ᗪ乇卂尺 乃乇丂ㄒ 千尺丨乇几ᗪ
Dear Best Friend...
TW: heavy angst warning, non-explicit self-harming mentions, depression, zalgo text, major character death, suicide notes, :'), slight modification of official lyrics btw so please refer to the actual song first. This for modified lyrics, this for not modified lyrics, and for added lyrics/extras.
Midoriya Izuku stood on the edge, pain edging away slowly as a way too familiar song played in the background. It somehow felt… nostalgic, being on the rooftop.
Midoriya Izuku was breaking.
Kacchan- Katsuki wasn't his best friend anymore! He- he never was.
Midoriya Izuku missed the old days.
He missed when Katsuki was still waiting for him back at the playground. He missed when Katsuki didn't yet push him around. He missed when Katsuki would tell him not to fear cause he was here. He missed when Katsuki didn't yet tell him to take a swan dive off a rooftop die. He missed when Kacchan… hasn't gotten his quirk.
Mini fractures race down the young boy's stature, cracking his fragile mask of All Might and general happiness.
Did Kacchan mean those words?
Did he?
D̷͚̞̦̔͐͐ĭ̵̡̩̥d̴̳̑͛ ḧ̵̘̭̱́̾e̷̳̤̜̿͗̑̈́͡?̴̲̣͓̻͆͐̈́͟
He didn't want to think so.
B̷͍̦̳̫̿͌̔̚ư̴̯̎̓̋͠t̶̰͒͊̂̌̄ h̵͙̋̓̓e̴̢̹̤̊̽̐̌'̵̛̹͍̐́̆̇s̴̝̻̞͑̀̃͌̓ b̸̛̛͕͓̤̠̦͆̿͌͛r̵͈͇̆͟ḛ̷̙̲̌͜a̷͉͉͒͂k̶̦̘̮̯̠̋̋̔ͅi̵̎͑̌̎͡͝ͅn̵̟̍g̸͈͍̱̓̏̽̾.̵͎͎̟̒̈́͛̾̌̚ Á̷̟̤̼͑n̶̝̣͉͉͇͗̿̎̊ḑ̸̤̦̪̥̗͝ i̶̟̊̃̈́͊t̵̡̥̠͔̞̝͋̄͆̂̄̔ ḫ̵̛̥̼̍̀͜͡u̴͈͊͒̉̈́͡ȑ̸͎͙͎͕̻t̵̺̜̘̩̮̟͌s̸͚̝̭͆,̸̰͘ i̴̗̮͕̼̟͔̋̐̎͊̈́͝t̶͈̖̼͉̐͘ h̷̜́̉̇͂̚u̷̱̦͔̹̒͂͂͡r̵̨̻̦͍̼̤͗́̀͝t̷̝͎͓̳͚͊͆̓͝͡š̶̥̠͙͇̙̕͜͠ į̸̫̼̝͎̠̀͊́̓̽͝t̴̻̯͇̄͌̏̄ ḩ̵̳͇͋u̷̩̩͈͖̾̚ͅŕ̶͓̺͉͇̼ͅț̸̨̓̊̚͜ṡ̸̰̦͈͙͒̽̃̏͜į̵̊̔̃̀t̸͇̙̎̓̂ͅs̴͈͎̺̫̬̓́̈́̌h̸͎̩̾̈́͡͝ṷ̵̖̱́̿͒͘͜r̵̥̟̻̽ṭ̶̛̠̓̑̔͜s̸̻̊́̍͌̾į̵̂̅͐͝t̴͍̼͊̌̒͆͐̕h̷̖̖͎̦̞̅̋̀͆̆̒͜ǘ̴̖̉̕r̸̛̟͑̋ẗ̸̞̱̭̙́̽̎́́ͅs̴̠̟͇̱͚͗͜ȋ̶̼́͟t̴̡̛̠̲͓͙ͅh̵̝͇̪̮͗͌͆̒͊͝U̷̡̻̪̤̣͚̾͑̐̊̒̋R̸̘̀͒T̶͈̭͍̓́̈́Š̷̢̙̘̭̓̏Ǐ̴̻͕̒̓̄͝T̷̼̣̿̿̏̾͂̈́H̷̡͖̔̐U̸͉̯̺͖̠̍̑̌̓̿̑Ŕ̴̭̠̣̣̏ͅT̸̪̒̒̕S̸̠͓͛̾̿̾̒̚-̷̻̹̹͑̿
Midoriya Izuku fell to the floor, graceless and whimpering.
"Kacchan? Why do you want me gone?"
He cried. And cried. And cried some more.
"It sucks, Kacchan, -"
He whimpered, wincing at how cracked and utterly broken his voice sounded.
"I didn't mean to be quirkless! It's not my fault! I just- I just-,"
Izuku finally b̷͚̗͊̉ṟ̷̌̆̇̔o̴̧͌͂k̴̎͟͟͠͡ȅ̵͓̫͓͖.̶̜̒̌͠
"Stupid Kacchan! Stupid All Might! Why- why am I so weak?!"
