So glad to see people liked the conversation from last chapter. It's just the beginning - more to come!
"Hey, Pipes," Jay greeted, opening the door widely and offering a smile, "Welcome back."
He wasn't exactly sure what to expect when the little girl arrived back to his home. His mind had gone to all kinds of different places – a tearful reunion, a happy-to-see him hug – but what he hadn't been prepared for was the rigid and silent child in his doorway. Jay glanced over to Jenna O'Donnell, who gave an apologetic smile. "Erin's over for dinner," Jay said brightly, hoping to spark a smile from his little friend, "We're going to order pizza, but for now there's a snack waiting for you on the kitchen table."
Piper nodded wordlessly, still standing in the doorway. "Do you want to come in?" He furrowed his brow, growing increasingly concerned about what happened in the hour she'd been out of his sight.
"I'm going to wash my hands," she whispered, taking a few steps into the apartment. Erin was seated at the kitchen table, scrolling through her email.
"Hey Noodle. You up for a snack before pizza?"
"I'm going to wash my hands," Piper repeated softly and headed into the bathroom, closing the door behind her tightly.
"What happened?" Jay asked the social worker, folding his arms across her chest, "Did she do something to Piper?"
"Piper hardly said anything," Jenna informed him, "At the beginning, she didn't want to stay, but Ms. Fletcher was insistent and based on the judge's ruling, she is entitled to the time with her daughter. I was in the next room the whole time, and when I came to check on her after twenty minutes, Piper was absolute desperate to leave, and Ms. Fletcher didn't fight it. We did end up ending early, but Ms. Fletcher could have said anything to her." She gave another apologetic look, "Visit days are hard on everyone, but especially for the child."
"I've done a good amount of research on visits and stuff," he replied, "But yeah, just now, it was like a different kid."
"Hopefully you can get her to open up. The snack is a good idea. Try to get her back into a routine, as best as you can."
Jay nodded, "Thanks, um, I'll let you know if anything comes up."
He closed the door and exhaled heavily. In the back of his mind, he knew that Bunny could do some serious damage in a hour, but he'd tried not to think about it. But now, with Piper's sullen demeanor and silence, he was sure of it. Bunny had done something.
"Where'd she go?" Jay glanced around the living room and kitchen in search of Piper.
"Bathroom," Erin pointed to the door, "Washing her hands." She paused and mouthed 'Is she okay?'
Jay shook his head and sat down at the table. "I don't know what happened," he said, keeping his voice as low as possible, "But when I saw her just now it…it was like the day I first met her."
Erin managed a small nod, "Bunny. She must have said something, or done something. I swear to God if she touched her I am going to fucking-"
"Er," Jay cut her off, "I know, trust me, I do. But um, we gotta let her tell us." He gave a gentle smile, "She's like you, in that way."
She swallowed and nodded again. "She was washing her hands, but she's been in there a while."
Jay furrowed his brow. "Hey Pipes," he called, getting up from his seat at the table, "You up for a snack?" He frowned when there was no reply, and knocked lightly on the bathroom door. "Piper? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." Piper's small and tearful voice came after a few seconds of silence. Erin sat up straighter as Jay rubbed his cheek, concern for Piper ramping up.
"You don't sound fine, kiddo," he said gently, "Do you want to come out here and talk about it?"
"I don't want to talk," she replied, as much venom in her tiny voice as she could muster, "I'm fine." Her voice cracked, and Jay heard a sniff, like his little friend was crying. His chest ached as he listened to her muffled sobs through the bathroom door.
"Can I come in?" He asked finally, unable to keep the question back. He desperately wanted to lift the child into his embrace and hold her close. When she didn't reply, he put his hand on the doorknob as Erin gave him a nod of encouragement. "I'm going to come in, okay kiddo?"
Jay's heart just about shattered when he pushed open the bathroom door to reveal Piper, sitting against the tub, knees drawn to her chest. Her face was buried in her palms, small shoulders quaking with sobs. "Oh, Pipes," Jay cooed, crouching down to try to meet Piper's gaze, "What happened?"
She curled into herself as Jay came closer, so he remained two feet away, not wanting to frighten her further. "You're worrying me," he said softly, "Did something happen when you were um, away?" He grimaced, not sure of how he should reference her time with Bunny.
"I can't trust anyone," Piper choked out, voice muffled by her knees.
He was quiet for a moment, "You can trust me, Pipes. I promise."
