cours particulier

(December 2020)

This is hell. My own personal French hell.

Kagome looked down at the page in her French book. No, she didn't understand it at all. She didn't even understand, what she didn't understand.

Okay, don't panic Kagome. You can do this.

"Keh, you really don't know the easiest things, do you Higurashi?" It was impossible to not catch the smugness in Inuyasha Taisho's voice, who sat facing her, his arms crossed over the chair's backrest.

How did she end up here again? In this empty classroom, at 5 in the afternoon, being tutored by her sister's ex-boyfriend in French while a small blizzard raved outside. The perfect start for the Christmas vacation, indeed.

"Au contraire, I do," she hissed angrily at him, her eyes still on her French book. Oh, she could almost feel the smirk in his face, as if it was running down the back of her neck. Stupid idiot. Kagome hated how she could feel his gaze on her, almost as if his hands touched her bare skin.

Keep cool, Kagome, don't slap him, you still need him.

If she only hadn't failed the last test. She had already failed math for this semester and if she would fail at French too, she wouldn't be able to pass the grade. This tutoring was necessary but why did her teacher have to choose someone like Inuyasha to help her catch up? Why not some friendly, sensitive girl? No, it had to be the class' top pupil who was the school's top playboy at the same time and to make matters worse – her big sister's ex-boyfriend.

It had been an embarrassing situation from the start. She had been in the classroom before him and when he finally entered, he had frozen at the threshold. If she hadn't been so pissed about the whole situation, she had laughed at his confused expression. But then he had finally opened his mouth and spluttered out the name she wanted to hear the least.

"K… Kikyo?" He had almost choked when he said her sister's name.

Always. ALWAYS this mistaken identity. On the other hand, it was funny because people used to say that her sister was more beautiful than she was herself. So, it's actually a compliment if people mistake me for her, isn't it, she had thought with rage.

"I'm Kagome Higurashi," she had hissed angrily. She had had enough of this already. He even knew her from the time Kikyo had introduced him to her family. Or, he should have known her. Guys like Inuyasha Taisho don't remember all the girls they meet, do they? He surely can't recall their names at all, can he? Not even from those whom he fu –

"You are not Kikyo?" He had still looked at her completely baffled as he interrupted her thoughts.

Oh please.

Kagome grinded her teeth so much that she was afraid they were going to break. "It's Ka-go-me. You know me, Inuyasha. I'm Kikyo's little sister. You met me when she introduced you to our family, remember?" That had been about one year ago. Kagome's cheeks turned red when she only thought about how she must have looked at him by that time. Like a silly sheep looking at Prince Charming. God, I hate this guy so much, why is he that good-looking? His look doesn't fit his personality at all. Indeed, he had broken up with Kikyo in such a brutal way, that her sister had cried for weeks.

"Kagome Higurashi?", it looked like his brain finally started working again. Slowly, very slowly.

"Now you got it boy," she had snorted.

"Kagome Higurashi…", he asked and finally the macho smirk had returned to his face when he shut the door and walked as bad boy as possible towards her seat. "Kikyo's little sister, huh?"

If I was paid 100 yen for every time someone calls me that way, I'd be rich by now.

That had been about half an hour ago. At the moment, she didn't know whom she wanted to slap more: Inuyasha or the teacher who got her into this French hell.

"Come on, Higurashi. Tell me what the subjonctif is used for."

Oh, you stupid jerk.

"Well, if I knew it, then I wouldn't be sitting here, would I?" Kagome almost spat the words in his face which made his smirk even wider.

"You got no idea, do ya?"

How would she? She wasn't half French like him. That lucky boy had grown up with that singsong language since he was a baby. As far as she knew (which meant as far as school gossip went), Inuyasha's mother was from France. During one of his business travels, the big boss of the Inu-Company had met the beautiful French women who had later became Inuyasha's mother. Since the big boss already had a wife, it had been quite a scandal and as far as everyone knew, Inuyasha's mother had disappeared short after the affair came to light. It seemed however, that she had lived long enough together with her son, to teach him her mother tongue. And it was obvious that someone who was that fluent in French, wouldn't understand her problems with the language.

