"Kit, we need to talk about your plans to leave the village," Kuruma said.
"What? You don't have a problem with that, do you?" Naruto asked, startled out of his cloud gazing.
"Oh no, I love the idea. Screw this shitty village. The problem is how we leave," Kuruma said.
"What's so complicated? We decide to leave, and then we do. Yeah, they might follow, but ANBU already has trouble finding us and there is only so many hiding spots in this village," Naruto said.
"Idiot kit. How about the fact that you've never left the village and don't have a clue where anything is? While the ANBU does frequent patrols and missions throughout the area. Oh, and that they'll be trying a lot harder to find you than they do in the village," Kuruma said. "And you're planning on running away with that vixen, so you'll need to hide two people which is much more difficult."
"Fine, I get it," Naruto said, slumping. "What do you have in mind?"
"Something awful. I hate to do it, but I'm going to have to do something I promised I never would," Kuruma said, dramatically.
"Yeah? What?" Naruto asked, nervously.
"I'm going to have to teach you a ninjutsu," Kuruma said, closing his eyes as if he was under a terrible burden. He kept his left eye open a crack though, so he could see the ecstatic grin that crossed Naruto's face.
"You will? Finally! Yes, this is just the best! So what are you going to teach me huh? A really powerful illusion? Or some kinda instant transmission? Oooh, maybe a crazy summoning technique?" Naruto babbled, happily.
"It's one of the oldest jutsus in existence. A jutsu long forgotten by modern ninja," Kuruma said, trying to control his grin. "A jutsu so weak and useless that nobody ever willingly learns it."
"Yes! Wait, what?" Naruto said, focusing once his brain caught up with Kuruma's words. "What do you mean useless? Why would you bother teaching me it then? What kind of jutsu is it even?"
"It's called the Flesh Clone Jutsu. And like the other clone jutsus it creates a clone of the user. Unlike the other clone jutsus, it is much more expensive chakra wise, the clone can't use any jutsus of its own, the body can't operate independently, it requires quite a bit of prep time, and most importantly, it leaves behind a body when it's destroyed," Kuruma said, smugly.
"Why is that important?" Naruto asked, confused.
"Because kit," Kuruma laughed, "we are going to fake your death."
/*/
A couple of weeks had passed since Hinata had her 'duel' with Hanabi. In that time Naruto went to check on Hinata multiple times, but each time he was driven off by over zealous Hyuuga guards. Hinata herself seemed fine, her emotions didn't seem any more distressed than normal. A little frustrated perhaps, but if anything she was calmer and happier than she usually was. Until one day he caught a flash of pain and sadness from her.
Screw subtly! I'm not letting them hurt Hinata! Naruto thought as channeled his chakra through his body. A hand of chakra launched out of his body, propelling his through the air. He landed on a rooftop and kept running to where Hinata's pain was coming from. To his surprise, he wasn't headed towards the Hyuuga estates, but towards one of the public training grounds. He frowned as he got close. Two more people were in agonizing pain. And here we go! He thought, launching himself sky high. He arched through the air as he gathered his chakra around him in a shield. He slammed into the ground, sending dirt flying. As the dust settled, he shaped the chakra around his body into the crude image of a fox, his chakra arm forming the tail.
"What do you think you're doing to Hinata?" he growled.
"Naruto?" Hinata asked, concussed and confused. She was lying in the dirt, having just been knocked down by Neji. Before anyone could react, Naruto's chakra tail shot forward, wrapped around Hinata, and pulled her back behind him. He looked for the source of the agonizing pain, and was surprised to see two women of the Hyuuga clan lying unconscious in the dirt.
"Demon! Release her at once!" an older Hyuuga demanded. He radiated hate towards both Naruto and Hinata.
"Like hell I will," Naruto growled through clenched teeth. His tail waved in the air, preparing to strike at any hostile movement. The old man's face went red, but Neji just stared blankly at Naruto. He too was radiating hate and anger but it wasn't directed at anyone in particular.
"You have no right to interfere with Hinata's training," Neji said.
"What training? That bastard there hates her and is just having you beat on her. And you really need a better way to work off all that pent up aggression," Naruto shot back, getting Neji's eye to twitch.
"It is not your place to question our methods demon," the old Hyuuga sneered.
