Lily,
How are you doing at school? I'm sure you're acing your exams as usual. We are so proud of you!
I'm sorry to say I have bad news: your father and I have come down with measles. We're doing alright, but it's dreadfully contagious. Your sister is staying at Vernon's, and we think it's a good idea for you to stay at school until it all clears up. I hope we'll be feeling better by Christmas Day, but in any case, we won't be having our usual family gathering, and we've sent your present along with your owl to be safe. Maybe you have some friends staying at Hogwarts over break as well? We'll keep you posted. In the meantime, we'll be missing you dearly!
Your father's been itching to try that fire trick you've been telling us about – the Floof Network, right? Hopefully we can talk face-to-face that way. I'd hate not to see my daughter on Christmas.
Try to keep your spirits up!
Love you,
Mum
To say that Lily was disappointed by that letter would've been an understatement. For the first time in six years, she wouldn't be seeing her family and friends for the holidays. Instead, she would be stuck in a huge empty castle for at least a week. She supposed it wasn't all bad; it spared her from putting up with her sister Petunia and her pompous boyfriend Vernon, who liked to make her the butt of the joke at family dinners. But all her friends were going home for break, along with most of the school. And apart from the Christmas dinner that Professor Dumbledore hosted for the remaining students, there would be no festivities. For an entire week or more, she would have nothing to do but read, wander around the halls, or take a stroll in the grounds...alone.
For a season of togetherness, it was very depressing.
The first day of winter break, Lily decided she was going to make the most of it. She heaved herself out of bed at nine in the morning, took a long hot shower, and threw on her coziest Christmas sweater. She even curled her hair. She wasn't the type to fuss over her appearance, but she figured she might as well make herself look nice today, since she had all the time in the world. Once she was satisfied with her silky auburn curls, she snatched one of her favorite novels from her school trunk and headed down the Gryffindor common room to do some reading before breakfast.
Halfway down the stairs, she heard voices. I must not be the only Gryffindor staying, Lily realized. She'd hardly finished the thought when a bright, raucous laugh echoed from the common room, turning her blood cold. She knew that laugh; she often heard it disrupting class, traveling down the table in the Great Hall, or tormenting other students. Fate seemed to be pranking her. Of the few students who were still in the castle, why did he have to be one of them?
Lily paused on the last set of stairs, considering going straight back to her room. Don't be childish, she scolded herself. You're better than that.
Knowing she'd have to come down eventually, she sighed and descended the marble steps to find none other than her nemesis, plus a few accomplices. James Potter was looking especially boyish in a red-and-gold sweater patterned with deer, holly, and Christmas trees. His friends were dressed similarly, only with different patterns; she suspected someone's mum had made them matching sweaters. As usual, his short black hair was a rumpled mess. He could've just rolled out of bed and Lily wouldn't have been able to tell the difference.
Before she could put on the glare that she reserved for gits like him, she was distracted by a big black thing. A wild creature was zooming around the common room in a joyful tornado, leaping onto tables and couches. Abruptly, the beast ran out of carpet and lost traction on the marble tile. With a yelp, it skidded into some drapery, which fell to the floor, iron rod and all. Potter laughed again as the creature climbed out of the pile of curtains and shook itself off like nothing had happened.
Once Lily got over her shock, she put on a stern face and cleared her throat. The creature froze. By the angles of its wolfish face and the nervous way it titled its ears back, she decided it was a dog – a bear-sized dog that definitely could've eaten her if it set its mind to it. James and his friends looked just as startled to see her as she felt to see them smuggling such a big creature into the common room. (She knew she shouldn't have been surprised; this was the same group of boys who frequently showed up with bags of sweets from Honeydukes in the evening, when students weren't allowed out of the castle.)
To his credit, Potter recovered smoothly. "Morning, Evans. You look lovely. Did you do something new with your hair?"
His suave tone invoked a spark of irritation. "What is this?" Lily demanded.
"What is what?" He echoed innocently. His hand darted to his hair, and Lily fought the urge to roll her eyes.
