3. Dinner & Drinks
Rachel takes in her fiancé from across the room, a sigh winding in her chest when he doesn't so much as a glance up. He's dressed for dinner, but his attention is elsewhere, directed at Discharge Power case files littering the table in front of him. It's been a difficult fight, made harder because the victims are sick children, and it's put her own priorities into perspective. The battery company ruthlessly neglected their responsibilities, endangered countless people, and when she and Mike decide to start a family of their own, that's not the kind of behaviour she wants their kids to see. They need to stand up to the way things are, but they also have to accept it's not just one battle. Change takes time, and Mike burning himself out won't help anybody, least of all the clients he's trying to protect.
Her heels tread the carpet towards him, closing the distance, and her fingers roll over his shoulders, sinking into the tight muscles. "We can always cancel dinner if you're not feeling up to it?"
He smiles gently, covering her hand with his own. Truthfully, he's looking forward to the distraction, and he'd promised himself he would make more of an effort with Harvey. He wants to see his friend happy, and with the way things have been at the firm, the effect Donna's absence is having, a change of scenery is just what they need. "I'm good."
She gives his arm a squeeze, pulling back to retrieve her purse when he catches her wrist, and she stops, drawn in between his legs as he sinks against the chair. He seems to relax, and she's glad, draping her fingers over his shoulders again.
"That's a nice skirt," he comments, running his thumbs over the waistband of the fabric. It feels like they haven't had a moment to themselves recently, not with everything else going on, and he tries not to think about what a future with her in Seattle would have been like had the offer been real.
"Is it the skirt or something else you like?" she teases, reading the intention behind his gaze but conscious of the time. "We should probably..."
"Yeah." He releases her, knowing where things will lead if he doesn't, fumbling for his phone. "I'll find us a ride."
"I'll get my purse." She fights a grin, suddenly eager to get going. The sooner the awkward dinner is over with, the quicker they can come home and focus on a different kind of distraction.
...
When they arrive at the restaurant, Harvey and Paula are already seated at a table in the back and Rachel smiles politely as they re-acquaint themselves. She's seen the blonde in the office before but hadn't felt the need to reach out, and still isn't convinced it's necessary, but she keeps the thought to herself as she and Mike take their seats in the upper-class establishment, more interested in food than the conversation.
Her attention goes to the menu first, letting Mike field the slight awkwardness.
"Nice suit," he winks at his friend across the table, "new?"
"It is," Harvey smirks, downing the last dregs of scotch from his glass. He knows what the kid is doing, the subtle dig that he'd wanted to make an impression not lost, and truth is, he's grateful for the banter. It means they're not hiding behind any false pretences. Paula's not Donna. But she is his girlfriend and he'd like for the four of them to do things like this more often. "That's the one you bought when you first started, right?"
Mike pulls down on the labels, not phased by the redirect. "You mean from your tailor that I never called?"
"We both know that isn't true," Harvey chuckles, motioning toward the skinny knot laced around the man's neck. "Although he never did manage to get the tie right."
"What, this?" He fingers the blue satin with a self-assured smile."You gave me this as a Christmas present."
Harvey opens his mouth to protest but Mike's attention quickly leaps to Paula. "I don't know if he told you this, but I have an eidetic memory."
Her mouth curves at the inclusion, enjoying the show of comradery between the two men, and playing along. "That's very impressive."
"Don't encourage him," Harvey breathes under his breath, eyeing the object again, "and I don't buy gifts, remember, or did your eidetic brain forget that, too?"
"Donna picked it out."
Rachel makes the comment casually, glancing up at her fiancé who, to his credit, doesn't flinch. When he'd pulled it from the closet she hadn't thought twice about the choice. It was a long time ago and she's only making the connection now because Harvey's right. He never makes his own purchases for people because Donna always did it for him. "Come on," she tilts her head curiously, "you know she did all of his gift shopping."
Mike subconsciously tugs at the material around his neck, absorbing the uncomfortable silence that his girlfriend seems completely oblivious to.
"Paula, would you mind passing me the water, please?" Rachel smiles over the menu, almost feeling bad when the woman's hand fumbles with the bottle but she wasn't being deliberately antagonistic. She was just settling a dispute and takes hold of the glass neck to pour herself a drink. "The Stuffed Chicken Valentino sounds amazing."
"I'm going to try the steak-" Mike adds quickly, dipping his head and burying his gaze in the list of choices, "and we should order some wine?"
Paula can feel the tension radiating from Harvey, Donna's name clearly setting him on edge, and she curls her hand over his thigh with a quick squeeze, silently telling him it's okay. This is all an adjustment period, and if she can handle it, then so can he.
Harvey tries to relax, eyeing the waiter to signal him over, giving Paula a small smile. In a courtroom he can run rings around anyone, have the situation tip in his favour with a well placed look, but here, he has no idea how to act. The comment about Donna wasn't wrong, it was just an unnecessary reminder, another aspect of all the things she used to do for him that he took for granted. But that's now gone, and he bites the inside of his cheek, fighting through a blur of weeks that he hopes didn't hold any important dates.