"It's my place to do whatever I want," Naruto said, grinning insolently. "But if you really want me to leave, go ahead and make me." As Naruto spoke, a second tail formed behind him.
"Demon, you'd go so far as to defy an elder of one of the founding clans?" the Hyuuga Elder asked, his voice shaking with outrage. "The Hokage will hear about this!"
That could be trouble. Annoyed teachers is one thing, the Hyuuga clan is another. He'd have to respond, the clans wouldn't let him just ignore them, Naruto thought. He paused, and then grinned widely.
"No you won't," he said, letting his chakra dissipate and standing up normally. "You won't even make a complaint to your own clan head."
"What?"
"If this training was legitimate, you'd be doing it on your own clan training grounds," Naruto said, with the biggest grin yet. "And there wouldn't be two unconscious...Hyuugans? What is the plural for your clan anyways? Whatever, there wouldn't be two unconscious people over there," he added, gesturing to the fallen women. "So why don't you stop bluffing, and slink away before I talk to the Hokage about what happened here."
"Hmmph," the old man snorted. "You underestimate us. We may not be able to take this to official authorities but there is nothing stopping us from beating you down with force and then continuing on with our plans for Hinata."
"I underestimate you?" Naruto laughed. His chakra reformed around him, the tail drawing a simple circle around himself. "How about this? Neji there gets one punch. If he can't make me leave this circle with that punch the the two of you back off and never bother Hinata again."
"And when I succeed?" Neji asked, beginning to move towards Naruto.
"I never help Hinata again," Naruto said, without hesitation.
"Nor talk to her," the old man added. "She will no longer shame our family by associating with a demon," he said, spitting on the ground.
"Agreed. Come on and give me your best shot Neji!" Naruto declared. Neji didn't say anything just dashing forward, a blue glow surrounding his hand as he threw an open palmed strike.
Bang!
The blow exploded against Naruto's chakra, clouding them both in a smokescreen of dust. When it faded, Naruto was still standing in the circle, his arms crossed and smirking. Neji stood nearly a meter away, the palm of his hand bleeding as it strained against Naruto's chakra shield.
"You cheated! Demon!" The old man protested.
"I cheated?" Naruto laughed again. "I thought you were supposed to be ninja. You should know there's no such thing as cheating. Just clever tactics and sore losers."
"You-"
"Neji already proved he can't break my shield," Naruto interrupted. He raised his arm, forming a claw of chakra around it. "Now do you want to see if he can handle my punch?" he asked, forcing chakra into his throat to make his voice guttural and demonic. He smiled as he felt the fear and panic radiating from the old man. Without another word, he turned and walked away. Neji moved to follow him, before pausing.
"I suppose you would be the source of that new found confidence of Hinata's," Neji said, giving a polite bow to Naruto. "You are doing her no favors by protecting her. She is fated to be a failure, and her pain shall be all the greater for her resistance."
"You are the most depressing person I've ever met, and I hang out with Sasuke," Naruto responded. Neji gave him a confused glance, before leaving as well.
"N-naruto," Hinata said, swaying slightly as she tried to stand up.
"Whoa, Hinata, take it easy," Naruto said, rushing over to support her.
"N-no time," she said, shaking her head and wincing. "I've got to release the seal."
"What seal?" Naruto asked. Rather than respond, Hinata stumbled her way over to the fallen women with Naruto's help. She made a couple of hand signs over them, and their agony immediately disappeared. "What was that?"
"The Caged Bird Seal," Hinata said, slurring her words a little bit. She sat down and leaned against Naruto. "It's place on all the branch house members and it lets the main branch do things like that. Paralyze their body, send them pain, even kill them outright."
"That's awful!"
"Yes. It's why Neji's so angry. He's a genius but because he was born in the branch house he has to endure that seal," Hinata muttered. "He also isn't trained properly. He's had to teach himself nearly everything. The Elders only bother teaching the main house the full techniques of the Gentle Fist."
"So what's his bone to pick with you? I get that he blames the main house for all of that, but you didn't do anything like that," Naruto asked.
"I am everything he is not. Weak, shy, with no talent. And a member of the main house. Really, at first, I was a vindication to him. The house system was ridiculous, and I was proof. But now people are praising me for my weakness, saying it has made me wise and that I'll be a good leader. I think that's driving Neji crazy," Hinata said, radiating worry.