The massive dog whined imploringly, like it knew it was in trouble. Its reaction was adorable, but she refused to let it sway her.
"Do you really expect me to ignore this? You know we're not allowed to have dogs!"
"Ignoring this would be lovely, actually."
Lily summoned that glare. She observed the other perpetrators: Remus Lupin, with his mousy hair neat and his posture stiff, and Peter Pettigrew, with his nervous blue eyes fixed on her. A chill traveled down her spine when she realized someone was missing from Potter's friend group. "Where is Black?" She asked apprehensively, scanning the room and then glancing over her shoulder.
"Sick," Potter replied. His voice was confident, but he was shifting his feet. "Wasn't feeling well this morning, so we took him to the hospital wing."
"Truthfully? He's not going to sneak up behind me?"
He planted his heels and put a hand over his heart. "I solemnly swear it. We didn't even know you were here, Lil."
"I believe that much," she muttered, frowning at the dog. A delayed jolt of annoyance struck her. "And that's Evans to you. Only my friends call me that."
She thought she saw something like disappointment flash in his eyes, but she brushed it off. Potter could pretend to care about her all he wanted – she wasn't buying it for a second. He'd been badgering her to go out with him since second year, and she'd been rejecting him for just as long. They were halfway through their sixth year now, and he still hadn't given up. She figured he either enjoyed annoying her or viewed her as his ultimate conquest. The thought deepened her scowl.
He smirked in response. "How about a deal? I'll never call you Lil again if you swear not to tell anyone about this."
"I'm a prefect, you know," she snapped, "and some of us prefects actually do our jobs." She eyed Remus, and he grimaced. Usually, she got along just fine with Remus. Of the few conversations she'd had with him, he'd been nothing but mature, polite, and quick-witted. It was no wonder he'd gotten the role of prefect, especially considering the other three choices. But when it came to enforcing rules, he had a soft spot where his friends were concerned.
Potter seemed defensive. "You don't have to call him out. He didn't have a say in this. Besides, he's only here for today – right, boy?" The dog gave a deep WOOF of agreement.
Lily was beginning to lose the energy for this. She was supposed to be on a break. "Why is he even here? Where did you get him?"
"He's my family's dog. He's, er..."
"He's here for emotional support," Remus chimed in gently.
"Right," Pettigrew added, "because none of us are going home this Christmas."
Lily crossed her arms, but she felt her stubbornness fading. Potter adopted his best negotiating tone. "Can't you let him stay for one day? There's hardly anyone in the castle besides us, and he's very well-behaved." His hazel eyes were solemn and pleading, but Lily had seen him use that brown-nosing look before, on girls and professors alike. It worked infuriatingly well – on everyone but her.
The black dog's version of begging was much more effective. He padded over to her, plopped down across her feet, and gazed up at her like she was all he could see. His gray eyes held a sweet sort of hopefulness, like he trusted her not to make him leave. Against her will, Lily smirked. Her family had an old Collie that often cuddled up to her with those same big eyes. She lifted her gaze to the black-haired boy and scowled again. Then she sighed.
"Fine. He can stay – but only for today."
Potter blinked like he was taken aback. "You mean it?"
"I may be a prefect, but I'm not heartless," she responded reluctantly, "and I could use some emotional support myself." That depressing bit slipped out before Lily could remember who she was talking to. Something like concern flickered in Potter's hazel eyes. Cringing at her admission, Lily avoided his gaze by giving the shaggy dog a good scratch behind the ears. She smiled wistfully as she thought of her own dog at home. Then she frowned. "Why doesn't he have a collar?"
Potter didn't answer right away. When she looked up, he was watching the dog with a scowl that was difficult to translate. Then he noticed her staring and plastered on a neutral expression. "Oh, er…he lost his old one, and we never got around to replacing it."
"Are you taking him out on the grounds today?"
"I suppose that's a possibility," he said slowly, in a tone that meant it wasn't likely.
"You shouldn't keep a dog this size in the common room all day, especially with the way he was wrecking the place earlier," Lily scolded him, fixing the fallen curtains with a careful Wingardium Leviosa. "If he's that energetic, you ought to take him for a walk, and he really ought to be wearing a collar. What if you lose him?"