"Now Higurashi, if you say please, I might explain it to you." The amusement in his voice was almost unbearable.

But you need his help, Kagome. You need him, so that you will pass the next test. Keep cool and work your way through it.

"Could you please explain it to me?" She almost bit her tongue.

"Well, well," he grinned, "if you ask me so nicely, I can't refuse to help you. Attention now, you use the subjonctif to express that something might happen. On the other hand, you would use the indicatif to express that you are certain something will happen. It's easy, isn't it?"

Kagome blinked. "No, it's not. How the hell do I know when to use what?"

"Keh," he sighed annoyed, rolling his pretty golden eyes. "You would know in a certain situation if something is likely to happen or not, wouldn't you?"

Kagome still stared as him with her big grey eyes and raised an eyebrow. Why can't this guy speak plainly? Oh, someone get me out of this French fucking hell.

"Okay, here's an example: Subjonctif would be like, Je doute que tu comprennes cela. [I doubt, that you understand this]. If you want to use the Indicatif for this, you have to say it this way: Je suis sûr que tu ne comprends pas. [I am sure, that you don't understand this]."

Fine, and what did this mean? He spoke so fast, that it was hard for her to follow. The second sentence was somewhat clear for her but the first one seemed to contain word variations she didn't know. Kagome clenched her teeth and looked at him defiantly. Maybe she didn't understand anything, but she wouldn't show any weakness but hold his gaze.

He looked back at her, slowly raising an eyebrow and then shaking his head. "Keh, are you really Kikyo's sister? She would have understood it twice by now."

Sure. My great sister. The gorgeous, beloved and excellent Kikyo. Oh, she was so sick of hearing this every day. From her mother, from her grandfather, from her little brother, from foreigners who visited the family's temple, praising Kikyo's virtue and grace running she shrine. Did someone ever mention her? The little sister? No, not at all.

Inuyasha seemed to notice her anger and continued with a nasty smile. "No, wait, Kikyo wouldn't be here at all because she is not so dumb as to fail her French test."

"Precious, beautiful, incredible Kikyo! When she was so flawless, so perfect, then why did you leave her?"

It took some time for Kagome to realize, that she had spoken out her thoughts loudly. It was his face, which changed from now to then to a stoned mask, which told her that she went too far.

But it's true, right? He left her. She cried so much, didn't she? Didn't I try to cheer her up back then? Didn't she lay in my arms, sobbing over her great love leaving her? She was there, tears running down her face when she told me howhe left her, laughing at the nothingness of their relationship.

But why did his golden eyes suddenly turn so cold? Why did his gaze, mischievous and cocky one second ago, suddenly turn stone hard the next?

Inuyasha Taisho opened his mouth, but it took a while for the words to come out of it. His voice sounded dry. As if he was lost in a waste, craving for water. "The subjontif is used when you talk of a possibility, of wishes, insecurities but also in case of necessities. Il est nécessaire que j'oublie ta sœur. [It's necessary, that I forget your sister.]. In this case oublier stays the same way as it would be in the indicatif. Actually, it's pretty simple. If you want to build the subjonctif, you have to use the 3rd person plural and then put the respective ending behind it: e, es, e, ions, iez, ent."

When she faced him, his eyes looked dead and this scared her. It looked like he noticed her chivvied gaze as he added. "It looks like you are not familiar at all with the vocabulary of the last two leçons. I'd say, we end it for today. Go and learn the vocabulary over the weekend. I will test you on Monday and if the vocabulary sticks in your head by then, we'll continue with the grammar."

With that being said, he stood up, took his bag and jacket and left the classroom, leaving her alone with a sudden emptiness she couldn't explain.

It had snowed the entire weekend so that the world looked like an enchanted winter wonderland. When Kagome opened the front door, the courtyard laid upon her silent and pure as if covered with a white blanket. She inhaled the fresh air and walked leisurely towards the long stairs which lead down to the street. A light breeze blew, and some loose snowflakes floated down from the Tree of Ages. Everything was peaceful and white and beautiful.

This is what heaven must look like… and I am on the way to hell. French hell. Hallelujah.

