly shaking. Three forty fives on each side, three hundred and twenty pounds of metal pressing down.

"One for the Commandant." I huffed. "One for the Corps. One for Chesty Puller. One for Audie Murphy!"

Sweating and breathing, I forced it up another six times before racking. A wave of heat flowed through my gut, a smile barely contained as arms shook. Cable crosses came next, cords replaced with rope of a hearty thickness. Yanking both ends towards my center, my pectoralis striated, cables of muscle bulging to form a fissure between muscle and sternum.

My chest burned while sculpting, crossing the minigame's [Threshold] again. Despite this, I was left with a stiff jaw. All of this did nothing past increasing [Strength] stats. My real body was laying around somewhere, shrinking from a lack of exercise and nutrients. Staring past trees, a cold swept through my core. I was shrinking, I was gonna be tiny again. My wrists shook, how could I walk in public looking so thin?

Eight o clock, Demedi according to Heathcliff, fantasy Wednesday. Level six, told him I'd make it happen, had to keep practicing my swings though. Wherever my Zweihander flew, it proved difficult to slow, forcing me to either fly with it or redirect, a problem no one else seemed to have. Switched between lifting and swinging, the latter at a much slower speed to get precise motion. Heard someone step through what snow lined outside, stopping nearby.

"You lift zhat much?"

A glance revealed Kuradeel, calm as ever in his chainmail. Standing tall as a small tree, his own shadow stretched past me.

"Morning." I smiled weakly. "I'm lifting what I could about...five days ago. Problem with having such a physique, you have to treat it every single day or it'll atrophy."

"Mm...vell zhere's a reason to moderate."

I almost rolled my eyes. Course he wouldn't have to worry, he's six foot three or whatever.

"Anyvay, are you gonna join zhe assault team? Ve could use zhe muscle."

"Uh, I don't know." I shrugged, a grip on my gut squeezing.

"Vhy not? You're already villing to help beat zhe cult."

"I have my reasons." I closed my arms. "If those cultists are out killing people, that's one thing. But I don't agree with the whole boss fighting thing."

"Oh?" his eyebrows joined.

"Evac's coming, getting ourselves killed when it's so close is impractical."

"I see. Never mind zhen."

Kuradeel turned away, obviously trying to guilt trip me.

"Everyone awake?" I said.

"Barely, most are begging for coffee while you're up and about."

"Can't say whether it's cause I'm hyper or cause of Anthem." I put my arms back, stretching my chest. "God, wish Heathcliff just...yea."

Kuradeel wouldn't understand, wasn't worth discussing. Anthem would never spare me, certainly not under most circumstances. Change's painful, too painful for most to handle by their own will.

"His choice, I prefer keeping quiet."

A get along type, fair enough. Nodding half heartedly I proceeded inside, our tower's space filled with a wood burning scent, its internal furnace lighting an otherwise dark place with a hard orange glow. Everyone was huddled up, discussing semi consciously, except Lisbeth. Greetings were exchanged, our straggler gripping her stomach as if pained. Leopon smiled, wrapped in a gray fur blanket. She was keeping a quiet discussion with a fairly stiff looking Heathcliff, whose droopy eyes stared blankly at a wall, Yuri prepping a pot of bubbling liquid.

"Gonna be heading over to Tolbana for some questing, gotta catch up with the rest of you."

"But you're already near my level." Leopon gazed keenly.

"Still five or six below Kuradeel." I said.

"Kuradeel makes this game look easy." Yuri glanced up. "If you've ever seen his matches back home, he has to slow down to avoid injuring others."

Didn't matter to me, I wasn't gonna be anyone's dead weight, not after yesterday.

"Heading out, anyone want anything?"

"Aye." Lisbeth said, rising from her spot.

Pillowy soft bits of shrapnel bounced in my stomach, was I gonna have alone time with her? A whiff of alcohol lofted from her as she dusted her plain brown trousers and top, my eyes blinking as result.

"Awesome." I grinned. "Two opfors with one round."

"Opfor...that's a strange way of putting it." Leopon said. "You some kind of soldier?"

