Launching Ships, Chapter Two
The Chamber of Secrets was exactly how Fred had imagined it. Spooky, green, and covered with hundreds of creepy little snake carvings that seemed to follow his every move. Oh, and the big-ass snake. Yeah, that kind of killed the mood too...this wasn't the sort of place you would want to go to study or make out with your girlfriend, unless you were Salazar Slytherin, he supposed.
But he hadn't come here to speculate on Salazar's disturbing choice of decor. Well, maybe a little bit, perhaps, but he was mostly here to loot the basilisk carcass. Speaking of the basilisk...Fred whistled as he saw it. It was nearly sixty feet long. This was the thing that had nearly killed Harry when he was an ickle second-year? The thing that Harry had then proceeded to slaughter with an honest-to-goodness sword while it was trying to kill him? Damn. He had to up his game. Well, right now, actually, he had to collect ingredients.
It was worse than separating pig fetuses into their component parts for detentions with Snape. For one thing, pig fetuses were certainly less than sixty feet long...and they didn't have diamond-hard apple green scales. For another thing, pig fetuses were usually pickled. While basilisk meat is so poisonous that the animal is nearly incorruptible after death (unless a coven of kobolds gets a hold of it) it still apparently leaked viscous, half-clotted blood all over his hands when he accidentally hit an artery. Oh, yeah, and there was also it's eyes, which looked partially eaten by something. Yum.
Fred went back to collecting ingredients with a shudder. Soon, he had a few dozen scales, two fangs, a clean potion vial filled with pale greenish-yellow serous venom, it's tongue (which was four feet and two inches, black, and unpleasantly squishy...and, incidentally, wouldn't fit in the bag he'd brought) and a length of the shed skin, which he had found in the entry way.
After using his broom (which he'd carried everywhere with him since Umbitch had become a threat, as an escape route, should be need one) to go back up the pipe, he went to the Rooms of Requirement (yes, he knew about them; what self-respecting prankster didn't) to change clothes so he wouldn't be covered in basilisk gore when he went to talk to Snape (he could just imagine that conversation) he went straight to the Potions lab, knowing that today was office hours. And then he was standing in front of the door. And he summoned his Gryffindor courage and knocked.
"Enter."
Fred suppressed a shudder at the thought of entering the...snake's...den, and turned the knob, and pushed open the door. Snape, who'd evidently been grading essays in the absence of any students who needed help, raised a brow.
"Mr. Weasley. I never thought I'd see the day when you arrived at my office voluntarily, and unaccompanied by your brother. What do you need?"
"I'm..." Fred's voice cracked just a little- sure, he was audacious normally, but this was no normal occasion, and he just had to hope that the basilisk parts would keep Snape from throwing him out until he had said his piece and the promise of more would keep him from just taking them and giving him detention. "I need help, and I have a proposition for you, if you'll hear me out."
A spark of interest flashed in those black eyes. "Well?"
"You help me perfect this potion recipe and brew it. I give you some basilisk parts and promise not to use said potion on you," he said, calm and matter-of-fact.
Snape stared at him, and for a long, terrifying moment Fred was afraid that Snape would throw him out, or turn him down, or laugh at him for even attempting to bargain with him. Then he straightened. "Basilisk parts? And what potion recipe would this be?"
"Are you taking me up on it then?" Fred asked boldly.
"I want the facts before I commit to anything."
"And I want to be assured that I won't get into trouble because of this," Fred returned.
"Very well. I give you my word," (it sounded painful) "that I will hear you out without punishing you. Now answer my questions."
"Wait. You said you'd hear me out without punishing me. You said nothing about punishing me as soon as I finished," said Fred.
To his surprise, Snape chuckled quietly. "I cannot promise that, because I do not know what you are going to say, but nice try."
Fred smirked. "Ok, so I intend to make Umbridge fall in love with the giant squid, or possibly a blast-ended skrewt or a toad. I didn't want to use any existing legal love potions: love aura is not a proper love potion, just modified truth serum, draught of desire is borderline Dark, amortentia has obvious effects and so does lust philtre, and caritas incanta tastes really strong. So I came up with my own recipe." He dug in his bag and pulled out a stained notebook with yellowing pages covered in notes and diagrams.
"Here it is."
The notes read:
Fill a gold cauldron to the halfway point with dew or distilled water and set it on the lowest possible heat (lower than a simmer?)
Bruise the spearmint buds until the essential oils start coming out (DON'T use peppermint, since that intensifies the effects and makes the potion's thrall obvious to any people who see the consumer) Try leaves here?
Fred had added comments and annotations later.
Use whole leaves of hyssop, rather than more spearmint, because it takes less spearmint to create an imbalance.
Powder moonstone fresh, as it's more potent, and mix a little crushed opal in to stabilize, before sifting it in like flour (to get a more delicate, insidious effect) Stir counterclockwise continually, but do not allow it to foam.
Let stand 1 hr, then add coarsely crushed rose thorns and thin strips of baobob leaves. Let rest another hour, or until it has somewhat settled, before adding purple rose petals, cut into small squares (about 3 mm. square). Let it steep overnight in a cool dark place with a breathable cloth over it so nothing falls in.
Uncover the potion twice every day, at dawn and dusk, to stir it nine times clockwise (not counterclockwise because the magic is very delicate at this stage, due to the addition of the baobob leaves. Make sure to cover it again, and keep the temperature low and the air dry, to prevent evaporation or mold contamination.
On the twelfth day (this goes through a longer steeping process than amortentia) slowly heat the mixture up again, and continue heating until it is roiling in the cauldron.
Add frozen ashwinder eggs and let the boiling liquid thaw them- warning, this part splatters a LOT. Don't stir.
When the liquid stops splattering and sizzling, lower the hear and stir, alternating clockwise and counterclockwise until it starts to steam like amortentia in its final stages. Once this happens, add five grams demiguise hair (to make it colorless) and seven drops Antipodian Opaleye tears from a size three dropper (to make it tasteless and odorless).
After that, add just enough tincture of belladonna to counteract the toxicity of the demiguise hair without poisoning the potion. Then add hair or blood or such from the person you want the victim to fall in love with.
At this point, the potion must be removed from the heat so it won't be spoiled and strained and bottled while still warm (don't bother to try to cool it- it remains warm for no less than forty-eight hours after being taken off the heat.)
Projected Effects: slowly mounting insidious obsession, sudden loss of gain of appetite, mood swings, etc. No test subjects as yet.
Fred had never actually seen Snape looked surprised before.
"This- I couldn't do this better myself," he said hoarsely at last. "It will need to be tested, obviously, and not on yourself, but I cannot see any problems on the part of the theory. I do not approve of the topic," he added, "but I believe I can make an exception if it is for use on Professor Umbridge. I will help you make the potion. Do not expect this to be a regular.