Piper shook her head, "You didn't tell me the truth. You said you weren't gonna lie but you still weren't honest."
Jay swallowed and turned to see if Erin was close by. Sure enough, she was in the bathroom doorway, features twisted in concern. "About what, kiddo?" he asked finally, "What did she say to you?"
Piper lifted her head off her knees and glanced from Jay to Erin, tears still trickling down her cheeks, "That you and Erin used to date," she spat, "That you lived together." The little girl wiped her eyes forcefully, "Is that how come you kept me around?"
Jay shook his head immediately, "I wanted you to stay with me because I wanted to protect you. Because the second I met you, I knew how much I cared about you." He cast a glance over his shoulder at Erin, who had shakily taken a seat on the ground behind him. "It is true that Erin and I used to date, yes. We were partners, and we lived together for a bit."
"Til Erin started doing drugs," Piper supplied, looking directly at her sister, "She told me that you did."
Erin sucked in a breath, unable to find the words to respond. "No," Jay said firmly, "Bunny lied to you, Piper. Erin and I, we had some things we needed to work out between us. We both needed to do things for ourselves, and we've talked it through, and we're okay. We didn't break up because of anything related to what Bunny said, and Erin isn't on drugs, kiddo."
"Why would she lie?" Piper asked, "Why would she say that if it wasn't true?"
Jay was quiet. "I'm not on drugs," Erin said softly, tears in her eyes, "I'm not, I promise you that, Piper. Bunny um, she says a lot of things, to make you scared of me, of Jay, but it's not true."
"She said you got them for her," Piper pressed, "She said it was your fault she messed up, that you buyed them for her."
Jay shook his head again. "Piper-"
"I can answer," Erin interrupted. She took as deep a breath as she could muster. "I'm not sure exactly what Bunny told you today, but I told you that I would be honest." She swallowed, "And when I was growing up, with Bunny, I knew that to make her feel better, she needed drugs. I-I know you've been around drugs and stuff and so you might know, but um, the thing with them is that once you have them, you think need more. And for some types of drugs, like what Bunny was on, you need them to survive." Tears trickled down her cheeks before she could stop them. "I was a bit older than you when I first went out to buy for her, because I knew if I didn't, she'd die. And as bad as she was, I was scared to lose her. To be alone." Erin's voice cracked, "I didn't want to do drugs like her, but when I was just a teenager, I met someone, and he convinced me to try. And I got hooked, til Hank found me, and helped me."
Piper absorbed Erin's anecdote. "H-how come she said you were still on them? That you killed your friend?"
Erin wiped her cheek, not shocked that Bunny had managed to uncover all of her skeletons in the first hour of meeting Piper. "I, um, a few years ago, I had a friend named Nadia. And she got hurt by a really bad man, and for a while, I blamed myself." She shuddered slightly, "I-I'm not proud of it, but I fell back into old habits after I talked to Bunny, because I was just so upset and vulnerable, and she knew that she could get to me when I was like that. And for about a month, I was taking pills and hanging out with the wrong people. Until Jay," she put a hand on Jay's back, "He um, he was there to pull me out. Got me back on my feet. And I've been okay ever since."
Piper was quiet as she looked from Jay to Erin. After a minute, the little girl erupted into tears again. "Pipes," Jay said gently, inching closer, "Talk to us, kiddo."
"I'm sorry," she choked out, "I-I didn't know what to believe, I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault," he shook his head, "Not at all."
"She was on drugs," Piper whimpered, "Today. I-I knew, I could tell."
Jay set his jaw as Erin wiped another tear from her cheek. "I thought she'd at least try," Erin choked out, "I'm so sorry, Piper. You didn't deserve that today. And we should have been more up front about us, but Jay and I, we're okay. And we care about you. We love you."
He held an arm out and Piper scrambled forward, launching herself into Jay's chest with a sob. "Shh," he cooed, holding the other arm out for Erin, who was also in tears, "It's okay."
"I-I don't want to see her again," Piper whispered, "I-I only want to see Erin."
Erin sniffed and stroked Piper's hair as she leaned into her former partner. "I'm so sorry," she said again, "I wanted her to change, to be better for you but-"
"I don't want her to get any more chances," the little girl whimpered, "I'm tired of bein' around bad people, I don't want to do it anymore." She sniffed, "I want to stay with you guys."