The whole weekend had been filled with French vocabulary. Kagome was sure that she knew all of them blindfolded by now.

Alright, I'll prove to Inuyasha that I am not stupid and that I am certainly second to no one. Not even to my sister.

While dish washing on Friday evening, Kagome had shyly asked her sister about Inuyasha. She had expected that her sister would punt or shut down due to that topic. But she had smiled gently as always and asserted: "You don't have to be so careful with me. I am over him now. Thinking of him doesn't even hurt anymore." Her sister had gently touched Kagome's wrist. "There is nothing to worry about. If he can help you to improve your French, then I appreciate that." Kikyo's calm brown eyes had not hinted any displeasure. "Just try to concentrate on the language itself. You can't be blamed for where our relationship went." She had looked at her with all of her sisterly love and Kagome had returned a loving smile.

"Oh," Kikyo added, "and don't let him provoke you. He can be… difficult."

Kagome had huffed about this statement. "You mean he is a total jerk. I wanted to punch him about three times."

Kikyo had broken out in a bell-like laughter and Kagome couldn't help but join her sister. It was true, that she was jealous of her sister, but she loved her deeply and was so happy, that she existed. Kagome had taken Kikyo's advice to heart and had come up with the conclusion that her sister was right. Their relationship had nothing to do with her and her number one priority was to pass the next test for now. And if she needed Inuyasha's help for this, fine. She would prove that she was able to pass any test. And she would pass it with flying colours!

Just when Kagome carefully took the last step on the snowy stairs, a car stopped next to her. It wasn't a cheap car, it was more of a luxury car. She didn't know much about cars, but this silver dream looked very expensive. Before she could think further, a tinted window rolled down and revealed Inuyasha behind the wheel. Oh right, he was a year above her, she forgot. Of course, he was already 18 and therefore allowed to drive.

"Hey," he said blandly.

"Hey," she replied with the same inflection.

How now? Does he want to show off his pretty car like "Uh, look I am the rich prince and I drive to school while you poor little Cinderella have to walk"? Kikyo told me not to rise to his provocation. Keep cool, Kagome. Just –

"Get in," he quickly moved his head in her direction to underline the request.

Wait, what?

Before Kagome knew what was happening, her legs moved on their own as did her hand which opened the car door. Suddenly she sat on a leather seat next to Inuyasha who drove on and led the car towards their school.

To be honest, she had expected him to drive quite rough, but she had to admit that his driving style was pretty decent. Probably she should thank him for giving her a lift to school. Yes, she should do that.

Before she could start, he began to hum and haw: "Well, you know, ehem… I think I want to apologize for my behavior on Friday."

Now, that was the last thing she had expected him to say.

"Well, I wasn't all…polite either," she replied with a little smile.

This seemed to break the ice between them a bit, since he started to laugh. "You make a point there. But after all your little tantrum was fun to watch. It was an unusual heavy emotional outburst for a girl like you. Really, you are nothing like -," he stopped in the middle of the sentence and looked sheepishly on the road.

After an unbearable silence Kagome plucked up courage and said, "I am nothing like my sister because I am not my sister. I am not Kikyo, I am Kagome. People often compare us, and I am sick of it because… you know because… she always fares better than me." She felt a tear running down her cheek and brushed it away rashly. Why did speaking it out affect her so deeply? And to cap it all in the presence of Inuyasha. The guy who had been in a relationship with her sister and to whom she, Kagome, of course looked like a cheap version of the great Kikyo as well.

He looked at her from the corner of his eyes and Kagome rubbed her cheek dry as another tear welled out of her eye.

No, no, no. Don't say anything. God, why do I weep so easily?

Without a word, he handed her package of paper handkerchiefs over. With a little sob, she took it. Their fingers touched each other for a brief second and both of them winced over the touch.

Hello, what was that? I only took the handkerchiefs, no big deal. It was just an ephemeral moment that my fingers touched his… She glanced across at him, observed his hands on the steering wheel. His hands with this long, elegant fingers – Wait Kagome, don't make a mistake. He has hands like everyone has hands. I mean, everyone has fingers, right?

