A/N: Demon Slayer, now shipping an OC with a possibly 74 year old man. Sorry Tai, it's been fun.

NetherOrbit: No king goes unguarded, Nether :3
Den3424: Loving your OC man, Taiyama and Aigen are great!
bitchbot: But :(...Haru's a good girl...
Doctor: Sounds like our guys need to git gud...

The House of Dryst consists of vastly different members than any of the other three noble names. Starting off as lowly naval captains, they acquired great fortunes by setting up trade, acquiring exotic goods, and otherwise exploring regions other houses would deem a waste of time.

Shame too, they disappeared from Congregate records after roughly the halfway mark of the Third Era. Godfree and I figured maybe it was famine, disease, or dating too many cousins, but we have no proof to suggest either, especially when marriage with lower classes was permitted.

-Argo, The Beta Tester's Survival Guide. March 22nd, 2023

November 19th, 2022 - Garr

Smoke puffed, my lone stick starting an ember in our dug campfire. Was only sunset, but wood was scarce. Tossing in grass, I surrounded it with rocks, leaving their largest faces tilted inward.

"Where'd you learn that?" Lis said.

I glanced, her smile looking strained.

"Dad, taught me in case I needed it. Provides warmth, lowers your light signature, and is easy to cover up when you're done."

"Ha, must be a smart man."

"Pf, that'd be an understatement," I smiled, nodding.

A blanket of stars slowly eclipsed, Aincrad's sun vanishing below an irritatingly flat horizon. Only Floor One's mountains offered any substantial elevation, though flying islands still wandered. Aincrad's moon rose, its pale effulgence sweeping over. My breath hitched as darkness returned, a hand on my side.

"Still feeling it?"

I nodded, crickets chirping away. Awing, Lisbeth scooted closer, examining it herself.

"Do you recall anything? Like, after?"

"Only that I was screaming." I shook my head. "God, that hurt."

"I...I can imagine."

I twitched, her fingers on it. A long pause brought her gaze towards dirt, hand returning to her lap.

"What're...your thoughts on Tai? Like, what he did?"

"Besides him being an arrogant half-wit? Nothing much."

"Mm."

"Why you ask?"

Lisbeth bit her lip, clasping fingers together, eyes on our campfire.

"You...weren't the one who killed Miakane."

"What?" I blinked.

"Nobody told ya?"

"This is all news to me."

"Aye, Tai did...well system said so. Came around and stabbed him while you were choking." she shifted her seat, exhaling. "He's been praised all around, even got a hunting job in the Church of Cel."

To this, I shrugged. Lisbeth's eyebrows raised, head tilted.

"Aren't you gonna get mad?"

Shook my head.

"If anything, I owe you an apology."

"For what?"

I sighed, hands heating and mouth drying.

"I didn't trust you."

Something gripped my throat.

"Well...I told you I'm not a fighter, didn't I?"

"You did," I gulped, "I think you're wrong, but it...it felt awful. Standing there yesterday, acting like I was the one who'd get stuff done. If I was such a badass, Yuse would still be breathing."

Silence fell again, my shoulders slumped as I let out a big breath.

"Heathcliff thanked me for what I did, but it still felt so wrong. I judged all of you."

An arm wrapped around my ribs.

"I think you're a bit too harsh with yourself, mate. I told you, I'm no fighter. I can hardly stand hurtin' things, would rather help 'em, build something."

"But Lis, if you hadn't fought, I'd be joining Yuse in a body-bag."

She went quiet.

"That's why I owe it mostly to you. I was wrong."

"Could you word it better?"

"Why? I'm complimenting you."

"I don't wanna imagine you in that, that's morbid."

"Alright, how's this."

Opening my throat with internal motions, I nodded.

"You saved my life. Thank you."

"Better," Lis smiled, "Can I ask you something?"

"My ears aren't ready."

"Don't tempt me," her smile turned wicked.

A warmth swept over me, a smile grown on my face.

"Why not?"

A bucket was raised, dropped over my head firmly.

"Cause physics answers to me, bitch!"

Not a second later, her wooden container shot up like a fracking rocket, soaring straight for Aincrad's sky like it was late for work.

"Jeez!" I almost jumped, Lisbeth giggling hysterically.

Watching it go, sight guided down to her.

"So, you're the one with the orbital buckets!"

She nodded quickly, chuckling as I floundered from her little prank.