Mike glances up again, reading the look on his friend's face, and he does his best to smooth it over. "For the record, my birthday was in August."
"I knew that." He didn't and breathes in deeply when a young man in his twenties reaches them. "Another Macallan, and a bottle of Chateau de Beauchastel for the table, thanks."
Rachel glances at Harvey, the selection one of Donna's favorites, which he doesn't seem to even realise until their eyes meet, and his shoulders once again stiffen in response.
She almost feels sorry for him, wondering how many times a day he must stop and catch himself thinking about Donna, registering the same flash of pain she's seeing now. Mike was right. He is hurting, and while that doesn't make anything about the situation any easier, she replaces the quip riding on the tip of her tongue with something more lenient. "Good choice." The appreciation in his soft stare doesn't go unnoticed, and when the alcohol arrives, the conversation flows more freely. She sips on her wine, engaging as much as she can. The only three things she's ever had in common with Harvey are work, Mike and Donna. She has even less in common with Paula, but she makes a concerted effort to appear pleasant, until much to her relief, they decide to ask for the cheque.
She's a little tipsy, not drunk, but when Paula excuses herself to go to the bathroom, and Mike leaves to retrieve their coats, she meets Harvey's gaze once more across the table.
He hesitates, opens his mouth, and closes it again, glancing at his watch.
Rachel tips the last of the red liquid back, swallowing it down.
She'd kept herself from bringing Donna up again during their meal, but now it's just the two of them and she's mellowed on wine, her lack of inhibitions loosen her restraint. "She's doing well you know, really well."
He swallows, once again at a loss for what to say. Part of him doesn't want to hear it, the other half is warring with relief, glad that she's okay but afraid, scared to picture it. "Good." The acknowledgment scratches through the silence, and despite his fear, releases a need to know more; what she's doing now, if he'd ever come up in conversation, whether she hates him? The questions turnover but none of them make it out and when Paula returns to the table first, he loses the chance to ask them, her words washing them away.
"This was a lovely evening, thank you Rachel."
There's a depth to Paula's gratitude that Rachel really doesn't care for one way or the other. She wasn't being civil to broker a peace treaty or make friends. She did it for Mike, and her lips close around a short smile as her fiancé returns. They all leave together but don't share a cab, and when she's inside the safety of the moving car, she lets out the sigh she's been holding in all night.
Mike doesn't miss the response and closes his hand over the top hers. "It wasn't that bad, right?"
She shakes her head slightly. "No, I guess not. I just... " she falters, her gaze falling to the other vehicles and lights as they pass by, "I don't understand why he didn't choose Donna."
Mike gives her fingers a gentle squeeze. He gets it. He'd promised himself he wouldn't be biased, that as much as he loves Donna, Paula deserves a chance too, and there's nothing wrong with the woman. She's smart, attractive enough, and seems like a decent person, but she's bland. The chemistry between her and Harvey is soft, not sparking like it should, and even though his friend claims to be happy, the divide between miserable and content doesn't seem all that different, "Who knows, maybe he still will?"
"Mike," she throws him a warning glare. It might not be how she wanted things to turn out, but it's where they are, and the thought of Donna going back, putting herself through any more heartache is something she couldn't stand to see her suffer through again.
"I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic." He plasters on a soft smile, but he's sure of one thing; if Harvey and Donna are meant to be together, they need to figure that out for themselves.
...
...
It's nearing 9pm when Donna goes to leave for the night, tired, but not enthused about going home alone to her empty apartment. She'd texted Rachel a few evenings ago to see if the brunette wanted to head out for a drink, only for her friend to confess she was getting ready for her double-date with Paula and Harvey. Even though Rachel had reported back that the evening was fine, code for 'sufferable', she's been mulling about her own social life. It's an area she needs to start putting more effort into again, but is lacking the motivation, until she spots the irritated look on her assistant's face as she slams down the phone.
"Zoey, everything okay?"
She flushes, not having noticed her boss' approach, but it wasn't a work call, it was a personal one, and she's quick to defend how it must have looked. "Date bailed."
Donna winces, knowing that feeling all too well, and she quickly glances at the time on her watch again, deciding to hell with being a boring manager. It's not that she and Harvey hadn't ever shared a drink over the years, and a smirk creeps onto her lips. "Sounds like shots are on me then."
"Seriously?" Zoey hikes up an eyebrow at the redhead. So far the two of them have only been social in the office, grabbing lunch-together, or gossiping when things are slow, though they rarely are, and her mouth splits into a grin. "You really want to go out?"
Donna nods, not ashamed to admit she can feel herself getting caught up in the blonde's enthusiasm. She's not exactly twenty-something anymore, and will most definitely be home in bed before midnight, but she could do with a couple of hours blowing off some steam herself and shrugs. "Sure, why not? Unless of course you have something against tequila, in which case, we might have a problem."
Zoey is already standing, the purse she'd quickly collected slung loosely over her shoulder. "Trust me when I say that is not going to be a problem."
Donna can already feel tendrils of regret creeping their way in, but in this instance she's happy to ignore them, not surprised when the woman joins her without a coat or any protection against the elements outside. It brings back memories of a younger herself, a more carefree version that threw caution to the wind, and while she loved those years, she's glad they're over with, fitting her scarf more snuggly as they leave the building.
