CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT
-The first year is always the hardest. Why does it have to kick off on the first NIGHT!?-
It was pitch dark when Victor twitched awake, woken from a light sleep by the buzz of a text message and a blinking, blindingly-bright cell-phone screen as it flashed against the wall. Yuri hadn't budged; Makkachin blinked and lifted his head from where he'd made a nest on a reclining chair. Blearily, the Russian reached an uncoordinated hand over the edge of the bed towards the nightstand, trying to find his phone in the dark. When he grabbed it, he rolled over onto his back, knee raised up to pitch a tent under the heavy hotel blanket. Blue eyes squinted at the blazing white light directly in front of him, but as his vision adjusted and the image became more clear, Victor rose to sit upright. He wasn't sure if he should be worried or angry at what he saw.
For one, it turned out the buzzing wasn't even coming from his own phone. It was Yuri's that he held in his hand.
Second...the message scrawled across the screen came from a name he hadn't expected to see.
Mikhail Rozovsky
[Congratulations, Yuri! I just saw the post on Victor's Instagram!]
Victor's eyes turned away from the screen and trailed over to where his partner had been sound asleep; he shifted a little under the blanket, but stayed unconscious, even as Victor reached over angrily to grab his hand. More specifically, his thumb. He pressed it to the sensor at the bottom of the screen and unlocked the device, giving him access to the archive of whatever messages had already been sent.
He paused a moment though as the phone brought up the text message chat window and gave a brief preview of what had recently been said. Nothing in the last few days at least, he'd noticed, trying not to read the actual messages. Part of him felt like he was already intruding too much...but another thought he deserved to know.
And so...he scrolled to the beginning, though it hadn't been far to go to find it.
Mon, Mar 06, 3:17PM:
[Are you still in St. Petersburg?]
[Victor?]
[No, this is Yuri.]
[Oh! Hey! Did Victor tell you to message me? I'm still in the city but I'm at the train station, about to leave.]
[Yakov gave me your information. Victor doesn't know I reached out.]
[Ah, I see.]
[Can I do something for you?]
[Yuri?]
[Can you stay in St. Petersburg for one more day?]
[Sure. What do you need?]
[I want to meet with you. Victor practices alone late in the evenings so I can get away without him noticing.]
[Where do you want to meet?]
[There's a cafe I can walk to. I'll link you the address. They're open late. Be there at 11pm tonight.]
[Okay.]
Fri, Mar 17, 1:28AM:
[Congratulations, Yuri! I just saw the post on Victor's Instagram!]
That was the end of it. His heart pounded in his chest, anxiety and fear creeping up in him. His left eye and cheek started to hurt a little, and the pain of the assault was new in his flesh again. A flash of memory played in his mind, and he saw the fist come down into this face again like it was the first time.
'[Don't be mad at him! I'm the one who took him to the skating rink!]' A woman's voice cried out, shrill and scared.
'[I told you to never let him skate again! How many times do I have to say it!?]'
'[You can't choose for Victor what he can and can't like!]'
'[I'm getting really good, papa! If you let me go to St. Petersburg, I can compete and send money home when I win! Coach Yakov says-]'
CRACK
'[Konstantin!]'
Screaming rose into the air, followed by sobbing.
'[He's not your coach! No son of mine is going to be a fucking dancer! You'll be working in the steel mill just like the rest of us!]' The bear bellowed furiously, spittle at the end of his mouth.
Tatiyana fell to her knees at her child's side, and lifted him carefully, though he screamed all the more with every touch. Tears fell from her eyes, and she gaped at her husband. Beside her, Yakov was crouched on a knee in the open doorway, and he looked up as well, '[He'll be more successful as an athlete, Konstantin...give him a chance. He has the potential to be-]'
'[Don't interrupt me, old man! This is my family and I make the decisions for what's best for it. Victor isn't going anywhere.]'
'[Victor, let me look-]'
'[My eye...mama, I can't...I can't see!]'
Victor could remember the sound of his own hysterical screaming like he'd been doing it again right where he sat. He cringed, trying to shake it off, and looked back at the phone in his hand. He crossed his legs under the blankets and looked at the touch-screen keyboard under the text window. His brow furrowed and his eyes narrowed...and then his thumbs moved.
[Why are you talking to Yuri behind my back?]
It was a moment before Victor could see the animated dots on the bottom left of the screen to indicate a reply being typed, and he felt a knot in his stomach when he saw them.
[Scroll up 2 inches and read it, Victor.]
[I already read it. You met behind my back and talked in secret. How could you?]
[He's the one who contacted me first.]
Victor growled at the answers.
[He's just trying to protect you.]
[Why are you so mad anyway? You seemed happy when I came by the rink last week. At first, anyway.]
[That's because you approached me in a place I felt comfortable. THIS is an overreach.]
[Again, he contacted me first.]
[Don't be mad at him for wanting you to have what he has.]
[What's that supposed to mean?]
[He was practically interviewing me when we met that night. He wanted to make sure that if he approached you with the idea of meeting with me again, that there wouldn't be any risk of your father being there, too. I told him I'd support whatever decision he made on the matter. I assume he hadn't come to that point yet, given how he apparently hadn't told you we'd spoken.]
Victor scoffed at the words, "You already knew where to find me by then. You wouldn't have needed to bring Konstantin with you again."
[He doesn't want you to be estranged from the entire family anymore, Victor. Why don't you want to give me a chance? We used to be so close.]
