CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED FIFTY SEVEN
It felt strange to do his Free Program in such a public setting, surrounded by so many people, but he didn't really have much of a choice. Viktor had quickly found a way to access the arena's speaker system, and one of the attendants had been all too happy to hook up Yuri's phone to it and play the music.
To Yuri's own surprise, he managed to get through the whole thing without any problems, though his right thigh did throb by the end of it. By the time he'd fallen into his final pose, and the music faded out, he had lowered one hand to rub at the huge bruise. Recalling the dark purple blotch on his skin from the shower beforehand, he shuddered at the memory of the impact that had caused it. It was sore enough that he had a hard time focusing on the storm of applause that had risen since he'd finished skating.
Viktor was clapping as he came out from where the crowd had been pressed up against the rink wall, but lifted his head as the next song on Yuri's playlist began. The Worlds EX Opening Ceremony music.
['Sunburst' - NCS Release]
The entire crowd seemed to get energized to hear it, and everyone started to pour back onto the ice, skating around the edges of the rink to surround the pair.
Yuri was still catching his breath at the time, seeing all the excited faces passing him by, clapping for him and looking thrilled about the whole thing. His cheeks were flushed as he watched them all go, but finally turned back to where Viktor was still clapping and getting closer.
"How do you feel?" The Russian wondered.
"Equal parts tired and amazed." He answered, pushing off with his toe-pick to get nearer to his husband, pulling his hand off his hip and wrapping both arms around Viktor's waist. He set his forehead against the man's shoulder, "You're always surprising me."
"I think you surprised everyone here even more." Viktor suggested, leaning his head down to better see past Yuri's dark, spiky bangs, "Considering that you premiered this program when you were sick and upset, these people must've thought they were watching a whole new show, just set to the same music."
"You think so? It was that different?" He looked up, finally allowing himself to feel a little pride in himself again.
"Mh! For sure!" Viktor agreed emphatically, turning side-face to join the crowd in their laps around the rink, keeping one arm around his partner as they moved, "Do you see though?" He asked, gesturing with his free hand to all the people that were still clapping as they slid by, some slowing down to stay close, as though being in such close proximity to two World Champions would somehow imbue them with skating talent through osmosis, "There wasn't one nay-sayer in the entire crowd. Every single person who hollered for you was cheering for you to keep going. I know you haven't often wanted to worry about what fans thought, but I think it's important that you see how much they all love and support you, even when you hit a low point."
Yuri thought on it, sliding from one golden blade to the other, leaning slightly as they hit the short end of the rink, "You know..." He started, slipping further out to take the man's hand between them, "Duetto is next on my playlist."
"Is it?"
"Are you up for it?"
"Well..." The Russian was a bit skeptical, "I'm trying not to complain, but my head is pounding..."
"Oh..." Yuri made a disappointed face, but then shook it out, "That's okay. It would probably be hard to get everyone to clear the ice again anyway."
"Sorry."
"No, it's fine...it's kind of nice to just get to skate like everyone else for once." He said, finding the silver lining to it all, "We can skate it anytime we want. We should do it for an Exhibition again one day."
"Maybe..."
They made another circuit around the rink before the weird shift in the Russian's mood had made Yuri wonder if something else was going on. Did he remember something about last night...? Should I ask...?
"It's hard to believe I'm turning 29 next month. Next year, I'll be 30." Viktor finally said anyway, "It feels like I'm leaving this life and stepping into another one."
Yuri gave his hand a gentle squeeze, "It's just a number."
It didn't seem to offer any consolation, as Viktor was still looking down at the ice, rather than where he was going.
"Turning 30 will only change you if you let it." Yuri said instead, shifting his weight to turn around, and skating backwards in front of his husband instead, reaching over to grasp at his other hand to hold them both, "We play an unforgiving sport, and we're competitive for less time than most other kinds of athletes. If anything is unfair, it's figure skating..." He explained quietly, doing his best to round the corner of the rink without having to take his eyes off the man ahead of him, "...That, and maybe American football, mixed martial arts cage fighting, and race-car driving."
"...All those left turns. It's horrible." The Russian mused, smiling a little.
Yuri laughed at that, looking up as Sunburst ended and the quiet piano of Duetto slowly started, though it seemed most other skaters were having a hard time realizing it was playing at first, "I was thinking more along the lines of all the crashes, but yes, the left turns are quite brutal as well."
Sento una voce che piange lontano
People were starting to hear the lyrics, and many of them started cheering and clapping, craning their heads around to see if another show was about to start.
