x
Something Better Someday
I'm like a kid who just won't let it go,
Twisting and turning the colors in rows.
I'm so intent to find out what it is;
This is my Rubik's cube.
I know I will figure it out.
- Athlete
Aubrey had woken to a quiet house, and, for the briefest of moments, she could have sworn she was in her own bed. Then her senses kicked in, starting with the feel of the warm blanket followed by how everything smelled differently than she was used to, and the unfamiliarity settled back down in the pit of her stomach. It made her not want to get out of bed. Unfortunately, she really had to use the restroom, and then she didn't want to get back into bed. It was on her way back to Chloe's room that she noticed the light was on downstairs, and she decided to see if anybody else was awake.
"Morning," Julia greeted her as she crept into the kitchen, "You're up early."
"So are you," Aubrey pointed out.
"Unfortunately, that is true," she agreed, poking at the yogurt in her hand with a spoon. She was sitting on the kitchen counter, still in her pajamas, a light blue tank top and matching shorts with swans on them.
"You couldn't sleep?" Aubrey asked.
"I just like having a chance to eat breakfast before waking everyone up for school," Julia answered.
School. It was Monday. Aubrey was going to miss so much. "Am I going to school here?" Say yes. She could go, and she could just sit in class, and maybe, just maybe, they were learning the same lessons she was at home.
"Not today," Julia answered, "We have a lot of other stuff to do today. Are you hungry?"
"No."
"No because you're really not hungry? Or no because you're disappointed you're missing school?"
"Morning, Ladies," Noah interrupted them before Aubrey could voice her concerns over not attending school and avoid the question of being hungry altogether. He stepped into the kitchen while stretching, dressed in very similar pajamas as his wife – only his were a much deeper shade of blue and, instead of swans, there were alligators. He ruffled Aubrey's hair as he made his way past her and to his wife, pecking her lips once he got to her. "Mm. Beautiful and you taste like blueberries." He opened his mouth.
"Suck-up," Julia murmured and fed him a spoonful of yogurt.
Ugh. Aubrey was going to vomit. Gross. "Excuse me. I would like to take a shower." She didn't take one yesterday, and anything was better than seeing that.
"I think we can make that happen." Julia slid down off the counter. "Pardon me," she said as she tried to slip past Noah, but he didn't move.
"I'll hold that for you," he said and reached for the yogurt.
"No, I'm going to eat it," Julia said, holding it out of his reach, still trying to get past him.
"I can just watch it until you get back."
Julia got the container around his hands and clutched it to her chest. "No. Come on, move so Aubrey can get a shower." She tried to duck under his arm, but he blocked her with his leg, causing her to whine and laugh at the same time. "I'm not giving you this. There is an entire box in the refrigerator."
"Same flavor?"
"I don't know."
"So, no."
"I said I don't know," Julia repeated, lifting the entire container to her mouth in an attempt to spoon in more yogurt.
"You didn't look?"
"No, I just grabbed one."
Noah raised his eyebrows.
"You have to go look," Julia mumbled, mouth half full of yogurt, "This one is almost gone anyway."
Noah grunted and let her free in order to walk to the refrigerator.
"Thank you." Julia looked over her back as she walked away, licking the yogurt from her lips. "Come on, Bunny-girl."
Aubrey followed her, wondering how she could still look so happy after being cornered against the counter and nearly having her breakfast stolen right out of her hands.
"There's no yogurt in here!" Noah called, "It's an empty box!"
Julia nearly choked laughing over her next bite. "Can you throw it in the recycling, please?"
Aubrey followed her up the steps, watching her scrape the bottom of the container with her spoon while grinning ear to ear. "You like it when he does that."
"He makes me laugh," Julia replied, "Do you have people back home that make you laugh?"
Aubrey shrugged.
"Do you have people that make you feel special?"
Special… Aubrey had people that made her feel singled out, like she was always standing alone in front of a gigantic crowd. She knelt down by her suitcase, internally groaning as she realized she was going to have to wear one of her school uniforms and she wasn't even going to school. "He was being mean to you," she turned the subject back to her.
"Sometimes when people tease us, they're being unkind," Julia agreed, "But sometimes it's out of love. It's just a matter of differentiating between the two. I like when he picks on me; it makes me feel noticed."
"So then why did you want him to stop?"