They find a place close by, they're in the heart of Manhattan so there's no shortage of bars, and Donna disrobes herself, placing two orders of shots, and a round of margaritas, something slightly more acceptable they can sit on so the night doesn't turn into a total white-wash. She has no problem with whatever antics Zoey gets up to after she leaves. Her assistant has proved, like she did, that work is a priority, but she's still mindful of the fact that she's a role-model now, and has at least a decade on the blonde who is still finding her way. She's not ashamed to admit she's been doing the same thing, she just isn't looking for the answers in crowded bars anymore. Why, when they've down their shots, she finds the furthest table away from loud base music pulsing through the club.
"So your lunch date last week?" Zoey queries, placing her purse on the laminated surface and wiggling on the high stool to get comfortable. "Anything I should know?"
Donna smirks at the tenacity of her assistant. Even though she'd only been meeting Rachel, it was the first hour she'd taken away from the office asking Zoey to hold her calls, and the woman is nothing if not perceptive, one of the things she admires about the blonde. "It was with a girlfriend, not a guy," she ends the mystery, deciding she's strung the poor girl on for long enough, "but I have a feeling you have a better story in that department?"
She's not sure she'd call it better, taking a sip of the cocktail in front of her, to mask both her apprehension but also awe of being able to talk about it with her boss. For the past year she'd been nothing but a shadow, doing what she could to cement her place in the company, but since Donna started, the work she's been putting in has actually been recognised, and not just by the redhead, but by other managers at S&P. She's always prided herself on reading situations, but the woman sipping on a margarita across from her is an enigma, and rather than reveal all her cards at once, she takes a gamble. "You're not like most people."
"I'm not like anyone, I'm Donna Paulsen," it rolls naturally out her mouth. She may have added her last name to the title, but the meaning behind it hasn't changed. It's who she is, something that's only been reinforced since she left Specter Litt, and she wants Zoey to wear the same confidence, and have faith in herself, no matter what hurdles get in the way.
"You really want to know?" she asks, fingering the stem of her drink. There's still a chance they could change topic, keep things light and easy, but she's already on the threshold of spilling everything, needing someone to confide in who has an objective opinion. Most of her immediate circle are already in relationships, or not wanting to be, and she's somewhere caught in the middle, letting her frustration out with a sigh. "We've been friends since junior high, and it's stupid, but I thought maybe now he might be ready to start something. I guess I was wrong."
The narrative is too similar to her own history, and Donna takes a sip of alcohol, her tone just as salty. "My advice, cut and run."
Zoey's surprised by the bluntness, her mouth opening before she thinks better of it. "Is that what you did?" Her boss tenses, and she didn't mean for it to come out sounding the way it did. "I just meant, you're single, starting a new job- flooring everyone... I thought maybe something pushed you to take the leap?"
Once again the woman's perceptiveness rears itself, and a small smirk winds onto Donna's lips, in spite of it all being true. "I wanted more," she admits, airing on the side of caution, trying harder not to let her own situation sway her judgment. "I didn't know what that was, so I left to find out."
"No regrets?" Zoey asks curiously.
"I don't regret putting myself first, and you shouldn't either," she says seriously. "If this guy can't see what's right in front of him, that's his problem."
It sounds good in theory and Zoey wants to believe she could walk away, but it's not that easy, something she suspects Donna has an idea about when she points to the bar.
"Worst case scenario, there's always tequila."
Zoey grins, ignoring the urge to reach into her bag and check her phone. Donna is right, and she lifts her glass, cheers-ing the woman across from her. "To putting ourselves first."
"I will drink to that," she smiles warmly, chinking her margarita, and watching the blonde down her first, large, sip for the night. In her eyes, Zoey isn't just an assistant. There might be an age gap between them but she's honestly grateful to call her assistant more than just a colleague, and the conversation flows freely in-between rounds of cocktails, the music growing louder as the venue transforms into something closer to a rave that makes her ears ring. Her amusement peaks when Zoey begs her to dance and it's the tipping point for her, the late hour and thrall of somewhere quiet too much to ignore, and she tells the woman another time, not at all worried when Zoey finds an unsuspecting partner to take her place. It's like looking back on herself ten years ago, and she dips her head gathering her things, searching for her phone as she makes her way outside.
16 missed calls.
Panic curls in her chest as the notifications pop up, the anxiety turning into relief and a surge of excitement when she sees a message from Rachel.
Wedding is in two days! Ring me as soon as you get this! x.
She hails a cab first, needing to be somewhere warm for the conversation, but as the door closes, she hits redial, suspecting her friend will be awake despite the fact it's nearing midnight. She isn't wrong, Rachel picking up on the second ring, and she takes a deep breath, curving her lips around a smile.
There has to be a reason they brought the wedding forward, and whatever it is, she's ready to support her best friend, breathing out slowly.
"Tell me everything..."
AN: Thank you for all the amazing reviews and support for this story! I really wanted to get these three chapters out so I can put Harvey and Donna in the same room :P