Authoress Note: So for anyone who is reading this for the first time or the first time in a long time, yes this is the first time I've updated in 3 years. Life was happening, don't ask.

Luke: So... does this mean you've matured from your chaotic self? Since you're three years older?

Joanfenny: Yes and no

Luke: What does that mean?

Joanfenny: I am perfectly capable of being a functional person in society, but I can still be chaotic when given an excuse to do so.

Luke: Meaning...?

Joanfenny: I can take care of my mental health, have a job, have a healthy social life, and take 18 school credits at once.

Vader: Most impressive.

Luke: Wow you wern't able to do any of that last time you updated this!

Joanfenny: I know right! And I also enjoy scaring people with exorcism stories.

Everyone: ...

Luke: Why...?

Joanfenny: I am a morbidly curious person, Luke, now are we going to get on with this or what?

Luke: *clears his throat* Ah yes, Joanfenny does not own Star Wars, or rubber chickens, or me. But she does own a car.

Joanfenny: Actually it died over the summer.

Luke: Ouch.

22 I will not start a political campaign in the middle of the strip mall

"And if you vote for me, I promise free Coronavirus vaccines by the end of the year!" General Grievous shouted form the mini train he was riding.

"Dude this story takes place in 2017!" One random bystander yelled.

"And the elections are over, dummy!" Another shouted.

"And free ice cream for everyone!" Grievous added. The battle droids sitting in the passenger seats cheered, even though they couldn't eat ice cream.

"Now you're talking!" The bystanders yelled.

Soon General Grievous had an army of random shoppers behind him as the train (which was going 5 mph) headed to the nearest ice cream store. Where they all got the "Vote for Grievous" signs I have no idea.

23 I will not drop the Authoress' wand down the sewage drain.

So turns out Joanfenny's wand couldn't create ships, in fact that was one of the few things it couldn't do. But Kylo learned that the hard way, and now Rey was chasing him around the outside of the mall while waving a bad of fountain change around.

"You have a serious problem Ren! You can't just magic people into falling for you!"

"But isn't that exactly how ships work?!" Kylo yelled over his shoulder. Sheesh, running around in dark clothes in 90 degree weather is a terrible idea.

"Not here they don't! Haven't you every heard of consent?!"

At this point Rey was just an arms reach away from Kylo, so close she accidentally stepped on his cape and they both ungracefully tumbled to the ground.

"Get off of me!" Kylo grunted at he spit out gravel. But Rey didn't listen. She shot her head in the air and dug her elbow into Kylo's back as she screamed.

"What? Is it a wampa?" Kylo struggled to get up with the underweight scavenger still on his back.

"The wand!" Rey screamed.

And sure enough, the sparkly magenta wand was bouncing on the sidewalk in front of them, until it fell headfirst (if it had a head) into the sewage drain pipe.

Kylo and Rey could only gap in horror.

"My grandfather's gonna kill me." Kylo mumbled.

"Forget Vader, Joan's gonna tear you to shreds!"

24 I will not attack storeowners with rubber chickens

Darth Maul was a Sith Lord that was too angry to die, but he was also a man with an agenda. He'd already got his gardening gloves, packing tape, a screw driver, and a mug with his face on it, now all he needed were rubber chickens.

Other than the whole nun incident, his shopping trip had been surprisingly uneventful. He was beginning to theorize that he was the only one who actually came to shop, everyone else just wanted to cause chaos and avoid the consequences.

Maul shrugged it off, he first needed to know where he could find rubber chickens.

It didn't take him long to find the answer.

The entire red squadron rebel fleet stormed passed him, chasing a poor employee with a yellow apron. Some of them held toy X-wings and were making flying noises with their mouths, others were waving rubber chickens in the air like squeaky yellow flags.

Maul stared at the possibly drunk group as they all disappeared down the mail walkway, knocking over a lamp booth thing in the process.

Then he silently spun on his heels and walked the opposite direction.

Authoress' Note: It's good to be back in the chaos.

Luke: Glad to see back at it, I didn't know you still had it in you.

Joanfenny: Neither did I honestly. Anywho, thank you all so much for tooning in, old viewers and new. Remember to follow, favorite, and review. And take care of yourself above all else. It's a tough time right now, so remember to be gentle and patient with yourself.

Kylo: wow, that was oddly genuine of you.

Joanfenny: Eh, there were times in my life when I needed to hear that, and I'm sure they're readers out there who could use it too. Also have you seen my wand?

Kylo: No. *runs away*