"Well, one, because I have things to do and he would go on all day if I didn't stop him," Julia answered, tapping her spoon against the empty container, "And, two, I have plenty of yogurt hidden away in the vegetable drawer, but if I had given him the one in my hand, that would have been like the grownup way of telling him I don't want to play with him. He probably would have thought something was wrong."
Aubrey stacked her folded clothes by size. Dress on the bottom, underwear, socks on the top. Just like a pyramid. Adult communication had too many nuances.
"There are clean washrags and towels on the shelf," Julia said as Aubrey stood, "And you can use Chloe's body wash until we get you your own. You have thirty minutes before I have to wake everyone else up to start getting ready. Do you want me to set a timer?"
A timer… Aubrey shook her head. She would be done in fifteen.
"Do you need help washing your hair?"
Did this lady think she was two? "I can do it."
"I have to ask," Julia said, "Not everyone your age can wash their own hair or feels comfortable doing it yet."
"I can do everything by myself," Aubrey informed her – and that extended way beyond taking a shower.
"Okay. Holler if you need anything. I'm going to go back downstairs."
And with that, Aubrey was left to start an entire day in this strange place.
xxxxx
Fifteen minutes in the shower turned into more like twenty when Aubrey decided sit down under the scalding water to think about how she had blurted out the word 'ass' yesterday, in front of an adult nonetheless, and didn't even get in trouble. She got away with just a light slap on the wrist, if you will, just a don't say that word. She hugged her knees tightly against her chest, letting the water cascade down over her entire body, and wondered if this was how the people of Pompeii felt as they were being burned alive by lava – confused, scared, left with no escape. How long did they sit there and burn before they finally felt nothing? It never took very long under the hot water before Aubrey's skin started to feel numb, followed by the rest of her – at least not until today. She just sat there and sat there until it felt less like she was underneath water and more like she was on fire, and she was forced to hit herself with an icy blast of cold water before she got out to dry off.
xxxxx
"Mama! I'm tired!"
Chloe was definitely one of those people one heard before they saw, and she broke the peaceful silence with a loud whine as Aubrey was finishing up getting dressed and ready. At least she would be at school all day, while Aubrey was apparently just going to be left behind and set up for a life of failure. She opened the bathroom door just in time to see Julia guiding her out of the bedroom with her hands on her shoulders as Chloe clutched her clothes for the day.
"Chloe Beale, I am going to start putting you to bed at 5:00."
Chloe furiously shook her head.
"Then, please, go get dressed."
Chloe let her legs give out from underneath her.
"Fine." Julia stepped back. "If you want to lay on the floor, you go right ahead and do that. I was going to let you let you go shopping with me and Aubrey, but if you don't want to wake up for me, Daddy is going to come and wake you up, and you can go to school. Do you want to go to school or do you want to come with me?"
Stay down, Chloe, stay down.
Chloe bolted upright with her eyes wide open. "With you," she decided automatically and scrambled to her feet.
Darn it.
Chloe spun around and immediately noticed Aubrey standing beside the bathroom door. "We're going to have the best day," she announced as she passed her to go get ready.
A high pitched shriek fifty times louder than Chloe's whining caused Aubrey to jump.
"No!" Daniel screamed. Noah had him by the feet and was trying to pull him out of his bedroom as he gripped onto the doorframe and tried to kick at him. "I'm not going!"
Julia knelt down beside him and pried his fingers away from the frame, blocking him from grabbing onto anything else.
"This happens every morning," Chloe said from the bathroom, "And night. But you must have been so tired last night, because you didn't wake up at all."
Every morning and every night…
Once in the hall, Julia grabbed him underneath the armpits, completely ignoring his flailing arms coming close to smacking her in the face, and helped haul him into the bathroom where they simply laid him down on the floor. "You can get yourself ready or I can help you."
"I can do it!" Daniel yelled.
"Well then show me," Julia replied.
"Get out!"
Julia folded her arms and leaned back against the wall. "This is your only chance to stand up on your own."
Daniel kicked the cupboard door beneath the sink before sitting up.
"Danny!" Chloe whined as she accidentally dropped her tube of toothpaste in the sink.
"Sorry, Chloe," he apologized, "Are you okay?"
"I'm tryna brush my teeth and you made me drop my stuff."
Daniel stood up and picked it up out the sink for her, rinsing it off under the water before handing it over. "Do you need help?"
"She can brush her own teeth," Julia told him.
"I didn't ask you!"
"Chloe, get ready by yourself, okay?" Julia stepped out of the bathroom.
Chloe nodded.