"Nope, just a civi."

"He vas talking about zhe marines zhis morning." Kuradeel sat. "Least vhile lifting."

"Hm." Leopon brushed her blonde hair, pale eyes set on me. "Like tanks?"

"MBT's? Preferably on my side, I'm a boots on the ground kind of guy."

"Okay." she nodded.

"One second, Garr." Lisbeth said. "Gotta check somethin'."

"Ooh forgot to check our crops." I groaned. "Thanks Lis!"

"Seriously?" Leopon face palmed. "You were right outside, you could've looked."

"Yea, sorry about that." I frowned. "Memory."

"Long as we get some semblance of consistent growth rate we should be good, Leopon." Yuri said.

"Fine, but now I wanna talk about tanks...haven't finished building that T-34 and I hate it."

"Anyone else?" I surveyed. "Heath? You alright?"

Heathcliff sort of stared out, his age not lending well to a slumber on stone surfaces.

"Yes, just wondering right now what floor has coffee beans...Nishida wasn't in charge of level design so I'm stuffed."

"Still don't want him in here." Leopon shivered. "Hate spiders."

"And what, leave him in that cave?" Heathcliff said.

"Ew..."

Heathcliff got into a discussion about our tarantula bodied friend, wish I could've added to it. A creak of rusted hinges indicated Lisbeth's return.

"Yuri, the crops are about this high?" she said.

"Cool."

"Alright guys, hope I don't get shanked." I joined her, again smelling booze.

"You're just being paranoid." Kuradeel stepped in behind Leopon.

"Yep, just paranoid." I kept grinning, shaking my head. "I'm doin' just fine."

Breakfast was served shortly after, thanks to Yuri's gracious care. Was a simple hot soup, but appreciable nonetheless. Kept on gasping and smiling with every spoonful, his serving leaving my stomach warm like a fireplace. Afterwards, our departure was quick, snow cushioning us on our southern approach. Glancing at Lisbeth, a stronger odor of alcohol lofted, lending to me looking away.

"How'd you sleep?" I said.

"Eh, could've been better."

"Aw, how come?"

"Just scared. Worried somethin's gonna come by at night."

"Hey, that's why I sleep first floor." I shouldered my Zweihander. "First response, last one out."

"Wait, aren't ya scared of bein' snuck up on?"

"Oh definitely." I laughed. "But see, I feel pain. That means I can act as an alarm in case someone decides to try go for 'easy bait'."

"But you'd get hurt."

"I've had seven kidney stones in my life. Bunch of pussy asses like these'll just piss me off."

"Ah."

Leaving for town, a sort of friction grew in my chest. We were scaling down our mountain pass, so I got a view of our altitude, much to my chagrin. Lisbeth followed behind closely, even when I adamantly opposed slowing her down. Still, she stayed back, clearly slowed to a sleepwalk thanks to me. Acrophobia didn't change, not even when my competence as a man was at stake. Kept clinging left, my hands clutching a natural wall of stone, my shoes scraping against gravel.

"How about you?" she said. "You still enjoyin' that blanket?"

"Oh yes, I thanked you for that right?"

"Ya did, just makin' sure."

Kept facing forward, didn't want Lis seeing how embarrassed I was, or catching whiff. Silence fell between us, my shoes skidding on loose gravel, hands gripping rocks with coiled fingers.

"So how's Leopon? Pretty, isn't she?"

"She's okay."

"Eh?"

"She's got no meat, a hug from me would kill her. Why?"

"Oh nothin'." she laughed.

Sure seemed a bit directed. We scaled down further, nearing Nishida's cave. Poor guy, stuck in there without anyone to talk to.

"Are ya alright?" she said.

"Damn right I'm okay." I throatily laughed. "Why worry?"

"It's just yer clingin' to the wall like a cat."

"Mm." I pressed lips together. "Guess it'd be a 'no shit' scenario if I told you, but heights and I...ya."

"It's okay, mate. Tell ya what, I'll keep ya from fallin'."