"I guess that makes sense. But what happened at the duel with Hanabi anyways?" Naruto asked. Hinata told him what had happened and how everyone reacted. By the time she had finished the two unconscious women were coming around.
"Mistress Hinata is the hope of the branch family," the first one said. "if she becomes the head of the main family, she will surely end the usage of the Caged Bird Seal."
"We tried to protect her, but that man..." the second cried, punching the ground in frustration. "He just activated the seal and left us writhing in pain, helpless to do anything but watch."
"Okay first off, who are you two?" Naruto asked bluntly.
"I'm sorry my lord. I am called Navi," the first one said, sitting upright and bowing.
"And I am Nillin," the other said.
"My lord?" Naruto and Hinata said, glancing at each other.
"I'm sorry, I don't know the proper honorifics for a demon," Navi said, bowing again. Naruto blinked at her, stunned. Other than Hinata, this was the first time a human had called him a demon and meant it as a compliment.
"You protected Lady Hinata when we could not," Nillin explained. "And it's clear she draws immense strength from your presence. If the Lady needs you to succeed, then so does the branch family."
"Thanks, I guess. Um, just call me Naruto," Naruto said, to the howling gales of Kuruma's laughter. He looked between the two Hyuuga women, feeling their hope and loyalty towards Hinata, and Hinata's discomfort in return. "Do you mind giving us some privacy?"
"Not at all, Naruto," Navi said, formally. "We shall stand guard and do our best to ensure no one else spies on your conversation." The Hyuuga women left the training arena with Naruto keeping track of their emotions to make sure they actually left.
"So..." Naruto started awkwardly.
"Hmm," Hinata agreed. They sat in awkward silence for a few more minute.
"Arrgh, this is stupid. Okay, first off, I'm really glad things worked out with Hanabi," Naruto finally blurted out. "That's great. That's awesome. Second, I am super pissed off at that Elder guy. If he, or any other Elder for that matter, tries to pull any of that crap again, you tell me alright?" Naruto paused until Hinata nodded, her eyes wide. "Okay. Finally, I am ultra mega pissed off at your entire clan. That seal is disgusting. Like they've basically enslaved most of the clan, and what, the Hokage has just allowed this? Why? Why is this even a thing?"
"Ummm, it's so if a Hyuuga is captured or killed in battle, they can't steal our eyes to use for their own," Hinata said, nervously poking her fingers together.
"Bullshit," Naruto said. "If that was true, it wouldn't need to do any of that extra stuff. Causing pain and what not. But even then, who cares? So other ninja can use your fancy eyes. Whoop de doo. So they can see better than normal. That's not worth tormenting your own family members with some crazy seal."
"I agree," Hinata said, relaxing back against Naruto. "It's created a rift in the Hyuuga clan between the branch family and the main family. One that will one day shatter the clan unless it's mended."
"And do you want to be the one to do it? To become the head of the clan, and save them from themselves?" Naruto asked, looking over into Hinata's eyes. She stayed silent, thinking it over.
"...No. Not really," Hinata finally admitted. "Forcing myself into being the head would require a lot of fighting. It would require forcing Hanabi to the branch house. I would have to argue with people, overcome their constant abuse and anger, convince them to abandon centuries of tradition, sooth their fears, and prove them wrong, again and again. It might be horribly selfish of me, but I don't want to give up my life to save a clan that doesn't really care about me."
"So do you still want to run away with me?" Naruto asked, trying, and failing, to keep his voice steady.
"I want to," Hinata admitted. "But we'll just be hunted down as missing-nin. My clan alone would stop at nothing to make sure I didn't escape."
"Well then, we just have to make sure they don't know we're gone," Naruto said, starting to smile. "You see, I've got this plan."
/*/
"What do you think you're doing?" Sasuke asked.
"Stealing your stuff, obviously," Naruto responded, a large rucksack full of tapestries, battle trophies, and precious art sculptures across his back. Sasuke pressed some fingers into his forehead.
"Yes, I can see that, Naruto," Sasuke said.
"Well, then, why are you asking? I thought you were supposed to be really smart Sasuke," Naruto said, keeping his voice innocent.
"You..." Sasuke sighed. "This is another ploy to try and upset me, isn't it?"
