CHAPTER 22
"Thank God. He's going home." Quinn said. Puck snorted.
"He is so not going home!" Puck remarked.
"I can not believe you just told him that!" Sam exclaimed.
"What do you mean?" Quinn asked.
"Quinn, here's what you just told Finn..." Puck said. "Finn! Whatever you do, don't go up there! There's a beautiful girl who wants to have sex with you!"
"No, he's not going up there! He has more sense than that." Quinn stated. Finn did have more sense than that, but after 2 am, his good sense was sound asleep. Moments later, his cab pulled up outside Santana's apartment and he paid and got out. As he walked up the stairs to the building, once again, a figment of his subconscious caused Rachel to appear in front of him.
"So you're really doing this? You're going up there?" She asked.
"You want to get out the way?" Finn snapped.
"I'm not in the way." She said, softly. Finn knew she was right but he sighed.
"You know, if you had just called me, I wouldn't be here." He said, pushing past her and walking into the building. Moments later, Santana let him in and he stepped inside.
"Hi." She said, nervously.
"Hi." Finn said, smiling faintly at her. "So, I brought some fruit for the juice. I got oranges, I got mangoes, I got berries…"
"Or we could just drink wine." She suggested. Finn nodded.
"Make it a big glass." He asked. Santana nodded and walked into the kitchen to pour the two glasses. "So, how are you doing?"
"Have you ever had one of those days where nothing at all that monumental happens but by the end of it, you have no idea who you are anymore and what the hell you're doing with your life?" Santana asked. Finn chuckled.
"Well, I'm trying to make it as a musician but am failing miserably so about once a week." Finn replied, jokingly.
"I don't know. It was just a rough day and the only person I wanted to see at the end of it was you." Santana said. Finn blushed slightly. "So, um… how was the big phone call with your girlfriend?" She asked. Finn looked down. When the clock strikes 2, just go to sleep.
"We broke up." He lied. Santana's eyes widened.
"What?" She asked, surprised.
"Yeah, she, uh… she finally called. We talked for a while about how hard long distance is and she dumped me." Finn added, lying through his teeth.
"Finn, I'm so sorry. That's just… awful." She said, trying desperately to keep the smile off her face but Finn noticed. He raised an eyebrow and smirked.
"You're smiling." He stated. Santana blushed.
"Am I?" She asked. "No I'm not!"
Finn raised an eyebrow at her again.
"I'm a news anchor. Smiling's part of the job." She stammered. "You're smiling too." She noticed. Finn nodded.
"Yeah, um… I have no idea what that's all about." He said, looking straight into her eyes and walking closer.
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"There's got to be a morning after…"
Sam, Puck and Quinn sat at the karaoke bar, listening to a Korean man dressed as Elvis sing his heart out on stage.
"How much does Korean Elvis rock?" Sam asked. "I'll answer that. Infinity! He rocks… infinity."
"Okay, it's time for bed." Quinn said, starting to stand up.
"What, no!" Puck exclaimed. "It's 2:30!"
"And nothing good ever happens after 2 am." Quinn said. Puck shook his head.
"You know, I have found in my travels… that all the best stories in my life happen after 2 am." Puck responded. "The Liberty Bell incident, the little scrape I got in at the Russian embassy, the almost four-way…"
"You never had a four-way." Sam laughed.
"I said almost!" Puck snapped. "All those things happened after 2 am, because after 2 am is when things get, audience, say it with me, legendary!"
"We're going home." Quinn muttered. Puck rolled his eyes.
"What's that? Interesting theory, Puck, but I'll need some proof?" Puck said, pretending not to have heard Quinn. He then turned to Korean Elvis, who had just walked off-stage. "Korean Elvis. How would you like to have a drink with me and my friends?" Puck asked him.
"Rock 'n' roll!" The man replied. Puck grinned and turned to Sam and Quinn.
"And it begins." Puck grinned.
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"So, um… hey, I got a new phone." Finn said, trying to make small talk and pulling out a phone from his pocket. "It's the same as yours. Look."
"Oh, yeah. Do you like it?" She asked.
"Yeah. Yeah." Finn replied, nervously. "This is some solid small talk." He remarked. She giggled. Finn took a deep breath. "You know, I had that other phone, and it was good, but I think the whole time a little part of me wanted this phone instead. This phone… um… feels right."
Santana immediately understood what he was implying but before either one of them could say anything, his phone rang and they jumped.
"Um… I should take this." Finn said. Santana nodded and Finn briefly stepped out of the apartment before answering the phone. "Hello?"
"Finn, this is your main man K.E." Korean Elvis said into the phone from the cab with Puck, Sam and Quinn. "I want you to shake your tail feathers down here ASAP, you dig?"
"Sorry about that." Sam said, taking the phone from Korean Elvis. Finn raised an eyebrow.
"Was that Korean Elvis?" He asked, confused.
"I'll explain later." Sam said. "Hey, we're headed down to MacLaren's."
Finn gritted his teeth.
"Um… actually… funny story… I'm at Santana's." He stammered. "Yeah, and, um… I might have done something bad. I just lied and told her I broke up with Rachel."
"Finn, I don't want to swear in front of Korean Elvis, but what the bleep are you doing, dude?!" Sam exclaimed.
"What do you expect from me? It's Santana." Finn replied. "I mean, Rachel's great, but… it's Santana! I've made up my mind. I'm going to end it with Rachel."