"Not sure how you're gonna do that, but alright." I nodded slightly, moving again. "So what're you heading for?"

"To get blacksmith skills, was what I did in the last MMO I played."

"Ooh, thought you were going for quests." I looked down our descending trail. "Least you know what you're doing."

"Eh, whatcha mean?" she skidded slightly.

"I'm worried about my team."

Wind grazed by, dammit was only half way down!

"Why? We've got Kuradeel and Heathcliff."

"Their skills are nice, but their mindset." I shook my head. "They're still pretty civilian, not good for a combat environment."

"But yer a civilian too, ya said so."

"Not by choice, was gonna be a marine if it weren't for a pencil pusher's decision."

"Oi, that's cool! What job?"

"Force Recon, infantry." I grinned while marching. "Still would too."

"Oi, why would ya go there though?"

My chest tightened, pressing my lungs.

"That'd take a while to explain."

"But people die in battle, they get hurt."

"It's all about how we go, not when." I nearly slipped again, shoes scraping as we climbed down.

"Shouldn't that mean ya consider yer life then? Wastin' it like that."

"Yea." my eyebrows relaxed. "Look, I'm just worried they won't be mentally ready. That's all."

"Mm, I see."

After half an hour of descending, we made it down. Crossing our local lake, however, Lisbeth tapped my shoulder.

"Yes?"

"C-Can we talk? Please, it's d-driving me crazy."

Her voice was suddenly shaken, her eyes wet and hands raised as I turned fully.

"What's wrong?"

"Ya gotta promise me to keep quiet about this. Cause if word gets out, I'm runnin'."

My arms flexed, hands clenched.

"I'm not saying a word."

Lisbeth ushered me over to a tree, curling up against it before crying.

"Leopie, she was so mad. I-I told her, I didn't mean it."

Her tears landed on lush grass and dead twigs, my own eyes getting wet.

"Didn't mean what?" I said, my tone lightening.

"Garr, I'm so sorry. I took yer sword." she hid her face. "I'm so sorry for tellin' Anthem! I didn't know."

My throat clenched, head cocking back.

"Excuse me?"

"He tricked me, askin' me where ya were." she sniffled. "Was actin' like he was a friend, so I told him."

A cold wave washed over me, eyelids drooping.

"Oh."

"It was killin' me, mate."

Forcing internal frost out, a chuckle escaped, shoulders bobbing as I lurched.

"Yea, it was killin' me too."

Slapped my knee, trying to wipe away what dark moment I was reminded. Her red face and wiping hand shook, staring at me.

"Why're ya laughin'? Ya almost died!"

"Cause I can?" I smiled. "If I didn't try to find something funny out here, I'd go mad."

Simmering down with a soft exhale, I wiped my brow, Lisbeth's odor reminding me to lean away.

"That being said. Why'd you take my weapon?"

"I was...gettin' back at ya."

"For what?" My shoulders raised. "What'd I do to deserve that nightmare? Cause that's not cool."

Lisbeth recoiled, eyes averting.

"Laughin'...at me accent."

"Right, like I'd ever make fun of my favorite accent." I simmered.

"It wasn't worth it." Lis shook her head. "It was just an innocent-." she looked at me. "Wait, what?"

"Scottish is my favorite accent."

Didn't know what I exactly did, but Lisbeth's expressions straightened, mouth open for a second.

"Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" I crossed arms.

"I was scared of Leopie."

"The hell's she got to do with it? Blondie's never liked me."

Lisbeth spoke of what happened after I slept, a detailed report of a midnight execution spilling out of her between sobs.

"Family's gotta be protected, I agree with her on that." I leaned on one side. "But I'd mark it down as unfortunate circumstances, rather than actual intent."

"Ya forgive me then?"

"Yea, just don't hide my weapon again."

"Thank you!"

She raced up beside me, continuing our journey. Heathcliff was right about how close we were to Tolbana, took only an hour to arrive at a town whose walls were...splotched with [Spears]. Seriously, everywhere I looked there was battle damage. Players and [Town Guards] shared a jerky motion, barely keeping eye contact as we passed.

