Author's Note:

Thanks for all the enthusiasm for this one!

Shoutouts to:

Kristin_Aubrie, for always commenting right away with such nice things - you rock!

Outlawqueenpercabeth, for saying 'I love this'

Naylorholby, for 'not knowing they needed this until now' and all the exclamation points.

Everyone who kudosed/liked/starred this so far!

Ao3: Seattle Rain 879, Kristin_Aubrie, 1 guest.

Fanfiction: No one, yet…

Wattpad: danielaperezsurga, Outlawqueenpercabeth, Naylorholby who starred it and YeseniaChavez3 who added it to their reading list.

bobbiejelly

McCravings

McDreamy, McSteamy, McMeredith, and McHot all walk into a McDonalds. Hilarity ensues.

OR:

In Which Meredith and Derek are double-dating with Addison and Mark, and all of them are craving some good old-fashioned McDonalds.

How this turns into a gay/lesbian exchanging thing, nobody knows, remembers, or cares at all; it is just all in the name of their intense McCravings all the same.

F/F. M/M. F/M (past and implied.) Addison/Meredith. Derek/Mark. MerAdd/Meddison. Also MerDer, Maddison. Rated E for Explicit. Grey's Anatomy/Private Practice FF.

Chapter 2: Shut Up And Drive!

A really hot and sticky mess of a car ride, for Meredith, Addison, Derek, and Mark, on the way to McDonald's...

"Hey, keep your hands off my girl, now, Mark," Derek calls out teasingly to his best friend Mark Sloan, who is sitting in the back seat with Meredith Grey, currently.

This is because Mark offered for Addison Montgomery to sit in the front seat because she's so tall, and Mark felt put-out at the implication that Meredith felt that Addison is 'more chivalrous' than he is.

And Meredith should be happy about this, but she sort of frowns at the 'my' in Derek's sentence, because she doesn't like to feel like he 'owns' her or something.

But she shrugs it off, and lifts Mark's hand off of her hip with a smirk to everyone and also no one at all in particular.

So now Derek and Addison are in currently front of the car, and Mark and Meredith are currently resigned to the back seat, and Mark goes to make an old inside joke between him and Meredith about the two of them being fittingly in the backseat while Addison and Derek are in the front seat together-

This being that the very pillars of their 'dirty mistresses club' together (Meredith and Mark that is), once upon a time.

And then Addison just laughs and says that apparently, the 'dirty mistresses ended up winning it all', because, in the end, Derek had chosen Meredith and Addison had chosen Mark.

And through all of this Meredith kept feeling warm and sweaty, and she hates just being sticky through her clothes like that, so she asks Derek and Addison to just "turn on the goddamned air conditioning, or I'm putting all the windows down".

And Addison does this immediately because she knows that Derek hates driving with the windows down and that Meredith will whine until she gets her way with this.

"You know, I get it, why you cheated on your husband with him, Mark kinda does seem to have actual steam radiating him off of him right now…" Meredith points to Mark Sloan's exposed part of his chest through his tank top, and he smirks his signature McSteamy looks right back at him.

Meredith sorta said that to make her current boyfriend Derek go all crazy, but the effect is amplified when Addison also gets extremely jealous. And not of the person one might expect her to be jealous of, seeing as she's non-adulterously actually seeing Mark Sloan, now.

And the look in her eye directed directly at her makes Meredith at least ten-times stickier than she was even before because Meredith realizes she's making her jealous as well as just Derek when she flirts with Mark Sloan.

Addison realizes this herself when she quirks at the thought that she's much more upset that Meredith is complimenting Mark, than the fact she just brought up that Addie was once an 'adulterous whore'.

Meredith had always thought the teasing between her and Addison was sort of downplayed and just innocent. She never thought that this leggy and fabulous redhead would actually maybe want her like that.

But now she can't get that thought out of her head, and she can't stop wanting to make Addison jealous. So Meredith leans over to Mark and says "you know once upon a time I said I was immune to your McSteamy look, but now… I'm starting to wonder if my immunity will ever wear off…" in a sort of seductive tone.

And Mark shamelessly licks his lips in reaction to his best friend's girlfriend hitting on him in the backseat of Derek's car.

