Butler and Holly sprang into action, perfectly in sync. The two soldiers had been fighting on the same side for long enough that no words needed to be shared. Holly burst off in a sprint, one soft hazel eye and one piercing blue one desperately searching. She had to find her eye. Artemis' eye.
There. The orb lay in a pool of blood. Bits of grass and dirt marred its surface, and Holly could even make out where the nerve had been cut. The eye was glowing slightly green as the magic faded from it.
Had she been more calm, the elf would have whistled. It was a clean cut. As it were, she simply dove and snatched it from the ground. Carefully. She could not crush it.
Holly held it close to her body, at once turning back towards Butler and fumbling with her belt. A hydroshell. As she made her way back to the bodyguard performing first-aid, she popped the cap, spraying down the soiled eye.
Julius taught her that trick.
Butler had meanwhile checked Artemis' pulse. Weak and uneven. His charge felt even clammier than usual. Definitely shock. He looked at Holly rushing back to Artemis' side, his gaze one of a man adrift spotting a ship. Fairy magic was the only hope.
Holly didn't miss a beat, sliding on her knees over the slick morning dew of the Fowl lawn. Butler held the boy's head up, tilting it so that the elf had full access. Holly pulled the relatively clean eye out and deliberately jammed it back into the socket. The captain had to trust that her magic would reconnect the nerve.
Butler and Holly both spoke at the same time.
"Heal."
At first, nothing happened. Butler swallowed. Was Holly out of magic? The elf in question gritted her teeth and turned her chin until she heard a click.
Then it happened all at once.
Blue sparks burst out of her hands, sinking deep into Artemis' chest. The sparks ran up his body, surfing up-and-down like miniature sea serpents before finding his left eye and forming a small dynamo of magic. The spinning corona of blue sparks swept up Artemis' hazel eye, righting it and reconnecting the nerve, before sinking it deep into the socket. The rest of the sparks restored lost blood, cushioned his nervous system, and mended various cuts and bruises that the day had left him with.
Holly and Butler watched anxiously as the magic played out its whims, and finally stopped altogether. Holly felt drained. Butler thought his heart would hammer its way out of his chest. Neither dared to breathe.
For a silent, terrible moment, Artemis stopped breathing.
Then, his autonomous nervous system reasserted control. Artemis' eyes fluttered open as his heart restarted and his brain reconnected his eye. He took a deep shuddering breath.
And immediately had the wind knocked out of him as Holly slammed into him with a bone-crushing hug.
"Holly—" he began.
He was cut off as Holly leaned down and kissed him fiercely. Blue sparks erupted at the contact as the elf mashed her lips against him like her life depended on it. Teeth and lips clacked, what few cuts were opened soon were attended to by blue sparks.
Artemis' mind, jumbled as it was by the healing and shock, could still perceive this clearly enough. The hot, salty tears he felt spilling off from Holly's face. The scent of her hair. Grass and citrus. There was something else, something more, something sweeter, mixed in but all he couldn't quite make it all out. He was too focused on her taste. He relaxed, deciding this was exactly where he wanted to be.
I almost died. But I did it. I saved every single person on the planet.
With that realization, Artemis leaned into the kiss, pushing back at Holly with equal ferocity. For what seemed like an eternity, the two were locked together, neither wanting to stop and end the moment.
But like any land-dwelling creature that has dived into the water knows, one must come up to breathe eventually. Which they did, breaking apart. A set of exhilarated blue-and-brown eyes met a set of puffy, relieved ones.
They were interrupted as the two were suddenly swept into a bone-crushing hug. Butler's professional courtesy could only extend so far. The lovebirds could have their kiss, but at that moment, there was no force on the planet that could prevent Butler from hugging Artemis. And hug him he did.
Artemis felt his breath driven out of him twice in as many moments. It came out as a wheezing chuckle. Most undignified.
The genius was refreshed to find that he didn't quite care. He caught his breath, and then started to laugh. Not his vampire chuckle meant to unsettle, or even his cultured aristocratic laugh, meant to impress. This was a full-throated laugh that went down to his belly. Full of joy.
The joy of being alive.
The others joined him. The trio, who had faced down insane faeries, goblins, trolls, and all manner of criminals had managed to come out victorious, filled the hills with the peals of laughter. Eventually, the mirth and gales subsided. The bodyguard put the two down, and Artemis had returned somewhat to normalcy.