"Don't sweat it, Evans," he replied soothingly. "Like I said, he's well-behaved. We've got this under control."
Based on what she'd seen so far, Lily wasn't convinced. She frowned at the dog again, inwardly marveling at her unusual level of investment in one of James Potter's schemes. She attributed it to a mix of her own boredom, her love of dogs, and her distrust of Potter's ability to properly care for an animal. "I think I've got something in my room that will work," she stated. "Wait here." As she headed for the girls' dormitory, she paused to shoot him that glare again. "Don't even think about trying to pretend this never happened. If you aren't all exactly where I left you when I get back, I'm going straight to Dumbledore."
Potter gave her a salute. "Yes, ma'am."
His cheerful tone wasn't reassuring. Lily eyed Remus knowingly. "Make sure he follows through with that, will you?"
The other prefect smiled a little. "I think I can manage that."
When Lily returned, she was half-surprised to see the three boys and the dog still lounging by the fireplace. Having settled down on the carpet, the dog lifted his head and perked his ears when she came into the room. Then he growled when he saw the pink collar in her hand. Lily hesitated. She usually got along well with animals, but that loud rumbling made the hair on her neck stand up.
"Oi. She's helping you. Be nice," Potter snapped. His voice held a sharpness that Lily had only ever heard when he was insulting a rival. It was odd hearing that tone used to protect rather than attack. The black creature quieted down.
Relieved, Lily performed an Enlarging spell on the cat collar. "Do you think this will do?"
"Why on earth did you have that lying around?" Pettigrew asked curiously.
"It's not mine," Lily admitted. "Mary always switches her cat to a Christmas-themed collar this time of year. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if I borrowed the other one." She held it out to Potter, but he only raised his eyebrows at her.
"He's not going to let me put that on him."
"Why not?"
"Well, er…he's a rescue," Potter reasoned carefully. "His last owner didn't treat him well, so he's weird about certain things. That's why he tore off his old collar. He's still a stray at heart." The dog grunted irritably as Pettigrew snickered. Remus shot the shorter boy a quelling look.
Lily decided not to read into their weird reactions. "Poor thing," she murmured sympathetically, kneeling next to the dog with the collar in hand. The large creature tensed and watched her warily. His pale-eyed gaze was unnerving. She hesitated, glancing at the three boys. They didn't seem uneasy to see her so close to the dog. Deciding it was safe, she banished her fear and asked, "Does he have a name?"
"Snuffles," Remus answered with the smallest of smirks. Pettigrew starting coughing, and Potter pursed his lips like he was fighting a smile. The dog let out another disgruntled huff – a fitting sound.
Lily smiled and extended her free hand, letting Snuffles examine it before she gave him another gentle head scratch. Then she held up the collar and said calmly, "This is only for a little while, alright? I'll make sure it's not too tight, and you can take it off again as soon as you're back home."
Snuffles stared at her intently with those bizarre gray eyes. Lily had an uncanny feeling that the animal had understood every word. At last, he exhaled heavily. Lily took that as an invitation. Moving with deliberate care, she looped the pink collar around the dog's neck. She pointed her wand at the silver tag that read "Aslan" and changed it to "Snuffles". Then she smiled and ruffled the dog's shaggy neck fur. "See? That wasn't so bad, was it?"
Snuffles seemed to stiffen when she touched him. His gray eyes darted to the boys on the couch. Lily looked over her shoulder, bewildered. Remus was forcing a nonchalant look, and Pettigrew was trying to stifle another cough. Both of them were glancing at Potter, who was wearing that odd expression again. Discomfort and frustration stirred in his narrowed eyes. Lily raised her eyebrows. "What's wrong? You've never seen someone pet a dog before?"
His glare mellowed into a resigned scowl. "He usually hates when people touch him," he said dryly.
Lily felt pleased with herself. "I'm good with animals," she told him, grinning as she toyed with Snuffles's pointy ears.