"I got it from here," Noah said, "I'm going to come back and get ready after I drop Daniel off at school."
"Okay." Julia gave his shoulder a squeeze then turned to Aubrey. "Come with me, Baby, I'll blow dry your hair."
Dry hair did sound nice… Aubrey followed her to the adult bathroom. "I can do it," she said and reached for the blow dryer as Julia took it out from beneath the sink.
"I know," she replied without handing it over, "Go sit on the edge of the tub."
Aubrey frowned and did as she was told, sitting so her feet were inside the tub and she was facing the ceramic tiles. "You have a really big bathtub."
"You can take a bubble bath in it later, if you want." Julia grabbed her brush and turned on the hair dryer to work on drying Aubrey's hair. "We have a lot of different bubble baths here. Everyone in this house seems to have vastly different taste when it comes to smells. I like the vanilla lavender one, Chloe has many that smell like strawberry, Daniel likes ones that don't smell like anything, and Noah has one that smells like sandalwood. Have you ever smelled sandalwood?"
Aubrey nodded.
"We can pick some out just for you. What kind of smells do you like?"
What kind of smells did Aubrey like… Most of them weren't exactly smells you would take a bubble bath in – like the smell of wet earth and of campfires and of someone barbecuing right after rain. That last one was her absolute favorite. "Do you have a grill?" she asked, deciding to just avoid the question entirely for the moment.
"We do," Julia answered, "Do you want to have something on the grill for dinner tonight?"
That was possible? "Yes." She probably wouldn't be there that long, but if she had to be around one more night...
"We can definitely make that work. I would really like you to eat breakfast and lunch too though. We have time this morning; I can make you and Chloe some pancakes or something."
Maybe… Despite skipping dinner, Aubrey wasn't feeling very hungry at the moment. She dipped her head forward as Julia put the brush down and began raking her fingers through her hair. She had slept for a long time, but the sensation made her want to close her eyes and sleep some more.
"What happened right here?" Julia asked, letting her fingers rest on the side of Aubrey's head – right where Aubrey's father had shoved it against the door.
Aubrey shrugged. "I don't know."
"You just…got hurt somehow?"
Aubrey nodded.
"Ouch. Are you okay?"
Aubrey nodded again.
"Okay. Well, if you remember what happened and want to tell me, you can, okay?"
She would regret saying that if Aubrey told her, and Aubrey just wanted to forget.
xxxxx
"Why do you all have the same pajamas?" Aubrey asked, still sitting on the side of the tub, but facing the rest of the bathroom now, as Julia brushed her own hair. It took her a moment to realize it – but Chloe's and Daniel's looked exactly the same as Julia's and Noah's, just different colors and different animals. Chloe's were purple with kittens, and Daniel's were yellow with lobsters. That was an interesting choice… Lobsters.
"My mom makes them for us," Julia answered, "Every year, it's a different theme. This year was our favorite animals."
"Why swans?" Aubrey asked, looking at hers, although what she really wanted to know was why lobsters?
"I was really tall and lanky growing up," Julia answered and put her brush down so she could mess with her hair with her fingers, looking at herself in the mirror, "My sisters said I was like the ugly duckling. But apparently they never actually read that book all the way through."
"Because the ugly duckling grew into a swan."
"Mhm. I grew into myself eventually. I don't know if I ever got any better looking, but I at least learned how to walk without tripping over myself, so that's nice," she said with a quiet laugh.
Aubrey thought she was pretty, even if she looked kind of different in the morning without any makeup on. "You turned your hair all back to blonde."
"I did." Julia got her toothbrush ready then looked in the mirror to brush her teeth.
"That's gross," Aubrey pointed out. No one watched her brush her teeth.
Julia must have still thought they were talking about her hair, because, with her toothbrush still in her mouth, she managed to ask, "What? You don't like it?"
"Why are you letting me watch you get ready?"
It was even grosser that she spit in the sink, right in front of her, not even caring how gross it was. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm going to kick you out before I change my clothes," she said before just going about the motions of rinsing her mouth and toothbrush, "What's so weird about watching me get ready for the day?"
"My mother looks the same all the time," Aubrey informed her. She always looked perfect. This lady didn't care if Aubrey saw her skin was kind of red on her cheeks or that under her eyes looked tired. She didn't care that Aubrey was staring at her as she managed to make all that go away with some cream and some powder.
"She wears makeup or she doesn't wear makeup?" Julia asked.
