13. Conflict of Interest
Harvey wakes to the sun beaming between his shoulder blades, the warmth seeping in through the morning chill that's frigid in the air. He blinks his eyes open, finding Donna bathed in the soft glow, awake and on her back beside him. A lazy smile spreads across his face when she turns her head, curving her lips. He's close enough to count each freckle on her nose, his body having stayed near to her during the night.
Even with the daybreak streaming in behind him, the space seems vast and empty compared to her side of the mattress, and he shifts, sliding his leg across her calf, and tugging himself forward.
Her eyes gleam with amusement, clearer than his own, and he can tell she's been awake for a while. But there's no aroma of coffee to jolt him, which means she hasn't left the bed, and curiosity wraps around his fogginess, tinged with the slightest hint of nerves as he breathes in. "You okay?"
She holds his gaze, angling herself more towards him, and pushing down the thoughts that have been circling her mind since she woke up. The doubts wearing her down have nothing do with him, and she rests deeper into the pillow with a content and happy sigh. "Yeah."
The brief hum of his anxiety settles, his memory raking over everything that happened with a sense of calmness, but as he works his way back, he stops shy of the moment he'd swept her into his arms. He'd been lost in a haze of desire but he lingers on her words, replaying their importance rather than intimacy that had followed. "You said last night you were worried."
He draws the comment seemingly from nowhere, but it taps straight into where her preoccupied mind has been fixating. His awareness surprises her, especially given he's still shaking off the realms of sleep, and she opens her mouth but closes it again, caught off guard by his intuition.
"I know you too, remember?" A soft smirk settles on his lips as her cheeks speckle pink. Truth is, he was just hazarding a guess, but he's not inclined to boast about being right. He'd rather find out where her head is at, and if there's anything he can do to help. "You can talk to me, if you want, that is." He voices the offer casually, his thumb moving beneath the blanket to absently circle her hip and silently infer it's okay either way. If she isn't ready, they've got time to figure it all out. He isn't going anywhere.
The gentle motion stirs a flutter in her chest, the newness contrasting the familiarity in his relaxed gaze. They seldom touched before but it's completely natural, like they've been waking up this way for years, and she draws in a steady breath. "I can't drop the suit," she says quietly, watching him for a reaction but he doesn't let one slip, just waits patiently for her to continue.
"If I do—" she adds "—it looks like I'm condoning Collin's behaviour to get what I want. But if I don't…" She flips her thinking to the other side,"I'll lose my job, and they're going to spin my word against his so everyone thinks I'm lying." All the scenarios play out the same, leaving her without a third option, and she can see he's trying to think of one under the guise of a slow nod. What she doesn't want is for him to be biased in his approach. The reality of her predicament is his expertise, and she wants his advice, but only if it's genuine. "Imagine I was somebody else coming to you with this, another client—what would you say to them?"
A quip about why he'd be naked is on the tip of his tongue, but he swallows it down, grazing his knuckles along the curve of her body with a short exhale. "I'd say if you love the job… don't fall on your sword, it isn't worth it." The suggestion might seem cowardly but he's paid to win, and the deal gets her everything without risking anything. But she has more integrity that most of his clients put together, and when she tips her head forward, he brings his hand out from under the blanket pushing the wayward strands of hair back. "But you're not someone else. You're Donna." He drops his palm down to her shoulder with a light squeeze. "They wouldn't have offered you your job back if they weren't worried, so if you tell Samantha to attack, she will."
His touch slides below the covers again, and she hooks further around his leg that's nestled between hers, feeling his heartbeat beneath her fingertips, and her own swells with his support. She'd accused him of not having faith, but in reality, maybe she'd lost a little of her own, because she hadn't recognised his intentions for what they were. He wasn't trying to undermine her, he was protecting her in the only way that made sense to him at the time. "I'm sorry, Harvey."
His brows dip with genuine confusion. "For what?"
She bites her lip sheepishly, wishing there was a way around admitting the truth, but he's been completely honest with her about his feelings, he deserves the same courtesy in return. "Doubting you had faith in me."
He stills from a moment, taking a second to absorb the apology, hating they became so estranged she thought he didn't. But that's not on her, and he drops his voice, regret breaking through the hushed words. "I'm sorry I gave you a reason to."
He attempts a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes, and she lifts her fingers higher, brushing over the stubble of his jaw, until she lets the hand fall away with a sigh. They're both carrying around guilt. She'd been so fearful of getting hurt again, she'd glossed over everything he'd tried to tell her the other morning, including how he'd suffered from a panic attack, and concern mists her gaze as she blinks up at him. "Are you okay?"
