Author's Note:

This Chapter is Sexually Explicit, for both really rough language, and well, actually, I don't want to actually spoiler the rest in the author's notes...

Firstly, for nayloholby on Wattpad, who practically asked me so nicely to write this for you all, yesterday.

Also, for Ao3: seattlerain879 and Kristin_Aubrie as well as 4 guests left kudos on this work! Plus the 140 hits and the comment from Kristin_Aubrie.

Fanfiction: FireworkScrubCap for the lovely review, favorites from FireworkScrubCap, Thur98cFOX, seriouslymcdreamy26, follows from FireworkScrubCap, seriouslymcdreamy26, and 145 views!

Wattpad: naylorholby, outlawqueenpercabeth, AddisonAddek, Reneshli, who each commented TWICE! And for the 8 people who starred this work, you know who you are, and to the 83 complete readings of this one, there, so far!

bobbiejelly

McCravings

McDreamy, McSteamy, McMeredith, and McHot all walk into a McDonalds. Hilarity ensues.

OR:

In Which Meredith and Derek are double-dating with Addison and Mark, and all of them are craving some good old-fashioned McDonalds.

How this turns into a gay/lesbian exchanging thing, nobody knows, remembers, or cares at all; it is just all in the name of their intense McCravings all the same.

F/F. M/M. F/M (past and implied.) Addison/Meredith. Derek/Mark. MerAdd/Meddison. Also MerDer, Maddison. Rated E for Explicit. Grey's Anatomy/Private Practice FF.

Chapter 3: McWhatTheFuck?

Because "McSteamy, McDreamy, McMeredith, and McHot all actually walk into a McDonald's, right now - so what could possibly go wrong...?"

"Welcome to McDonald's, we're here to take your order?" The drive-through attendant voice sounded from the automatic machine thingy.

"Derek Christopher Shepherd! Get it together and tell the nice person what we want here, already. The window down is letting the heat into the car!" Addison Montgomery admonishes her now ex-husband, who is staring at the menu and trying to read it.

"Come on, Derek, you said you already decided! You wanted a bacon habanero wrap with extra lettuce, tomato, and cheese, right?" Meredith Grey (Derek's current-girlfriend) tries to remind him.

"Derek, just order yourself the one with the bacon and the one without it. And I'll eat whichever you like the least," Derek's very best friend ever Mark Sloan finally adds to this.

And just their luck that it's Mark Fucking' Sloan's answer that seems to solve Derek's problem.

So finally Derek yells into the speaker thingy "Yes, could I have the first order be a chicken habanero wrap with extra lettuce, tomato and cheese, and the second-order be a bacon habanero wrap with extra lettuce, tomato, and cheese? And two diet Pipsi's on the side for that order? And also an extra honey bun and also a hot-fudge sundae and also a caramel sundae with Spanish peanuts and also another extra honey bun on top of the other honey bun that I just talked to you, about?" Derek finally tries to answer coherently as Mark pats his back proudly and Derek glows exponentially at this simple action.

"And what name or names do you want to put on that part of the order?" The attendant asks him, unfazed, it seems, by his constant stuttering and mumbling.

And Derek looks back at everyone in the car, now, and off all of their very embarrassed looks, he somehow understands that he should use some pseudonyms so 'heaven help them' no one will recognize their names as being those of actual practicing physicians from Seattle Grace Hospital, who can't seem to get it together enough to order at a damn drive-thru.

"McDreamy & McSteamy," Derek says with a smirk.

"I'm sorry, but we don't serve those things, here, maybe those are part of our international menu? Where are you all from? If I may ask?" The attendant doesn't seem to process that these are actually their McNicknames.

"Oh, no, that's actually our, um, real, erm, our nicknames! Here, let me spell that for you, it starts with a capital "M"...

And Addison gives Meredith a sort of apologetic look as if to say to her 'I know you wanted him and that's why I finally got a divorce, but I am really sorry that you have to put up with this shit on a semi-regular basis if you ever want burgers to be in your life'.