"You know Captain Short," he quipped, "we must stop kissing only on occasions where I have narrowly outwitted my imminent doom."
Holly rolled her eyes and punched his shoulder. Lightly.
"Then stop trying to get yourself killed, mud-boy," she said. "You'll have more opportunities for elf-kissing if you keep your nose out of trouble from now on."
"So I can count on you at any time then?" Artemis asked, tone smug. "After all, I have only been known to be in a state of grave danger and the interim as I prepare for the next danger."
Holly tsked and grabbed Artemis by his tie. She dragged him down to her eye-level.
"Well," she said, her voice slightly husky, "I like the sound of any time."
Butler politely cleared his throat. He looked mildly pained, and for more reasons than his heart.
"I would much prefer it if you simply kept him out of trouble, Holly. I don't think my heart can take another adventure like this."
Immediately both of the flirting offenders sobered up. In Artemis' case it was a considerable sobering up. Butler had almost died so that they could stand here. How many times was it now? Too many times by far.
"No, old friend. I believe I'm done," Artemis said, meaning every word of it. "No more adventures."
Butler's massive frame sagged in relief. He had heard his charge say something to that effect more than once, but this time Butler believed it.
Then Butler noticed something from his vantage point above Holly and Artemis' heads. A small figure sat bolt upright in front of the Berserker Gate. The massive Eurasian man stiffened.
"Artemis," he said, ripping his principal out of his imminent realization that he had just flirted aggressively with the beautiful elf in front of him, "who's that over there?"
Butler's tight voice had Artemis concerned. The massive bodyguard himself couldn't place what was causing him concern, but he could feel his instincts screaming at him. Holly looked in the same direction slowly—as much as tearing her gaze from Artemis was the opposite of what she wanted at the moment—and wasn't quite on the same page as Butler. But she felt something.
"Who is that?" Artemis asked, eyes squinting. "I can't quite make anything out."
"That's probably because I just put back one of your eyes with magic," Holly said. "Be patient, Arty, magical surgeries take time."
She cracked a grin, not being able to resist another jab at the mud-boy who worried her to death.
"Also the eye is lazy, so you might want to do something about that mud-boy."
The elf chuckled to herself as she saw Artemis frantically pat himself down for a mirror, which Butler, not taking his eyes off the small figure, obligingly produced for him. His eye was perfect, and oh-so-wonderful to gaze into, but she couldn't resist teasing his well-groomed behind just a little bit. It took the edge off.
Holly returned her attention to the situation at hand.
"Whoever that is, they're small. Maybe it's Beckett or Juliet?"
Butler immediately looked down in concern.
"Beckett? Juliet? Are they alright? The magic didn't—"
"Definitely not, big man," said Holly, wishing she had her LEP helmet so she could see exactly who the mystery figure was. "They're human through-and-through. The only reason that Artemis was in danger—"
"Holly, it is not your fault," Artemis interrupted, a slight bit more forcefully than strictly necessary. He swallowed, correcting himself.
"I rather enjoy the eye. If you wish to take any responsibility, and, as I will remind you, you oughtn't to as I had essentially stolen the eye. But if you insist, then content yourself with the reason I hesitated so much at the threshold: I am fond of this eye. It reminds me of you, so I was rather hesitant to part with it. And I suspected you would be able to reattach it, so I would not be losing it permanently."
If one were to look in the early dawn light, they would be able to make out Holly Short, arguably the toughest LEPrecon captain, blushing up to the tips of her pointy ears. She coughed, trying to cover up her fluster.
"Sure, Fowl. But make sure the pretty eye you got from me isn't crooked."
"Now that is patently—"
Their gentle bickering was interrupted by a sudden keening wail. It was unearthly, unable to be produced by any creature on the Earth and very few beneath it. It started high, then grew unbearably loud, a jagged cry ripping through the air.
Butler and Artemis both felt goosebumps rise over their whole bodies. The humans both heard it. A funeral dirge. The cry of a banshee. While they clamped their hands over their ears in an attempt to escape that noise, Holly stood there dumbly.
Artemis, wincing at the continued scream, caught Holly's gaze. It was filled with undisguised pity and grief. The elf stared back at Artemis, their mismatched gazes locking.
"It's just so… sad," the elf said.
And just as suddenly as it started, it stopped. The figure fell. Artemis' vision had decided at this moment to return to its normal 20/20. He caught sight of who it was. He almost wished he hadn't.
It was Opal Koboi.