Worry threads through her expression, and he slips his palm further around her back, his features relaxing as he voids the remaining space between them. He hadn't been—trapped inside his own personal hell without her, but he'd freed himself from those shackles by finally accepting his feelings, and he hums the assurance softly against her lips. "Mmmm… I am now."
His grins into the languid pecks, and she smirks but stalls him with a light push against his chest. "I'm being serious."
"So am I," he says, not wavering. She's the only thing he needs to be okay, and he's never been more sure about anything. "For the first time, I feel like I'm finally where I'm supposed to be."
The gleam in his eyes makes her own gloss over. She might not have a clear direction at the moment, but she knows being with him is what she wants—what she always wanted, and when he rolls her over, shielding her body from the cold, she sinks into the heat of his kiss with a wide smile.
She's right where she's supposed to be, too.
They both are.
…
Eventually they move from the bed, to the shower, to the kitchen—their next port of call, coffee to refuel before the day ahead. Donna watches Harvey clad in his trousers—because she's wearing his shirt—and a smirk crosses her lips when he turns holding two full mugs.
He hands her one, taking a sip from the other, and hiking up an eyebrow. "You know I'm going to need all my clothes before I leave?"
She wraps her fingers around the hot beverage, inhaling the strong aroma with a teasing scoff. "I'm sure Ray's seen more than an eyeful over the years."
The quip lures him forward, and he steals another mouthful of coffee before placing the drink down beside her. "I can promise you, he hasn't." He may have indulged in a bachelor's lifestyle, but he'd always shown restraint around his driver. He's always had restraint. She's the only one who's ever driven him crazy enough to forget his surroundings, and he palms the edge of the bench boxing her in. "I'm not exactly in the habit of giving people the shirt off my back."
"Such a sweet-talker." She relinquishes her cup when he steals it, so he can set the beverage aside and move in closer.
"You have no idea." He doesn't waver with his confidence, even when she snorts at the institution.
"Oh, I think I have some idea." She presses her hand to his chest, sliding it up and brushing her fingers through his mussed hair. "But I'm still willing to pretend you're a gentleman."
He grins, fiddling with the hem of the garment before his thumb drags back to her waist, bunching the fabric. "For the record, it looks better on you."
"I know."
She gleams at him and he loses the retort on his lips, distracted by the smell of her shampoo nuzzling his senses. He has forever to enjoy being this close to her, and after everything that's happened, the novelty is going to take some time to wear off.
Her cheeks flush under the warmth of his gaze and she drops her hand back to his shoulder with a curious smile. "What?"
"Nothing," he hums the assurance. There's no reason to drag up all of his past mistakes, but she tilts her head questioningly, and he's not going to deny her the truth. "I've missed this—you, us. I wish…" He shakes his head. "I just wish I'd figured it out sooner, that's all."
Her chest swells with the soft admission, and she tugs his arm, drawing him in, and wrapping her hand around the nape of his neck. His breath flutters against her skin as she plays with the fine hairs, silently assuring him that she's not going anywhere either. "Are you saying we have some more making up to do?"
Her amusement tickles his ear, sending a shiver through him, and he slides his palm down the curve of her spine, pulling her tighter against him. He's never been clingy with his affections before and Christ knows he's always had a hard time admitting what he's thinking, but he's not a stranger standing in her kitchen. She knows him, and after over a decade learning each other, it feels completely normal to say what he's feeling, and he pulls back so he can look at her properly. "I'm saying that you mean everything to me, Donna."
His openness catches her off guard, not for the first time this morning, but he already has the beginnings of a smirk on his lips, and she steals them fiercely beneath her mouth before he ruins the moment. He matches her enthusiasm, hoisting her up onto the counter, and the only downside is that if they don't draw the line somewhere, they're never going to make it out of her apartment. "We need to—" she breathes a smile into the kiss "—get dressed."
He makes note of the we, pulling back and heeding the warning as he rests his palms across her thighs. "You coming with me?" he asks, wondering if she's made a decision about going ahead with filing the suit against Pullman.
"I am," she confirms. Although she's nervous about his reaction, it doesn't change, and once again she's grateful for his unwavering support. "I want to talk to Samantha, at least meet her in person before I decide anything."
"It's a good idea," he agrees with a nod, pushing down the small part of him that wishes she'd reconsider letting him take the case. But he knows better than to push, taking the small wins where he can.
He doesn't have to say what he's thinking for her to sense it, but even if she were to change her mind, it would be an even worse idea having him represent her now. "Hey." She prods him gently. "There's a conflict of interest here, you know that."
She isn't wrong, her naked thighs claiming the point, and he raises an eyebrow, making a point of showing he's okay with taking a step back, at least professionally. "Remind me, again?"
"Stop it," she grins, reaching around to pick up her coffee and swallow another sip.