Potter was clearly trying to look unbothered, but a muscle in his jaw was twitching. "Yeah, well, he certainly seems to like you."
Snuffles made a noise between a growl and a snort, glaring at Potter like he was protesting. Potter glared right back, which Lily found amusing but a bit uncalled for. "You're just jealous because your dog likes me better," she teased him.
When Potter's eyes met hers, he seemed to simmer down. He copied her smug smile. "In your dreams, Evans. He likes me best."
"Does he let you pet him?" Lily asked innocently.
"Not really, but you can blame my anatomy for that." He narrowed his eyes at the black dog again. "He's an incorrigible flirt."
A small giggle slipped out before Lily could stop it. Potter's childish pout melted into a look of quiet amazement, and he blinked at her like he was seeing her for the first time. Lily abruptly realized how relaxed she'd let herself become in the past few minutes. Had she actually laughed at one of James Potter's jokes? She supposed he could be funny sometimes – when he wasn't acting like a bigheaded jerk – but he'd never gotten a laugh out of her, at least not directly. Then again, she typically avoided him and his friends like the plague. She cleared her throat, suddenly feeling awkward.
Potter spared her from the tension by changing the subject. "You never said why you're staying here for break. Is everything alright?" His tone was light, but his eyebrows were knitted in concern. He almost seemed authentic.
"My parents are sick, and it's horribly contagious, so I'm stuck here until they get better."
"How sick?"
"They'll be fine. It's only measles, and the doctor's caught it early."
"Is anyone else staying with you? Marlene? Mary? Alice?"
Lily shook her head. "They all went home." She tried to sound neutral, but she couldn't quite hide her sadness. Potter frowned, and Lily's heart squirmed with panic as she realized what he was about to say. "It's not so bad, really," she added quickly. "I imagine it'll be quite peaceful, having the whole castle to myself." She didn't say what she was really thinking: as lonely as the alternative would be, she didn't think she had the patience to spend more than a few minutes with Potter's gang.
Snuffles stood and brushed his head against her shoulder like he was trying to tell her something. Then he scampered over the to portrait hole and barked, looking back at the four of them – and at her in particular – with his tail wagging. Potter put on his most winning smile. "I suppose you were right about him needing a walk. It seems he wants you to come along."
Lily tensed, mentally scrambling for an excuse to slip away. She didn't want to be rude; her nemesis was being polite for once, and she preferred that over his blunt flirting. The memory brought her back to her senses, and she readied a stubborn scowl, but before she could say anything, the black-haired boy raised his hands. "I'll behave, I promise. I won't even ask you out." He paused, and a mischievous smirk tugged at his lips. "Unless you want me to. In that case—"
"I'll pass," Lily cut him off blandly. She was just as accustomed to rejecting him as he was to being rejected...or so she thought. To her surprise, his smirk fell away this time, and his expression flickered between regret and defeat. Then his resilient smile crashed back into place, leaving Lily wondering which reaction was the real one. Strangely, she felt like she knew the answer…and it hadn't been the one she'd expected all these years.
Does he actually fancy me?
Her stomach churned uneasily. Refusing to let dread consume her, she shoved that worry to the back of her mind.
"You're sure you can't take any time out of your busy schedule?" He wheedled her as tenaciously as ever.
"I meant, I'll pass on going out with you," Lily reiterated slowly, feeling like her voice was coming from someone else's mouth. "But...I suppose a walk around the grounds wouldn't hurt."
His hazel eyes lit up like she'd just given him the best Christmas gift. That reaction was admittedly nicer than his last one, but Lily didn't want to give him the wrong idea. "I'm coming along for Snuffles, not you," she snapped.
Snuffles barked happily, and Potter chuckled. "He's a lucky dog."
The day only grew stranger as it went on.
As they headed out of the empty castle, the four of them talked about subjects like snow, exams, and family. Meanwhile, Snuffles was trotting beside Lily like he owned the place. After the first few minutes, Lily felt herself relaxing again. It was jarring to discover that the group of boys – the Marauders, as they called themselves – could be so normal.