"She does." Aubrey knew she did. She saw her touching it up sometimes. "Why do you wear it?"
"I like how I look better with it," Julia answered, "Come here."
Aubrey slowly slid off the edge of the tub and walked over to the sink, watching her curiously as she rummaged through her things.
Julia knelt down in front of her. "Look at me," she said and uncapped a tube of lipstick, "And don't worry, I don't have germs. Also, I hardly ever use this color."
"Everyone has germs," Aubrey informed her, then stopped talking as Julia began applying lipstick on her lips – on a kid! Well, Aubrey was really grown up. She obeyed as she was told to rub her lips together and stood perfectly still as Julia grabbed a tissue from a box on the sink and had her close her lips over it.
"What do you think?"
Aubrey turned to look at herself in the mirror. She was a little shocked, to say the least, at how red her lips were. It made sense all of a sudden when she could look at herself in the mirror and not completely hate her mouth. "Do you not like my mouth?"
"I think you have a beautiful mouth," Julia answered, "Lipstick isn't always about your mouth. Sometimes it brings out other features, like the color of your eyes."
Aubrey's eyes did look brighter. She rested her hands on the counter top, trying to see what else looked different.
"Can I wear some?" Chloe asked.
Aubrey jumped. How long had she been standing there? And how was it possible to suddenly like her more when she was loud?! "Don't do that," she snapped, then look away in distress as she saw Chloe's underwear.
Julia barely budged, not looking away from applying her own makeup in the mirror except to briefly glance at Chloe's reflection. "Pumpkin, where are your pants?"
"Oh. I forgot about those. Be right back."
"How do you forget to put on pants?"
"I have no idea how her brain works," Julia replied, completely unbothered, "It's fascinating though. But I really don't think she forgets as much as she just doesn't want to wear them."
Chloe came running back in with her shorts, which she proceeded to put on right there in front of them. "Now can I wear some?"
"Yes." Julia grabbed a different color then turned and knelt down in front of her. Instead of going straight to business and just putting it on, she paused. "Good morning, Chloe."
"Morning, Mommy."
"Did you sleep well?"
Chloe nodded.
"Good." Julia pulled her into a tight hug and kissed her cheek so hard it smushed that entire half of her face. "I was surprised not to see you in my bed this morning."
"I did good."
"You are good." Julia released her and uncapped the lipstick. It wasn't red quite like Aubrey's. It had a smidge more pink to it. And Aubrey really could see what Julia meant, because Chloe had the bluest of blue eyes already, and with lipstick on, Aubrey never wanted to stop staring at them.
"I feel underdressed," Noah said, walking in to the doorway, "Can I wear some?"
Aubrey quickly looked up at him like he was crazy.
Julia laughed. "Sure, what color?"
"I was thinking maybe purple to match my toes…"
Aubrey looked down at his feet. Sure enough, his toenails were purple!
"I painted those while he was sleeping the other day," Chloe bragged, "He didn't even wake up one time."
"Well, I don't have purple," Julia said.
"Oh, well, maybe I should wait til later anyway. The moms might get mad if I drop our son off looking more beautiful than they do."
"Yeah, maybe that's a good idea," Julia agreed, grinning even wider as she finished up with Chloe then stood up again.
Noah picked up Chloe. "Will you ladies still be here when I return?"
"Probably not," Julia answered.
"I'm hoping it'll be a quick process today," Noah said, "I'm hoping these pajamas will encourage him to walk himself into the building."
"Good luck," Julia said.
Chloe looked contemplative for a moment before she pressed her lips hard against his cheek. She pulled away to look at the lip print.
"Well, now all the dads are going to be jealous," Noah remarked.
"Here, I'll make them double jealous." Julia rubbed a deep shade of pink lipstick around on her lips then kissed his other cheek.
"You wanna put one right here?" Noah asked Aubrey and pointed to his forehead.
Aubrey shook her head.
"He's going to wish it was you taking him to school today," Noah told Julia, "You actually care about his sense of pride."
"And so should you," Julia replied.
"I'll do my best. Starting tomorrow."
"Are you leaving now?" Julia asked, "Or did you just come in here to be jealous of how we look compared to you right now?"
"Both." Noah stepped forward and kissed her lips.
"Ew!" Chloe kicked her feet and squirmed.
Aubrey looked away.
"Have a good day." Julia patted his chest. "Don't get eaten by anything at work."
"You know that's always a gamble."
