~Author's Note~

For the prompt "beginnings", I wrote something about Sakuya and the many possible beginnings she could have experienced. A few months later, when the amount of sneaky antisemitism Attack on Titan was riddled with had truly sunk in, I rewrote the opening passage to reference Pacific Rim instead.

~What Are Little Girls Maid Of?~

"You and your sister were the best pilots we ever had, you know. I'm sure you'll still be a force to be reckoned with."

Flandre had her doubts, but held her tongue as she followed Eirin into the bustling command centre. A few people looked up as they approached, but most eyes were on the boxing ring at the far side of the room where Tokiko and Nazrin were rolling on the floor, trapped in a mutual headlock.

"As for your new partner," said Eirin, "we have some... promising candidates, one of whom is sure to be drift-compatible with you. Take Kurumi, for example. She's a vampire as well, aren't you?"

"No bullshit, mate! I'm a fair dinkum vampire, straight up." Kurumi romped over to Flandre and held out her hand. "Who are you, then?"

"Um... Flandre," said Flandre, shaking it.

Kurumi's smile vanished. "Flanno? What, like the top? But you're in a blouse, ya drongo! Honestly, I really hate ya now. Think yer so much better'n me just because yer old man was Dracula?! Fight me or piss off!"

Eirin and Flandre stared in amazement as Kurumi hopped into the ring, stumbling as her wings got caught on the rope. Nazrin gave her a hand. Tokiko watched and laughed.

"I don't have to fight her, do I?" said Flandre.

"Well..." Eirin winced a little. "We do choose drift partners through sparring now. I think it would do Kurumi some good to blow off steam, honestly, unless you see somebody else?"

"Well..." Flandre took a gander at the small crowd, who by now were watching Tokiko restrain Kurumi from punching Nazrin. A silver-haired woman in a white and dark blue dress met her gaze and smiled. "What about her with the plaits?"

"Oh, Sakuya's not participating. She's just the maid for now," said Eirin quickly. "How about Sanae? You need a strong, capable partner-"

"Like me," muttered Sakuya.

"Shut up. You need a strong, capable partner, Flandre. Someone like Sanae, or Clownpiece, or indeed Kurumi..."

"Why not Sakuya?"

Eirin pursed her lips. "Dramatic tension demands that I keep Sakuya out of the action for as long as possible, so unless you know something I- AUGH!"

A dazed Kurumi flew into Eirin's stomach, bringing her down in a painful heap.

Flandre laughed nervously. "I think this Sakuya has her own take on dramatic tension, Eirin."

"Oh, God..." Peering as best she could over the unconscious vampire, Eirin watched as Sakuya tied Nazrin's legs up in her tail, kneed Tokiko in the stomach and threw them both among the computers.

"Wow..." breathed Flandre. "Sakuya... You're incredible! She's my partner, Eirin."

Sakuya smiled. "Come along, then, and I'll beat you senseless to cement our friendship."

"Out of the question!" barked Eirin. She threw Kurumi aside and rose to her feet. "Don't you understand, Sakuya?! You're too valuable to me! You're my-"

"Can I just stop you there, Flandre?"

"Huh? Why?!"

"Well, for starters, none of this ever happened. I never died, Kurumi was never Australian and if one of us had died fighting in a giant robot, it would've been you!" snapped Remilia. "And Sakuya never worked for Eirin either. As a young woman, she was... Um..."

"What was she?" asked Alice.

"Um..." Remilia frowned. "Come to think of it, I don't know. I don't remember her ever being young. I don't... Was there ever a time when she wasn't the way she is now?"

"Well... There has to have been, doesn't there? Everyone has to be born, be a child, do the growing and things, right?" said Flandre contemplatively.

"Only if we view time in a linear sense." Alice uncrossed her legs, leaned forwards and crossed them over the other way. "Sakuya doesn't need to do that, does she? Maybe her life never 'began' in the way we would think of it."

"Who are we talking about?" From out of nowhere, Sakuya was standing on top of the coffee table.

"OH, MY GODS!" screamed Alice, leaping back in her chair hard enough to overturn it.

"We were just wondering," said Remilia levelly, "where exactly you came from?"