And Meredith grins up at this and shoots Addison an appreciative look as if to say to her 'thank-you, Addison, for understanding because it seems you're the only one who ever does. Yes, Derek can be a huge pain-in-the-ass, but having you as my best friend seems to make it all better, indeed'.

And neither Mark nor Derek cares that their respective girlfriends are giving each other lovey-dovey eyes from the back and the front seat because they're both doing the same, with each other, as Mark encourages Derek with a pat on the back that he can do it...

That he can finish spelling their McNicknames for the attendant without having an aneurysm (because that would be really ironic and unhelpful, seeing as Derek is actually the only one of four them who is actually a real brain surgeon.

So the attendant finally understands the first part of the order and rings it through and then Derek starts to ask for the second on. And this time Meredith and Addison give him a list to read off of Meredith's phone so that he doesn't need to freak out about memorizing it.

"Hello, can I get a triple-soft-serve ice-cream cone to go along with a McFlurry for McHot, please?" Derek asks, filling Addison's order first because it's at the top of the list, while both Addison and Meredith glared at him while Derek looks up with big eyes and has no idea what their problem suddenly is.

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAKE IT A BIG DEAL AND REMIND US THAT ADDISON CAME BEFORE ME, AND THAT APPARENTLY SHE STILL DOES TO YOU!" Meredith huffs at her boyfriend as Derek promises "that's not what I meant," and Mark goes to make a joke about 'coming' but Meredith slaps him in the chest first so the McDonald's attendant won't hear that.

"Erm, sir, what flavor of McFlurry would you like for erm… McHot, did you say?" The attendant asks them this as they furiously key in the rest of that order.

"Oreo!" Addison yells loud enough for the attendant to hear her.

"You'll have to come on inside for that, folks, I'm sorry but we no longer serve ice-cream cones at the drive-through, due to many recent incidents of spilling the cones over the car, so please drive on through, and you'll have to come on inside for your triple-soft-serve," the McDonald's attendant says to them all.

"Should we put in the last order now, then?" Derek asks her, still a little confused.

"Can you please add on a cheeseburger and two diet sprites on top of that order?" Meredith calls out, answering her boyfriend's question right for him.

"Sure, and who will that last part be for?" The attendant starts typing all of that into the register.

Meredith's eyes fly wide open because usually, they call her 'McMeredith' but she doesn't want to give her real name again. So Addison saves her and calls out "McMedusa!" and reassures her it's about sea life and not about an off-putting overly bossy part of her personality, while Addison, this time, turns around in the car to slap Mark again before he makes a comment about 'tentacle sex'.

So now, with all of their orders keyed in, Derek pulls out his credit card and hands it over to the girl, saying to the rest of the party that he'll take this one on, mostly because he wants to buy Mark's dinner, but he could never say that in front of his own girlfriend and Mark's own girlfriend, so he just settles for being everyone's 'knight in shining… whatever' so that at least people will call him 'McDreamy' again.

"Thanks, Derek," both the girls smile up at him, and Mark says 'thank-you' with his McSteamy smile and it manages to seduce mostly Derek, of the three of them who are not him in the car, and he's happy about this but also slightly disappointed that neither Addison nor Meredith got jealous over him about that fact.

But all of this ends up culminating when the drive-through attendant wants to give them their order through the window, to which Addison just rolls her eyes at Derek and tells him "we have to go in, to get my triple-soft-serve anyhow, so why don't we just pick everything up at the counter!"

And Meredith smiles at Addison and pokes her in the back and blows her a kiss as if to say 'thank you for saving me for that one' to which Addison blows Meredith a kiss back as if to say 'all women who slept with Derek at some point have to stick up for each other, of course!'.

So they're all in McDonald's now, after Derek parked the car in the only remaining parking space that he had to back into three times because it was so damn tight to the bumpers.

"To the left!" Meredith shouted at him from one corner.

"To the right!" Addison shouted at him from the other corner.

"That's what she said and what she said!" Mark exclaimed from the back seat.

And that's when both the girls left the boys in the parking lot, deciding that being objectified like that in front of the entire outside was not worth it anymore in this heat.