"Yes, Batman," she said in a high voice, "I've tricked you into believing the Joker pulled something off this devious!"

"Pf."

Ended up spending a whole hour talking about what pranks we pulled on everyone, with her speaking most. Seriously, this girl was a devil in disguise. As time drew on, we simmered down, her eyes practically glowing.

"If someone says they can guarantee us a good future, saying how we'll run out of resources and overpopulate the world, how we'll cause our own extinction," Lisbeth said, "But as a price, he wipes out half of our population?"

I leaned forward, rubbing my chin for a few minutes. Raising a finger, it curled softly.

"I get where this argument stems from, but I don't agree with the solution. See, every time such concerns rise, we use technology to end it. We've done it many times before, there's no reason for me to believe we won't again."

"Huh," Lisbeth nodded slower, "Interesting. See, that's the ideology behind a popular villain."

"Reminds me, why super villains? Never got to hear from you."

A brief hem and haw brought back her gaze.

"Well for one, they're ambitious, uncompromising, powerful. I dunno, world domination's always been a fascination of mine. Course I can't say that now, people would get weird."

"You kidding?" I smiled, "Somebody's gotta get crap done. Why not go big?"

"Right?" Lisbeth leaned closer.

"Make your own rules, laugh when things go as planned. Stand there, knowing everyone has to band together if they wanna take you down."

"Ya!"

Talking away, it was a pause from her, a sudden drop of her smile that ended it. Heading swiftly for sleep, it left me perplexed, but thankful later. I knew me, I had to back off before I did something stupid. Lisbeth was long distanced. Everything going on would end as soon as we got freed, we'd be nothing but a footnote.

November 20th, 2022

Teeth, eyes, wriggling in me, those fingers wouldn't go away, nor that thing's lights. Waking up to an alien world for what had to be the tenth time, my face lost all warmth, sweat covering. This was thankfully easy to hide thanks to our dimming campfire and Lisbeth's slumber.

Picking around my nails, I kept observation. There we were, two people alone in God knows where, sleeping outside like hobos. It pissed me off, we shouldn't have to live like this. What if we didn't? What if I could take over a territory, give ourselves a warm place to sleep in? I had strength, so medieval society was on my side. Would stay up all night too, no one's gonna sneak up on me. Not gonna fail again. Decided to continue my poem, as nothing wandered this patch of savannah. Least nothing I could make out from up here.

Don't ever tell yourself you can't
Outside our minds rest enough obstacles
New problems to be solves arise every day
To say you can't creates more

Life's infinitesimally short
In moments of levity we forget this
Embrace yourself

Little was written more, my ability to concentrate disappointingly feeble. While I tried repeatedly, nothing of substance emerged. What was that thing in my dreams? What kind of drugs did I take before sleeping? No dream I've had ever thrown such a bizarre creature.

As night darkened to its dimmest, a chilly gale blew in. Lis was struggling to keep warm in her thin sleeping bag. Scooting off my spot, I checked the ring of rocks surrounding our dying fire. Hot, their dense structures managed to store heat pretty well. Keeping a light grasp, I encircled her bag with them, placing some beneath her, tucking them in to spread warmth. Lisbeth tossed a bit, but soon gravitated towards her new foundation, a soft breath leaving. Seeing her settle, I got a warmth in my chest.

She deserved compassion, much more than I did. Just cause I couldn't be with her, didn't mean I couldn't make her days easier. I said nothing of it as morning arrived, getting my workout done before we traveled out. She kept looking around, eyes all wide, fingers bobbing in her pockets.

"Something?" I said.

"I...need a minute to myself."

Thankfully with our backs to a mountain, rocks were ubiquitous. Finding one roughly equivalent to a minivan, Lisbeth wasted no time hiding behind it. Standing with my back to it, her breathing got louder.

"Where'd I put it?"

"Crap, nothing..."

A few moments later she emerged, hands staying within pockets.

"Sorry, sorry, I'm slowing us down."

"How?"

"Oi, never mind." Lisbeth dusted herself. "I'm ready."

Beneath her brown trousers I saw them, appreciable in their twin motions as she walked. Lisbeth always had a meatier figure, something Asuna and Leopon seriously lacked. While they were both good looking, they weren't her. Had a great rack on her too, despite wearing modest clothing. Watching her glancing and fidgeting for hours though, I wondered what was going on. If any hint stuck with me though, it was a lack of odor.