"Ilioc's sent orders, should be getting reinforcements today." a guard worded.

"Oi, hold up a sec."

My boots rustled, eyes turned to Lis.

"Ya really think yer gonna get any quests lookin' like that?"

I raised a finger to object, pausing before I spoke. My clothes were filthy, splotched with grit and mud from collar to shoes.

"Under normal circumstances, I'd call you out." I tilted my head, lowering my finger. "But ever since the bots got smart-"

"Hey, gloves!"

Witnessing [Town Guards] approach, I quickly discarded my leather covers. Was already forgetting these people's strangely honed vigilance towards hidden hands. Lisbeth nodded towards a building nearby, 'House of Purity Bath'.

"Too long, didn't say, I get it." I finished.

"Get clean, I'mma get the messages."

"What?" I paused.

"Shoppin', gettin' stuff, ya know."

I nodded to Lisbeth, leaving for hygiene's sake. Stepping through white double doors, a waiting room was made apparent, with a peculiar clerk standing behind a counter of well polished wood. A long gown of white, decorated by gold symbols, a cone shaped hat resting over his scalp, embroidered in all manner of exaggerated wealth.

"Good morning, ungeared." he bowed lightly. "Have you come to be baptized?"

Stopping to stare at him, an eyebrow was raised.

"You're a few years too late, to who?"

"Deus Cel, of course. Evil things attack our walls, yet you don't seek His wisdom?"

"Nope. How much for a bath, sir?"

Whoever this priest was, he wasn't terribly pleased by my reply.

"Cel has brought us many blessings, ungeared. His miracles have cured us of diseases, curses."

Wait, curses? Shit, maybe that'd remove [Ares]. But did I wanna get rid of it? I'd have to think that over.

"I'm glad he's done it for you, really." I rubbed my cheek. "I look like a hermit though, how much for a bath?"

"...very well. Fifty Cor, please."

I nodded, paying my dues. Depositing what was owed, I was whisked away in a blue aura, leaving me in an almost completely white room. Apparently communal baths were an option too, whoever made it a thing. A bubbling hot tub resided, central in the rented space, with a curious, glass framed rack placed along a wall. It was a showcase of different bars of soap, each with a unique scent. Varying in price, I immediately purchased a couple of standard bars. Disrobing and dipping, cleaning needed time.

Sun Dancer

Lisbeth

I drew a bottle, chugging brandy behind another building the second Garr was gone. Sighing softly, its fermented flavor settled, leaving me briefly scowling at my reflection. How long would it be till the others figured it out? My stomach twisted, I had to do something about it.

Roaming around for perfume, what he said about my accent had me overheating. Liked it, wasn't something I heard too often. He was simple, straight forward, though a bit dark. His eye color though, had a sweet, warm vibe. Finding a general store, I searched for something to mask myself with. Sadly, most of their options were fairly expensive, least really good, soft smelling stuff. Its cheapest was like, forty percent of my balance.

Buying it was like swallowing a brick whole. I wouldn't have to buy this if I didn't smell of drinks. If I didn't drink, I'd be so much better, but I'm not. Course a curling of my stomach left me wanting to swig again, biting my tongue as I walked out. No, I had to find and learn that trade. Approaching a nearby guard, I applied my mask, securing this fake shell, forcing out a smile, all while this thing tore away.

"Excuse me, where can I learn a trade?"

He looked down at me, whose shoulders looked tight as a virgin.

"Strange times to be looking, Ma'am. You can find guild houses south of here, just stay away from the north gate."

"Does it have somethin' to do with those spears?" I frowned.

"[Kobolds]. Illfang must've sent them. Wudramor was right, we should've just attacked them sooner."

"Oi, that's heavy." I bowed my head. "Thank ya, sir."

People of all sorts gathered here, best equipped ones I've ever seen at that. Decked in armor and a couple o' weapons each, I couldn't help but feel that me and my [Wooden Club] were wholly inadequate. Seeing how other guys were looking, I was starting to think sending Garr to bathe was a bad idea. Hurrying south, I kept my head low. Crossing streets, quickened steps had me wheelin' around, hand on my club to face who was behind me.