And Derek and Mark were happy, anyhow, because they couldn't concentrate on the parking with all of that yelling outside of the windows.

So now they're standing at the checkout line, excitedly anticipating the delectable goodness that they were about to devour.

And everyone is hungry, and everyone is thirsty, and everyone is turned on and hot and horny beyond all reason.

So the standing in line part very quickly becomes the four of them pressed together quite tightly, with the girls bunched together in the middle, giggling to each other in hushed whispers as they tried to ignore the throbbing between their legs every time their hips brushed together by accident.

And the boys were taller so they were standing right behind them, with Derek right behind Meredith and Mark right behind Addison and each of the boy's hands wandering all over their respective girlfriend's backs, and also to each other's hands when they 'accidentally on purpose' brought them far to the sides so that they would be touching each other as well.

And this was only finally interrupted when yet another McDonald's attendant rang a bell at them passive-aggressively to signal their order was up.

And the entire restaurant laughed at them when they called out "Number 102 for 'McDreamy, McSteamy, McHot, and McMedusa!' Your order is on trays nine and ten over here!"

And then the girls ran off to pick out a table as the boys dutifully carried the trays in the full chivalrous form to the booth by the window furthest away from the sun.

"Move over," says Derek, who tries to squish in next to Meredith. But the booth is uneven, and that's why it's one of the only ones empty, and the only other free ones are so soaked in sun right now they look boiling.

So Meredith groans at him and tries to push in further.

But their elbows keep hitting every time they try to move, so Addison pushes him aside and directs him to sit next to Mark on the longer side.

And he accepts this without resistance as Addison generously strokes their ego to say 'big boys deserve a big bench'.

And then both of them wink dutifully at their boyfriends, to let them know just what kind of 'supersize me' that they're talking about.

And the grins that manifest on their faces are matched with huge smirks on both Addison and Meredith's.

"Can I try some of your cheeseburger?" Addison asks Meredith innocently, who slides it over to Addison without hesitation, as Addison takes it gratefully before nudging her oreo McFlurry over to Meredith in return.

Meredith says "thank you" for both of them, because Addison is taking a huge bite of her cheeseburger now, and the sauce is melting all over her chin.

"You've got some…" Meredith makes a gesture as Addison arches her eyebrow at her until Meredith moves her two fingers to glide along Addison's sauce-covered face to wipe up the extra, before placing the two fingers in her mouth and smirking at Addison as she's licking them off.

She knows exactly what she's doing to the redhead, who moans into her cheeseburger in reaction, and Meredith catches on and says to her '"it's really spicy there, huh", pointing at the burger with her other hand, while simultaneously moving closer and closer on the seat toward's Addison.

"Uh-huh…" Addison answers without a full answer because she's chewing still and washing it all down with her diet Sprite.

And Mark and Derek catch on to their not-so-subtle flirtation and want in on this game, so both of them start playing footsie with… Each other… under the table, until Derek accidentally kicks Mark in the shins and Mark winces at tries not to say 'ow', and Derek wraps her arm around him to make him feel all better.

"I think you owe him a honeybun, Mark," Addison gestures at his desert.

"But I wanted to lick all the honey out with my tongue," Mark says in a disappointed sigh as he slides the package over to Derek's side of the table.

"We can share it, Markie, you didn't mean to hit me, I know," Derek says to him, using the old nickname to cheer him up.

And Meredith says to him "awe, how big of you to decide to share something for once," in a loaded tone that Derek doesn't place and just smiles to accept it as if it were just a simple compliment.

And after Derek downs half of his wrap with bacon, and half of Mark's without bacon, because they ended up switching halfway through.

(So I guess "those two can share between them just FINE" Addison ends up groaning at them while tickling Meredith a little under her rib).

And then Meredith teases Addison back because she giggles a lot when she's ticked so she tries hard to find a similar place on Addison's body. But so far tickling her ribs is not producing any giggles at all, so she moves southward to Addison's stomach, then hip, then her thighs.

But Addison doesn't seem to be ticklish, or at least, she's a lot better at hiding it than Meredith is. And Meredith gets annoyed at this and starts pressing in harder.