Both Jay and Erin were quiet. Unfortunately, the decision was out of their hands, and there wasn't much they could do. "We're going to fight hard to make that happen," Erin said finally, "I um, I'm going to call the lawyer okay? I want to make sure this doesn't happen again."
Jay nodded, indicating that he'd stay with Piper. "You wanna watch the game for a bit Pipes?" He asked, "We ordered some pizza too, so that should be arriving soon if you're hungry."
"'m not hungry," she mumbled against Jay's chest. Erin cast an alarmed look to her former partner.
He let out a soft exhale, "I know it's been a really rough day kiddo, but we do need to get some food in you. Kim said you didn't eat much at lunch, and I don't want you fainting again. It scared us far too much." He gave a small smile, "I'd even say we could do dessert first tonight." Jay was ready to pull out all the stops. Piper needed to eat, and he wasn't about to let her faint on his watch. "What do you say to some ice cream?"
"Before dinner?" Piper looked up at him incredulously, eyes clearer than they'd been before. She looked to Erin as well, who gave an encouraging nod.
"It's been a tough day, and we didn't have any yesterday," Jay reasoned, "What do you say, we let Erin make her phone call and we can dig into one of the cartons in the freezer, hm?"
"We gotta save some for Erin," she told him, making no moves to separate herself from the detective's arms. Jay grinned at Erin, whose shoulders dropped in relief.
"That sounds like a plan," Jay decided, standing up from the bathroom floor, Piper on his hip, "To the freezer!"
"Can I take a shower?" Piper asked softly.
"You don't want to finish your slice of pizza first?" Jay glanced down at the barely eaten piece of pizza on the little girl's plate. He'd managed to get a few bites of ice cream into her, but she was decidedly not hungry.
Erin had been on the phone with her lawyer in Jay's bedroom for almost a half hour. He could hear her voice faintly every few minutes, and knew that she was pacing anxiously. Piper continued to cast nervous glances toward the closed bedroom door, as if anticipating bad news when Erin returned. "I'm not that hungry," she said, pushing her plate away slightly and wrapping her arms around herself.
"Are you feeling okay?" Jay asked, growing increasingly concerned with Piper's lack of appetite. He exhaled softly in relief when Piper shook her head. "Do you want something other than pizza?"
The little girl shook her head again, "Just a shower."
"Okay." He was still concerned. "I'm a bit worried about you, Pipes." Jay tried to meet her gaze, "You're sure you're not hungry?"
"I just wanna wash it away," she whispered, glancing up from her plate to Jay, "The whole day."
Jay felt his blood run cold. "Did she hurt you?" he asked quietly, heart pounding in his chest. If Bunny laid a hand on Piper, he was going to lose it.
"No," Piper assured him quickly, "Just after talking to her I feel…" she trailed off and looked up as Erin emerged from the bedroom and sat down in front of her cold slice of pizza.
"How's the pizza?" Erin asked, forcing a smile, "Smells good."
"They're not gonna take me away, right?" Piper asked, looking from Jay to Erin, "Not today?"
"No, no," Erin said quickly, "You're safe here." She gave a reassuring smile, "I just talked to the lawyer for a bit, and she's going to talk to the judge about what Bunny said to you today. Everything's okay."
Piper looked skeptical but nodded. "I can shower now?"
"Sure," Jay confirmed, "We'll be right out here." After Piper closed the bathroom door, he turned to Erin, "She um, said she wanted to wash off the day."
Erin nodded sadly. "I get that. Sometimes after talking to or even just being around my mom I feel…" she trailed off similarly to how Piper did moments before.
Jay sighed and rubbed his cheek, "You want me to heat up the pizza?" He flashed a grin when Erin didn't reject the assumption. "I know you like it reheated more than fresh or cold."
Erin couldn't help but smile, "You remembered."
"Of course," Jay slid the plate into the microwave, "You've got some weird quirks yourself, Er." He leaned against the counter while the pizza heated up, "Everything okay?"
She nodded, "She's going to talk to the judge or something. Apparently this type of stuff isn't uncommon in custody disputes so it might not change anything, but uh, she said I can try to talk to the social worker next time I have a visit with Piper."
Jay removed the pizza from the microwave, "Wish there was a way to show the judge how traumatized she is after talking to Bunny," he mused, setting the pizza on the table and resuming his spot beside Erin. "She's barely said anything, doesn't want to eat…I'm worried about her."
Erin glanced to the bathroom door where she could hear the shower running. "Me too. I want her to trust me so bad, but with all the stuff Bunny told her I don't know if she ever will."