A lone tree was spotted further north. Unlike Floor One, these plants had flat beds of leaves, mushrooming networks of branches, concentrated off a single big trunk. Good thing we found it too, this place was getting hot as a used rifle barrel.

"Hope there's more shade, ugh my head."

"Lis, is there something on your mind?" I said, "You seem distressed."

"I'm fi-" she turned.

Her eyes fixated lower, lips dropping before veering towards the tree. Without any assistance, Lisbeth vaulted its branches, climbing it so fast, I lost track of thoughts.

"Um, damn," I stared up, "Was gonna say-"

An array of scurrying locomotion silenced me, body turning. A low, rounded mass raced towards me, horn raised with dust kicking off its shiny frame.

"The hell?" I bent knees.

Tried jumping aside, but it tackled me down like a rusher, its horn battering my chest.

[HP: 87%]

Lisbeth cried out, my leveled gaze spotting mandibles...rowed in sharp hooks. A brick lodged in my stomach, forehead cold.

"Nope!" I threw myself back, hands scraping dry dirt, boots scrambling to return to stature.

Lunging forward, this insect latched right onto my shin, tugging and tearing it up like paper through a shredder, my whole body jolting as a new burn sparked.

[HP: 76%]
[You are bleeding!]

My choked scream had me launching and limping, gripping my calf as red soaked my hands, dirt stinging harshly, kicking the beetle back with my remaining good leg.

"Dammit Lis, back me up!"

"B-But I'm scared of bugs!"

"Goddammit!"

Zweihander summoned, I launched my bad leg up before swinging down, stupid insect waddling over to me. Crashed against its shell, my weapon shook violently, wobbling with a loud ring, my stomach dropping as it rattled.

"What?!" my eyes bulged.

Damage against it was minimal, its shell was like stone. A [Red Spotted Beetle] swerved and lunged again, crashing into me like an angry rhinoceros. Jumping aside did nothing, its ability to turn was unnervingly smooth, going again moments later.

"Lis, it's stopping my sword!"

"Flip it over, I don't know! Climb up here!"

My eyes wouldn't stop fixating on its jaws, its hooked, onyx glean making my body leap away as it pursued, limping.

"You crazy?! Look at its teeth!" I ran around, closely pursued. "You've got a mace!"

Lisbeth babbled, clearly out of her element as I jumped on its back in a desperate bid to dodge.

"Okay, okay, just drop it!" I raised my voice, flailing my arms as blood left my face. "Come on!"

With shaky hands, she let it fall below her, my hexa-pedal opponent knocking me aside with its horn.

[HP: 56%]

Scraping across grass, I gasped from bent ribs, taking Lisbeth's [Bronze Mace]. This beetle was only level eight, yet required great effort to keep it from running me over like a slow moving car. My gasps were loud, shifting myself around. Her club had a surprising amount of weight to it, its mass and my strength would surely destroy it. Gripping it with both hands, I slung it down like a sledgehammer, a loud snap leaving the [Red Spotted Beetle] flailing, paralyzed. Shattered to glass shortly after, I lurched to catch breath, groaning as my leg twitched.

[HP: 72%]

"God," I winced.

"Lemmie see it!"

Lisbeth rushed down, crouching to check my shin.

"Ow, how do you feel?" she gazed up at me, mouth slightly agape.

"Pissed," I wiped my brow, wincing when she touched it, "Otherwise fi- ow!"

"Sorry!" Lisbeth's eyes turned wet, her fingers recoiling.

Grunted while stepping forward, stupid beetle crippled me. With a hostile environment all around us, I was turned into a tempting target for any creature with a dream for steak buffet. Not only that, but Lis was clearly not combating bugs, perfect.

"I'm sorry, so sorry. I just can't stand bugs, it's been with me s-since I was-"

"Stop," I held out a hand.

She froze.

"Lis, listen to me. Until proven otherwise, we're in enemy territory," I lowered my voice, glancing around briefly, "There're no reinforcements, no help for who knows how long. If they, and I'm being very general with they, find us? We're done, got it?"

Lisbeth nodded.

"Keep it cool. Cut it with the personal blame and we should do fine."

"Aye," she frowned.