And this gets a pleasing reaction, though not what she was originally going for; but actually exactly what she was somehow going for all along.

Because Addison starts moaning into her Oreo McFlurry, and maybe the boys think it's just because she really likes all the cookies and cream.

But Meredith knows Addison better than that, she is her very best friend after all. So Meredith and Addison have already talked about what they sound and talk like when they're having sex. So Meredith knows that that moan was for her.

And it's driving her crazy, making her at least a thousand times hotter than ever before. So Meredith slurps on her diet soda again, and motions with her forearm for Addison to share some of her goddamned McFlurry because she's going to implode if she doesn't cool down before long.

And Mark and Derek just keep chattering and Derek keeps his arm around Mark still, not wanting to let go, and Mark not wanting him to let go, either, so Mark feeds him fries one by one as he chomps them bite by bite. And then he holds up the diet Pepsi cup with the straw so Derek can drink from that, too.

And Meredith and Addison don't mind one little bit about what they already know is transpiring between their respective boyfriends (their potentially mutual boyfriends/ex-boyfriends? They're not even really sure about all that at this point, anymore…).

Because all they care about now is how the ice cream is caressing their gentle tongues, and all the delicious sounds that are happening when Meredith has taken over Addison's McFlurry and she's crunching those cookie pieces between her lips and her teeth.

And Addison has moved on to her triple-soft-serve cone which she is lapping at with her tongue. And Meredith is rubbing her free hand up and down Addison's leg now, reaching higher and higher each time that she does.

And Addison is using her free hand that is not holding the ice-cream-cone to rub circles around Meredith's lower back, and teasing lower and lower every time that she does.

And eventually, both of them start moaning louder and louder into the ice cream, as Meredith reaches Addison's upper and inner thighs and gropes Addison right through her panties. And she's rubbing her right under her skirt or whatever.

All the while Addison reaches lower until she finds Meredith's ass. And she's squeezing it between her palms as her thumbs finally find purchase. And then she's digging her fingernails in as well as her fingers and thumbs. And Meredith is so wet beneath her damn underwear she swears she's never been this hot and bothered in a restaurant ever before.

(Because we're considering McDonald's a restaurant, here, apparently. Or maybe a diner? But that's all very much besides the damn point.)

Because the point is that all of the dinner food has been already cleared off the trays. And all of the sodas have been mostly finished by now anyways. And all that's left is Derek and Mark sharing two honey buns, and not being subtle about saying that part aloud as they smirk at the two girls.

And Meredith and Addison are now finishing off their ice cream remains. And Addison is asking for Meredith to feed her some of her McFlurry, so Meredith does this and they share the single spoon for a while, as they suckle on the few and far in between cookie pieces that are right on the bottom of the damn cup.

And then all that remains is Addison's triple-soft-serve ice cream cone, which Addison seamlessly offers most of the remainder to Meredith. Because she wants to see the way that Meredith sticks out her tongue completely out to lick it with, as she graces it with broad and broader strokes, before bringing her tongue back in her mouth to taste it before beginning again.

And all of them are waiting for the final bomb to finally just go off (metaphorically speaking, of course, because they don't want to relive the days when that was actually real life). And all of them not wanting to be the first one to crack and to just blurt out-

(To the whole table, one supposes, because as has been explained before with this whole 'headfuck love square' thing they've all got going on, well they're not sure exactly just at whom they might be blurting this out too, let's be real honest, here, because they're not pointedly NOT blurting this out to anyone at the table, either, at all.)

And eventually, it's Mark, of course, because he's a sex god (or so Addison says to both Derek and Meredith, because she's the only one who's actually slept with him, thus far, at this point) and because he really is horny as fuck. As they all are, but he's just the least afraid of all of them to express it.

So Mark bashfully makes a show of taking Derek's car keys out of his pocket. And he says 'well, I'm in the mood for a quickie to help with the digestion, any takers?' he asks every single person there, at the damn table. And I guess he realizes that he was probably supposed to look at Addison, first.