"Gonna?" Quinn shouted into the phone.
"Yes. First thing tomorrow." Finn said.
"Okay, but-but, as of right now at 2:45 am, you still have a girlfriend!" Quinn spat. "Look, Finn, I love you, I love Santana but if you do this right now, your entire future with her will be built on a crime. Just go home, Finn. Don't do this the wrong way!"
"Damn it, I hate how you're always right!" Finn muttered. "Okay. I'm coming home. I'll see you soon." He said, before hanging up and walking back into the apartment.
"Hey!" Santana exclaimed as he walked in. He sat next to her on the sofa but stood up moments later.
"I should probably get going." He stammered. "It's pretty late. I'm sorry. I…"
"Oh. Oh, no. I understand. It's fine." Santana responded.
"Can I call you tomorrow?" Finn asked as he opened the door.
"Totally. Totally. Call me tomorrow." Santana said.
"Okay. Good night, Santana." He said, and the two of them hugged. However, as they were hugging, Santana's hands slowly moved around his neck, and Finn's around her waist, and before they knew it, their lips brushed against one another…
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Moments later, Finn was on top of Santana on the sofa, and the two of them were kissing passionately.
"Oh, my God. We're making out!" Santana said. "This is crazy!"
"Right. Right?" Finn exclaimed.
"Should we go to my room?" She asked. "I mean, there's five dogs in there, but…"
"Yeah." Finn murmured against her lips. Remembering his girlfriend in Germany, Finn leapt to his feet. "I just, um… I have to run to the bathroom real quick." He stammered, grabbing his phone that was on the coffee table and walking into the bathroom. He shut the bathroom door behind him and he put his head in his hands. What was he doing? Then, when he turned around, Rachel was standing behind him once again. Finn jumped in surprise and glared at her.
"Stop doing that!" He exclaimed, which was rather silly given that she was a figment of his imagination.
"Whatcha doin'?" She asked.
"I'm calling you." Finn said. "We're breaking up. I'm doing this right now. I'm coming out of this bathroom a single man."
"Okay. Say, Finn… how long do you think that conversation is going to be?" Rachel asked. "Length of an average pee? No. We're gonna be on the phone for at least 20 minutes. Santana's out there. She's gonna think you're in here taking a massive…"
"What do you want from me?" Finn snapped. "People break up. It happens."
"Not like this." She said softly. "Not from the bathroom of the girl that you're about to sleep with."
Finn sighed.
"Look, it's not ideal, but…"
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Meanwhile, back at the bar, Puck was still trying to prove that good things can happen after 2 am. Korean Elvis had just finished singing to a very uncomfortable Quinn and Puck laughed.
"Come on, Quinn! How many women can say they've been personally serenaded by Korean Elvis?!"
"Well, I think he just spat on me." Quinn snapped. Sam sighed.
"Okay, Puck, you tried. I think that's great, but we're going." Sam said, starting to get up.
"No! No, come on! Dude, we haven't hit legendary yet. We're only at the 'le'!" Puck exclaimed. "We still got the 'gen.' The 'da'. The 'ry'."
"Okay, if we're at the 'le,' then I say we follow it up with a 't's go home.'" Quinn stated.
"No, no, no, no, no! Baby, don't go!" Korean Elvis said to Quinn. "Just one dance, huh?"
"Okay, seriously. Stop!" Quinn snapped. Korean Elvis didn't though. He grabbed her hands.
"Hey, I know what you like." He smirked, creepily, whispering something in her ear. Quinn's face filled with disgust when she heard what he said and she kneed him between the legs. And so, Puck was right. The night was legendary. It would come to be known as the Time Quinn Kicked Korean Elvis in the Nards.
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"You're right. I owe you a real breakup call." Finn said to Rachel in the bathroom. "I'll call you tomorrow."
"Good. So you're gonna go home?" Rachel asked.
"Why should I have to go home?" Finn stated. "You know, there's every chance Santana's the woman I'm going to marry."
"Finn…" Rachel said.
"It could happen!" He exclaimed. "And so really, what's it gonna matter in 50 years if I jump the gun b one night? Look, I-I know this is a moral gray area, but… it's Santana. And I'm exhausted. I am exhausted from pretending I'm not in love with her. I think that makes this okay."
"Oh, please. You just want to get laid!" Santana said. Finn sighed.
"Yes, I do. You got me! That is exactly what I want right now." Finn spat. "And so what? I want this. She wants this. It's happening, and if you have a problem with it, don't be in Germany! It's been nice pretending to talk to you. Thanks for not calling me and good night."
At that moment, Finn took his phone out from his pocket and Rachel raised an eyebrow.
"Um… that's not your phone." She stated. Finn's eyes widened. That wasn't his phone. Him and Santana had the same phone, which meant…
Finn quickly walked out of the bathroom to see Santana on his phone.
"Okay. Bye." She said to the person on the phone. Finn's heart dropped. She glared at him. "I thought it was mine, so I answered it."
"Was it…?" Finn started.
"It was your girlfriend." Santana spat. "You might want to call her back."
Santana then threw his phone at him and kicked him out of the apartment. Outside, Finn put his head in his hands. There it was: the stupidest thing he'd ever done. In one night, he had managed to hurt two people he cared about, and none of it would have happened if he had just listened to his mom. When it's 2 am, just go to sleep.
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