Was catching my breath, as well as my own thoughts as I marched forward, my leg dragging. My shin throbbed as I stepped, my body limping in an effort to avoid grief. A few feet ahead was barely surpassed before a little hand grabbed my shoulder, stopping me in place.

"We need to move, what're you doing?" I said, looking back.

"You're hurt, and your bum's going the wrong way."

I eased my tone.

"How do you know? It all looks the same."

"The tree's face. It was north of where we were."

My lip straightened, rubbing my chin. Damn, she had a good sense of direction.

"You're right," I slowed, "Okay, turning around."

"Hold still."

A cloth was pressed, wrapping around my wounded calves a few times before sticking something between them. Using a hairpin, a shirt was bound around, its sting softened. Slumping briefly, I exhaled softly.

"How's that?" she said, staring up from her knees.

I smiled slightly, breathing quieted.

"Better, thank you."

"Aye, now if only I could be less of a chicken."

Heat from my previous encounter faded, temper wasn't gonna help me here.

"Calm down, it's alright to be a bit skittish. This isn't a beach landing."

"But if I didn't go up there, you wouldn't be-"

"Lis."

She stopped, keeping an arm guarded by another.

"Relax."

Rolling in her lips, she nodded. Was she missing something? Wrote a message for Heathcliff, who recommended I message someone named Argo. Guessed he was an info dumper, so I gave a sit rep.

[To Argo: Got information on Floor 2's mobs. Ready?]

[From: Sure! In fact, I'd like to ask questions about you later, if that's okay.]

"Oh joy, they wanna know me," I chuckled dryly.

"I wouldn't tell 'em much," Lis shrugged.

"Me neither."

Gave Argo what details I took from our recent encounter, though he kept poking for personal stuff. Told him I'd answer only what doesn't reveal too much for the time being. Last thing I wanted was another Anthem. Found some ostrich like creatures further north, my first noted trait made apparent within seconds of meeting them.

- Lisbeth

"They be bleeding idiots, these things!"

Big, stupid birds stretched their long necks out, cawing at us while flapping and pecking. Garr cleaved them without a problem, causing them to scatter, screeching like horror movie characters. Laughing at their retreat, I helped him crush every last one.

Kept checking inventory for drinks when he wasn't looking, why'd I give Leopon all of them? I was a fool for thinking this would work! Why'd I have to be such a wee pansy? I'm a country girl, bugs are everywhere.

Were we ever getting out of this?

"And we found our floor fodder," Garr said, "Quick question, how many do ya think are gonna struggle with these? I'm betting at least thirty."

"From those wee dumbies?"

Felt like I was overheating, constantly checking for anything scary.

"Fifty."

"Wow, you're even more cynical than me," he bobbed his Zweihander wielding shoulder, grinning as he returned my cloth bandage.

"I wasn't sure what equation to base it off of! I mean, how many people are even trapped here? I'd need a base number to start with."

"Hey, hey," Garr wagged a hand, leaning closer to me, "I be kiddin'."

"Oi, now you're copyin' me?"

"Yep, duel me."

He marched north all nonchalant, my throat clenching, my tongue flying. Did this guy have any filters?

"Oh really? And what if I win?"

He looked back while walking.

"Not sure, mean there's the question of you winning to start with."

My head cocked, feet picking up speed.

"What's so wild about that idea, mate?"

"You said you weren't a fighter, you tell me."

"Then we'll have a duel tonight, my choice," I crossed arms.

"Lookin' forward to it," Garr nodded, returning to our task.

A smile grew as he looked away, heat rippling through me. Aye, we'll see how that works out for you, Garr.

Sun Dancer

- Garr

Our environment heated further, a lack of shade forcing us to rest beneath what few trees lingered whenever possible. Water had to be rationed, as [Dehydration] was in effect out here. With flat expanses all around, it left no real estimate to what distance we traveled, least for me.

Speaking of distance, a familiar sight grabbed our attention without even making a sound. Another Tauran sat around, tongue hanging, its eyes on us. Damp eyes, it shook almost uncontrollably, lips open.

"Oh no," Lisbeth said, hand over her mouth with lowered brows.

Its level of fear made no sense, sure as hell wasn't us. Glancing around, no predators of an especially frightening sort waited, but looking down brought my head back.

"Ground's not right," I said quietly to her.

Viewing it herself, Lisbeth nodded with a grimace before returning to me.

"What're you thinking?"

"Looks tampered, don't know from what."