"No, I actually-I mean yes! Just another prank! Nothing to worry about!" Naruto exclaimed loudly. "In fact, why don't you go back to bed, Sasuke. I'll see myself out." Naruto began walking towards the front door, still carrying the rucksack. Sasuke moved to intercept him.
"Put down the bag, Naruto," Sasuke demanded, standing in front of the door.
"Noooooo," Naruto said, slowly.
"No, what?" Sasuke said, keeping his emotions under control.
"No thanks?" Naruto said. Sasuke smirked, a sliver of amusement escaping his control before he squashed it and scowled at Naruto.
"Are you trying to get me to punch you in the face? Are you sure you aren't a masochist?" Sasuke asked, trying and failing to hold onto his annoyance.
"Oh come on, why do you even care? You're like the richest guy in the village. You wouldn't even notice the cost," Naruto complained, finally dropping the sack.
"So what? You were actually mooching for money all along?" Sasuke asked, walking to the kitchen. He poured them both a glass of milk. Naruto took the glass, and drank it down quickly, while Sasuke sipped at his.
"Kinda yeah. I do need the money," Naruto admitted.
"Oh? The mighty demon can't earn his own cash?" Sasuke said, smirking and letting his disdain flow out.
"Stealing is earning it," Naruto said, closing his eyes and puffing out his chest.
"What?" Sasuke asked, flatly.
"What? You think stealing is easy? It's like a ninja mission in of itself, but it pays better the better you do. Actually, come to think of it, I think there are ninja missions that are literally stealing stuff," Naruto said, tapping his chin. Sasuke just rolled his eyes. They sat in silence for a while. "So Sasuke," Naruto began.
"Yeah?"
"If I left you alone, would you be okay?" Naruto asked. Sasuke didn't respond, letting his shock and mockery speak for him. "I'm serious!" Naruto snapped.
"I might get a decent night of sleep," Sasuke replied, shrugging.
"With your nightmares? Fat chance," Naruto snorted. Sasuke paused, acknowledging the point with a nod.
"Regardless, I wouldn't care. You aren't my friend Naruto. You're just a pest who won't leave me alone. And don't even try and read my emotions to prove me wrong," Sasuke said, tightening his control just in case.
"Yeah, I guess you'd be fine," Naruto said, shrugging.
"What brings all this on anyways?" Sasuke asked, faint hints of suspicion slipping from his control.
"Well the graduation test is coming up soon. And pass or fail, it's really unlikely I'm going to end up on the same team as you," Naruto said. "It got me thinking how you'll handle things without me around to pull your head out of your ass."
"Phh, the only thing you're any good at is being my punching bag," Sasuke said.
"Yeah, yeah," Naruto said, waving a hand idly in the air. "Well, I'm done for the night. See you tomorrow Sasuke."
"Good night Naruto," Sauske said.
/*/
"Shikamaru is going to be so angry at me," Naruto said, staring down at the dead deer.
"He'll get over it. Or not. Either way, we won't be around to be bothered by it," Kuruma said. "Besides, we need the flesh to work the jutsu, and they are basically overgrown mice anyways."
"Still feels bad," Naruto said, picking the deer corpse up with his chakra arm. "He lets me hide out on his clan's grounds, so killing one of his deer seems kinda of a dick move."
"I understand," Kuruma said, patiently. "But you said no to picking off some of the worse villagers, so betraying a friend's trust is what we're left with."
"You have the weirdest morals," Naruto complained, dropping the corpse into a hidden grove of trees. "Okay, now what?"
"Now for the hard part. You're going to need to carve the deer into your shape. As you carve, pump it full of chakra. Every couple of minutes you'll need to go through the hand seals I taught you. That'll forcibly shift the flesh until it looks like your body."
""Great," Naruto sighed, pulling out a knife and getting to work.
/*/
"And let us never speak of this again," a blood soaked Naruto declared over his freshly formed clone. Kuruma started laughing. "What's so funny?"
"Hahaha, you, you're going to, hahaha, have to teach, hahaha, Hinata how to do this," Kuruma laughed.
"SON OF A-"
/*/
"Hey kid," the ramen chef greeted.
"Hey," an exhausted Naruto replied. "Get me the usual," he said, slumping down on his stool, resting his face in his arms.
"Sure thing. Long day?" the man said, starting Naruto's order.