Anche tu, sei stato forse abbandonato?
The younger of the two professional skaters just slowed to a stop in the middle of the rink's long side, setting a toe-pick into the ice before raising his arms up over the taller man's shoulders. The flock of other skaters were moving past them on both sides, moving to avoid them in wide lazy arcs.
Orsù finisca presto questo calice di vino
"You told me a long time ago that we'd grow old together." Yuri said, pressing his forehead to his husband's, "And while it's sad that we can't actually skate forever, we can always skate in our dreams, and we'll always be there for each other no matter what."
e inizio a prepararmi
Adesso fa' silenzio
"From this life, and into the next..." Viktor added quietly, tilting his face slightly to kiss the man in front of him.
Stammi vicino, non te ne andare...
.
.
.
"Welcome back everyone for the start of Cup of China's Men's Singles Free Skate." Newscaster Morooka spoke excitedly, "All of this afternoon's participants are currently on the ice for the last warm-up period...soon, only one will remain to kick things off. Our first skater tonight will be the last skater from yesterday's Short Program; Italy's Michele Crispino."
Yuri had always hated going up first, so it was a mercy that he was second to last for the Free Skate. Not only would he immediately know what his chances were, but he also had more time to stretch and get his thoughts together before going out onto the ice. His blades scratched at the ice like they had at the Benz Arena...but unlike there, the cheering and applause was coming from thousands of people in the stands, rather than just one or two hundred surrounding the rink.
He had his team jacket on still as he made his loops around the rink, lazily jumping through a few triples to get used to the venue again, and feeling a little better with each one he managed to land.
Don't psyche yourself out before you even have a chance to start, stupid.
"All skaters, please make your way to rink-side. Repeat, all skaters, please make your way to rink-side." The announcer overhead boomed.
Yuri lifted his head to hear it, and slowly swiveled around to get back to the exit.
Viktor was there waiting with his blade-guards, handing each one off, "Getting anxious at all?"
"I feel decent."
"First on the ice tonight, representing Italy...Michele Crispino." A female announcer called into the arena.
Italian flags and other fan-banners were already being raised by then, and the olive-skinned skater strode out into the arena on his own, raising his hands to present himself to the audience and judges. Yuri watched him go quietly, reaching his hands up to put his ear-buds in, playing his own music to drown out the rest as he usually did. He took his partner's elbow and headed past the curtain, leaving the rink-side area behind so as not to be a bother to those who actually needed to be there.
"Oh! Yuri!"
He could barely hear the voice saying his name, but he looked up anyway, seeing the female half of the Crispino Twins there to the left as they came through the curtain, "Hey Sara..." He reached up to pull one ear-bud out, hearing Michele's music starting to play despite his best efforts not to listen.
['Sleepsong' by Secret Garden]
The purple-eyed Italian came right up in her usual happy cantor, pausing just in front of him and leaning in with her hands clasped loosely behind her back. He leaned to the side slightly to wave at the Russian, "Hii~ Viktor." He waved politely, and she turned back to the Japanese skater in front of her, "You feeling better today? You sure look like it."
"Mh." Yuri nodded.
"Mickey thinks he's going to be able to beat you today, but I warned him not to get ahead of himself." She regaled, "You're far too well known for your sudden comebacks to be stopped by yesterday's Short Program. Besides, I saw you skating at the Benz Arena...and you were in top form! I'm really excited to see you skate officially!"
"You were at the Benz Arena...?" Yuri echoed.
"Oh, no, not in person...a bunch of people posted video of it to Instagram though! A few people seemed to have recognized who you were, and started recording before Viktor outed you." She said with a sweet grin, "Though I'm glad he did. You looked really relaxed."
"I'm trying to forget what happened yesterday." Yuri admitted sheepishly, "I'm going to give my Free Program everything I have."
"That's good to hear. I'd hate to see Viktor screaming off a rooftop again."
Yuri went pale as all the blood left his face, eyes wide.
"What'd I do?" Viktor blinked; he wasn't sure he heard correctly.
Sara had her mouth open like she was about to question why he didn't know, but Yuri was on her in a second, hand over her mouth and pushing her backwards through the curtain. Once she was out at rink-side, he backpedaled and started pushing the Russian away in the opposite direction, almost fleeing for how fast he was moving. Sara stuck her head back through the curtain curiously, "What was that all about?" She wondered, seeing them vanish into a different hall.
Yuri only let go once they were out of sight, though when he turned around, Viktor was already on his phone and had Instagram loaded up.
