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When Jay returned to the living room, he couldn't help but grin. Erin was fast asleep against the couch cushion, empty coffee cup still in hand. Piper was on the couch beside her, in a position that almost mirrored her older sister. She too was asleep on the couch, angelic features relaxed. The last thing he wanted to do was wake them up, so instead he grabbed his laptop from beneath the coffee table and settled himself on the ground next to the television. He wanted to be sure that if Piper startled awake, she'd be able to see him.
In the two weeks they'd been together, Jay had only begin to put the pieces together of Piper's story. While she trusted him to keep her safe, Jay knew that she was keeping a lot of things buried within, knowing that once they left her lips she'd never be able to take them back. Jay recognized the feeling, having had a turbulent childhood as well. While his was difficult for other reasons, his sessions with Dr. Kim had helped him to stop comparing his hardships to others in an effort to minimize his pain.
There was so much about therapy and working on himself that made Jay feel better, stronger and overall more equipped to handle having a child in his home. Heck, he even felt more equipped to talk to Erin, or Hailey or even his boss. It constantly amazed him at how much better he was doing, and how much he wished he'd taken the time to really take care of himself before.
The reality was is that he didn't know. But Jay learned that once someone knows better, they can do better, and he was determined to do better. He promised himself, as he glanced up at the sleeping sisters on his couch, that he'd help Piper get whatever help she needed. He began researching local therapists who specialized in children, and sent a text to Dr. Kim to see if he had any contacts.
After Erin's much needed morning nap, Jay wanted to give Piper more time to get to know her sister. He decided a trip to Erin's favorite taco place across town was in order, and smiled in relief when Erin shot him a grateful look. She knew just how hard he was trying to get her little sister to warm up to her.
Piper was more comfortable with Erin with each passing hour, continuing to engage and participate in conversations with Jay's encouragement. As Erin watched Jay with Piper, she was overcome with just how fatherly he was. Her little sister heeded her ex-boyfriend's words and stood close to him in the crowded restaurant, seeking comfort and security that had been denied to her for so long. She giggled at his silly dad jokes, and Jay lit up every time she did. There was something so familial, so domestic about Piper and Jay, and it tugged at Erin's heart.
"You about ready for bed, kiddo?" Jay glanced over at the exhausted little girl beside him on the couch. She was sitting between him and Erin as they watched the Cubs against the Red Sox. After tacos and a stroll in the park, Piper was wiped. The game had also been relatively exciting, and Erin was providing her little sister with all her favorite Cubs trivia.
"10 more minutes?" Piper asked hopefully, "We're only at the fifth inning and the Cubs are only down by two."
"You already got an extra fifteen, Pipes," Jay gave the little girl a knowing glance, "Too much screen time isn't good for you. But we'll watch the recap on SportsCenter tomorrow over breakfast, deal?"
"Deal," Piper nodded and flashed a small smile.
"Alrighty, you get ready and I'll be in to say good night," Jay instructed, doing his best to sound authoritative but also gentle, "Remember-"
"Two minutes, top and bottom," Piper said, "I know, you tell me every single night."
"What?" He turned to Erin after Piper closed the bathroom door, "Got something on my face?"
"No," Erin smiled softly, "It's just that…you're a dad."
"What?" Heat rose in Jay's cheeks as it dawned on him. He was a dad. In just over two weeks, he'd effortlessly slipped into the single father role so easily that he hadn't even noticed.
"She says please and thank you. Knows how to set and clear the table. Respects bedtime and brushes her teeth," Erin shifted in her seat to face her former partner, "Jay Halstead, you are such a dad." A grin spread across her lips, "It suits you."
He smiled and rubbed his cheek. "Thank you, I guess. I um, care about your sister, a lot." Jay cleared his throat, "And I've been doing a lot of research and um, there's something I wanted to run by you."
Erin raised her eyebrows, "Research?"
Jay nodded. "Yeah. About kids coming out of foster care, kids in general. And uh, a few studies have been done on the benefits of giving the kids an outlet, through um, therapy. I didn't want to overstep or anything but it's really helped me and I thought it might be able to help Piper."
She nodded slowly, "You've been going?"
He cleared his throat, "Yeah um, after you left, uh, things got a bit out of control for me. I mean, I was kind of spiraling while you were still here and I know I fucked a lot of stuff up but yeah, I started going to a veteran's support meetings pretty regularly, and got a therapist and stuff." Jay swallowed, "I um, really wasn't in a good place. But I'm doing a lot better, and I think the therapy stuff really helped. Pulled me out a lot of dark spaces in my head, you know?"