Up to this point, most of her interactions with Potter and his friends had been negative. It seemed like she was always stumbling into the midst of their pranks, yelling at them for bullying some Slytherin kid (usually her ex-best-friend, Severus), or rejecting Potter's unwarranted advances. As a result, she'd never bothered getting to know them; she preferred ignoring them altogether. Remus was the only one she'd ever had the desire to talk to, and he was almost always around the others.
Still, Lily deliberately put herself at the end of the group as they walked, using the other prefect as a buffer. Remus didn't seem to mind – which didn't surprise her, considering his history. She'd seen him go from breaking up duels in the hallways to helping lost first years, all with effortless grace and tact. She suspected he'd sensed her tension and planned accordingly.
Potter didn't seem to mind this setup either. The black-haired boy was smiling the entire way out of the castle, like her presence alone was enough to make his day, even though he'd just been shot down for what must have been the thousandth time. To Lily's relief, he avoided making any inappropriate jokes, and his flirting and teasing was toned down to a tolerable level.
When the four of them reached the giant bronze doors, they pushed them open and were blinded by the brightness. A generous layer of snow coated the ground and hung in the trees, and fat flakes were still falling. Lily laughed as Snuffles immediately launched himself into the powdery substance. The black dog surfaced with a coat like salt-and-pepper. Then he padded back over to the group and shook himself off.
"Oi!"
All four of them jumped back, but Potter was too close to avoid the cloud of white. Leaving his dark jeans covered in snow, Snuffles bolted. "Oh, no, you don't! Get your furry arse back here!" Grinning, Potter scooped up a handful of snow and chased the dog into the winter wonderland. Lily couldn't help but giggle at their ridiculousness.
Remus smiled wryly. "I'm starting to think this 'walk' isn't going to involve much walking."
Unbothered, Lily watched as Potter successfully nailed the dog's back with a snowball. Snuffles responded by whirling around and charging straight at him. "Don't you dare! Pad—OOF!" The huge dog tackled him to the ground with a burst of snow. Snuffles barked like he was laughing and ran off again.
A disgruntled Potter pushed himself to his feet, looking like he'd been coated in flour. Even his hair was streaked with white. He wiped off his glasses so he could properly glare at the dog. Then he glanced at Lily like he was embarrassed, but she was laughing too much to care. "This is way better than reading alone," she said happily to Remus. She thought Potter was too far away to hear, but he must have read her lips, because his sheepish look morphed into a relieved grin. Under the dusting of snow, his face was flushed.
Remus smiled kindly. "You're welcome to stay with us for as long as you like." His tone took on a hint of mischief. "Reading has its charm, but this is usually more entertaining."
"I think you and I have different definitions of entertainment."
"I'm not so sure about that."
They were distracted as Snuffles ran off toward the lake. "Where do you think you're going?" Potter shouted after him, but the speeding dog didn't even look back. He shook his head and muttered something that sounded like: "You're lucky she likes you. Damn stray..."
A few minutes later, Lily found herself standing near a beech tree by the Black Lake – the boys' usual spot on the grounds. Snuffles was investigating the frozen surface of the lake, giving the ice an occasional scratch. "Is that safe?" Lily wondered aloud.
Remus shrugged. "If he falls through, we'll put a Warming spell on him."
Snuffles looked up as they approached. His tongue lolled out playfully. Then he took a running leap and skidded along the slick surface, using his claws like ice skates. Potter smirked and shook his head. "What a nutter. You'd think we never take him outside."
Lily suddenly realized she was standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Potter for the first time that day – and maybe the first time ever. It wasn't as awkward as it should've been, even though she could feel the warmth radiating from his jacket. Without really thinking, she scoldingly nudged him with her elbow. "He's not a nutter. He's just curious."
"He's seen ice before," Potter argued. His smile contradicted his sarcastic tone. The bright, shameless grin rested easily on his face, making him look annoyingly attractive. Lily blinked hard and looked away, searing that disturbing thought from her mind.
