Beth's Perspective

Me and the other me have been in Sid's bedroom for the past few minutes. There's been a lot of screaming that sounds like it's coming from the living room. I'm a little ashamed of myself, but I've been too distracted by the game to go see what it's about. I'm sure it can wait though, whatever it is.

"So, is Sid your friend too or just Izzy's?" the real Beth asks me.

"Just hers," I answer. "Izzy may be kooky enough to be friends with someone eight years older than her, but the rest of us are not that weird." I liked it better when we were able to say Sid was triple our age. But now that she's 13 and the rest of us are 5, we can't anymore. And I don't think we'll ever be able to again because math works that way, I believe.

"I wonder if my Izzy would get along with the original Sid as well as the ones in this universe do," comments the real Beth.

"You should've brought her with you," I throw in. I then hear another scream, nearly making me lose the game because it pulls my attention away for half a second. I wish I at least recognized the voice.

Ronnie Anne's Perspective

Just chilling in my bedroom with no one else around. On top of that, PAID TIME OFF FROM WORK, BABY! Literally every other school on Earth would be closed this close to Christmas, but Chef, my boss, told me it's still open even on Christmas Day for some reason. The reason I don't have to work there today though is because Gwen and I blew it up and it still hasn't gotten rebuilt yet. That's right. Not only have I gotten no repercussions for the bad thing I did, but I've gotten rewarded for it!

This is the superior life style.

Now my phone's ringing. It says it's a call from Sid's dad, which probably means it's actually Adelaide and she stole his phone. This is far from the first time she's done that. If they would just let her have her own phone, this wouldn't happen.

I've now answered the phone and discovered my deduction regarding who was on the other end was correct. "I'M A BIG SISTER NOW!" my phone speaker blasts out in the form of Adelaide's voice. Either the baby was born or Sid talked their parents into adopting Izzy. It's an understatement to say the first one's more likely.

If you could hear it, you'd agree with me that she's clearly happy about it. That really surprises me. She's been worried that being the middle child might suck and she wanted the baby to be a girl. Maybe seeing the baby brother in person was all it took to change her mind. That's what would happen if I was the one going through it. But, not gonna lie, I think it's more likely that the sonogram was just read wrong and the baby's really a girl.

Let's see.

"So, the baby..." is all I'm able to get out before I realize something. "Hold the freaking phone. How can you be a big sister already? You said the baby's due date is in April."

"Due dates don't mean squat to VAMPIRES!" excitedly shouts my little buddy. "Let me explain. Unlike you weak pathetic humans who need to stay in your mom's tummies for a whopping nine months, vampires, who are the superior species in every single way, only require a minimum of two months."

"Then why do you still stay in the belly for nine?" I ask, hoping it doesn't get Ada mad at me.

"WHO CARES?!" she happily yells. "What we should be focusing on is the fact that Melbourne Dominick Chang is in the world now!" Is that a boy's name or a girl's name? I'd say that the middle name tells me it's a boy, but that doesn't hold as much weight as you'd think. My brother Bobby's middle name is Hannah. "Dominick was gonna be the first name, but..." continues Adelaide before I cut her off.

"Don't tell me anything. I'm gonna come down there and I wanna be surprised." Out of excitement, I hang up on her before she can respond. Oops. I'll try to remember to apologize for that when I get there.

Bobby's Perspective

I just want to say that one thing my sister told you is so not true. "My middle name is not Hannah."

"Then why don't you tell them what your middle name really is?" my cousin Carlota asks with a lot of sarcasm.

After a long pause, I say "I mean, I could. It's just that, well..." If you wanna learn my middle name, you can probably find it out online really easily. There's no need to take my word for it.

Original Sid's Perspective

The doctor who came by for the delivery is in the kitchen, making sure the baby is okay. With the birth being four months early, that's what I'd do too. The doctor was able to get here on time because he came through some big green tubey thing in the floor. There's nothing like that in the real world, but I guess this universe is even more alternate than I thought.

The Y Universe versions of me and Adelaide are eagerly awaiting the doctor's return with their parents. It may be one of the most heartwarming things I've ever seen. I really wish the Y Universe version of Ronnie Anne was here too, both because she'd love to see this and I'm really curious what she's like. I'll bet she's a great person.