Erin nodded again, just listening to her former partner admit to how hard their separation was. "I know we need to talk about it. Everything that happened, I-I owe you that."
Jay shook his head, "I do want to talk, when you're ready. But you don't owe me anything, Er."
She attempted a small smile. "But for Piper, I mean, you know her the best, and if you think she'd be open to talking to someone and that it would help her, I don't have any objections."
Jay nodded, "I'll see what she thinks but I just wanted to check with you first."
"I really appreciate that," Erin said, "And Jay, I really do want to talk, about everything that happened. Maybe not in front of Piper but-"
"When you're ready," Jay repeated, "I'll be ready."
Over the next week, Jay did his best to integrate Erin into his and Piper's routine. While Piper accompanied Jay to the district, Erin started her temporary desk job with the FBI in Chicago. Hank continued to allow Jay to be flexible while Piper was staying with him, mostly keeping the detective on desk duty while the wider unit pursued the offenders.
There was unfortunately little movement with the case against Evelyn and Tyler Marsh, the offenders having gone deep into hiding after Piper was found abandoned. Voight was getting frustrated, and the entire team was on edge. Evelyn Marsh had tight lips and was in holding, unwilling to give up any details on the whereabouts of her husband.
Jay made sure that he extended an invite to Erin for dinner every night, hoping that with each dinner she and Piper would get to know each other better. It was difficult to get Piper to interact with her sister, as she was so attached to Jay. Every day it got a little bit easier, and Jay found that having the two of them help him prepare dinner was a great way for them to interact.
Erin came over for the fifth night in a row, armed with Camille's marina sauce recipe and a box of pasta. The night before, Jay had teased her about how she hadn't been cooking, and she was ready to prove him wrong. Piper had actually been excited to help with the sauce, and Erin was practically over the moon.
Intelligence had brought Evelyn Marsh back in for questioning, and Voight didn't want Piper anywhere near the district, so he excused Jay early. Jay took that as license to do something fun, and brought Piper on her first trip to the zoo. Watching her in awe of all the animals was a treat in and of itself.
"Jay Halstead," Jay lifted the phone to his ear with a furrowed brow as answered, not recognizing the number.
"Detective Halstead, this is Jenna O'Donnell from the Department of Children and Family Services. How are you?"
"I'm good. Piper's good too," he followed up quickly, "Is everything okay?"
"I'm just calling to let you know that the court has approved Piper's sister for a twice weekly visitation, starting tomorrow."
"That's great," Jay swallowed and glanced into the kitchen where Erin was standing beside Piper, helping her stir the pasta sauce. He could hear Erin asking the little girl about the animals she saw at the zoo, and Piper was returning the conversation. "How um, how will that work? And is there a timeline?"
"These things take time, but hopefully within the next two months, Piper's sister will be awarded full custody, provided there are no hiccups. Usually the way visits work is that a case worker, such as myself, would come by to pick up Piper and bring her to a neutral space, often a space provided by DCFS. Unfortunately, our current location is without air conditioning due to some downed wires, so we'll be recommending Ms. Lindsay identify a location nearby for the two of them to meet."
"Got it," Jay nodded, "So starting tomorrow?"
"That's right. I'll be calling Ms. Lindsay to let her know as well. I will be by your home tomorrow at eleven o'clock, and Piper will be with her sister for about an hour."
"Great. Looking forward to it." Jay cleared his throat and hung up. He couldn't help but smile as Erin carefully instructed Piper on how to stir the sauce. She had one hand keeping the chair steady, the other keeping the pot on the stove so nothing splattered, all while Piper concentrated on stirring. "How's the sauce coming, ladies?"
"It's not burning," Piper said proudly, not breaking her concentration on the bubbling red sauce, "And it hasn't exploded."
"That bodes well," he chuckled. Just as he was about to suggest they get the table set up for dinner, Erin's phone buzzed loudly.
"Shoot," she murmured, "Jay, can you take over?"
"Mm," he nodded, placing a hand on the back of the chair to ensure it was steady, "Pipes, the sauce smells phenomenal."
She nodded in agreement as Erin answered her call. "Erin got the recipe from Sergeant Voight." The little girl continued to stir, "Is everything okay?"
"Yep," Jay said immediately, "Everything is great."
"How come you and Erin both got phone calls?" Piper asked. Jay widened his eyes. Her intuition was remarkable.