He shouted over the railings, heartbreak and guilt crashing over him; drowning him in this sea of emotions where he might not live to see an island.
"Why did I have to ruin our friendship? Kacchan! Aren't you smart?
It's- it's not my fault… no it's not- not my fault not my fault not my f-fault notmyfaultnotmyfaultnotmyfaultNOTMYFAULTNOTMYFAULT- NONONONONO-
WHY DID I HAVE TO BE THIS?!"
Midoriya stood up, wheezing as he asked why it was like this. Why he had to be so weak. Why he couldn't be a hero with Kacchan. Why he just had to become quirkless.
"Why couldn't I have been like the rest of them?"
He shouted. And screamed. And night fell and he ran out of tears. Wasn't running out of tears impossible?
Why did that happen?
...
How does a Midoriya run out of tears?
...
And thoughts ran r̵̘̲͔͓̠̈͟a̷̡͔̋̽̑͝m̵͚̜̯̒̒͡͠ṕ̵̖͕̞̫͖͓͊̋ȁ̷̹̙̊͘ń̶̞́̉̕̚͝t̷̘́̓̏̈̂̽.̷̣̭̦̈́͂̽͠
"Stupid, quirkless Deku!"
"Why is he even alive?"
"Stay away from him!! Do you want to catch the Quirkless disease?"
"I'm SO SORRY IZUKU!"
"Fuck off, Deku you worthless fuck!!"
"Eww!"
"A quirkless would die in the entrance exams of UA!"
"Deku! I never thought you were this fucking stupid!"
"DIE!"
D̶I̶E̶!̶"̶
"̷̹̗̼͙̱̾͊̀̈́͟ͅͅD̶̢̖͍̠͙̯̲̣̂̾̾̀̾̕̕I̶̯̖̯̅È̴͕͓̽ͅ-̴̤̦͕̌̀̐̈́̊͌̕͜!̶̨̻̲͚͈̼̎͡ͅ"̵̱̦̣̜͙́͊͟
--
"̶D̶E̶K̶U̶!̶ D̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ D̶O̶ T̶H̶I̶S̶!̶"̶
̶
̶"̶M̶I̶D̶O̶R̶I̶Y̶A̶-̶K̶U̶N̶ W̶H̶A̶T̶'̶S̶ G̶O̶I̶N̶G̶ O̶N̶?̶!̶"̶
̶
̶"̶D̶E̶K̶U̶!̶!̶ I̶ W̶A̶N̶T̶ Y̶O̶U̶ T̶O̶ S̶A̶V̶E̶ U̶R̶A̶R̶A̶K̶A̶ A̶N̶D̶ I̶ W̶A̶N̶T̶ Y̶O̶U̶ A̶L̶I̶V̶E̶!̶ Y̶O̶U̶ H̶E̶A̶R̶ M̶E̶?̶"̶
̶
̶"̶M̶I̶D̶O̶R̶I̶Y̶A̶!̶ P̶L̶E̶A̶S̶E̶ M̶A̶K̶E̶ M̶E̶ U̶S̶E̶ M̶Y̶ F̶I̶R̶E̶!̶
"̶I̶-̶I̶Z̶U̶K̶U̶!̶"̶
̶
̶"̶D̶E̶K̶U̶-̶!̶"̶
̶
̶"̶M̶I̶D̶O̶R̶I̶Y̶A̶ N̶O̶-̶!̶"̶
̶
̶"̶G̶E̶T̶ T̶H̶I̶S̶ F̶U̶C̶K̶I̶N̶G̶ K̶I̶D̶ A̶ T̶H̶E̶R̶A̶P̶I̶S̶T̶ P̶L̶E̶A̶S̶E̶-̶!̶"̶
̶
̶"̶M̶I̶D̶O̶R̶I̶Y̶A̶,̶ P̶L̶E̶A̶S̶E̶ L̶I̶V̶E̶ T̶O̶ B̶E̶ M̶A̶N̶L̶Y̶!̶"̶
̶
̶"̶F̶U̶C̶K̶!̶"̶
--
He didn't hear them.
Not like he could bear to listen in the first place.
He tore a page out of his Campus notebook and shakily uncapped a pen from his pencil case. And began to write his thoughts down on the already dry paper.
Dear Best Friend,
I hope that you're good, genuinely good. Since you've been gone it has not been easy, but I want to say- thank you. Even though it broke me into a million little pieces when you left, I want to say thank you. Even though I miss you every day, I want to say thank you.
Tears dropped onto the page, hand aching and slightly bleeding from clenching them so hard in the hours that slipped by him. He didn't want to continue this, but he doesn't want to leave anyone who reads this hanging, right?
He doesn't like cliffhangers in books, so why do it in real life?
He shakily brought his pen back to the paper and wrote his thoughts down.