"Oh hi, Rika. Long time no see."

A wave of heat rushed down my back, my chest internally crushing. Mutsuki, lookin' rather unchanged, her pseudo-friendly smile ever present. Thin as a bird, though changed to increase 'certain' measurements. Exceeding me in height, she tilted her head, hands cupped low.

"I'm so happy to see you! Ooh, nice perfume."

I smiled, slipping hands behind my back.

"Good. How's the boy?"

Her loveless, burning black eyes flickered, pacing around me.

"Loving me, that's just a fact."

Ugh, she was still saying those four words.

"Was gonna say I should help buy your perfume, but I figured you'd just say no. Quick, are you a boy or girl?"

Yep, this was gonna be a long day. Kept walking south, hoping to find a guild house. A group followed her along, didn't recognize any of them. Topping it off, they seemed absolutely oblivious to our relationship.

"Mitsu, who's this?"

"Oh this is Rika, she was a friend of mine during high school. In fact it was during math that we met-"

Forced myself forward, no point in getting mad. Spotted a fairly large, ornate structure near Tolbana's southern wall. Aisles of small interiors, counters of wood and stone hiding craft behind thin walls. With a garden laid out in between, a few pillar supported bridges linked both halves, hammering, sawing, and soft hissing its ambience.

"I mean I tried to help her, but she refused. Always so rudely too, you should've seen her during biology."

If I kept ignoring her, she'd go away. My [Wooden Club] shook on my hip, wanted to whack her so bad with it.

"So what're you doing, Rika? Why haven't you answered my last question? Are you confused?"

"Rika does seem kinda rude." one of her friends said.

Kept my gaze straight, right hand clenching. Couldn't drink, not in front of everyone.

"Don't mind that, she's just a halfer."

"True, her nose's too big. Who'd her mother mix with?"

"Oh, a fat round eye, violent too. Don't worry though, Rika. I can set you up for a nice...six. Okay five for sure, but I'm shooting for it."

My left hand shook for a second, had to keep composed. Some aisles offered lessons in [Carpentry], Mitsu continuing to harass despite my gaze to nearby saws. Wasn't sure how this'd help my group though. [Jeweler] was real pretty, so I went up to its inhabiting clerk, who herself had similar goggles to Cogitant Yole. Or as I like to call him, Bishop yo-yo.

"Excuse me? Was wondering what a [Jeweler] can do."

She glanced up, quickly focusing back to her seated work.

"Well for one, we're not just ring-makers." She drew a long, dully colored crystal. "We appraise blessings left behind by Deus Cel." She placed it under a magnifying glass, adjusting lenses. "Hm, a [Glow Rock]."

"That's not what you want." Mitsu scoffed. "You wouldn't do that very well."

"Thank ya." I bowed my head to the jeweler, moving on to a neighboring aisle.

Here, a great belching furnace burned, a dark metal anvil residing nearby. Beneath a hammer's strike rested a glowing ax, wielded with hand and tong by a well muscled blacksmith. Something clicked in my head watching it, reminding me of those stress balls I used to fiddle with. Two people were standing nearby, clearly customers, boy and girl. Looking at her though my breath hitched. Her hands, they were like charcoal...

"Don't tell me you're thinking about that one." Mutsumi said. "You should be learning something appropriate, like cooking."

"Hey Lis!"

Second voice was definitely not Mitsu's, Garr was here. Holding up what looked like a square watermelon, his grin and nod put a ray of sunshine on my face. Thank you.

"Found the watermelon, hell ya!"

Turning to face him, Mitsu scowled slightly, arms crossing.

"Who're you?"

Garr turned to her, smile remaining.

"I'm a sunflower, mother trucker."

Mitsu's scowl softened, raising an eyebrow to him.

"What?"

"You heard me."

Her expression remained, glancing to her friends before reverting back to Garr. Was pretty clear his physique turned her off severely, like she was looking at a failed lab experiment.

"...you know her?"

