Disclaimer: Hi! I do not own the beautiful magic of J.K. Rowling.
There is some extra explicit language in this chapter. If you are not okay with it… it is an "M" story.
Two more things: was down earlier when I was writing this. Also, I am so so so sorry to everyone in Malaysia. I just found out that they banned this sight and I feel really bad. I hope it is not permanent. I love you all so much!
Also, someone complained that they did not know what was going on. Yeah, um so… James went into a coma and someone lit Ginny's house on fire so she went to go live with Harry. Ginny has been kidnapped and had been tried to be murdered. Harry just died after running after her supposed kidnapper and James' hurter. That is the concise, negative way of looking at it, but it is what happened...
Sorry for the long author's note, let's get going:
"Neighbor reported disaster… severe burning… depression… avoid alcohol… fire… gone… dead…" Ginny drifted in and out of conscience.
She wanted to fly. Harry floated above her, his tousled black hair sparkling. But she was stuck. In the water. The water burned. Her skin crawled. But when she stretched her hands up, they were coated in blood. The water turned into blood. It grabbed her. Harry stared pitifully above her and flew mere feet above. She need him. Him. Hi. H. Harry.
Finally she woke up. Cold gray eyes stared into hers. Ginny closed her eyes in ultimate pain willing memories to go away. Willing to die. At least she could join Harry then. Ginny closed her eyes and willed herself to let go. Instead of relief though, she felt a stinging smack to her cheek.
"Ginny Weasley, you were never a quitter and you sure as hell are not one now," Ginny stared up into bloodshot brown eyes. The intensity of the light behind Hermione was too bright and Ginny squinted her eyes. Unconsciously, tears leaked out of her eyes.
Slowly, she heard the soft slam of the door as people filed out of the room. Finally, Ginny could just hear Hermione's breathing.
Everything came flooding back and her breathing picked up.
"No, no, no… I failed. Hermione. I f-f-failed. He's gone," Ginny sobbed, and she felt Hermione's tears and she bent over and sobbed into Ginny's shoulder. Everything was over for the two.
One week later, nothing changed. Except that no one was home. Ginny had left three days later and hadn't looked back. The flat gathered dust. James went to go live with Andromeda. And everything was empty. Without Harry. Newspapers hadn't gathered information yet. It would only be days.
Ginny downed the amber liquid and felt it burn her throat. Every drink, she imagined it was burning her memories and feelings away.
The Muggle bar was quiet for a Saturday night, but not overly so. Ginny would not be noticed. Despite the many bodies, Ginny was cold.
A beefy man smirked at her from across the bar. Ginny flinched and downed another shot. But with every passing minute, Ginny grew colder.
Someone else would warm her tonight, for a change. She succumbed herself to the man.
"Ron." Hermione pulled Ron over into a desert closet in Grimmauld Place.
"Yes Hermione," Ron answered nonchalantly.
"Haven't you noticed? Ginny needs help." Ron nodded again.
"Sure… We all do," Ron attempted a grin, but failed miserably. "Listen, Hermione-"
"Shut up Ronald Bilius Weasley!" Ron stopped altogether at Hermione's tone of voice. "Shut the hell up! I am so fucking sick of everyone pretending that Ginny's OK. That Ginny left for her own good."
"..."
"Don't even fucking try to give me that bullshit about a Healer. Or a therapist. You know perfectly well what she needs. She needs someone to love her!"
"But… no one can like Harry did."
"Yes well she can sure as hell try! I am fucking sick of everyone using that same excuse. I thought… I thought, 'Why doesn't anyone do anything about this?' Then I realized, we are the 'someone'." Ron stopped. The rant Hermione just made included more swear words than she had ever said in her life.
"Please Ron. Try to understand. What if… what if you lost me?" Ron stopped altogether this time and the blood drained from his face.
"Let's find her."
Black. HONK! Ginny stumbled as the wind pushed her back. The car sped past, followed by many others. Everything felt fuzzy. The man… she left? She couldn't even remember. All she knew was that she was looking for something… someone. Harriet? Harold? Harry? As soon as her mind crossed the name, pain coursed through her head, and tears swelled in her eyes. Ginny shut her eyes and slumped against the wall.
"Oooh. Rough night? We can help you," Two drunk men slurred as the wind lifted up her skirt. Ginny pulled out her wand and tried to use it to accio a headache potion, but instead cast them Bat Bogey hexes. Or so she thought before she passed out against the building. B. L. A. C. K.