When he takes it off her to do the same, she takes advantage of the fact he's semi-distracted to jump off the bench, placing her lips close to his ear. "Maybe I'll remind you in your office later."
He almost chokes on the liquid, his pupils dilating as she struts away, throwing a suggestive look over her shoulder, and he abandons the beverage to trail after her, deciding a conflict of interest may indeed be worth handing the reins over to Samantha.
…
…
The ride up to the fiftieth floor is the same to Donna as it's always been—except it isn't. Before, she and Harvey might have stood a little too close, brushing the occasional shoulder when morning tiredness or late night exhaustion made them less stringent about distance. But two thirds of the way up, his fingers seek out hers, lacing their hands together with a gentle squeeze, and suddenly everything feels completely different, but in a good way. Her nerves are replaced by a quiet calm, and when the doors part, he lets go, lightly pressing the touch to the small of her back with a smile that blinds her to anything else.
He directs her to Samantha's office, the hum of people bustling around them barely registering. It's been far too long since they walked the halls together, and nostalgia washes over him, spreading the grin on his face for whoever they pass to see.
"You're enjoying this," she points out, amusement twitching her lips.
He shrugs, not denying the comment. Having her beside him feels right, even if she's not looking to take her former job back, but he can't help planting a seed of suggestion. "Just like old times."
"Not exactly." She skates her fingers against his knuckles, smiling as he stops to knock on the door in front of them. She goes in first, ready to introduce herself, but Harvey beats her to the introduction.
"Samantha, this is Donna—"
"Paulsen." The blonde supplies, pushing up from her chair with a curious eye washing over the pair. She's never met the woman before, but it doesn't take much to peg the redhead as the fiery former employee she's heard so much about. "You're the reason he won't hire a new COO." She folds her arms, leaning against the desk and ignoring Harvey's eye-roll.
"We have a temp," he defends, but Samantha eyes him, as if saying it's a weak excuse at best.
"Who you know is useless."
Donna turns to Harvey, reading the annoyance that flickers briefly across his face. He isn't good with change, is worse when someone deems to call him out on the flaw, but it's been months, and even though she feels a strange pull at the fact he still isn't ready to make the commitment, she encourages him on behalf of Samantha with a gentle nudge. "Harvey."
He inwardly flinches, not wanting to consider a permanent replacement—not now her career is in even more of a flux at Simpson and Parker, but he figures there's no harm in appeasing the situation. "I'll look into it."
Donna slants her head at him, seeing straight through the guise, and he answers the reaction with a sigh. "I'll find a better suited temp, today," he adds, hoping to bargain with the compromise.
"Gretchen has a list."
Her gaze is more firm, telling him it's not up for negotiation, but there's a gleam in her eyes that says they can discuss it later, in private, and his frustration wavers because he realizes there's going to be a later—just the two of them, either at his place or hers, talking about their future, and suddenly facing the task of a quick fix isn't quite as daunting. "I'll sort it."
Samantha watches the exchange, waiting until he vacates the room and is out of earshot before commenting on her surprise. "Wow. You are good." She's not in the habit of leaning on gossip, but from what she just witnessed, the firm might genuinely be at a disadvantage if Harvey keeps his word. "Even Robert's been too afraid to mention the giant pink elephant in the room."
"But not you?" Donna queries, ignoring the fact she was just referred to as an elephant, and getting a sense of why Harvey suggested she should meet the woman. The blonde clearly doesn't intimidate easily and obviously has a good grasp of when is the perfect time to air her grievances.
"I get the feeling his bark is worse than his bite." Samantha comments, suspecting the former COO has a fair idea of what she's hinting at. She hasn't been working with Harvey that long, but after a shaky start they seem to have found a more solid foundation recently, a mutual respect for each other, and the redhead confirms her assumption—that Harvey's loyal to a fault when he eventually places his trust in someone.
"Helps if you carry around a treat or two in your pocket," Donna offers, her mouth winding around a small smile at the analogy.
Samantha smirks at the advice, throwing herself into the friendly banter. "Think I could teach him to play fetch?"
"Please—" Donna quips back "—the man can't even learn his own phone number."
Samantha decides then and there that she likes the redhead more than most people already. Anyone who can get Harvey Specter to do something without a subpoena deserves a medal, and she pushes off the desk, moving back around to her chair. "So, now that I owe you—"
"You don't." Donna shakes her head, dismissing the suggestion All she did was correct a mistake she and Harvey made which impacted somebody else, but she doesn't deny she sought out the blonde with a different intention than smoothing things over. "But there is something I wanted to discuss, if you have time?"
Samantha motions opposite her, and Donna breathes out, moving to take the seat and smoothing down her dress as she crosses her legs together, diving straight into the problem."I want to file a class action suit against a director at Simpson and Parker, Collin Pullman, over a sexual harassment claim." She pauses, correcting herself. "Or I did—" she amends, "—until they fired me."