"Oi, Snuffles! How about a game of fetch?" Remus called, stepping toward the lake. The black dog paused and titled his head. Then he barked. Remus glanced back at Pettigrew. "Coming, Wormtail?" There was something underneath his light tone that Lily couldn't read.
Pettigrew blinked, looking confused. Then his blue eyes widened. "Oh! Sure."
Snuffles ran up to meet them, and the two boys walked off before Lily could decipher their strange behavior. Dismissing it, she smiled as Remus found a huge stick and tossed it high in the air. Snuffles seemed clumsy at first – he apparently didn't play fetch that often – but by the fifth throw he was starting to get the hang of it.
About a minute too late, Lily realized that she was now standing next to Potter alone; the other two boys were probably out of earshot now. The more she thought about it, the more she suspected that they'd done it on purpose. There goes my buffer, she thought irritably, cursing Remus's knack for subtlety. She was starting to see why he got along so well with the other boys.
Evidently, her annoyance showed. Potter frowned at her. "What's wrong, Lil? Cold?"
"I'm fine," Lily responded stiffly. Her face heated up as she braced for the stream of cheesy offers to 'keep her warm'. Thankfully, he didn't say anything. After a moment, he returned his attention to the game of fetch. Lily wondered why he seemed so cheery. Then something else occurred to her. "You called me 'Lil' again."
"Did I?" He asked lightly. His eyes were still following the dog.
"Don't pretend it was an accident."
He shrugged. "Sometimes it just slips out." Lily shook her head in defeat, and he glanced at her. "You didn't tell me to stop this time," he pointed out. He almost looked hopeful.
"I get tired of repeating myself," she grumbled.
His lopsided smile grew. "Excellent. That's the goal."
"Tiring me out will not make me want to go out with you."
"No, but it might convince you to give me a chance. After that, my devilish good looks and irresistible charm will do the rest."
Holding back a snort, she rolled her eyes. "Not on your life, Potter."
The black-haired boy had that mischievous look about him, like he was going to say something that would instantly be met with rejection. Then he seemed to remember his promise from earlier, and he sighed and put on an affectionate smile. "Whatever you say, Evans."
His calmness was slightly maddening. Why is he so determined? Lily wondered. It's not like anything real would happen between us. We hardly even know each other. The git probably thinks I'm playing hard-to-get; he likes the chase. If I agreed to go out with him, he'd be bored of me in a week.
Her stomach clenched at the thought, which left her questioning her own motivations. Why should she care if James Potter was flirting with her for nothing more than his own entertainment? She'd already thought that for years. But he seems different today, remarked a hopeful voice in her head. She tensed, quashing her traitorous heart. No. I do not fancy James Potter, she told herself firmly. It doesn't matter how charming he pretends to be. I would never date a self-centered, obnoxious prat like him.
Lily took a deep breath and tried to change the subject. "Why are you all here, anyway? Didn't you want to go home and see your family?"
James smiled as Snuffles made a magnificent catch and Pettigrew cheered. "I don't need to go home to see my family," he said simply. "All my brothers are here."
"That's not a real answer," Lily pointed out.
"I'm sorry?"
"You could spend time with your 'brothers' over break regardless. You didn't have to stay at school for that. I've heard some nasty rumors about Black's family, so I understand if he's staying, but that doesn't explain why the rest of you are here."
He paused for a few seconds. Then he took a deep breath. "Alright. Have you heard anything about Remus's family?"
Lily frowned. "Not much. Only that a bunch of his aunts and uncles passed away a while ago from some hereditary illness."
"Well, there's that," he murmured. "But this is different. His mum came down with something a lot worse. She's been in and out of the hospital since September. She just died last week."
A gasp of cold air stabbed Lily's lungs. That answer wasn't anything like what she'd been expecting. All the self-pity that she'd felt from her own situation was instantly redirected. "That's awful. And right before Christmas..."
"Yeah," James agreed quietly. "So the rest of us decided to hang back with him this year." He smirked, but it didn't reach his eyes this time. Lily tried to shake off a hint of discomfort. It was alarming how easily she could read his expressions now. He seems like an actual human being today, she marveled. Has he always been so candid?