"Noah…"
"Fine. I won't put myself into any positions where I could potentially be eaten."
"What would you get eaten by?" Aubrey dared to ask.
"Everything," Chloe said in total seriousness before Noah whisked her away. "Daddy, I'm not going with you. Mommy said I don't have to go to school today!"
"I know." Noah stopped a few steps away from the bed. "I just want to throw you overboard."
"Noah, don't do that; you're going to hurt her one day," Julia said.
Chloe looked him dead in the eye. "Throw me."
"Cannonball!" Noah yelled.
Julia covered her eyes with one hand and turned the other way as Chloe was launched into the air, landing near the middle of the bed in a fit of loud laughter.
"Do you hear that, Chloe?" Noah asked.
Chloe bolted upright. "Sharks."
"Guys…" Julia held up the hand that wasn't covering her face in their direction.
Noah held his hands over his head like a shark fin and slowly began making his way back toward the bathroom, humming the Jaws theme song. "You shouldn't have eaten all that yogurt."
Julia lowered her hand back down from her face and stepped back around Aubrey. "You're going to get back at me for eating my yogurt?"
"I'm hungry."
"Noah," Julia warned him and pressed her back against the wall, "Stop it."
Aubrey tried to keep in mind their conversation from earlier as a slight twinge in her chest made it difficult to breathe.
Noah circled around Aubrey as he followed her, backing her out of the bathroom and into the bedroom as she protested.
"I'll save you pancakes," Julia tried to bribe him, then yelped as he poked her in the side, "Noah!"
"Should we listen to her?" Noah asked Chloe.
Chloe shook her head. "No."
Julia fell back as her legs hit the back of the bed. She sat down and held one arm up in either of their direction. "I'm going to send you to school, Chloe, and then I'm going to send you to live with Aunt Rachel."
Chloe's jaw dropped.
Aubrey crept forward, watching from behind the doorframe.
"Eat her?" Noah asked.
"I haven't done anything to either of you today…" Julia kept scooting back until she was against the back frame of the bed, then pulled her legs upward to her chest.
"Today…" Noah repeated, "Just waiting on the word, Chloe…"
Chloe seemed to be deliberating.
"I'm letting you stay home from school…"
"Eat her," Chloe stated.
Julia tried to shrink away from them, but that only seemed to help them pin her down. "Can we talk about this?"
Noah and Chloe shared a look, shook their heads, then begin pretending to devour her while tickling every exposed area they could manage to get to. Once she was in hysterics laughing, Noah stood up and brushed his hands together. "My work here is done," he told Aubrey as he headed out the door, "Goodbye, Ladies! I love you!"
Chloe might have won the battle, but she quickly lost the war once her dad was gone and no one was holding her mom down. Julia flipped them over and straddled her body, tickling her back.
"How do you like it, Chloe?" she asked, "Do you like this?"
Chloe nodded.
"Of course, you do." Julia stopped and collapsed down beside her. "I'm ready to go back to bed now."
"Me too," Chloe said, out of breath.
"Mm." Julia wrapped her up in a full body hug and closed her eyes. "Goodnight."
Aubrey watched them cuddle like that for a few seconds, neither of them moving, and she thought maybe they were going to go back to bed for real. But then Julia sat up and lightly smacked Chloe on the thigh. "I have to finish getting ready. You wanna wait here on the bed with Aubrey?"
"Aubrey and me are going to go get our dolls ready," Chloe decided.
"Okay. Before you go, you know your pants are unbuttoned, right?"
Chloe sighed and draped her arm over her face. "I'm a mess."
Julia looked up from buttoning them for her and laughed. "Oh, but you're a cute mess." She fixed her shirt down over her pants then got up and walked over to where Aubrey was standing. "We can get your doll a new outfit too, if you want," she said enthusiastically and fixed the straps of her dress, "What do you think?"
Aubrey thought she was going to be sick without quite being able to pinpoint why. She nodded.
"Okay." Julia smoothed out her hair for a few seconds before letting her go. "If you guys want to come back and hang out on the bed while you wait, you can."
"Okay." Chloe hopped off the bed. "Bye, Mommy."
Julia grinned and opened the closet door. "Goodbye, Chloe."
"Why are you saying goodbye?" Aubrey asked, following Chloe out the door, "You're just leaving the room."
"She's not coming with me," Chloe said, "When I see her again, I'll say hello."
"You say goodbye when you leave someone for a long time."