Because he's Mark so he's sort of a walking man-dildo and he just takes it wherever it comes.

"MARK DON'T YOU DARE DO MY GIRLFRIEND WHILE I'M DRIVING YOU TO GET YOUR McBURGER, YOU HEAR ME!" Derek exclaims from the driver's seat, smiling at Meredith from the mirror.

And normally this declaration of territory would make Meredith swoon from that and his McDreamy eyes.

But then Addison looks at Mark and glares at him like she's never ever seen her do so strong before, and Meredith nearly whimpers at how McHot Addison Forbes Montgomery really and truly is.

Meredith supposes she's always been this McHot and she's just been too focused on boys to ever notice this fact.

But now Addison's in a short sundress and she's in a short skirt and she's jealous of her ex-dirty-mister and current boyfriend over her …

Well, Meredith can't stop herself thinking about her best friend in that way, now. And she doesn't even really feel all that guilty for it because Addison had once said a snide comment to her and Derek about them looking all cozy, and maybe even 'joining in with them unless they are not into threesomes…'.

And that was next to an elevator, at the time, because everything happens in elevators in Seattle, it seems.

And if Mark had lived here at that time he probably would have been included somewhere in that joke, as well.

And so despite her current boyfriend Derek being there and Addison having Mark as a current boyfriend, Meredith keeps doing literally everything she can to keep seeing that jealous sexy McHot look that Addison flares with when she hits on her boyfriend.

"Mark, you gonna flex your muscles for me?" Meredith says to him 'sweetly' as Mark starts making a first and pumping it up in the air.

And this time Addison yells at them both and says to "CALM THE FUCK DOWN EVERYONE AND MARK JUST LEAVE MEREDITH ALONE, SHE DOESN'T NEED YOU BEING ALL CREEPY AND STRANGE!"

And Meredith smirks at her in acquiescence, to show her just how much she was getting exactly all that she'd bargained for when Addison defended her again, and to him, no less...

"Thank you, Addie," Derek says to his ex-wife also sweetly, using an old nickname she hates from him, usually, now, and somehow getting away with it, this time.

Because he thinks (because he's driving, so he can't see all the lust-filled looks being exchanged between his ex-wife and now-girlfriend right now) that Addison is defending his girlfriend for him.

And Addison lets him think that, while also letting Meredith know that she's lying, when she turns back around to Meredith and winks at her while simultaneously saying 'oh, no problem, dear, Derek,".

And then Mark's jealous instinct kicks in because he's always been a bit insecure that when Addison finally picked him over her ex-husband, that she was just settling for second place when she used to have her McDreamy.

And then Mark's reaction is to play at the game the girls seem to have to go on and to start hitting on Derek, hoping to get a jealous rise of both Addison and Meredith.

"Derek, my man, are you going to call me an old nickname and thank me, for being a 'good boy' and keeping my hands to myself?"

And Derek sort of swoons at that reaction from Mark, because he's never told anyone, but he's always sort of wanting to kiss a boy, and he's always sort-of wanted it to be his best friend, and when Addison had said one time that Mark liked to be called a 'good boy' in the bedroom, it sort of gave him all sorts of ideas…

"Yes, Markie, you're being a good good good boy for me" Derek coos at his best friend.

Derek used to call him "Markie" growing up, and they haven't said that in years, but Derek realizes it's sort of fitting from when his two favorite people in the entire world were his 'Markie' and 'Addie'. That was well before Meredith, though, and he's not so sure how to make that name rhyme along with the others.

And Mark starts grinning from all the praise he's getting, and winks up at Derek, because unlike Derek, usually, Mark had been with other men before, and he isn't ashamed at the least bit.

And Addison groans out loud at the 'good boy talk' and regrets ever sharing that little fact with her ex-husband while drunk.

And Addison rolls her eyes motioning to the boys while looking at Meredith, who giggles alongside her, and the blonde girl's eyes crinkle and sparkle at only her.

And that makes Addison feel more than okay that her boyfriend is hitting on his male best friend who is also her best friend Meredith's current boyfriend.