"Well, I'm not sure what Erin's was about, but when she gets back, we can talk about it, okay?" Jay offered a smile, "I think that sauce might be ready for the pasta, what do you think?"
Piper nodded slowly and ceased stirring. "Are you gonna add the noodles?"
"Just because the water is hot," Jay said, "I don't want you to get burned or anything, kiddo. Do you want to set the table? I pulled the plates and silverware out already."
She nodded again and wordlessly went about her task as Jay drained the pasta and added it to the sauce. "Still don't trust me with boiling water, hm?" Erin quipped after she hung up the phone.
"I seem to remember a certain someone with a burn mark on their wrist that's still visible," Jay gestured to Erin's left wrist. He lowered his voice, "Everything okay?"
Erin nodded, "Jenna O'Donnell called to tell me too." A smile spread across her lips, "It's good, right?"
"So good," Jay returned the smile, "You want to tell her?"
"Me?" Erin pointed to her chest, "You think I should?"
Jay chuckled softly as he scooped the pasta into a serving dish, "You can do it, Er. It's good news."
"Okay," she exhaled and turned around to find Piper, who was standing by the table and appeared incredibly nervous. "No sauce on the ceiling is a win for us, I'd say."
A small smile appeared on the little girl's cheeks. "Is everything okay?" she repeated, anxiously looking from Jay to Erin.
"Yes," Erin said emphatically, "I got some good news just now, actually." She looked up to Jay, who gave an encouraging nod, "That was Ms. O'Donnell, who called to say that the judge granted visitation to me. That means that you and I are still able to get to know each other. And tomorrow, I was thinking we could do it over ice cream."
Piper looked up at Erin, and then to Jay. "Jay's not gonna be there?"
Jay set the dish on the table, "I'll be right here, waiting for you when you get back. It will be fun for just you and Erin to get to know each other, don't you think? You guys can talk about me."
Erin tried to keep smiling despite Piper's skepticism, "Ms. O'Donnell's going to come by here to pick you up, and then she'll bring you to the ice cream place, where I'll be, which is just one building that way, so we'll be super close to Jay."
Piper managed a small nod, "We should probably get ice cream for Jay too."
A genuine smile spread across Erin's lips, and Jay quietly exhaled in relief. "We absolutely should."
After dinner and a half hour of the White Sox game since the Cubs weren't playing, Piper was fast asleep on the couch, her head almost resting on Jay's shoulder. "She's so cute," Erin whispered over her sister to her former partner.
"She's exhausted," Jay chuckled, "Probably overstimulated her at the zoo."
"I can't believe she'd never been," Erin mused, "But come to think of it, I think the first time I went was with Hank and Justin, before I came to live with them."
"Yeah?" Jay raised his eyebrows. He recognized the situation – it was when Erin was truly relaxed. Only when she felt safe and content did she ever allude to her past life, and Jay knew not to push her. Asking questions or prodding only ever caused her to clam up or shut down, so he learned to simply nod, and allow her to lead.
"I was like just about fourteen at the time," she recalled, "Never been to the zoo. Charlie was out of town or sleeping around, and Bunny was god knows where. Hank had picked me up like two weeks before for the first time and somehow I ran into him when I was trying to lift a couple sodas and a bag of chips for dinner at a convenience store. He was grabbing a coffee or something since he'd pulled an all-nighter, but Camille was working late and he'd promised Justin a trip to the zoo if he did his homework." Erin smiled wistfully, "He paid for the soda and chips and told me I could spend the evening with one of his uniforms or come with him to the zoo. And I picked the zoo, and Justin just had the best time looking at all the animals. I'd never seen any of 'em before and back then it was one of the coolest things."
Jay smiled at Erin's fond memory. "Watching her today reminded me of that," Erin swallowed, "And what Hank did for me, you did for Piper."
"You're both special," Jay replied simply, "Hank knew it when he met you, and I knew it when I met Piper. And you, I guess." He gave a goofy grin and Erin snorted, but quickly clamped her hand over her mouth to not wake her sister.
He cleared his throat, "I'm going to bring her to bed, and then we can talk logistics for tomorrow?"
Erin nodded, instantly remembering why she was back. She was here for Piper, to get custody of her, and the first step was court approved visits. Leave it to her former partner to keep them on task.
She couldn't take her eyes of him as he gently lifted her exhausted little sister into his arms. "Sorry," Piper mumbled, going slack on his shoulder as Jay carried her toward the bedroom.