"Ahh! Noooo! What are you doing!? Don't get online!" The younger figure protested pitifully.
"I want to know what she's talking about. If I was acting out then someone had to have gotten it on film, even if they had no idea who I am." The Russian said simply, scrolling through his feed, seeing nothing out of the ordinary as yet. He paused, turning blue eyes away from the phone and glancing at the other skater instead, "Or you could tell me."
Yuri squeaked in a panic, turning side-face away from the man, "M-me!? Tell you!? I already said I was only there at the end!"
"What did you see? What do you know, Yuri?" Viktor asked, stepping closer even as the younger figure was backing away from him, "Tell me." He seemed too eager to find out, as though it was some joke at his expense.
"I-I don't know all of it!"
"Tell me what you saw."
"Why!?" Yuri asked warily, "Why would you want to know something so sad!?"
"...Sad?"
"Y-..." The raven-haired skater paused, trying to quell the nervous feeling rising inside him, "You were really upset about my Short Program and started blaming yourself for it. Minako-sensei said you got completely thrashed. She called me to come get you because you were yelling from the top of the Ritz-Carlton about how you thought I'd leave you for Yurio and fire you as my coach!"
Blue eyes blinked at him, "...Wow, really? That's a bit more eccentric than I thought I'd get, but not entirely unexpected."
"...Y-you're not...acting...surprised...?"
"When did I start getting naked?" The Russian wondered comically, "What else did I say?"
"I don't... I mean..." The younger man was stammering for lack of knowing what to say, "Minako-sensei told me you were starting to take your clothes off when she had me on the phone, but that you didn't believe it was me on the other end telling you to stop... By the time I got there, you were already naked and you were standing on the wrong side of the railing..."
"Wow~!"
Yuri was gawking at him, no idea how to handle his reaction. He hadn't planned for Viktor to think it was funny.
"I guess I was really upset that I didn't get to follow-through on my plans yesterday like I wanted!" The coach-skater explained, "How hilarious!"
"Idon'treallythinkthisisfunnyViktor." Yuri said stiffly.
"Sure it is!"
"HOW."
The Russian just stepped forward again, this time not letting Yuri get away, sliding both hands over the skater's sides and holding to his back, looking down into confused hazel eyes, "When you told me to help make you feel better afterwards, didn't you wonder where I got the lube from?"
The directness of the question made the skater's face go red immediately, "N-No..."
"It was in my jacket."
"...Okay..?"
"I promised you once that I'd take you in the middle of a competition, didn't I?"
"...Y...You did..." Yuri started to feel his legs getting a little weak, but the silver Russian held him close, "What's...your point?"
"I was going to sneak you off somewhere after your SP if you scored over 110. I was so convinced you were going to pull it off that I was ready for it."
Hearing the words just made Yuri's heart sink, "...I'm...I'm sorry, I messed up..."
"I should've taken you anyway, I guess." Viktor lamented, "Maybe I should take you now?"
"Eh!? No way! I'm gonna go up in like 15 minutes!"
"You sure? I can make it quick..." The Russian leaned in uncomfortably close, forcing Yuri to push his face back with both hands, "Yuuuuri~! I want to!" He whined, still holding on despite his husband's reluctance.
"Later!" Yuri insisted, finally slipping free and taking off.
Viktor quickly gave chase, arms out to reach for him, "Come back!"
It was hard to sprint with skates and blade-guards on, but the young athlete made the best of it. There was an awkward sort of hilarity in the way his husband was chasing after him; it reminded him of the happy-drunken affect the Russian had had at the hot-pot restaurant the previous year.
"Stop running, Yuri, I love you!" The silver-haired coach laughed, amazed at how quickly Yuri had managed to get away despite his foot-wear, "I want to kiss your cute kissable face before you skate!"
"You'll have to catch me first!"
Half the other skaters and their associated coaches saw them rushing by, and everyone was blinking in thorough confusion at the sight of the pair. Otabek and Yurio were amongst them, gawking awkwardly as Yuri finally got ahead and out of sight, slipping into a different hall that lead to the other side of the arena.
"You're violating the coach-athlete relationship, Viktor! It sets a bad example!" Yurio barked at him, "You're really terrible at this!"
Blue eyes blinked back at him, "Oh, hey. Didn't see you there."
Otabek was silent as stone, but quirked a brow as he glanced from the shorter Russian back to the taller one.
"I have to do whatever it takes to make sure Yuri doesn't get anxious again." Viktor insisted, "That's my sacred duty." He had a hand on his chest, "I just happen to have more tools at my disposal than a conventional coach."