Thank you for inspiring me, inspiring me to face my fears. You make me want to be better, you make me want to work on myself, and even though doing this without you is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, I'm doing it. And I wish you could see me, I wish you could be here, to see me transform into this new person but you're not here. And I hope you're proud of me.
His entire being hurt. But he wrote, and wrote and wrote and wrote until the end of his page came and he was forced to stop.
But luckily, he spilled all of it onto that one page.
He did that again and poured his heart out for his mom. Because even though she helped him die a little inside when he was four, she still deserved closure.
And then he took off his shoes.
His socks.
His notebooks.
And his note.
Signed, Midoriya Izuku
And he fell.
--
Bakugo Katsuki wanted to die.
He hated himself.
His ex-friend did what he said.
He didn't mean it.
...did he?
Bakugo Mitsuki, Bakugo Masaru, and Midoriya Inko cried their hearts out. It rained so hard on that day.
Was the sky crying with them?
Bakugo decided that was why it rained so hard.
The nerd deserved to be cried for.
--
It was finally time for his eulogy.
No one other than the heroes on the scene and some distressed and sympathetic passersby and some of Bakugo's classmates came.
The one's Izuku protected from him but never befriended.
It was his fault.
Izuku's suicide note was heavy in his pocket as he applied the last layer of makeup to hide the bags under his eyes from lack of sleep.
His nights were full of burnt notebooks, pens, and the green mini sun.
He hated that Izuku was so bright.
He hated that he erased this light.
It was his fault.
"Izuku was always so… bright. He never gave up on becoming a hero despite him being quirkless. I regret aiding in his death. Society's fucked up, isn't it?"
Mitsuki wanted to smack her boy for the curse words.
"He even gave me closure. I don't think I deserved that. I don't. But this-," Bakugo took the note out of his pocket and waved it to find Izuku's messy Kanji, blotted ink and traces of blood on the page, and the audience gasped a little.
"-wasn't supposed to exist."
Wasn't ever supposed to be thought about.
Bakugo teared up slightly and he quickly tilted his head away to wipe the tears forming in the corner of his eyes.
"And before I destroy it, I'm going to read this out loud first."
Inko covered her mouth and leaned into Masaru and Mitsuki's chests before letting out a soft whimper, and the tears she's been holding.
Bakugo Katsuki regretted being born.
And he started, taking a few seconds to breathe in.
"Dear Best Friend,I hope that you're good, genuinely good. Since you've been gone it has not been easy, but I want to say- thank you. Even though it broke me into a million little pieces when you left, I want to say thank you. Even though I miss you every day, I want to say thank you.
Bakugo Katsuki regretted being the cause of this.
Thank you for inspiring me, inspiring me to face my fears. You make me want to be better, you make me want to work on myself, and even though doing this without you is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, I'm doing it. And I wish you could see me, I wish you could be here, to see me transform into this new person but you're not here. And I hope you're proud of me.
He let the tears go.
A river of salt down his flushed cheeks.
He knew how horrible he was.
I'm not mad, I'm just… in pain. But what's the sun without a little rain, right? I once told you that I would conquer the world with just one hand as long as you were holding the other. Now, all I have is the thought of you holding it, but I will still conquer the world wherever you are.
I will take the world by storm for you, Izu.I'll be a fucking hero for you.
You will stay strong and stand tall, because you know I wouldn't like to see you fall. Whatever success I am celebrating, I will always think of you first because you are my biggest inspiration and I want you to be proud of me. I just want you to be proud of me.
You admired me…?
And I want you to keep going too, I want you to win even though I can't celebrate it with you. I want you to love yourself, I want you to be yourself, be the light you see in the world. You have everything you need inside of you, but you know that I told you more than enough, h̶e̶h̶e̶. But I want you to always remember, I hope you remember my words whenever you feel alone. I hope you remember the words that I told you when you were down on yourself. And I hope you find the strength to get back up if you ever fall. I know you can, I know you will, the person I saw inside of you can handle it well. You're intelligent, you're wonderful. You can move mountains if you need to.
Don't 'hehe' me you little shit.
I'm going to be better though.
And I will hold your words to heart.
You should believe in yourself because I believe in you. And no matter what happens, no matter what you do or where you are in this world and no matter where I am. I will always love you, and that will never change. Maybe I am the sun, and you are the moon but they can also be seen together in the same sky sometimes. Until we meet again, p̶l̶e̶a̶s̶e̶ take care.
Signed, Midoriya Izuku
Bakugo Katsuki broke down and was immediately engulfed with the miniature family they subconsciously created upon Izuku's death, Inko hugging him first and Mitsuki and Masaru engulfing them in a mess of tears, snot, and warmth.
Bakugo Katsuki hated himself, but damn if he won't do his best to be a hero for the nerd.
(The suicide note ended up framed in Katsuki's dorm room with his not friends crowding around the note. They asked why it was there.
Katsuki said, "it's because it was the last of the nerd's heart."
And because of that, it was framed in gold.)
...want another ending?
Please tell me if you do!!
-ThalassaBlue