But Addison is looking at Meredith, anyway, who eventually says to him 'maybe another time, McSteamy, I'm already steamy enough with this heat, right now,' she turns Mark down, politely. And then Mark does remember that he's supposed to be looking at his current girlfriend, Addison. But she finally meets his eye to say 'maybe later, honeybuns', smirking at both Derek and Mark in reference to them and to their shared desert.

And so finally, under both Meredith's and Addison's approving nods for him to go on if he wants to, Derek says "yeah, I'll join you, Markie, we can go for a drive if you want!". And this sort of comment isn't fooling either Addison or Meredith, but they just pretend that it does, because again, they really don't care at all. Because they're doctors who are all best friends who talk about everything so that they know neither of the four of them has any STD's.

So they just wave 'bye-bye' to them, knowing that it's not like they can get each other pregnant on accident, so since they all seem to be down for connecting every part of this love-quadrilateral, or at least almost every one of them, by now, that they should just enjoy their McFun while they still all want to have it.

And somebody might have said something like a "McWhatTheFuck" at this apparent 'open and modern relationship' they all seem to be having… Together, but sort of not all simultaneously together… Because at least up to this point, they all seem to like sex in groupings of two people at once because it's easier to keep track of all the limbs at one time…?

But it really does work for them, and that's all really good. And as Mark starts the car to get the air conditioning going by pointing the automatic car starter through the McDonald's window, Addison and Meredith keep sharing the small remaining shards of the ice cream cone, lick by alternating lick, as they go one-for-one now, but never at the same time.

Because as much as they want to, they don't want to give the boys the satisfaction of seeing their lips touch for them, they want to savor that moment, but just with each other. So Addison and Meredith keep chipping away at that ice cream cone, hands wandering around more and more explicit parts of themselves as they go.

This time Addison's hand is groping over Meredith's core, as Meredith tries not to call out her name at the sensation of Addison fingering through her damn panties under the table. And Meredith's got her hand up under Addison's shirt, as she runs her hands over bare skin-on-skin and it's enough for Addison to be giving her dirty eyes as Meredith looks right back at her with the same lust.

And Meredith swore she thought she was going to crack before Addison, but she doesn't want to lose out on anything else, she whispers to Addison seductively into her ear 'I want to taste what that tastes like combined with your lips, and I don't wanna wait any longer…' before pulling her lips up to Addison's ear and biting slightly on the very tip-top of it.

And Meredith knows that she's winning now because Addison starts to buck her hips off of nothing under the table, as Meredith rubs wider and wider circles across her bare stomach. And to Meredith's everlasting delight-

Addison immediately hops up abruptly from the McDonald's tables, saying something about 'getting a drink at the fountain,' or 'using the washroom' or any or all of these things, as she skirts right off pointedly to the women's only washroom, where she wants for Meredith Grey, the rest of her ice cream cone still in her hand.

Addison mouths 'follow me Mer' to the Grey girl over Mark and Derek's shoulders as she passes by them in the booth and gives them both a reassuring squeeze on the shoulders. And Meredith waits at least two full minutes because she wants to see Addison after she literally is sweating it out.

So she watches and waits as she's dazzled with a performance of Derek taking all the trays away to make another grand gesture (for both Meredith AND Mark… (But mostly sort-of for Mark… Which Meredith is not naive to but she doesn't give two cares because she's about to screw Addison.)

So Meredith waits one more whole minute before she hops up and says she 'has to go touch up her makeup or something like that'. And she leaves Mark and Derek to run off with each other to Derek's car, sternly telling them both to 'please for the love of Christ to clean up after their 'road trip'. And as the boys promise they will, Meredith makes a beeline for the same washroom Addison just walked into, minutes earlier.

"God, I thought you would never leave them, Addison says with an intense sort of vulnerability, showing perhaps accidentally that she meant more by that than 'just now' or 'just this once'. And Meredith nods at her, to show that she understands this, as she locks the door behind them with a flick of her finger, and presses Addison against the corner with their entire cores grinding together.