Its surface lacked grass entirely, though roots stuck out in gnarled bits. Stepping closer, our trapped horse-man-thing waved, signalling us something using its legs. Its motions, however, were completely foreign to me. Whispering in a guttural language, its snout pointed around itself.

"Not liking this," I stepped back, "I've got an idea though."

Taking out my [Siege Blade], I tried poking, probing this strangely inorganic patch. Several inches of its blade sank, more than four feet in fact. Only past six did it hitch, something tugging it.

"Quick sand?" Lisbeth said, sounding pained.

"Worse."

I stabbed, dirt whipping softly where I dug. My Zweihander shivered, coming loose.

"Yea, something's in that," I withdrew.

"Well, maybe we...could build a bridge," Lis glanced around.

Again our Tauran prisoner called out at us, using its legs like we'd use arms, waving them and pointing down. Damn things had a plethora of joints. Considerably large stones laid nearby, some of them only half buried. Watching my gaze, Lisbeth walked towards them.

"Don't."

"I can do this," she stepped forward.

"Done this plenty of times at home. Let me."

My fingers dug through rough soil, uncovering stones. With finger and nail, I clawed, dragging them towards this sketchy quick-mud pond. Despite my clearest statements, Lisbeth proved absolutely insistent on helping, pushing them, shaking as she threw everything she could behind each.

"Lis," I said softly.

Her eyes glanced, quickly.

"Why're you doing this?"

"Cause I ain't gonna be a dead weight, mate."

She wasn't gonna stop, stubbornness proved it. One by one, we rolled them out, oddly mushy soil parted, holding them up after moments of sinking. Could only build for a few feet though, any further was gonna risk attack from whatever lurked in there.

"Can you watch my back?" I turned to Lis, "I'm not trusting that pit."

"Aye," she took a firm grip of her [Mace].

Grabbing another stone, I rolled it over others with dragging feet. Boulders sank beneath me, stifling my breathing, this sludgy material ready to engulf. Grinding, I inched with difficulty breathing, eyes swerving left and right. Midway stone let off a soft plop, next rock had to be placed. Lisbeth scooted away, giving me space to retrieve. My chest weighed me down, feet continuing to drag, seeing I had to travel further. Time moved so slowly, listening to everything I could.

"Almost there," Lis said.

Another fell, a loud neigh coming from our imprisoned Tauran, looking ready to jump across to us.

"Wait!" I splayed hands, "No!"

It didn't listen, choosing instead to vault and land on our already shifting boulder, knocking all of us off and into this slurry dirt pond. Lisbeth screamed and flailed, hairy arms shoving me down, my body sinking. Something dense bumped beneath me, sliding past my shoes as I writhed and grabbing, tugging tufts of fur and climbing.

Right then, my back was pierced, a stinger jamming through meat like an oversized syringe.

[Sneak Attack Critical!]
[You have been Paralyzed!]
[Acid chews your armor...]
[HP: 54%]

You had to be kidding, a double stat debuff. Limb control was lost, my body sinking steadily, eyes bulging.

"Oh God, help!" I cried out, "Can't move! Can't swi-!"

Motionless, I couldn't turn my head as my ears submerged, my cries muffled by in-flowing gunk. Dipping further down this soup of deplorable refuse, my legs reached a mucus-like substrate, its adhesive form burning as it soaked through my shoes. Something wrapped around my leg, only to let go again. A hand reached and grabbed mine, pulling me up.

"Keep talking, I got you!"

Drawn out to waist height above ground, I could only cheer, Lisbeth pulling me out with every fiber in her being, boots skidding. Dirt and muck tugged slightly, eyes swerving at a loud snort. The rescued Tauran grabbed her, its furred hands tight around her ribs.

Big mistake.

Cursing loudly, Lisbeth whipped around, her mace gripped with both hands. Stupid prick got its jaw smacked, a loud crack bringing it tumbling on the ground, gripping its face.

"Get him, Lis!" I stopped, sinking again, "Wait, no!"

Dashing back, Lisbeth snatched my arm and tugged again, this mucus releasing me. Falling on hot grass, I sighed softly.

[Paralysis has worn off...]

Limb function returned, my body scrambling upward with renewed zeal, reckless in my ascent. Eyes swerved, but found only Lisbeth and a trail of dust still standing.

"Asshat ran off," she said, staring out towards dust.