"Rem wasn't lying when he said Snuffles was here for emotional support," James was saying. "We all are. We didn't tell him that, of course, but I think he's got us figured out." When he noticed her staring, he elaborated, "He likes to pretend that nothing gets to him, because he doesn't want people to worry about him. So, we all made up excuses to stay. I'm not sure what good it did – he knows how we are. But I think for the same reason he's given up on arguing with us."
Lily believed the sentiment behind that story, but something didn't add up. "Why would Remus choose to stay here? Wouldn't he want to be at home with his family while they're grieving?"
James grimaced and ruffled his untidy hair. "He's still going to the funeral, but…I suppose this is where that hereditary condition comes in. Let's just say Remus has certain…episodes…and sometimes they happen around the holidays. He doesn't want to worry his dad, so he's staying here until he's ready to go back."
"What kind of episodes?" Lily asked uneasily.
"It's not my place to say. The other boys and I live with him nine months out of the year, so we know, but…"
Lily winced. "Right. Sorry. I was just concerned."
He smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry. Rem's one of the toughest people I know. It takes a lot to break him. I swear he'll outlive us all, with all the hell he's been through."
Lily pondered that as she watched that same 'tough person' playing fetch with the black dog like nothing was wrong. Even in the castle, Remus had seemed like his easygoing self. Now that she thought about it, he had been a bit quieter than usual – but she never would've suspected he'd lost his mother recently. That figures, Lily thought ironically. The one I thought I understood the most is the best at hiding his emotions. Meanwhile, James is like an open book right now. I bet he can read Remus, though…
She vaguely wondered when she'd started referring to Potter as 'James'.
"The four of you seem close," she noted, shaking off a fresh wave of tension.
James's smile faded as he watched the two boys and the dog. "I mean it when I say they're like brothers to me," he said softly, and Lily half-wondered if he was still talking to her. "I'd die for any one of them, and I know they'd do the same for me."
Lily tried to take that with a grain of salt. This was coming from an infamous prankster and her stubborn pursuer, after all. She should've suspected that he was just saying this to sell himself to her, but it didn't seem that way. His brooding expression was a little too convincing.
"What's your secret?"
James stiffened. "What do you mean?"
"How did you find friends like that? And how can you be so sure they feel the same?"
Looking relieved, he nudged her with his elbow, just like she'd done to him earlier. "Maybe you should stick around and find out for yourself."
For once, Lily let his flirty gesture slide – and she even might have smiled. She wasn't completely sure what was coming over her, but if the butterflies in her gut were any indication, she was digging herself into deep, deep trouble. Attempting to look annoyed, she rolled her eyes, but her lighthearted, brazen response quite didn't fit with her expression.
"Fine. Maybe I will."
James stared at her like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You mean it?" He asked. There was an anxious note to his voice, like he still expected rejection.
Lily frowned. She may have been harsh with him before, but she wasn't cruel enough to pretend to be nice and then stab him in the back. She supposed it wasn't his fault he was wary; they didn't know each other all that well. She decided it was time she changed that…even though the idea made her uncomfortable for more reasons than one. I do not fancy him, she repeated to herself, with a bit less conviction than before.
She was digging herself in deep indeed.
Reigning in her thoughts, Lily went on in her mildest tone: "I'd like to be here to support Remus, if he'll have me. He's always been kind to me, and it's horrible what happened to his mum. Besides, it would be awfully boring being alone all week. I would much rather make myself useful."
The warmth of James's grin could've thawed the lake. "Well, you've come to the right Marauders," he said with a wink. "Remus could use all the company he can get. And I, for one, would be happy to entertain you for as long as you can put up with me."
"I'll give it a few hours," Lily predicted dryly.
James's tone turned childishly innocent. "Can you make it a few years?"
That got a surprised laugh out of her. "Keep dreaming, Potter."
His hazel eyes glowed with pride, but there was something else in them that Lily was beginning to discern – something sweet and hopeful that made her heart thump hard. Before she could compose herself, James gave her a cheeky smirk and echoed happily:
"Fine. Maybe I will."