"Shh," Jay cooed, carefully stroking her hair back, "You're allowed to be sleepy, kiddo, it's been a long day. I'm gonna bring you to bed, okay?"
The little girl nodded, almost drifting off again as he settled her onto the bed and tucked the covers around her carefully. Jay exhaled and turned to exit the bedroom, but Piper's small voice calling his name stopped him in his tracks. "You alright, Pipes?"
"Can you talk for a bit?" she whispered, "About sports or somethin', just so I can fall asleep?" She let out a soft breath, "Your voice…it helps."
"Of course," he replied immediately, feeling his heart ache at the child's simple request. It wasn't lost on him that his voice provided comfort to her, and it simultaneously broke and filled his heart. Jay took a seat on the floor beside Piper's bed and thought for a moment. "Let's see. Tonight I'm going to tell you the story of the 2010 Stanley Cup Championship, when the Blackhawks took home the win for the first time in fifty years."
As Jay launched into the story, Piper succumbed to sleep, lulled into relaxation by the cadence of his voice and the security of his presence. After a few minutes when her breathing had evened out, Jay pushed himself off the floor and placed a careful kiss on the little girl's forehead before returning to the living room.
What he hadn't expected to find was Erin the phone, in an apparent conversation with her boss, whose boisterous tone could be heard through the cell phone pressed against her ear as she stood at the far window, her stance radiating anger and anxiety.
"Now, Ms. Lindsay, you've been given certain courtesies because of the agreement you made with the Bureau regarding your mother, but any other adjustments will need to go through a formal process."
"I'm trying to gain custody of my sister," Erin tried, "I can't be sent to god knows where at a moment's notice and raise a nine year old at the same time."
"You'll need to take it up with the chief of your department," her supervisor replied, "When you took this job to protect your mother, it was our understanding you knew the commitment and travel requirements."
"When I took the job to protect my mother, I didn't realize I had a nine year old sister in foster care that she abandoned," Erin bit back, "I'll call the chief and take it up with him. Thanks." She hung up the phone with a huff and immediately jumped when she caught Jay's gaze. "Shit. You scared me."
"You took the job because of Bunny?" Jay raised his eyebrows in surprise.
Erin glanced at Piper's closed bedroom door and exhaled. "Yeah. There was a deal made."
"You never told me," he managed, taking a seat at the table almost in shock, "You never said anything."
"I didn't know what to say," she replied, raking a hand through her hair, "And now it's all fucked up because my contract has me traveling for whatever's needed, and I don't know if I can get out of it."
Jay set his jaw. "So what do we need to do?"
"We? We're not together, Jay," Erin snapped, "I don't need you to get involved in shitty office politics, especially when we don't even work in the same place anymore."
"Yeah, you made sure of that," Jay responded dryly. He regretted it the second it left his lips.
"What is that supposed to mean?" she hissed, putting her hands on her hips. She didn't want Piper to overhear anything.
"Nothing," Jay attempted to brush it off, "You're right. It's not my place."
"If you want to talk about it now, we can talk about it," she argued. "You clearly have something to say, so you might as well just say it."
Jay gritted his teeth. "But we haven't talked about it, Erin. Not at all. Not in the week you've been back. You were gone a year, without so much as a text or a phone call. I-I was so worried until Voight told me that you left. I'm upset because I thought it was all my fault, that I fucked everything up. But now you're saying this was because of your mom?"
"Don't you think I'm upset too?" Angry tears filled her eyes as she regarded her ex-partner, "I know what we had Jay. And at the end it got bad but you left. And-and I didn't think I was strong enough to stay without you. I wanted you to stay, I wanted to help you, for you to let me in."
"You didn't let me in either," Jay replied, dropping his voice again to avoid waking up Piper, "You didn't tell me why. You never told me about Bunny."
"Because you wouldn't have understood." She folded her arms across her chest, as if trying to protect her heart, "I have tried, my whole life, to protect my mom. She was never there to protect me and I thought if I could do this one last thing, it would be over." Tears trickled down her cheeks before she could stop them. "But the worst part is, you would have been right. You would have told me to stay, that she wasn't worth it, and you're right. She wasn't worth it, not then and especially not now."
"Erin," Jay's eyes softened as he saw the hurt in his former partner's gaze, "I-"
"I just need some space," she choked out, hastening for the door, "I-um, I'll text you tomorrow. I know Piper's coming and I'll be ready and it will be fine." Erin pulled the door open.