Where do we end? When do we give up? Why do we stop? How can we cease? All things Ginny wondered as she sat in the cold Muggle cafe, Hermione and Ron next to her - begging to help. They couldn't do anything. No one could. Finally, Hermione and Ron stared at each other, consternation so heavy it was almost tangible.
They said the one word that would wake Ginny up. … James. Ginny snapped out of it.
"Where is he?!" Some of Ginny's old determination flooded back into her. Hermione and Ron looked at each other again.
"Ginny - here's the thing. James, well, he isn't doing well."
"What the hell - Hermione winced, recalling her episode earlier - do you mean? I want to see James. Please."
"Ginny, he's upset. While you were gone." Ginny gasped as she realized what she had done - after his father had died, she left.
"I'm so s-s-selfish. I'm s-s-so sorry." Ginny buried her head in her arms and Ron heard a little, muffled sob. He hated seeing his little sister like this.
"Listen, Ginny. Hey." Ron moved his chair next to her and hugged her while she recovered. For the first time in the past week, Ginny felt safe.
"James?" Molly asked him. He shook his head and looked away. His once favorite meal, mac and cheese, now laid cold and untouched on his plate. Suddenly, there was a loud knock, and James ran to the door.
Right as he laid his hand on the door knob, it swung open. Hermione, Ron, and Ginny - Hermione not so much - towered over James. James looked at Ron and Hermione until his eyes fell on Ginny.
The reaction was instantaneous, and he dashed towards Ginny and lept into her arms. He let out a little squeak.
"Mommy." He cried. "I want Daddy." Ginny felt tears slip down her cheeks. Hermione, Ron, Molly, and Arthur (in the corner), silently slipped into another room.
And for once, Ginny had no idea what to do.
Hours… Days… Weeks… Months… Thanksgiving passed uneventfully. Routines continued: Ginny went to the Holyhead Harpies and returned home to James, Hermione, and Ron; She found that she could no longer function on her one.
Routine overwhelmed her life and soon it was only "live your life day by day and try to survive". Good luck.
Behind the Quaffles or the toy broomsticks, there was a startling truth that Harry wasn't coming back.
Ginny shoved her Quidditch bag onto a chair and collapsed.
"Hey!" She called hoarsely before remembering that Hermione and Ron were out at a Ministry event. Molly had taken James for the night.
Then why was the bath running? Fragrances of… rose? wafted through the air as Ginny moved into the house.
A steaming plate of homemade falafel laid on the table with a glass of red wine. Ginny grinned.
"Hey."
Ginny screamed and turned as Hermione stepped out.
"Oh my god, Hermione, you nearly gave me a heart attack!"
"Sorry, Ron went alone and I thought we could have a… girl's night?" Ginny grinned despite her shock and beating heart. For a second, she thought it was… someone else.
"Sounds lovely." Ginny sat down at the table, and they ate the falafel.
Interestingly enough, Ron was an amazing chef - better than Hermione, in fact. The only thing actually, Ron claimed.
When talks of Quidditch and work at the Ministry failed, they ate in silence: it was not a cold silence, but rather a peaceful silence, only broken minutes later as Ginny broke down.
Tears streamed down Ginny's face.
It was cold summer night. Harry had completed his Hogwarts graduation ceremony mere hours ago, and now, Ginny and Harry had retreated for lunch: dinner was reserved for the rest of the Weasleys/Granger.
Hand in hand, the couple walked. London was busy for a Wednesday afternoon. Anxious shoppers and rebellious teens strolled around the square. The smell of hamburgers and soda wafted through the air. A warm breeze shuffled towards them, toying with Ginny's waist-long hair. Trash laid in hidden heaps, protecting the homeless from the business of the approaching night.
The sun began to dip as the couple walked and talked casually.
"So… what do you want to do?" Harry muttered happily, "I mean, where do you want to eat? Or whatever." Even after five months into their relationship, Harry still was nervous and got butterflies in his stomach whenever he looked at Ginny, something he would never admit.
"Er… oh! There is an amazing Muggle place around here… up for falafel?" Harry looked at Ginny curiously as she explained the deliciousness of falafel.
Soon they were sitting in a quiet booth, broken only by Harry and Ginny's quiet exclamations of how good it was. Harry looked up, staring at her with wide eyes.