"Oh God, thank you!" I said, running up and hugging her.

Arms were wrapped, Lisbeth rocking in my grasp.

"Hey, you're cold," I smiled, clinging on more, "I like cold."

"Oi, you're hot!" Lisbeth swatted me. "Off!"

I giggled, sitting beside her to breathe. Lisbeth seemed oddly unfazed by her lack of cleanliness, taking a seat moments later.

"That was a good hit back there," I said, slapping clumps off myself as I joined her.

She shook her head softly. I nodded, giving her a few minutes before speaking again. Had to hand it to Lis, she was tougher than she made out.

"Where did you live before this? You can just climb trees like a pro."

"Countryside. You know, with horses 'n stuff."

"Ah, a farm girl," I forced an exhale, "Surprised you're not mad about being dirty."

"Mm, I just don't like it when I'm smelly. I can always wash up."

Felt like a pansy, watching her act so calmly while splotched with drying dirt. Always hated stuff sticking to me.

"So what's your favorite dessert?" I said.

Lisbeth looked up to me, brown eyes dry.

"It's a bit expensive."

"So is living," I shifted, "Hit me with it."

"Mm...banana split sundae, double chocolate chips."

"How's that expensive?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Fruit's kinda pricey in Japan. Being a packed lil' island has its drawbacks."

"Huh," I nodded.

"Aye, took me a while before I got used to seein' square melons."

"Damn, cause I love banana split sundaes...course I don't go double chips."

"Really?" Lis smiled. "Used to get 'em back home in Scotland. They'd always serve low chocolate," her grin vanished, looking down at herself, "Told me I'd get chubby, should've probably listened."

"Hey," I nudged, "If you're what they call fat, I don't wanna see you skinny."

A soft, brief laugh left her.

"You're a real flirt, Garr."

Something stomped nearby, prompting our rise. Another Tauran approached, similar in physique to our rescuee, though notably well-fed, its snout painted a bright yellow. Branching out with leaves, its face paint stood out sharply against dark fur. Spotting us, its gaze hardened, then softened again, hurrying and stopping meters away.

"Yig de?"

Had no idea what he or she was saying. Lisbeth stepped beside me, staring up at our newest encounter.

[You must find a translator to understand Taurec]

"Yig de Freiyim?"

"No?" Lisbeth said, head tilted.

It grunted, glancing around quickly, its gaze unfocused for several moments. Its overly long arms exhibited a lack of fine motor control, swaying much like a great ape. It wore plant based clothing, surprisingly colorful, though with such clumsy arms I wondered how it even put it on. It leaned over us, speaking and pointing a hoof northwest of us. Its pacing implied a desire to be followed. Before leaving, however, I slapped down a small tower of stones. Erected to a height above five feet, I returned to walk with our escort.

"What's that for?" Lisbeth said.

"Warning sign. Told Argo to go at least fifteen meters around the location of any similar posts."

"Ah, good idea," she smiled slightly, arms swaying.

Ended up finding at least three more sites of similar bastard dens, made stone posts for each. What bothered me most, however, was my lack of names for whatever lurked in them. So being me, I dubbed them what fitted best.

"Glory holes,"

"Ya serious?!" Lisbeth facepalmed.

"I could've called it a tumbler."

"Pf, true. Think I read a romance novel involving those."

"Seriously?!" I stopped.

"Aye, sold pretty well too."

"Huh. Didn't know that counts."

"It's called fantasy, mate. People hate reality for a reason."

Coming across a camp of some sort, our escort waving us on using one of his legs. Only one tent stood, though its size was easily overshadowed by what stomped outside it. Lisbeth gasped, its breathing causing a stiff breeze as it gazed briefly with eyes as small as ours. It was a bovine, but of gargantuan size, wreathed in clothes and what appeared to be Cor coins for a necklace. Over thirty feet tall, its tongue lapped up whole sidewalks of grass, rivaling some cars in width. A [Trembling Cow] was its name, a pair of short horns crowning its head.

"Oh yay, the horses are safe," Lisbeth nudged, pointing right and hopping.

At least a dozen strong, healthy horses grazed beside their behemoth of a neighbor. Prancing and playing, their overall jovial attitude was unmistakably infectious, my lips rising.

"Why you say that?" I said.

"The guards back in Floor one said they ate these," she petted one, "Be sure to tell Argo?"