"Mm, have you been a bad girl, starting without me, Addie?" Meredith husks in the sexiest voice Addison has ever heard from this blonde girl. "I-, I-" Addison stutters, as she tries to finish off the rest of the ice cream cone before it melts in her hand, but she knows that that is not what Meredith meant at all, as she's pulling at her non-ice-cream filled hand and shoving that once into her mouth.

"I can taste you already on your fingers, you DID start without me, you bad, bad, Addie, girl," Meredith says to her mischievously, and Addison feels a flush of wetness explode out of the inside of her. "Fuck, Meredith, I was just so turned on by the sight of you," Addison groans out as Meredith starts to pull at the remainder of Addison's ice cream cone, taking it into her mouth and moaning at it obscenely.

"It's okay, Addie. But you need to tell me something first, to make it up to Mer, alright?" Meredith smirks as she refers to herself as a persona for sexytimes in the third-person. "Yes, anything," Addison promises to her. "Were you thinking only of me, and how I got you this way in sitting in the booth, and touching and teasing you," Meredith laces her voice with possessiveness, and it's really really working for Addison.

"Yes, only you, Meredith. My ex-husband and my current boyfriend and your current boyfriend and your ex-dirty mistress counterpart, well, look, our mutual Mark and Derek, best friends, were both there with us, but I was only thinking of you, all today I've been only thinking of you…" Addison moans out for Meredith, and the sincere expression in her green eyes shows to Meredith she's absolutely not kidding.

"Well, that's good news, Addie," Meredith hushes more gently and tenderly this time. "I've been only thinking of you, all day, also," Meredith brings her lips closer to ghost over Addison's skin on her shoulders, but not quite kissing or touching or, biting there yet. "And I am wet, I am very wet down there in my panties. I'll let you feel me, but only after I finish you first…" Meredith hushes to Addison, who submits completely to all of Meredith's beautiful dirty talks…

"Oh, please God, Meredith, fuck me for Chrissakes! Because "McSteamy, McDreamy, McMeredith, and McHot all actually walk into a McDonald's, right now - so what could possibly go wrong...?" Addison begins, and now Meredith is a bit confused because she's not so sure where Addison is going with a long-ish windup like this. "The only thing that could go wrong, is if McHot doesn't get McMeredith's tongue down her throat before she punches a damn wall in frustration!" Addison finally finished her sentence.

And with no further ado, Meredith has Addison backed completely into a corner, and just as she promised she would in the booth, Meredith has Addison lick the last few licks of the ice cream cone before Meredith grabs the empty cone out of her hand and throws it away. And then she grabs onto Addison's hip and her waist, as she seals their lips finally together, to lick the last drops of the ice cream off of Addison's tongue.

"Well, what do you know?" Meredith Grey purrs with a wicked grin as Addison Montgomery growls for her to move her lips right back to where they just were on her own. "The ice cream tastes much, much, better when it's all mixed in with the taste of you…" And Addison smiles into Meredith with a wicked grin of her own, as they share the taste of these sweet seconds of summer together, and in a McDonalds with McMeredith and McHot finally together, and kissing, and this time, for real.

***** END OF CHAPTER 3

Author's Note 2:

Well, here we are finally having had McDonald's.

This story could end here.

The plot has been pretty much resolved, the main premise has been fulfilled.

But if you beg really nicely and maybe offer some ideas, it could be stretched for a fourth Chapter, if you really want the full-McSmut-experience, here.

Will preface I'm probably more likely to go in-depth on the MerAdd, because I also wrote Car Sex for Mark And Derek in another story, already, and the whole 'boy' thing isn't really much my thing as much as the 'women' thing is.

But also, up for debate, I'm trying to be more open about new things these days.

So let me know in the comments, any secret McFantasies you have.

And I'll see if I can at least provide them to you as a 'sauce on the side', at the very least. ;)

bobbiejelly

%%% THANK YOU FOR STICKING WITH THIS STORY! LEAVE A REVIEW, PRETTY PLS. %%%

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Author's Note 3:

Well, that's all for now, folks, unfortunately, I must say.

Thanks of course for reading, I will chat with you soon in the comments.

Much love and yours, truly,

bobbiejelly

bobbiejelly