"Ugh, you have no idea. I swear if one more thing happens today, I'm going to snap," Naruto said.
"I hear ya," the chef said, sympathetically. He cooked in a companionable silence, and soon put a bowl of fresh ramen in front of Naruto. Knowing his best customer well, he immediately got started on a second bowl. But before he got a single bite, the Hokage walked in the front door.
"Ah Naruto, I need to talk to you," he said. Naruto's chopsticks shattered. "Are you okay?"
"I don't suppose you just want to have some ramen together?" Naruto asked, through gritted teeth.
"No, I'm afraid not," Hiruzen said. "Are you okay, Naruto? You seem...off," he added cautiously.
"I've just had a really bad day," Naruto said, sighing.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Hiruzen offered.
"No thanks, I'd rather forget about it," Naruto said, smiling ruefully.
"Fair enough. Here, I've got nothing super important to talk about. Enjoy your dinner first, we can talk afterwards," Hiruzen said, ordering his own bowl of ramen. He chatted about his own day, talking about some of the funnier D-rank missions he had assigned. They laughed and enjoyed a leisurely meal together. When they had finished eating, Hiruzen sighed. "Well, now to business."
"If we have to," Naruto said, frowning.
"Sadly, we do," Hiruzen said, sighing. "Villagers reported that you lost control of the fox and were running around, terrorizing people as a demon." Naruto slumped against the bar, covering his face with his hands as he groaned.
"Why is everyone in this village so bloody stupid?" Naruto muttered. He sat up straight, and took a deep breath. "No, I didn't lose control. And I didn't terrorize anyone! I was just...ugh!" Naruto threw his hands up in frustration.
"It's okay Naruto, I believe you," Hiruzen said, calmly. "Just tell me what happened, alright?"
"Okay, okay. So there I was, minding my own business, when I felt a surge of pain from a good friend of mine," Naruto began.
"Yeah, a good 'friend'," Kuruma snickered.
You shut up! Naruto thought furiously.
"A good friend! And nothing else!" Naruto said outloud, getting a confused look from Hiruzen. "Just...just ignore that," he said weakly. "Anyways, I felt my friend in pain, and I rushed over to help. I ran over the rooftops, and I didn't hurt, or terrorize anyone."
"You felt their pain? From across nearly the whole village?" Hiruzen asked.
"Yeah. It's, ah, how do I explain this? Okay, well basically, sensing emotions isn't like seeing or hearing something. Distance doesn't matter so much. The intensity of the emotion matters, and the bonds between us matter," Naruto said.
"So things like friendship and affection make it easier to read?" Hiruzen asked, pulling out his pipe and packing tobacco inside.
"Right. But not just positive stuff. If someone hates me, like really hates me, it becomes easier. And even not emotional bonds. Like if someone is looking at me, that counts as a bond. Or if we share a location. Or if we are classmates. Stuff like that makes it easier as well," Naruto explained, gesturing with his hands. "It goes both ways too. The stronger I feel about someone, the easier it is to sense their emotions."
"So when your girlfriend is in trouble, you can sense her from pretty much anywhere in the village," Hiruzen concluded.
"She's not my girlfriend! Believe it!" Naruto protested, blushing.
"Well, maybe not yet," Hiruzen said, lighting his pipe and inhaling. He blew out a smoke ring. "So what about the 'demon form'?" he asked, casually.
"I'm always in demon form. I'm a demon after all," Naruto said, sulkily. Hiruzen gave him a look, and Naruto relented. "Fine, fine. Okay. It's still not a demon form. I'm just pushing out with my chakra. Like this, see?" Naruto formed a tail with his chakra and gently picked up his empty bowl, handing it to Hiruzen.
"That's amazing. And you can surround your whole body like that?" Hiruzen asked.
"Yeah. It lets me move faster," Naruto said. "I suppose I do look a little more demonic when I'm completely covered in it," Naruto conceded.
"Hmm," Hiruzen hummed in agreement, nodding as he sucked on his pipe. "And it's all your chakra? You aren't using any of the fox's?"
"He doesn't let me use his chakra. He says I have to learn how to be independent rather than using him as a crutch," Naruto pouted. "I mean, it's my body, I figure he should help out once in a while, but he says he is helping by not coddling me."