"Sometimes it feels like a long time without her," Chloe claimed, "It always feels like a long time when you're away from the people you love."
Aubrey rolled her eyes.
"Haven't you ever loved anybody?"
Aubrey loved Dolly Parton and she loved Whitney Houston, but she had never experienced life with them to know what being away from them was like. "You're weird."
"You're weird."
Aubrey frowned. "Well, you're weirder."
"Well, you're weirderest."
"That's not a word."
"It is a word; I just said it."
"Just because you say something doesn't make it a word," Aubrey informed her.
"Then what is it?" Chloe asked.
"Incorrect."
"Whatever." Chloe skipped into the bedroom and picked up her doll from the bed. "Maybe our mom will let us both get clothes for our dolls. They can match."
Aubrey climbed the bed to reach her own doll. "She's not my mom," she reminded her, "She's yours."
"Well, she's yours too now."
Aubrey collapsed face first onto the bed. "That's not how it works. "
"Yes, it is."
"Can you just go away?"
"This was my room first," Chloe replied, "I'm technically sharing it with you."
Right. Aubrey groaned and pulled the pillow over her head. The bed underneath her creaked, and finally there was silence again. Maybe they could all just go back to sleep and when Aubrey woke up, this nightmare would be over.
xxxxx
"Hey, Aubrey?"
The silence didn't last long.
"We're sisters now, so we should probably be best friends too."
"We're not sisters." Maybe the pillow would smother her. "Or best friends. Or any kind of friends."
"Because you don't like me?"
That is not what Aubrey said. "Because I'm leaving."
"You don't have to."
"I want to."
"But we have a bunk bed. Who's going to sleep on the top if you leave?"
"I don't know." The bed creaked again, and Aubrey could hear her get up. She was going to tell. She quickly lowered the pillow and sat up. "Chloe!"
Chloe stopped and looked back at her.
Well now what? Aubrey didn't have time to plan what to say next. "I'm sorry you thought we would be friends." That sounded even worse! Stupid, Aubrey, stupid.
Chloe sighed and walked away – but instead of going to her mother's room, she turned and went downstairs.
After yesterday with Chloe's dad, Aubrey should have known she wasn't going to tell. Why wasn't she going to tell on her? This was the second time Aubrey had said something to her that hurt her feelings. She flopped back down on the pillow and closed her eyes. Wake up from this, Aubrey, just wake up.
xxxxx
"Where did Chloe go? Downstairs?"
Aubrey was still laying on her bed when Julia finished getting ready – rubbing the hairs on her forearm back and forth across her lips for the calming sensation. It was just one of those distracting things that she could do in private that kept her from vomiting. If only she had ways to calm herself in public or when the really sudden urge to throw up overcame her. It worked now at least, lying in bed, when everything just felt ongoingly terrible – and it was better than sucking her thumb.
"Does doing that make you feel good?" Julia asked.
Aubrey lowered her arm.
"I know a lot of people feel good doing that with something soft like a blanket or a stuffed animal. I don't know if I ever met anyone who just used their arm. You know what makes me feel calm?"
Aubrey looked at her.
"Rocking. That's why I like the swing and the water bed. But sometimes even just leaning my head back against something and moving it side to side feels nice. It's called self-soothing."
That was ridiculous. "You're an adult."
"Everybody has some type of self-soothing mechanism. I guess a lot of times when people grow up, they tend to find more ways to do it inside their heads – like…counting sheep before falling asleep. But not always. Some people just become more private about it. I could never count sheep. I always wonder why they're jumping over a fence in my head as I count them. Where are they going?"
"The grass is always greener on the other side," Aubrey deadpanned.
"I guess maybe if I thought about it that way, I might be able to fall asleep. I always thought they were criminals on the run or something. It never occurred to me that they might be jumping for the sheer pleasure of it…"
For the sheer…shear… These people had the worst humor ever.
"Come help me make some pancakes," Julia laughed.
Fine. Aubrey got up and climbed down off the bed with her doll.
"You can time them for me as they cook," Julia said as she led her out the door, "You know how long they'll be?"
"How long?" Aubrey asked, looking up at her. She didn't want to help by just staring at a clock.
"Oh, they won't be long at all," Julia answered.
That didn't tell her anything.
"…they'll be round."
xxxxx
"Chlo, Pumpkin, you gonna help us make some pancakes?"
Chloe was sitting on the floor, wedged between the couch and the coffee table when they got downstairs. "Mm mm." She remained staring at the TV as she shook her head.