Her face was beautiful. Long, ginger hair framed a petite face that held so much love. Scars were desperately hidden by a thin layer of foundation, but even without the makeup, her face was gorgeous. Long, dark eyelashes covered chestnut orbs that blinked at Harry curiously. A bit of falafel dangled off of her pink lips. She was adorably cute.
And without thinking, without hesitation, Harry leaned over and kissed her, their first kiss since their relationship before the Battle of Hogwarts.
Ginny remember it perfectly. The feeling of his warm lips pressed on hers, how she waited so long for this moment. How his pert lips were always a temptation to her like a child and a piece of candy. And the moment was everything she dreamed of and so much more.
"No-no-no-no-no-no…" Ginny screamed before vomitting again. Tears slipped freely from her eyes and she wish she had her potions. Was everything just a bad dream? Hermione held back her hair as she dove in again. When the brunette was sure that Ginny would not vomit again, she ran to the cabinet and pulled out the Dreamless Sleep Draught. The potion tipped precariously, but the purple liquid stayed in its bottle. Ginny downed the acidic potion before passing out in front of the toilet.
…
Ginny stared in the mirror. Unflattering purple eye-bags and flushed cheeks gave Ginny a mad woman look. Her lips were tinted slightly purple from taking the Dreamless Sleep Draught so much. The only thing that kept her awake was James. But they couldn't even stay by each other for too long before they fell back into a miserable state.
Now Ginny was in St. Mungo's Hospital. Three weeks ago, Ginny had taken the Dreamless Sleep Draught one too many times after she couldn't fall asleep. When overtaken, it caused a coma. That's why Ginny was here. Exactly thirteen minutes ago, Ginny had woken up, surrounded up by her family.
It was too much and Ginny burst in to tears. Even now, Ginny wasn't sure if she could live.
Selfish or not, Ginny didn't want to live. The only thing, in fact, that kept her here was James.
"Mommy!" James cried as he burst into the bathroom. Perfect timing, Ginny thought, as she finished the concealment charm over her face. She didn't want James to see her like this. Or anybody. But as he reached up, the charm broke. The Healers warned her that this would happen - lack of magical ability.
And for the first time, since Harry had died, he looked relieved.
"Mommy! You back." He grinned happily. Ginny's heart melted and she hugged him tightly.
"Yes James. Mommy's back." Ginny smiled. And sadly (uncharacteristically), the smile felt tight and unfamiliar.
His lips were as sweet as cotton candy to her. His toned, muscled arms easily pushed her on his twin bed that Ron and Harry were supposed to be sharing. Ginny giggled and squealed. She tried to run to the other side of the bed, but Harry grabbed her waist: in turn, she grabbed his wrist and pulled him underneath her. They shared a passionate kiss before things began to get heated.
Harry's hands snaked underneath her thin shirt to her lower back where he flushed a bright red. She wasn't wearing a bra. Ginny quickly disposed of Harry's shirt. They continued snogging until it was obviously a decision whether they were going to have a sex or not.
Panting, Harry murmurred something that was lost to Ginny's ears, but she understood. But the Sunday winter evening was not the moment she wanted. Usually it was the other way around, Harry telling Ginny "no".
But as a drafty cold air whispered through the house, the couple grew thankful for the thick quilts and just snuggled and cuddled. It was better than any kind of sex, not that they ventured to do anything of the such. They stayed up late into the night, whispering "I love you"'s to each other or just "hey" to keep each other from the confines of sleep. But as Ginny drifted off, Harry didn't mind because it just have him more option to stare at her beautiful face. Even in sleep, her face was like one of a godess: perfectly beautiful. She wasn't perfect, but that was what made her so beautiful.
And Harry knew, no matter what, he would never leave her.
It was still hard to think of even… three months afterwards. The fact that Harry wasn't going to come home.
Okay I owe everyone an apology. James definitely deserves more attention and also I KILLED HARRY POTTER OVER THE HOLIDAYS. I definitely brought down the festivities. That was mean of me. SPOILER ALERT WARNING BELOW
Also you will see more of both in the next chapter so…
Sorry for not publishing this before Christmas, I didn't want to bring down the mood. )):
Thank you everyone for reading this! School and everything has been making me really busy, but fortunately I think I might be able to get in another chapter soon!
Bye now! Oh and also… for a Christmas (or any other holiday) can you please leave me a review? (;