"Because of the case?" Samantha questions, confused by why the dismissal would be a deterrent if the redhead no longer works at S&P.
"Not exactly." Donna admits, trying to think of a way to take the heat off Harvey. But from everything she's surmised since entering Samantha's office, the woman is a straight-shooter, so she's upfront in return. "Harvey went around there and punched the guy's lights out."
Samantha nods, deducting what she can from the statement. Harvey has a temper, she's seen that much for herself, but he's a damn good lawyer, and wouldn't jeopardise a case unless something serious provoked him, and she quickly puts two and two together. "Pullman, he hurt you?"
"Not badly." Donna swallows, subconsciously grasping her wrist. The physical evidence is minor, and she's been trying not to let whatever Pullman's intentions had been plague her. Dwelling won't help, and she'd settled the matter very clearly between them, relaying the facts as they'd happened. "He grabbed me, I kneed him in the crown jewels. He left some bruises, but that's all."
The account is delivered without a waver, but there's a flicker of hesitation in the redhead's gaze that Samantha empathises with. They're similar, both proud and independent women, but that in no way excuses Pullman's behaviour, and she isn't about to dismiss the serious nature of what allegedly happened. "Assault is still assault, Donna."
She nods, appreciating the gentle but firm hand. The reason she'd wanted to file the suit in the first place is because she knows Colin's behaviour was inexcusable, and she's almost embarrassed to admit she's now reconsidering filing the claim, but she needs Samantha to understand her choice isn't that black and white. "I was offered my job back and a verbal apology if I drop the case. If I don't, they're going to do everything they can to discredit me."
"They threatened you, which means they're worried." Samantha observes, leaning back thoughtfully, and eyeing the woman seriously. "What do they have?"
Donna inhales slowly, ready to come clean with her mistakes, if only to justify them to herself. "A felony charge for impersonating an NTSB agent, which was dropped, and I was fired for destroying evidence that turned out to be planted."
The admittance isn't great, but Samantha doesn't flinch, the ask just as much a test to confirm what she already suspected of the redhead's character—that Donna wouldn't bullshit a claim unless it was warranted. "What about the other incidents?" she asks, diving in deeper. "Do you know if anyone has ever filed a police report?"
She doesn't, and folds her hands together wishing she had something more concrete to offer. All she knows is the titbits she'd managed to wrangle from people willing to talk, who are unlikely to do the same now, which leaves them at a disadvantage. "As far as I've heard, they're just complaints."
The admittance is another fact that doesn't sway things in their favour but from everything Samantha's heard, Pullman has a track record. There's bound to be something buried in his past, they just need to find and uncover the dirt so Donna is on an even playing field. "I can look into Pullman further, do some digging before we lodge anything official?
The blonde sinks back in her chair with a flash of confidence that reminds Donna of Harvey in his younger days. Before Mike came along and softened his edges. But right now she doesn't want morally objective. She needs someone to be ruthless, who will make sure Collin thinks twice about manipulating a woman to get what he wants, and she feels more confident knowing the blonde is on her side. "I'd really appreciate that, Samantha. Thank you."
She watches Donna stand, curiosity poised on her tongue as the redhead takes a step towards the door, and she lets it slip free, not just for the sake of interest, but in case there's any potential for her suspicions to cause problems down the line. "I know it's none of my business—" she waits for the former COO to turn back around "—but is there a reason you're bringing this to me and not Harvey? Aside from him hulking out on Pullman."
"There is." Donna feels her cheeks flush but can't help the corners of her mouth lifting. "A conflict of interest."
The reason is nondescript but Samantha pegs it regardless, once again appreciating the woman's honesty. As far as she was aware Harvey was in a relationship with someone else until recently, but she doesn't need an overzealous gossip mill to sway what she'd seen in the five minutes Donna and Harvey were standing in front of her. So long as Harvey's on board with letting her take charge, then she's glad the pair have navigated their way back to each other. "I'll let you know what I find."
Donna nods, trusting she's going down the right path. She hadn't doubted Harvey's recommendation, but she's been at war with what to do, and having another perspective springs forward a reminder that she needs to call Rachel.
She misses her best friend, and the last time the two of them had sat down together, her life had been on a completely different trajectory. Things have changed, and not in the way she was expecting them to, but as she exits Samantha's office, meeting Harvey's gaze on his way back from Gretchen's desk, she knows that whatever is coming; she has the strength to face it.
AN: I kinda forgot that Donna and Samantha hadn't met in this AU, hoping I've done them justice! Thank you to Southsidesister (darvey_love) and everyone encouraging and supporting this story :) xx