"Okay. What are you watching?" Julia asked.
"Pappy Drew-It is about to come on."
"Oh. Aubrey, did you ever watch Pappy Drew-It?"
Aubrey shook her head.
"I told you you're the weirderest," Chloe said, "Everybody knows Pappy Drew-It."
"Hey," Julia said lightly, "We don't speak to people like that."
Chloe picked up a pencil and looked down at the blank sheet of paper in front of her.
"Why did you say that to her?" Julia asked.
Chloe shrugged.
"Well, there has to be a reason. You don't usually talk to people like that."
"Well, she said that to me," Chloe said, and Aubrey paled.
"Girls, I know this is going to be difficult for both of you, and tonight we will have a family meeting about everything that's happening right now and the changes and expectations," Julia said, "But I'm going to tell you right now, you may not talk to each other that way. If you call each other names, there is going to be consequences. Do you understand?"
Chloe nodded. "Don't call people names."
"Aubrey, do you understand?"
Aubrey dug her fingernails into the palm of her hand. Maybe she should just never talk at all.
"Aubrey, do you understand that you may not call Chloe names?"
"I understand."
"What do you understand?"
She was going to make her say it… Aubrey looked down at her doll. "I want to go home."
"I know." Julia knelt down in front of her, making her feel a little less like she was two inches tall, "And I'm sorry, but that is not going to happen – and you have every right to feel however you feel about that. But, like it or not, this is how it is. I don't know how the people in your home speak to each other, but in this home, we use words that make people feel good. If you purposely use words that make people feel bad, you will not get privileges. Tell me, what kind of words do we use here?"
Aubrey glanced at her then looked down again, digging the tips of her toes into the carpet in silence. So what, if Aubrey chose not to listen, she didn't get to do things or have things? That was better than getting smacked – and she was becoming sure no one in this house was going to hit her. She didn't know why she didn't want to answer, maybe just to see what would happen. She thought about shrugging and finding out what the consequences to that would be. Instead, she stayed silent and still, thinking about her options and about what might happen to her if she made the choice she wasn't supposed to make. Only…Aubrey generally did everything she was supposed to do… Why was everything so confusing now?
"Okay." Julia nodded. "I want you to think about it. What's most helpful to me right now is knowing that you know we use words that make people feel good about themselves here, so we're going to pass on other ways for you to be helpful to me until you can tell me out loud how we speak to each other. So you can go do something else while I make breakfast and I'll call you when it's ready. If you decide you want to answer my question, I'll be in the kitchen." She stood up and looked at Chloe. "And, Chloe, if you choose to speak unkindly, you will turn off Pappy Drew-It and you will come flip pancakes."
Chloe made a face at the TV when she mentioned flipping pancakes then looked at her and nodded. "I'll be nice," she said then turned to Aubrey, "I'm sorry I called you that word."
"That was really kind of you to apologize," Julia said, "Thank you."
Aubrey watched her walk away to the kitchen. "I'll be kind!" she blurted out before she could completely disappear. This lady couldn't think that she wasn't helpful. She was the most helpful! She was more helpful than anybody ever. She was wrong about the whole being smacked thing, because she would rather be hit than have this lady think she wasn't helpful, because she was! She was helpful! She quickly turned to Chloe and sucked up her pride. "I'm sorry I said that word."
Julia stopped and turned around.
"I forgive you," Chloe said just like that, without a second thought.
Aubrey quickly turned back to Julia, waiting for some sort of reaction.
"Thank you," Julia said.
Don't say 'but'. Don't say 'but'.
"I'm glad that you understand so you can come help me flip pancakes, because I am a terrible pancake flipper."
"She is," Chloe agreed, "And I'm not being mean, just honest."
"I want you to be my helper and I can see that you are a good helper. Come on."
She sounded like Aubrey's mom when she was having a 'good' day when she said that. There weren't a lot of 'good' days anymore, but sometimes she still looked at her and told her she was a good helper, the best helper ever. There were some days when she didn't tell her to get the hell out of the way or that she was making everything worse.
"You can even measure and pour everything and mix the batter, if you want to."
Aubrey nodded.
"Okay. Come do it." Julia held out her hand.
Aubrey bypassed taking her hand, clutching her doll tightly with both hands instead. But that didn't seem to matter, and her hand ended up resting gently on Aubrey's back. And, somehow, just like that, she wasn't in trouble anymore.