Sakuya blinked. "Why, I thought you would remember, seeing as you were there when it all went down."

"Went...?" Remilia numbly repeated.

"...Down?" said Flandre, dumbstruck.

"Don't you remember?"

Remilia and Flandre shook their heads.

"Well, then, I suppose I shall have to give you both an in-depth retelling of my entire backstory," said Sakuya resignedly. "Ms Margatroid as well, since she's here. Are you all ready?"

Flandre's face lit up. "As I've ever been!"

"It is about time we heard it," agreed Remilia.

"Then I'll tell you." Sakuya hopped down from the table and took a seat. "Let's see, now, it all started when my mother was visited by a strange, silver-haired maiden who claimed to be from..."

"...and my sandals as well, but still the cat spoke to me and urged me to take up the Luna Dial. That morning, I decided I would try..."

"...but when I looked over my shoulder, he was still gaining on me. Trapped between a painful death from plummeting into the Grand Canyon and the greater pain of disappointing my parents, all I could think to do was pretend that..."

"...And what, I hear you ask, did I hope to find in the jungle? To tell you the truth, I had no idea, but a large pink flower caught my eye. As soon as I touched it, however, thick vines bedecked with sharp thorns ruptured into the tunnel..."

"...nothing I could do, and to make matters worse, her fate was entirely my fault. As I watched helplessly, the life drained from my master's face. All the twins left behind was a cracked grey statue. Later that day, it was decided that we would..."

"...my own uncle! While I could scarcely believe it, my dearly departed father's words brooked no disbelief, and I soon saw the truth for what it was. Without a moment's hesitation, I slew my uncle and eloped with Ophelia. During our honeymoon, however, events took a highly unusual turn..."

"...not one, not two, but three of the foul bronze vessels materialised before us in a shower of golden sparks. I could see the fear in my co-pilot's eyes. Just one bronze craft had been enough to..."

"...like shimmering rubies! And her arms, so strong, like the boughs of an oak tree! My sweet Meiling, how I had longed for her touch-"
"Sakuya, for pity's sake, skip ahead!"
"Oh, all right."

"...The room did not, however, contain anything close to what I expected. The men and their gorilla had set up a printing press and were churning out bank notes by the dozen. I shivered in my kilt. What could I hope to..."

"...was the first to arrive, and as you might expect, I had done things properly. A second-hand Triumph Dolomite 2000, as reliable as ever a car was forged, sold for fewer pounds than its number! As per the producers' orders, I awaited Captain Slow and the Hamster at..."

"...only to find that there was not an ancient horn but a message, instructing me to meet my contact at the inn. With no more encouraging clues to go on, I took a short nap and headed back to..."

"...But the metal egg was still there, and the blue-haired girl was still staring out through the window with that same distant look on her face. To my amazement, she spoke, asking me to release her from..."

"...I found my friends gathered around the picnic tables as usual, but it soon became apparent that something was wrong. Instead of the celebration I was expecting, 'Spring Cleaning Day' had been declared. So I stabbed the long-eared dictator and went out to buy some Easter eggs..."

"...but just then, when I thought all hope was lost, the former slaves rallied around me. 'I am Sakuya!' 'No, I am!' 'I'm Sakuya and so's my wife!', they chorused. I could hardly hold back my tears of..."

"...clean over his head and onto the giant axe! It struck the bridge with a terrible force, sending my ancient foe tumbling into his own moat of lava. My work was not yet done, though, so I rushed into the castle and..."

"...And found myself here, in this room, recounting my history to you. While every word I have spoken was true, I cannot promise all of it happened in the same timeline, nor the same universe, nor about the same iteration of Sakuya."

"Wh... WHAT?!" Remilia leapt to her feet in what would have been a towering rage if she was more that four foot nothing. "Why didn't you tell us?!"

"Nobody asked." Sakuya winked and flashed her listeners a dazzling smile. "Now, Alice, I believe you mentioned an egg custard tart with plum jam."

"Hold on! At least tell us the truth!" Flandre cut her off. "Are you Eirin's daughter?"

For a brief moment, Sakuya seemed lost. Then she smiled and slowly shook her head. "It was nothing like that. Eirin was my synchronised swimming coach at primary school."