And to be honest, seeing as their all something vaguely non-heteronormative and non-heterosexual and still a bit sort-of-heterosexual, both girls are kinda actually enjoying the thought that their mutual and respective boyfriends would have the hots for each other.

They did both (Addison and Meredith), have exceptional taste, after all…

And Meredith says this as such, again, to make Addison go a bit jealous while simultaneously complimenting her at the same time:

"You do have good taste you know, in finally picking McSteamy," with a bit of a glint in her eye, to let Addison know she's focusing more on the 'you do have good taste' part, rather than the ' McSteamy' part.

"Well I can say the same about your good taste, hell I mean you are seeing my ex-husband, our one and only mutual McDreamy, are you not?" Addison says all sarcastically, but also making sure to focus on the 'your ' part of the sentence, and not the McDreamy' part, and directed only at Meredith.

Ages ago they would never have been able to joke with each other like this.

What seems like an eternity ago to them now, Addison might have said something like "are you sleeping with my husband again, because it seems like you two were having a lover's quarrel!"

And Meredith might have said something like "I can't believe he's McMarried and he has a super McHot, McWife!"

But all that is still 'ancient history' to them all now, as they drive off into the scorching heat of a sweltering summertime.

The sexual tension is palpable off every single one of the four of them riding along in that car. That part is a given.

But who it's directed at, for whose benefit, for whom, well that's the only thing that's so far a little less than really clear-cut...

So they focus on the anticipation of the clear-cut of the fries they'll order and the burgers that they'll have to definitely have.

And Meredith makes a comment about being "really hungry all of a sudden for a 'cheeseburger', and she's not fooling anyone about what her actual 'appetite' is about.

And Addison says she wants a triple-soft-serve ice-cream cone to go along with her McFlurry, and Meredith audibly moans at the thought of Addison Montgomery's tongue lapping at the cheap custard dessert, stroke by stroke by stroke…

And Mark says something about slurping a soda, and asking predictably about 'buns'.

And Derek can't decide on an order, because he can never really decide on his tastes for like, more than two seconds at any given time.

And he keeps babbling on about his inner monologue about "habanero wrap with the bacon or without it…"

Until Addison finally snaps at him and tells him to "SHUT UP AND DRIVE! GODDAMNIT, DEREK!"

And so in reaction to that one, Meredith pulls up the menu for him on his phone, and she starts to read out every single item but in a sexy voice, that's two octaves lower than she normally talks, because she's all hot and bothered by the cacophonic sound of Addison swearing at him.

And then Addison can't handle her winning, so she reaches back and grabs Meredith's phone and starts countering with her own interpretation. And her voice is even lower and more of a growl than Meredith's.

And Mark purrs like he's been invited to an exclusive live porno.

And Derek just keeps smiling his white-tooth smile at everyone, oblivious, as always. To pretty much everything that just happened and everything that was about to happen between his girlfriend and his ex-wife.

And while Addison keeps turning and turning around in the car, Meredith and Addison both know it before Mark ever does, that they're only really doing this all so they can seduce each other.

And neither of the two girls is doing the least in their power, to stop it.

It was a really hot and sticky mess of a car ride, for Meredith, Addison, Derek, and Mark, while on the way to McDonald's, to say the very least, and at best.

***** END OF CHAPTER TWO

Author's Note 2:

Yes, if you were wondering, the next chapter will probably actually take place at McDonald's, unless I get an exorbitant amount of reviews asking for something else, entirely.

Thanks again for all the feedback so soon!

Hope you're loving this, as much as all of THEM seem to be living this.

This story is in dichotomy to the more serious, project works of mine:

Falling Apart, Barely Breathing

and Soothe

This is a light crackfic to enjoy.

If you liked this and you have not read A Seattle Grace Mercy West Swingers Party - Post Plane Crash Edition

You'll probably like that one because it's a similar crackfic that features MerAdd and Mark/Derek, and of course, lots of sex scenes and banter.

(Yeah I do plan on updating that one eventually, it's just a LOT of work for a chapter so it might be a few days yet.. Sorry!)

Happy MerAdd reading everyone!

Let me know if you want more.

bobbiejelly