"If by 'great person,' you mean 'self-centered witch with no soul,' then you've hit the nail on the head," says a little girl with orange hair and green clothes while running past me and out the front door. How did she know what I was saying to you though? I'm gonna follow her.

Now we're on the front porch and the girl looks really angry. I've also noticed she's got something on her lip, but it's probably nothing. "My name's Izzy. You should know that," she says to me. She then continues talking without so much as taking a pause, giving me no chance to ask her the question I had. "Trust me. You are going to hate Ronnie Anne." There's something I never thought I'd hear someone say. I know this Ronnie Anne isn't going to be exactly like the one I know, but what difference could she possibly have to make me hate her? "Oh, you'll see!" says Izzy.

"Are you reading my mind? Do you have superpowers or some...? Aaahh!" That little yelp I just gave was due to some booming noise pounding against my ears all of a sudden. It's a really strange noise I've never heard before. I wish I could think of something to compare it to you for, but it's just too unique of a sound. "Where's that coming from?" I ask.

"Up there." Izzy answers while pointing towards the sky. "However, I recommend you avoid eye contact." I'm not taking that advice. I've gotta know what's causing that sound.

It looks kinda like a skateboard but without wheels. So, a snowboard, I guess. But it's flying in the air. Why would anyone want a flying skateboard? That would make any trick you could possibly think to do on it much less impressive. I think regular skateboards are better, and not just because Ronnie Anne rides them. Speaking of which, the flying skateboard's close enough now for me to be able to see who's riding it. Her hair looks a little different, but it's obviously this universe's Ronnie Anne.

"This is your last chance to bail out and go home!" Izzy shouts. Man, what is with this kid? I'm sure she means well, but she's confusing me.

Ronnie Anne Y, that's what I'm gonna call her now because it's way shorter than 'this universe's Ronnie Anne,' gets off her flying skateboard with a smile on her face. "You must be Ronnie Anne Santiago. Great to meet you," I say while holding out my hand for a handshake. This is both surreal and awesome. I feel like I'm meeting my BFF all over again!

But, of course, Izzy just has to chime in again. "And this is ruined for you in 3- 2- 1-"

Ronnie Anne Y's happy smile transforms into an angry frown as she walks past me and denies my handshake offer. "Like all other Sids, you suck. Shove your legs into your mouth and roll down a hill into a pile of flaming thumbtacks." Hearing her say that baffles me and sends chills throughout my whole body. She's a little older than the real Ronnie Anne, so her voice is a little different, but it's a similar enough voice for it to still feel wrong to hear her say such mean words to me.

Then she runs for the door and Izzy teleports in front of her, confirming that I was right about her having superpowers. "What'd you say that for?" I ask while getting the funny feeling that Ronnie Anne Y would hate to have to give me the answer.

"Other Sid, this Ronnie Anne is nothing like the one you know. I strongly suggest you go home," Izzy says while fighting with Ronnie Anne Y to try to prevent her from getting into the house. Speaking of that, why does Sid Y live in a house instead of the apartment in Great Lakes City anyway? Who would ever give up living in the same building as their best friend? And now Izzy's clenching her eyes shut for some reason. It's like something's making her feel sorry for somebody.

"Get out of my way this instant, you little rotten urine sack!" Ronnie Anne Y screams at Izzy. I don't like Izzy so far, but to say she's as hard to like as a bag full of pee seems a little overdramatic. "My best friend just called me and said she's become a big sister. I have every right to go in there and celebrate that with her."

Exactly! Why won't Izzy let the poor girl... Wait. Did she say that her best friend became a big sister? Unless she doesn't mean it that literally or she simply misspoke, this means one of three things. Either Sid and Adelaide aren't sisters, Adelaide is older than Sid, or Adelaide is Ronnie Anne Y's best friend. I'm not sure which one would make for the weirdest change.

But I can't ask either of them which one it is because they're both gone. Izzy must've teleported somewhere else and taken Ronnie Anne Y with her. What took her so long to think to do that? Must've needed time to decide which place would be the right one to go to. I really hope Izzy doesn't do anything bad to poor Ronnie Anne Y, but there's sadly nothing I can do about it.