"Bunny lied," Jay reminded her, "Intentionally."
"Some of it was true though," Erin sighed, "I can't deny my past, and it isn't great on paper. What if the judge thinks I'm not fit or-"
"You are," he interrupted, "You got through all that stuff. You've got a stable job, a career with the FBI."
"Well, for now," Erin scoffed, "I met with my boss's boss downtown today, and he wasn't exactly understanding of the situation. I can stay on this office rotation for the next few months but he wasn't confident they'd allow any type of official transfer." She sighed, "I might need to start looking for another job, and it's not like I'm qualified for much."
Jay shook his head, "You're more than qualified, Erin. Things are going to work out, it just might take some time."
She smiled softly. "You do always know what to say, huh?"
"One of my many special skills," Jay flashed a grin, "You better eat the pizza now, you know it's not good microwaved twice." When Erin raised her eyebrows in surprise, he rolled his eyes, "Please. You thought I'd forget the amount of rubbery twice-microwaved pieces I had to eat because you let them get too cold and I didn't want them to go to waste?"
"You insisted on eating them!" Erin exclaimed, "You know you can't microwave pizza twice."
Jay's eyes twinkled as she lifted the slice to her mouth and took an exaggerated bite, "Happy now?" she asked, mouth full of pepperoni and cheese.
"Yes," he said confidently, "I am."
Piper fell asleep quickly, without even a story, while Jay and Erin cleaned up the kitchen. Erin excused herself to return to her apartment, citing the need to finish up some work she'd neglected to get to given how much had gone on with Bunny. As much as Jay didn't want to admit it, it hurt to see her walk out the apartment door. They were finally getting back into a groove, in a place where they were both comfortable. It was almost like their relationship before they'd ever started dating, or even hooking up, though neither of them could deny the unmatched chemistry between them.
Jay dreamt of their life before. It wasn't easy, as things were never just easy between the two of them, but it was good. He'd missed having Erin in his arms, missed her sleeping beside him – the familiar scent of her shampoo, the absurd amount of pillows that never made it the whole night on the bed, the soft snores that would escape her lips when she was truly relaxed. He wanted it all back, but at the same time, he knew that it wasn't his to have. They'd grown a lot in the year apart, and while physically it felt like they still fit together, Jay was acutely aware of just how much had changed.
He also dreamt of the aftermath. There was so much pain that had rushed back, like a dam had been opened. His dreams were plagued by memories of mistakes on the job, and all those he couldn't save. He remembered guilt and shame of returning from Afghanistan, so many of his fellow soldiers who didn't make it weighing on his mind. He was hot, overwhelmed by the dryness of the desert, the unrelenting sun making everything feel like it was under a microscope.
Jay startled awake, his breathing labored and irregular as he fought to reconcile the desert in his dreams to his apartment in Chicago. His sheets were damp with sweat, a tell-tale sign of a bad flashback. He'd had a better few weeks, with only short bad dreams that he quickly woke up from. He shuddered and glanced to the bedroom door, his mind instantly traveling from his own troubles to the little girl across the apartment.
He shed the clammy sheets and padded across the living room, feeling instantly cooler from the chill of the air conditioning. Jay exhaled. Getting out of bed always helped remind himself that he was home, he was safe, and he was okay.
In the weeks Piper had been with him, he'd taken to checking on her every time he woke up because knowing that she was safely snoozing in bed always made him feel more at peace. Jay carefully pushed open her bedroom door, hoping to see his favorite little friend fast asleep against the pillows.
Anxiety rose in his throat when he caught sight of an empty bed. The sheets were rustled, evidence that Piper had been there, but the little girl was not in her bed. He quickly crossed the living room in search of the child, "Piper?" he whispered, hoping that she'd maybe gone to the bathroom, "Piper?"
"Piper?" Jay called out, his voice louder this time. He pushed open the bathroom door and flipped on the light. The bathroom was cool and empty, and Jay felt like he could vomit. The lingering feeling of hopelessness and dread from his nightmare filled his lungs as he dropped to his knees in Piper's bedroom, hoping to find her hiding under the bed. Jay's chest tightened painfully as he glanced around, praying that his eyes would land on the sleeping form of the little girl. He listened for a moment, hoping to hear her familiar small voice. Panic descended when the only sound he was met with was the hum of the air conditioner, the little girl nowhere to be found.
Eeeek! I'll try not to keep you waiting too long. Let me know what you think!