Looking to her friends though, something clicked. Garr raising his shoulders, putting away his finding. His body shivered, muscles bulging as he pointed a finger, voice low.

"Why're you surrounding her? If this is a mugging."

"We're just friends, you her bodyguard?"

Garr glanced at me, eyes dim as he turned slowly towards her. A hand flew wide, their leader sent soaring into a wooden pillar with a loud thwack, her jaw struck purple in an instant. My legs jolted, heart stopping as she collapsed, her friends shaking. Oh my god.

"Mitsu!"

"I find your lack of understanding correctable."

They turned to each other, backs bent as their gazes ping-ponged between themselves and Garr. Oh god, why wasn't I doing anything? Why would I do anything? I should, Mitsu's a girl after all. Garr took her down without a minor discussion.

"Dude, do something!"

None stepped forward, a shouldering of Garr's weapon yielding to bulging eyes and soft retreat.

"Strong males, huh? My ass." Garr glanced back. "You got everything?"

"Um, I need me tools first." I said.

"Take your time."

He was smiling, his canines showing as he planted. Swerving to the tutor, I quickly ran through its dialogue, acquiring a basic set of equipment. Furnace, anvil, trough, hammer, my hands shaking as my mind twisted around. I needed a quiet spot away from here, somewhere to think this through. That's when I heard it, a weapon being drawn behind us. A woman in black had emerged, pointing a fairly thin sword at Garr.

"Like hitting girls, huh?"

Her harsh voice only further hardened Garr's expression, arms flexing.

"I'm not getting robbed again, white knight. Piss off."

She said nothing, drawing back as Garr readied his [Siege Blade].

"W-Wait, he didn't mean it!" I stepped between them. "She really did-!"

Garr stepped around me, circling with her as others cleared and gathered. Mitsu rose from her battering, examining her face.

"T-That man is out of control! Do something!"

Her avenging angel rushed at Garr, whipping her weapon, waving it as he tried repelling. His Zweihander sent a soft gust of air with each swing, audible as its edge bit wood. He swung constantly, only for her to duck, jumping forward and stabbing him in the ribs without pause.

"Agh!" Garr yelled, stumbling back, a new color soaking his green shirt and vest.

"Didn't like that, did you?" she raised her sword for a high stab.

His cry of pain pushed me in front, holding out my hands as this stranger approached again.

"Please! This was a misunderstandin'!"

She stopped, my kneeling view letting me see hazel eyes beneath her cowl.

"He attacked a girl, no man does that."

"Ugh...and no lady robs a man." Garr said. "God, why'd that hurt so bad?"

She tried stepping around me, only for me to inch around.

"Please stop. We need him." I gazed back at Garr. "Put it away."

"I'm not putting myself at her mercy, tell her to step back."

He coughed, gasping as he stuffed fingers where she hurt him. Whoever Mitsu's heroine was, she silently sheathed her weapon while stepping away, a white sleeve and red skirt revealed from her cloak's sway. To my shock, Garr just got up again, grunting and lurching, but standing.

"What happened here?" she said.

"She had a little gang with her." he said. "God, ow."

"He made a mistake!" I said.

"H-Hey, why're you defending him, Rika?" Mutsuki said. "That animal's evil!"

Others spoke in quiet tones, criticisms lofting thick as I poked Garr.

"Fuck Asuna, you're really a pain to keep track of."

Another guy emerged from a passing crowd, walking with a light scowl and raised chin. Towering, he was lean as a slim jim, his chin looming over her head. Topped with short cropped hair and dark green clothes, he grabbed Asuna's attention almost immediately, who looked to him with a softer expression.

"Calm down, Tai. Was fighting off a bully...least I thought."

Mutsumi stormed off, pointing a shaking finger at me, mouthing 'You'll pay!', leaving me staring again. What should've I been feeling, happy, mad?

"Really?" he looked down at Garr. "Asuna, he looks like a wife beater."

"And you look like a wife." Garr winced.

Tai's nostrils flared, staring unflinchingly at him.

"Yo boss man, what's happening here?" another said.