For the time being, I'm just gonna go inside. I'm sure I can get some answers to what's up with this bonkers alternate universe in there. And I came in at the perfect time, it looks like. There's the doctor and he's bringing the baby back.

Currently Unnamed Baby Girl's Perspective

For my entire life, I have been here with this other vampire. We often hear voices talking to us and the ones we hear most of all keep saying they're our mommy, our daddy, and our sisters. We never figured out what those words mean, but they seem important. But no matter what they are, they only ever talk to him, never to me. They'll talk about how they're excited to meet him, how they hate how they had to move because they wanted to live with him, and how they hope he's better than they're expecting. But they never once say a single freaking word about me! It's like they don't even know I'm here!

I'm so gosh darn sick of it!

That's why I kicked him over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again until he was gone. Let's see how the voices feel when their precious dumb boy has vamooseded! Maybe they'll finally see me! There was a lot of screaming for a few minutes, which is a really long time. I'm glad that stoppeds so I can hear what the voices have to say.

"Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Chang. Your son is somehow completely healthy despite being born four months too early," says a voice I've never heard before. "This is an absolute-a miracle!"

"That's where you're wrong, you stupid human!" screams one of my sisters. "You see, we vampires..." Urggh! Enough of this! They're not talking about me! I don't think they're gonna either. What do I have to do to get the voices to stop caring about just the dumb boy? I wantzz love too or whatever!

Melbourne's Perspective

I just got tooked away from the place I've liveded in my whole life. The girl kickeded me a bunch of times, but that doesn't make me wanna not keep livings there. I don't like this new place I'm in AND I CAN'T STOP CRYING! All of the voices have bodies now and one of them is actually two people somehow. I don't like this! It's weird and I understand nothing! Let me go back!

"Congrats on getting your first brother, Sid Y. But there's something else important I should tell you. That mean girl grabbed your best friend and disappeared with her." I have no idea what any of that means.

"The Purple Heart Pain was here?! And she kidnapped Izzy?! Oh my Arceus! I have to go save her!" Why is that voice screaming so much?! Just because I'm screaming doesn't mean you gotta too! Hey! Where ya' goin'?! Don't leave! I'm sorry about what I said!

"Everything she just said made no sense to me. Why does she have that weird nickname for Ronnie Anne? How is Izzy her best friend? And what on Earth is an Arceus?" Stop asking questions! This isn't about you, it's about me. Isn't it?

"If those are your only questions so far, just wait 'til you hear 'bout the differences between your Adelaide and me. I at least assume they're big. I have no way of knowing. I've never watched the show." What does that mean? I thought 'show' was a verb.

Izzy's Perspective

Man, the sections narrated by the babies in this chapter are complete rubbish. I mean, seriously. How could Melbourne possibly know what a verb is? From my experience watching professional Mad Libs, there are plenty of grownups who don't even know what a verb is. If you're gonna write baby characters, you gotta pick a lane. They either don't understand anything, like a baby wouldn't, or they're somehow smart. Not only did Anthony try to do both at the same time, but he gave them no reason to be able to talk. Even if they're just speaking in baby talk and it's translated for all of you, they shouldn't be able to do that either. I don't know when babies start trying to talk, but it's obviously not right after or before they're born.

If I were normal, I'd probably tell the Changs that it's twins, but the fact they don't know is a golden opportunity I'm not gonna pass up. Just think about it. This April, the girl's gonna come out on her own and no one will see it coming 'cause they all think Mrs. Chang's not pregnant anymore. Name a better April Fool's Day joke. I'll wait.

Also, I beat Ronnie Anne to a pulp. Just thought you should know.

Ronnie Anne's Perspective

She's lying! I whooped her little psychic butt all the way to Uranus! That's not even an exaggeration. She's actually on the planet Uranus right now. Just grab a telescope and see for yourself.

Izzy's Perspective

I am still on Earth.

Ronnie Anne's Perspective

SHE IS NOT!

TO BE CONCLUDED

I'm gonna watch the new TDR episode I mentioned in the summary and use that as the basis for how I decide this ends.

You may have noticed in the first chapter that Original Sid seemed to know about how Ronnie Anne Y hates Sid Y but she clearly doesn't in this one. That is not a continuity error. I've got an explanation planned for it that will show up in the third and final chapter (unless I forget to include it, which honestly wouldn't surprise me).