If it were his own phone, he'd have thrown it across the room and gone back to sleep if he could, but since it wasn't, he held it tightly and grit his teeth.
[I don't even have words to describe how angry I am right now.]
[Why would I WANT a relationship with you? You abandoned me. Your sister was the only one who stood up for me when my own father nearly blinded me, almost ending my career before it even had a chance to begin...and even THAT defense was short lived. Not ONE of you people reached out to support me after I left home. Not one letter, not one phone call! You were all as silent as the GRAVE. So that's what you all are to me.]
[Dead.]
[Not all of us knew what happened until long after the fact.]
[Am I supposed to forgive you for being ignorant?]
[I don't expect forgiveness. I MIGHT not even expect an apology when this is done. But I WASN'T THERE WHEN IT HAPPENED, REMEMBER? I had been gone for years already by then. How was I supposed to know? Your mother wasn't the only one your father terrified into silence. The entire clan was tight-lipped about what happened to you. Yuri told me about how you said your mother stopped returning your calls after you left home. You weren't the only one who lost touch with her.]
Victor had to read that comment three times over before it made sense, but even then, he couldn't thumb a reply. The dots popped up again anyway.
[I didn't know how to find you.]
[Did you even try?]
[Of course I did. I must've called every skating arena in the St. Petersburg and Moscow area trying to track you down back then, but no one said they knew you. Talking to you now, and having read so much about your exploits over the years...I can only imagine that you were right there in the background at one of those arenas when I was on the phone, and the person who picked up just didn't know and didn't care.]
[I tried, Victor. I swear on Tatiyana's grave. I tried.]
[You're my own flesh and blood, and my sister's only child. Don't just throw me out because it hurts to remember.]
[It's not just you I have to worry about.]
[Konstantin wants no part of this.]
[Of course not.]
[Do you want him involved?]
"ABSOLUTELY NOT." Victor found himself whisper-barking at the phone as he typed it in all caps.
[Fair enough...]
[You don't have to concern yourself with anyone other than me getting involved in all this either, though. My wife left me years ago and took your cousins with her. Most of the rest of the family is still in that little damn hamlet and have no real contact with the rest of the world.]
[So it's just me.]
He stared at the last message for a while, unsure what to say, if anything.
[I still love the little kid-nephew I left behind. I'd like to get to know the man he grew up to become. I'd even like to be able to explain why I left, and where I've been. But I won't force you to talk to me if you don't want to.]
Victor brought his hand up to his mouth and covered it for worry of making a sound that would wake his husband. Despite his anger, he could feel the sting of tears in his eyes, and choked back a few ragged breaths. I should be furious at Yuri for doing this...but I just can't get myself to do it. I just want to be mad at...him... He growled in thought, eyes staring daggers at the text window.
Makkachin came up to the side of the bed and whimpered at him, but the Russian paid his dog no attention. His hand rose up to his eyes instead, as though his fingers could force the tears back inside. But, they fell from his cheeks anyway.
"...Victor...?" Yuri wondered, and rolled up to sit beside his partner, having no idea what had happened, "What's wrong?"
"I don't want to remember." Victor answered, pain caught like a vice in his throat. He covered his eyes with his free hand and tried not to show what the conversation had done to him.
"...Remember?" Yuri repeated, confused beyond all reason. He then finally saw where Victor held the phone though, dangling from where he'd put his elbow over his raised knee. A boulder dropped in his stomach as he saw the text message window labeled with Mikhail's name, and hummed a breath of worry as he reached over to take it back. He looked at the conversation briefly, and typed a small comment, [It's Yuri. I need a minute.] He clicked send, and sucked in a terrified breath, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you..." He said regretfully, "I know it's not excuse... I wasn't sure when it would be a good time, so I thought I'd wait until at least after Worlds. I didn't even really mean to start talking to him... Yakov gave me his contact information the day Mikhail came to the rink with Kon. I was still debating whether or not to send the first message when Yurio startled me, and I must've hit the send button when I jumped and dropped my phone."
"So that's what it was. Yakov put you up to it. I don't blame you." Victor answered curtly, "He shouldn't have done that."
"...I thought I'd play along, and figure out what kind of man Mikhail is." Yuri explained mournfully, "I thought...if he was coming after you for bad reasons, he'd give up if he thought he had to go through me."
Victor hadn't had the courage to look at the man since he'd woken up, and instead, wrapped his arms around his legs and buried his eyes in the sheets above his knees, "And? He didn't say anything for a week."
"I can't say for sure after just one conversation." Yuri answered honestly, "But...he seems genuine."
"You think I should meet with him?"
"I don't think it would hurt to break bread and hear him out." He said simply, and rubbed his thumb along Victor's back to comfort him, "He doesn't have your contact information or our address, so if you ever get the feeling that he's sketchy...we can drop him, and I'll block his number."
The phone blinked in Yuri's hand, and he glanced at it to see Mikhail confirm the message prior.
"What should we tell him?"
Victor snuffled, and finally pulled his face up from where he'd buried it against his knees. He reached over to retake Yuri's phone, and looked at the lock-screen with the text reply preview. He rubbed his nose on the back of his wrist, "Can you unlock it?"
Yuri reached over and pressed his thumb to the sensor pad. He watched in nervous quiet as those thumbs started typing again.
[Do you want to come to Worlds with us?]