"That is interesting," Hiruzen said, holding his hands together. "Now, one final thing. Your graduation exam to become a ninja is coming up. How are you feeling?"
"Not good. I've got the knowledge part down. At least, good enough to pass. The taijutsu part will be a breeze, but I can't get a hang of the ninjutsus that they teach," Naruto said, grimacing.
"Really? What happens?" Hiruzen asked.
"Here, I'll show you," Naruto said, making several hand signs. A puff of smoke surrounded him, and it cleared to reveal...a really decript looking Hokage, with drooping cheeks, and was approximately half the size of Hiruzen. The real Hokage's lips twitched in a smile, and Naruto poofed back into his normal form.
"I see. And that happens every time?" Hiruzen asked.
"Every time," Naruto confirmed. "I've got no idea what's going on. The fox just laughs and says I don't need ninjutsu when I ask him for help."
"Troubling, but not an immediate problem," Hiruzen said. "For individuals with extraordinary talents can receive a special assessment if they prove unable to pass the normal exam. Why just last year we had a boy who couldn't use any ninjutsu at all. And yet his skills with taijutsu were so great, he was able to pass a special assessment and is one of the top ninja of his year. I'm sure you'll be able to do something similar with your emotion sensing and um, demon form."
"Huh," Naruto said. "So do I even have to bother with the graduation exam?"
"Yes. It is better to eliminate your weakness of being unable to transform properly. Just because there is another route to success, doesn't mean it's the better route," Hiruzen said, sternly. He frowned at Naruto, who smiled back.
"Well, is that all you wanted to talk about? Cause if you're done, I want to head home and get some sleep," Naruto said, yawning and stretching his arms.
"Go ahead. And good luck on your exam," Hiruzen said, waving Naruto away.
"Good night, old man," Naruto said, waving back as he left.
/*/
Naruto went through the exam, and as he expected he failed the ninjutsu portion of the exam. After his failed transformation he was brought in to talk to his teachers.
"Well, I'm sorry Naruto, but there is no way I can pass you," Iruka said.
"It's okay," Naruto said, shrugging. "I mean, there's always the special assessment right?" Naruto added. Iruka radiated some confusion at Naruto's words, but Mizuki radiated sadistic glee and surprise.
"Where did you learn about that?" Iruka asked.
"The Hokage told me about it when I told him I was worried about passing the exam," Naruto said.
"Hmm, well if he suggested it, I suppose we will set something up," Iruka said, scratching his head. "We'll get back to you, okay?"
"Sure," Naruto said, smiling and leaving the building. Looks like Mizuki is plotting something, Naruto thought to Kuruma.
"Indeed. And what a perfect opportunity for us. I thought we'd have to piss off a villager or fabricate an accident to fake our death. Instead we can pin it on that sadistic bastard," Kuruma said, satisfied.
Yeah. He's a real jerk, so playing one final prank on him will be a great way to leave the village. But I guess now I've got to wait for him to do something first, Naruto thought. He spent most of the day just wandering around the village, keeping in nice obvious spots. Finally when the sun started to go down, Mizuki approached him.
"Hey, Naruto," he called, waving a hand.
"Hey, Mizuki," Naruto responded, walking over to him.
"That's sensei to you," he said, an easy grin failing to hide the surge of hatred he felt.
"Sure. What's up?" Naruto asked.
"I've got your special assessment test ready," Mizuki said. "Here, come with me." Mizuki lead Naruto to just outside the village's walls. The entire time he was radiating hatred and anticipation. They reached a small clearing in the woods, where Mizuki stopped. "Alright, so for the special assessment, we basically give you a fake ninja mission, and if you complete it, you graduate. Got it?"
"It'll be a piece of cake, believe it!" Naruto said, beaming and giving a thumbs up.
"Glad to see that enthusiasm. So basically you need to break into the Hokage's tower and steal a scroll, alright? But not just any scroll. We want you to grab the Scroll of Seals. Once you have it, bring it back here. I'll check to make sure it's the actual scroll, and return it afterwards," Mizuki explained, his hatred practically dripping from every word.
"You got it! I'll be back in no time!" Naruto said, trying to keep a straight face. He ran back into the village and immediately starting heading to where he had stored his clone. "He is really obvious about how he's going to betray me, isn't he?"
"Indeed. Thankfully he seems to believe you actually want to be a ninja. That should make deceiving him rather simple," Kuruma said.