But were all fingers that elegant? She wanted to bash her head against the window so badly right now. But everything she could do was fiddling with the handkerchief. He must think, I'm crazy. Getting emotional because of such a nothingness.

"Sorry," her voice sounded weak and she hated herself for that, "usually I am not someone who bursts out into tears easily. Maybe it's the stress. You know, I –"

"I feel you there," he said, keeping his eyes glued to the road. "My older brother excels me in everything. I can do whatever I want, he will always be better." Inuyasha grimaced at the thought of his brother. "To be honest, I will never be able to hold a candle to him and I know that. But it hurts to be the second best all the time. And so," he turned around and looked at her with a knowing smile. "I totally understand your feelings in this situation."

Too flabbergasted to reply something, Kagome could only stare at him. And slowly, very slowly, a smile appeared on her face. "Thank you."

"Looks like we're comrades in suffering." His usual smirk had returned to his face and Kagome felt relieved to see him so easygoing again. Seeing him tensioned like before had made her heart sting for a reason she did not know.

With a relaxed sigh she decided to clothe her thoughts from before into words. "What luck. I was afraid you might think of me as –"

"Crazy?", he ended her sentence.

Kagome blinked in irritation. "Yes, that is exactly what I thought."

"Don't worry," he responded while parking in front of the school. "I'd never think something like that about you."

Relieved from that words, and acknowledging that she felt happier than she should, Kagome got out of the car and breathed in the cold winter air. It had started to snow again, and the flakes danced steady their way to the ground. She wanted to join their dance and started to spin, spin, spin, spin around while the snow around her painted the world in an innocent white.

"What the hell are you doing there, Kagome?"

Kagome. So, he had remembered her name after all.

She turned around with a cheering smile. "I think I am just happy at the moment, nothing more."

"Keh, you are really nothing like her," he scoffed but it didn't sound nasty, rather amused.

"No, I am myself." Kagome spun one last time, looking at the sky which was wide and white and full of snowflakes that melted on her face. "Then, how am I?"

"Huh?" Inuyasha rose an eyebrow but the smile didn't leave his lips.

"If I am not at all like my sister, how am I then?"

"Keh, you are lively and…"

"And?"

"And loud."

"Eh? No, I am not loud at all," Kagome yelled, hands on her hips.

Inuyasha smirked again as he walked towards the school building. "Yes, you are. You're loud, and noisy and effervescing."

"I am not," she retorted as she followed him.

"Irascible, weepy," he continued. His voice bubbled over from amusement, but it didn't come off as mean like it did on Friday. It sounded honest and joyful and Kagome knew he didn't tease her because he disliked her. Au contraire but because she was so completely different than Kikyo. And it seemed like he appreciated and maybe even liked that.

"So, if I am noisy and weepy, then you are cocky and macho," Kagome fluted as they reached the front door.

"Keh, I am not." He smirked and lowered his head to have a better look in her face.

"Yes, you are," now grinning too, Kagome rose her head and looked him in the eyes.

Fuck, such beautiful eyes. Don't you blush, girl.

"Are you blushing?"

"No, that's the cold."

"Of course." He absolutely didn't look as if he bought that. "But soon enough you will blush when I test you on the vocabulary."

"Ha!" she countered, "I've learned them so well that I won't fail a single word."

"Oh really?"

"Yes really."

"Well then," he held up the door open so that she could walk by. "Entrez, madame."

Feeling her heart racing so much more than it should, Kagome couldn't get the grin out of her face as she walked towards her very own special French hell.

Or was it heaven?

Hellu! This was my very first InuKag fic and it was a Secret Santa present for my beloved xXEmberstreakXx! So glad you liked it, Hunny 3

And it was supervised by my precious feathertayl, thank you so much for looking over it!

So as I said, this was my very first InuKag fanfiction and my third fic in total. Please review it and tell me how you liked it. The people who read it so far liked the characterization but I am still a bit unsure^^. While writing I got an idea to develop this into a longer on-going story. (I still think the ending feels rushed...). And I will do so if people like this... so please tell me if you did like it or not!

I wish all of you a merry Christmas and hope that at least some of you will have so much snow like Kagome and Inuyasha had in this story 3.

~ leni (ayasna)