A man shorter than Tai approached, better muscled, but still much thinner than Garr. With spiky hair and broad shoulders, his martial arts class apparel stood him out.

"Well uh..."

Tai's eyes honed on me, his chest projecting.

"What'd he do to you?"

"Me, oh nothin'." I stepped back once.

"Goddammit, Tai." Asuna tapped his shoulder.

"What?"

"Ugh, never mind." she looked to his newest friend. "Guy attacked girl, I'm dealing with it."

"What kind of pussy ass bitch does that shit?" his friend's face brightened with red.

"Seriously, this much trouble for defending myself?" Garr splayed limp hands.

"Oh so you did that!"

Asuna tugged me aside, crossing arms when we found a quiet corner.

"What happened?" Asuna turned back to me. "Your friend's leaving impressions."

Explained as much as I could, though quickly diverting the conversation to our goal.

"So we're gonna be taking the fight to their home. Garr's gathering quests to get leveled and end it."

"Asuna?"

Tai approached, constantly glancing my direction.

"I'm sorry for getting in your way, could you please hit him again? He's already forced me and Yuse to hold Aigen back."

"No." Asuna shook her head. "In fact, pack up. We're coming with them."

"What?" Tai's brow wrinkled. "With this guy? I mean, I don't mind traveling."

Walking around them, I found Garr with a dark expression, aimed towards Aigen.

"If they know where their leader is, we can end this." Asuna said. "I'm sick of losing people. We've lost another fifty in three raids today."

"True, hey uh?" he called to me. "I'm Taiyama, what's your name?"

"Lisbeth." I bowed. "And he's-"

"I couldn't give less of a shit. If he hurts you though, call me."

"Asuna." Taiyama's friend bowed. "Loud one's Aigen, our archer's named Yuse."

Garr was virtually invisible, not earning even a glance from our newest allies as he lurched.

"We set up camp west o' here, up those mount'ins." I said.

"The heck's with your voice?" Taiyama blinked. "Sounds really off."

Froze for a second, couldn't let comments faze me like this.

"She's got a Scottish accent." Garr coughed. "Careful, they don't raise maids."

"...she's Japanese, and I wasn't talking to you."

"Aye, that I am." I leveled my chin. "Anyway, just a wee bit up there ye'll find a tower. Our plot's there...but we need to train. Crazy gits are level twelve or somethin'."

Plans were made, deciding it was due time for us to head back before Garr got himself a few more pokes.

Sun Dancer

- Garr

A [Frenzy Boar] shattered to glass, healing only my physical injury. Joining beside Lisbeth, I found it difficult to walk. A stomach knot left me almost drifting, nausea taking firm hold. Couldn't admit it to Lis though, it'd make me look utterly pathetic, a weak link.

"Thanks for that." she said.

My legs stiffened for a second, wrinkling my brow as I glanced. It wasn't sarcastic.

"For what? Some of those guys said they won't go to you for business cause of me."

"Mitsu and I go back. Didn't think I'd meet her again though, shite wouldn't shut up."

"What exactly was she for you?" I straightened my lips. "Cause I got bandit vibes up to her neck."

"Think the right word would be bully? I dunno."

"Yea, then let me start with this." I exhaled. "Next time, would you please stand up for yourself?"

"Eh?"

She stiffened a bit, slowing herself.

"Listen, what I did back there, it wasn't okay. Stats or not, beating up weaker people is distasteful. I know it's my fault, I had my own reasons."

"Oh." she crossed arms. "Well, she had it comin'."

"Yes, but I reacted poorly."

"You were right though, stats make anyone a threat."

"Right, but it shouldn't change my morality."

"Don't worry about it, mate. Did ya get yer quests?"

"Yup, bunch of kill missions. Course it seems to be a sort of bounty thing, where I get money for every head I bring, rather than a definitive number."

"Ooh, so which mobs?"

"Wolves and boar. While they offered a fat reward for this guy name Allston, I figured I'd do that later."

"Fair enough."

A calmness swept over me, though I took it with a biting cheek. Why wasn't Lis judging me, it wasn't okay. Walking beside me, her previous odor was replaced with something stronger, my stomach twisting, getting me to look away more. God, if she wasn't so smelly, I'd look at her much more.