"Wait," he called after her, "You don't have to leave."
"I do," she said quickly, "I just need to figure this out and I can do it without you. Just please keep her safe."
Piper was the only one who slept well that night.
Both Jay and Erin, apartments apart, slept fitfully after their first real acknowledgment of their relationship. It was obvious how raw things still were, how much was left unfinished, and how both of them were hurt. They'd done a good job of putting things aside for Piper's sake, but it was becoming increasingly evident that they needed to address the elephant in the room.
The next morning, Jay sat awake in the living room while Piper slept in, hoping that the extra hour or two in bed would ease her anxiety about spending the hour alone with Erin. He didn't love the idea of her being out of his sight, even with his former partner. Jay was not only taking care of her, but was also protecting her, given the main offenders were still in the wind. However, he knew the decision was out of his hands, and ultimately that spending time with Erin alone would be good.
Piper was teeming with anxiety from the moment she woke up. The little girl only managed a few words and a couple bites of breakfast, barely able to meet Jay's gaze. When Jenna O'Donnell arrived to take her on the visit with Erin, it damn near broke his heart to unwind her tiny arms from around his neck. He repeatedly promised that he'd be close by, that she'd be back, and that everything would be okay, but watching the social worker walk away with the child he'd grown so fond of nearly undid him.
Down the street, Erin was not faring much better. She'd barely slept after her spat with Jay, unable to forgive herself for her hostility. She knew she'd hurt him when she left, and how badly he hurt her when he walked out, but neither of them needed the tiny explosion of the night before. They'd both grown in the year she'd been gone, and were both committed to Piper.
The idea of spending an hour alone with her sister filled Erin with anxiety. All she wanted to do was talk to Jay, hear him say that everything would be okay, that he'd be close by, but she couldn't. Not after she'd flat out told him she didn't need him.
And so Erin sat in the ice cream shop, mentally kicking herself for picking ice cream when it was before noon. She'd been the first patron, and sat at the first table, her leg bouncing up and down anxiously as she waited for the social worker to drop off her little sister.
When the doorbell chimed announcing an arrival, Erin snapped to attention. Piper stood rigidly beside the social worker, small arms folded across her chest as she glanced around the empty parlor. "Hi," Erin got up shakily, "Thank you for coming."
Piper looked up at her sister, and Erin swore she could see the nervousness in the little girl's eyes. "I'll be back in about an hour to bring her back to Detective Halstead's," Jenna informed Erin, "You've got my number should anything come up. Have fun, Piper."
The little girl relaxed slightly when the social worker mentioned she'd be returning to Jay's, and relaxed even further when the woman left. "We're gonna get ice cream for Jay too, right?" Piper said finally as Erin shifted awkwardly, unsure of what to do or say. Jay was always good in these situations – easing the tension, breaking the ice, making a joke.
"Absolutely," Erin cleared her throat, "I was thinking, since Ms. O'Donnell is going to meet us back here, that we could wait til after we eat ours to get some for Jay? That way it's cold."
"Good idea," Piper nodded. She gave a small smile, "It's early for ice cream. I just had breakfast."
Erin chuckled, "It is, isn't it? But I would say it's never too early for ice cream."
At that, Piper managed a real smile. "Can I get mint chocolate chip?"
"Coming right up," the cashier said, digging into the cupboard and producing a cup of mint ice cream.
"Mint chocolate chip is my favorite too," Erin beamed, "I'll have what she's having."
Piper accepted the cup from Erin and gave another smile. "Thank you."
"Of course," Erin couldn't seem to stop smiling, "You want to take a walk through the park? It's not too hot today so it could be nice for some fresh air."
The little girl nodded and stood closely to her older sister. Erin's heart swelled as she walked alongside the little girl, doing her best to keep the conversation light, from Piper's favorite foods to the sports teams Jay had been teaching her about. "So, Jay's told you about the Blackhawks too, huh?"
Erin turned to look down at her sister, who was no longer beside her. "Piper?" She spun around, her heart in her throat. Piper was standing two paces behind, appearing incredibly shaky on her feet. "What's wrong?"
"I-I-I just got dizzy for a second," Piper managed, blinking glassy eyes to regard her sister, "Sorry."
"Are you okay?" Erin knelt in front of the little girl whose complexion had turned an ashy grey. The ice cream cup tumbled out of her tiny hand and onto the sidewalk. "Piper!"
Dun dun dun