"Yeah, this will be a piece of cake," Naruto said, going through the hand seals to activate his clone. He lurched as his senses split, almost falling down. "Urk, you didn't mention this."
"No, I didn't. You should have done a test run with the clone body before now," Kuruma said, simply.
"Really? This is important, and you still want to do that whole lesson thing? What if this causes me to mess up?" Naruto shouted, furious.
"Don't worry too much about it. Just keep your eyes closed in your real body. That should mitigate the worst of the confusion. You might be a little clumsier than usual, but this Mizuki is an idiot. You should be able to fool him no problem," Kuruma said, unrepentant.
"Fine. But there's one thing I forgot," Naruto said, canceling the jutsu. "I need to go steal a scroll from the shop to make this perfect. I'll be right back."
"I'm not going anywhere," Kuruma said, smiling at his joke.
/*/
Naruto sat, his back to a tree as he waited for Mizuki to show up. He idly rubbed his fingers across the elaborate scroll case he had stolen from a ninja store. I can't feel it. This body is numb, and I can't sense emotions from it either, Naruto thought, closing his eyes. And I have to keep reminding myself to breath. Else it'll be really obvious that I'm just piloting a bunch of dead deer. Naruto opened his eyes, and sighed.
"I thought Mizuki was supposed to be waiting for me. Did he have to go take a crap or something?" Naruto muttered.
"Patience is one of the primary virtues of the ninja," Mizuki sneered, from right above Naruto. Naruto yelped and shot backwards.
Holy crap, is that what being snuck up on feels like? Naruto thought, holding a heart to his chest, in both bodies.
"H-hey, Mizuki, you startled me," Naruto said. "I got the scroll," he added, tossing it to Mizuki.
"Good job," Mizuki praised. He opened the scroll and began reading. "Top ten reasons why Mizuki sucks. Number 1; he's an ugly jerk who is dumber than a pile of bricks," he said, rage filling his voice.
"Heh," Naruto laughed lightly, his heart beating so hard he could hear it in his real body. "Did you really think I was so dumb that I would commit treason just because you asked? It's the Scroll of Seals, there's no way they'd risk it in a test."
"You demonic brat!" Mizuki yelled, grabbing Naruto and slamming him against the tree. "You think you're so clever? And always so proud about what you are. You're just a monster. A monster who killed your parents! Did you really think you were an orphan before the Kyuubi attacked?"
"Like I'd believe anything a traitor like you has to say," Naruto said. "You're just a sadist and a bully. You can't hurt me with your words anymore!"
"No, I suppose I can't," Mizuki said, smirking. He drew a kunai. "I guess I'll have to hurt you like this, instead!" he yelled, stabbing Naruto in the stomach. "And I'm just getting...it's cold. Why is your blood cold?"
"This really is a useless jutsu," Naruto said, shaking his head. "Oh well, this should be good enough. As one final favor from a student to a teacher, I suggest you start running," he added, slumping against the tree and beginning to cut the connection to his clone.
"Mizuki! What have you done?!" he heard Iruka yell as he snapped back to his real body. He open his eyes, and flexed his hands.
"Well, I guess I'm dead now," he whispered.
"Indeed. And now your life can finally get started," Kuruma replied.
Author's Notes: Well this chapter went on longer than expected, and that's after cutting out some stuff.
Naruto vs Neji: It really isn't a fight right now. Naruto in this fic will end up being a lot weaker than he ends up in canon. But he's starting off a lot stronger. And Neji, well he needs physical contact to do any damage. Though on the other hand, it wasn't an actual fight either. It's taking a single punch. If Naruto had to swap between offense and defense, Neji would have a chance. But he had no hope of breaking the chakra shield.
Special Assessment Test: Basically my justification on how Rock Lee became a ninja when he certainly would fail any ninjutsu part of a test.
Flesh Clone jutsu: I figure Kuruma must know an absolute ton of jutsus, having been alive as long as he has, has been in countless ninja battles, and always has had a ton of power. I also figured that someone, somewhere made a flesh clone jutsu considering there are clones of pretty much everything else. So I decided to come up with a reason why nobody ever, ever uses it. So it sucks. It's almost entirely useless for combat, and too slow and clumsy for infiltration, with obvious tells that show something is wrong.