"Got a favorite superhero?" she said.

I rubbed my cheek, looking towards our mountain range as we hiked.

"I have a few heroes, but none of 'em are in comics."

"Oh? What's one of 'em?"

"Audie Murphy." I grinned. "One of the most decorated soldiers of world war two. Held back an entire company of German troops all by himself. Two hundred men, all of their equipment, alone."

My own recollection of Murphy left me laughing.

"Not only that, but he forced them to retreat, initiating a counter-assault by himself. Wounded, out of ammo, and lived."

Her mouth was agape when I glanced, repelled again by smell.

"Shite."

"If I could be anywhere near as badass as him? I'd die a happy man. George Patton, Chesty Puller, these are my heroes."

A moment of silence fell between us, its briefness broken by one fateful question.

"Well soldier, wanna know my favorite superhero?"

"Ya!" I said, continuing to walk.

Lisbeth's hand grabbed my shoulder again, whispering.

"It's Deathstroke."

A moment after uttering this name, she jammed a wet finger in my ear, my scream audible across all of Floor One. Oh my God, who was this girl?

Sun Dancer

November 16th, 2022 - The Committee of Agriculture

Harvest Lord Linus sat behind his desk, gray hairs swaying softly as he shuffled fingers between letters. All of his received messages had aged, without so much as a reply from beyond Castle Diebry. Drawing a map of their southeastern landscape, he fiddled with glasses before inspecting individual documents.

If these humans take down Illfang, it'd put the entire town at risk. The Inquisitors of Gundark will march right inside and condemn us for hiding General Ilioc. We're running out of time though, where are our reinforcements? Why hasn't Aramai responded?

A pair of heavy boots approached, stopping several feet from his desk.

"My lord, It is the Cogitant."

Linus looked up, his wrinkled face softening..

"Bring him in, but do not let him go five feet without an offered drink."

Escorted by three other [Town Guards], a man in a great white coat of gold embroidery entered, stopping beside Linus' door before taking off his pointed cap.

"Lord Linus, how goes business?"

"Troubled, like yours." he waved Yole inside. "What brings you here, Cogitant?"

Priest and businessman sat, their chairs creaking with a shared unease.

"By the blight, I've been hearing these terrible rumors regarding a baron of your tree."

"What do you mean?"

Yole drew Argo's [Record Crystal], giving Linus images of dining, Linus's face turned paler as matrices revealed consumption.

"Your house members are dining on [Swordfish]...something I'm sure you wouldn't wish the public saw."

"Where?" Linus growled. "Did Wudramor start this?"

"In the middle of eating it himself? Believe me, that would be stupid."

Linus's eyebrows rose, fingers pressed against his desk.

"You will do two things for us. Or I will make public relations...just a little toxic."

"What?"

"A, free prisoners Diavel and Godfree."

"But those prisoners are on investigation for treaso-!"

"B, you will give us living quarters within the southwestern quadrant. Or we'll release this and let the people decide what should happen."

Linus's hands clenched, shaking as he stared down at it.

"Why do you, members of the church have a sudden need for residences? Have you not made enough money off your 'services'?"

"Would you rather pay a small fee? Or face them?"

Linus sighed, rising from his chair.

"I've arranged for security to follow you...make sure you do as we ask." Yole uttered gently. "Do as you're told, and we won't reveal."

A [Kobold] is a biped of a distinctive rodent-like anatomy, tail and whiskers prominent with skin-masking hair. Lo, if one was to come and have at thee, thou would be under negligible duress. Such scrawny beasts lack strength, making for a laughable exchange in fisticuffs against even an average sedentary.

No, it is their cunning and intelligence thou must concern. Where [Kobolds] lurk, traps and tricks await. Hark, they would not be so foolish as to assault thee, leave such to their blow darts.

-Godfree, Beta Tester's Survival Guide. November 27th, 2022

A/N: Wet Willies, as easy to suspect as the Spanish Inquisition!

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