The young teen had the urge to make a reference to the tool being alluded to, but Otabek was quick to notice and head-locked him instantly, dragging him off before he could say anything.
Viktor just waved at them and laughed, "Davai, Otabek~! You're up next, I think!"
If the Kazakh had made any sort of reply, it was impossible to hear over the blonde's flailing and demands to be let go. Once they were out of sight though, Viktor's expression changed, going from his usual happy-aloof self to something a bit more serious. He moved quietly over towards a row of folding chairs that had been set up along the wall, and pulled out his phone again. It only took a few more scrolls to find the first of several videos that had been posted about his drunken lamentations. He plugged in his ear-bud cables and played it, jumping into the middle of what was already taking place before the filming started...and wasn't really all that surprised by the things he heard himself yelling.
"...-AT ALL AND HE'LL LOSE HIS SPOT IN THE FINAL AND IT'LL ALL BE MY FAULT-"
"H-How would it be your fault?"
"Uncle Mimi said it was because I'm Yuri's husband too! Yuri doesn't listen to me like he would if I was just his coach! WHAT IF THE ONLY WAY HE'LL DO BETTER IS IF HE DIVORCES ME?"
"Are you kidding...?"
"WHAT IF HE DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE?"
Viktor put a finger over his mouth as the video went on, though some parts were a bit more difficult to hear than others. It was easy to find another video, one that had better audio, and he scrolled through the timeline to find his place. He ended up skipping so far ahead that Yuri was already on camera when it started playing again after the buffer caught up.
"If you want to fire me, just tell me...I'll understand..." He heard himself say, naked now and on the other side of the glass banister.
"I'm not going to fire you!" Yuri was insisting from the proper side, though keeping a short distance, "I don't want anyone else as my coach! Why do you think otherwise, after everything we've been through!?"
"What good am I as a coach if I'm the reason you fell apart on the ice? This is all my fault!"
"I had a panic attack! You couldn't have done anything! NO ONE could have!"
Blue eyes weren't blinking, watching the scene unfold on his phone...and hazily in his own mind. He saw flashes of his own perspective from the night before, and the memory of the pain he felt was bubbling back into his heart as well. He lowered his hand from his mouth to his neck, pressing his palm against it where he could feel it starting to clench up.
"If I hadn't agreed to come back to competition, no one would've said the things they had about us both winning Gold going into the Final!"
Viktor lifted his head and ignored the video for a moment, looking around in case Yuri was about to pop up again while he'd been distracted. He was nowhere to be seen though; the only people passing by were ISU officials, event staff, and a handful of skaters from earlier or later events. A few of them saw him as they went by, waving politely, but curious why he was alone, even if they didn't openly ask it.
"I'm a complete failure as a coach and a husband..." The video went on, catching his attention again. Slate eyes lowered to look at the screen where the recording had suddenly zoomed in on him rather closely. Yuri had managed to get close by then and was clinging to his back, holding him against the railing like he thought he was the only thing preventing a jump.
"There's no one else I'd rather be married to!" Yuri yelled desperately, "I'd sooner go the rest of my life alone than be without you! I could search the whole world and I'd NEVER find someone better than you!"
Those words caught the Russian by surprise as much in the present moment as they likely had in that moment, but what really shocked him was when he saw Yuri pull away and get onto the same side of the railing he'd been on.
If I didn't know already that he was fine, I'd be having a heart attack right now... Viktor thought, watching as Minako was trying to convince the younger skater to stay on the safer side of the railing, but failed to move him. His eyes went wide as he saw Yuri handing his glasses off to Yurio, and then started taking off all of his own clothes. Neither of them were easy to see on the hazy, shaky camera-phone video, but it was obvious enough what was going on.
"Viktor..." Yuri was saying again, inching closer on the railing's meager ledge, "You're the best coach I've ever had, and the single most important person in my entire life. I can't understand why you think anything that happened today is your fault... You did everything right..."
"I didn't fight to stop people from egging you on. The first interview we had, I should've said something to calm the media storm. But I didn't because I'm a damn idiot."
...I am an idiot...
"You were excited!" Yuri argued, "I was too at the start! I had no idea I'd freak out about it later!"
"I should've known... I crushed you myself once, so I should've known... I could've protected you this time...and instead, all I did was push you..."
Viktor closed out of the video after that, pulling the ear-buds out and stashing the whole tech-pile into his pocket.
I don't care how it ends. I have to find him.