"Mm, well we may wanna wait on that," I glanced to our pacing escort, waiting outside his huge tent, "They're gorgeous though."

"I know right?" she cheered.

"In fact."

I drew a carrot, passing it to Lis. Her brown eyes got real big, passing it to the horse, who bit on greedily.

"Oi, too fast!" Lis laughed, "Hey!"

I watched as she fed a horse of various colors, petting it and giggling as it wriggled its mane, blinking. She was really...quite cute, playing around with it. Pulling out another, I motioned Lis.

"Why don't ya try?" she swayed.

Was gonna argue, but the horse had other ideas. Biting down, the carrot cracked in its mouth, getting a laugh out of me as it gobbled it all down. Animals, way trustier than people. They're simple, unhindered by our meaningless complexities.

"We'll have to play later," I patted its snout.

Entering, we found a couple dozen more Tauran, each with roughly identically colored face paint. While their patterns wildly differed, their expressions to our approach were identical, wide eyes and frontally cocked heads. One common trend I noted was their leg movement. They whipped them around, their hooves tilting, lifting, expressing with them much like we did with our arms. It came off almost like a dance, intriguing.

Central sat a mound of burning fecal matter, whose odor sent us reeling, evicting my appetite despite great slabs of meat glistening above it. An older member sat behind it, its furs graying, eyes as bright as its younger family members. Seeing a red tunic on this one, a chuckle left me.

"Quick, guess who's gonna die next episode?" I nudged Lis.

"Garr," Lis said, "That's mean."

"You're right, rhetorical questions don't suit me."

Lisbeth's hand slapped my shoulder, smacking a giggle out of me.

"Hey!" I grinned.

"You're new to these lands," someone said, "Your legs are as stiff as a foal."

Turning, an elf of similar clothing and face decor approached, albeit the shortest member of an eight plus foot tall group.

"That we are," I stepped towards him.

"Where're you from? You're not forest elves, certainly not dark."

"Neither mate," Lisbeth said, "We're humans, from Starting Town."

"Where?" his lilac colored eyes narrowed.

"South of here," I pointed. "Beyond those mountains?"

He blinked at me. A low grunt from red-shirt over here later and he stopped.

"My apologies, do you know Taurec?"

"Nope," I shrugged.

He nodded, waving us to him...again using feet. Weird group, these were. He spoke to this crouching Tauran, who himself looked fairly neutral as he grunted.

"Chief Strusstorn asks why you released Ugait, he's caused...enough trouble on his own. Betraying us for the Red Hooves..."

"We didn't know he was a problem," I said, "Found someone in trouble, thought he was innocent and ya."

Our translator spoke, a brief dialogue ensuing.

"She says you're now responsible for freeing a traitor of her flock, she demands you redeem yourselves."

I grimaced, a tingling in my side curbing what fire grew in me.

"How?"

"By killing a sweep of them, six in our tongue. Bonus for Ugait."

Shrieking Kobolds in my head brought a shiver.

"Is there perhaps a way we can handle this...peacefully?"

A quick messenger brought a snort and a rising chief, her great height towering over the plumes of her campfire.

"Chief Strusstorn says that is impossible, that the Red Hooves have been assaulting tribes throughout Urbia. They are vicious, unwilling to cooperate."

"Oh, bandits then," Lis nodded.

"What're they after?" I splayed hands.

A gasp erupted, with the chief growling, my hands dropping with my lips.

"Uh, what I do?"

"You just cursed them," our translator sighed.

"Crap," Lis backed away.

"Okay, let's back up a second!" I dropped my hands, "Tell them I'm very sorry."

Judging by her thighs relaxing, my shoulders dropped, a cold sweat kept on my neck.

"A sweep of Red Hooves, and she will forgive and welcome you."

"I'm going to try talking this out," I stiffened.

"Then you are unwelcome and stupid, be gone."

Fire grew in me, was ready to splay arms at my sides again. Looking to Lis, their furrowed brows remained.

"How about you? Will you-"

"I'm not the girl you want for that," she stepped back. "Sorry, mate. But how's this, may I learn your language?"

"You may...but not him."

"What?" I said.

Getting kicked out of their tent, I had to wait for her to finish learning. My foot tapped grass, gaze distant. I must've screwed up somehow, maybe I sounded like a madman. While I stared out, Lisbeth's befriended horse trotted up to me, brushing at me with its snout. Smiling softly, I stroked.

"Yes, I've got more," I summoned another carrot, "Last one though. Gotta feed ourselves too."

It quickly gobbled it down, staring at me with its shiny dark eyes, tail whipping. Smiling weakly, I patted its face.

"Sadly I can't support you, but maybe later, huh?"

Lacking any understanding, it simply blinked, lowering its head.

"Coming, mate?"

Lisbeth got me swerving, nodding as I joined her. We were both like insects compared to what roamed out here, nothing like what lived on Floor One. Reported what we found, though Argo was quick to reply.

[From Argo: You two better hang tight. Raid's failed to take Illfang down, not sure how long it'll be since we gotta make a new plan.]

Lisbeth read our sit-rep, grimacing as my menu closed. Spent all afternoon seeking out mines of any sort. A few caves were found, which we marked for later exploration, as night was close. Course, we did find some neat copper deposits around rocky patches.

Finding ourselves a spot besides a large rock, we set up camp. Sitting down, a groan escaped my lips, legs relaxing as my back rested against our barrier. Sitting down beside me, Lisbeth exhaled, adjusting her conservative top, brown curls resting against stone.

"Gotta say, this went better than I thought," she yawned.

"Yea," I massaged my arms with thumbs, "Should've kept my mouth shut though."

"Why, mate? I think you meant well."

"Cause I don't know anything about this place," I stretched, "I could be trying to talk to psych jobs."

"Aye, there is that. Frankly, I think we ought to follow what they say."

"And slaughter a faction I know little to nothing about?"

"Sometimes we gotta just follow what others say, mate."

"But this isn't one of those moments."

"What's your angle then? You told me this's a recon mission. Now all of a sudden you're being all strongman on 'em."

"I'm tired of sleeping on dirt, being chased around by wild animals. I wanna see about taking over these tribes."

An eyebrow from her was raised.

"Crazy, I know. I'm...still coming up ideas."

A gentle smile turned sly, Lisbeth nodding.

"Well lemmie know," she got up, "That bein' said, you ready to lose?"

"You or me?" I smiled.

"Oh of course me. I mean, I don't stand a chance."

Hairs on my arms stood, her voice overly sweet.

"You're pulling something."

"Me? Nah, you're just overthinking," her smile turned devilish.

[Duel Initiated]

My Zweihander readied, shouldered and bobbing as I watched her choose settings.

"So what'll it be? Half Loss? First strike? Training?"

"You'll see."

A few seconds later, my answer arrived in a red hue.

[Duel Mode Selected]
[1v1 - Karaoke Initiated!]

My eyes must've shrank a whole inch, watching all seven feet of sword transform into a microphone.

"What?!"

"What's wrong?" her toothy grin grew, "Oh, why'd your sword shrink, mate?"

Blood left my face, hands sweated, my lips straight as I glanced around, sucking a corner of my lip. Lisbeth giggled, stepping closer in front of me, mic held close to her chin. Freaking devil was playing games with my words.

"Pick a song, I won't judge," She glanced around, "Okay, maybe I will."

My chest squeezed my lungs, a whimper escaping with any shred of dignity I had left. New note on Lisbeth, never leave it to her to find weakness. Staring down, I checked options.

[Choose song!]
[Search...]

Taking a deep breath, I made my search, finding one I knew well. Correction, one of only maybe a few songs I knew.

[Song selected!]
[Now Playing: Weird Al Yankovic - Party In The CIA]

A [Corundumoth] is a golem type opponent, composed of entirely [Corundum] rocks for limbs. As slow as me without energy drinks, this beastie can eat damage for days, thanks to basically being made of uncrystalized ruby/sapphire.

With high defense and durability, you've got a long fight ahead of you if you lack proper tools! Some have suggested that exposing such a beast to extreme heat could cause it to transform into a crystalline variant, raising its defense stats, but drastically reducing durability. Makes me wanna see one real bad. Godfree, get looking!

Edit: Not happening. The mob thou seeks grows sapphire headed spikes. -Godfree

-Argo, The Beta Tester's Survival Guide. February 3rd, 2023

A/N: And what do you know, Garr's idea of Karaoke is terrible!

Remember guys, reviews are the staple thing I need to keep quality at the best I can make it! Bad and good, lemmie hear what you think :D

See you next week!