Fall 2011

Max was about ready to hit his past self. If only he'd just told her properly when he'd had a chance this could all have been avoided. But no he'd chickened out like a coward.

After the funeral, he'd told himself that he should give her some space which had been the right course of action. However once Zoey had started acting more like herself again Max had decided it was still too close to the funeral and put it off once more. And more and more excuses followed until one day, all of a sudden, Zoey slipped out of his reach.

Simon as it turned out had lost his father to a car accident just a year earlier and knew exactly how Zoey was feeling. She appreciated Max's support, but he had two living parents and didn't know how she was feeling the way Simon did or so Zoey always said. And suddenly Max was ditched on a regular basis so Zoey could hang out with her boyfriend.

He was officially living his own nightmare.

"Simon's gonna take me out for ice cream after class," Zoey said as they walked to class together.

"Hmm," Max replied. He'd gotten very good at making non-committal noises when Zoey got on this topic.

"It's just so great to have someone to talk to about everything," Zoey said with a sigh. "I'm so comfortable around him."

"Huh," Max said, trying to come up with a new tone infection for his pointless reply.

"I just wish you were this happy," Zoey sighed. "What's going on with you lately? You seem so gloomy."

Max couldn't help thinking, 'you try being chipper when the woman you love won't stop talking to you about some other guy she's seeing,' but of course he didn't say that. Instead he shrugged.

"I know!" Zoey exclaimed as they turned a corner. "You just need to find someone the way I have. I could set you up with Autumn!"

"Who's Autumn?" Max asked, trying not to groan.

"She's in my English class," Zoey explained. "You know one of the few classes we didn't manage to get together."

"Ah those," Max replied.

"So how about it?" Zoey asked. "I think you'd like her. She's really nice. I bet you'd have a lot in common."

Max's bitter thoughts couldn't help but reply 'unless she's also in love with you I doubt we have enough in common' though like before he didn't say them out loud.

"If it will make you happy," Max sighed. Why couldn't he just say no to this woman?

"Brilliant!" Zoey exclaimed. "I'll talk to her later today, but you have to tell me how it goes once you've been out. Promise?"

"I promise," Max sighed.

Max was saved from further conversation on the topic by them reaching their class. Usually Zoey didn't talk during class though she would expect him to sit beside her.

School was the best thing he had going for him lately. Max could lose himself in lectures and forget for a moment how doomed his heart was to always be incomplete.

Ironically, it had been seeing Zoey with someone else that had finally taught him with perfect clarity he could never be as happy with someone else the same way he could be happy with Zoey. Not that he'd ever tried. Sure, he'd done seven minutes in heaven once or twice in high school thanks to peer pressure, but Max had never really cared about another girl before the way he cared about Zoey. If he was being really honest with himself he wasn't sure he could. Still there was no reason to wallow. There was more to life than love right?

Class ended and Zoey waved goodbye before running off to see Simon. Max knew he wouldn't see her again until at least tomorrow, if not the weekend. With a sigh he packed up his books and made his way home.

The strangest thing about the new set up of his life was how odd it was to not spend all his time with Zoey. He hadn't really realized how much time they spent together until suddenly he was forced to find other things to do for huge chunks of the day.

To stave off boredom, Max attempted to make some new friends. It wasn't that hard to meet new people in University; the trick was getting them to talk to you for more than five seconds. He didn't have any luck until he remembered an encounter from months ago he'd had with a couple guys in one of his Computer Science classes. They'd been trying to start a programming club for coding pranks. He hadn't been very interested back then, but now things were different.

After their next shared class, Max walked up and re-introduced himself trying not to sound lame.

"Oh yeah I remember," the guy on the left said. He was of East Indian descent and shorter than the other guy. Max couldn't quite recall their names and was really hoping they would say them casually so he didn't end up awkwardly asking later.

"Ready to join the dark side of the coding force?" said the taller white guy on the right.

"Sign me up," Max replied with a smile.

The East Indian guy leaned over to his friend and said, "I don't know about this Lief, he doesn't seem like the prankster type."

"You caught me," Max replied, putting his hands in the air for effect. "But I'm sick of just hanging out with myself all the time so teach me Obi-Wan Kenobi."

"Keeping with the Star Wars metaphor does get you some points," added the guy who Max was guessing was called Leif. Now if only Max could get Leif to say the other guys name he'd be laughing. "Can't hurt to try him out. I mean we could at least test his coding skills."

"Code can be learned," the other guy said dramatically. "The art of a prank is something you're born with."

"Tobin," Leif groaned. Then he turned to Max. "Are you free this Saturday around noon-ish to get started? We usually bring our laptops down to the cafetiera."

"Yeah I'm free Saturday," Max said, adding only to himself that with Zoey so often not around he felt like he was basically free all the time these days.

"Great," Leif replied. "So we'll see you then. Bring whatever laptop you code with, and your charging cord."

"You aren't officially in though," the guy who wasn't Leif said. "Think of this more like an audition."

"Don't listen to Tobin," Leif said. "He's forgetting that no one else has even asked to join."

"Hey it's an exclusive club," Tobin disagreed defensively.

"Oh please," Leif scoffed. "With just us it's more like two-dorks-coding-alone-in-the-corner club."

"Well that's why we've been recruiting more members," Tobin replied, gesturing to Max.

"Yes and we've had exactly one applicant who you just tried to turn away," Leif raised his eyebrows.

Max couldn't help laughing at their dynamic. It was very clear that these two had been friends a long time, maybe even as long as him and Zoey.

"I have a feeling we'll get on great," Max smiled. "I'll see you guys Saturday."

After a few goodbyes and 'see ya saturday's Max packed up his stuff and headed home, thankful that he'd at least have some not me-time this weekend.

After greeting his parents and dumping his backpack, Max went upstairs to collapse on his bed. What he wished right now more than anything was simply not to think about Zoey. Why did his mind have to torture itself, by always wondering what she was doing? And when it wasn't doing that it was focused on how much stronger his feelings had gotten with less and less access to Zoey's company. It was like he missed her, missed her at his core even though he'd seen her this morning. Neither of these realities made any sense to him, but nevertheless he had no choice but to live them.

The days till Saturday passed at a steady rate. He did get to see a bit of Zoey the following day though just for about half an hour between classes then off she went again. She and Max had less classes on Friday while Simon had a full day's worth so Zoey spent most of her day with Max. Not that this helped him feel any better however since he knew if Simon had been free today she would have been with him like usual.

"You know Simon was a little jealous of you when I first told him we were friends," Zoey was saying as they sat in the cafeteria with their homework spread out across the table. "But then I explained that we'd been friends since pre-school and he seemed to relax quite a bit."

"Great," Max said, not really bothering to hide the sarcasm in his voice.

"I'm sorry," Zoey said, surprising Max. "I talk about Simon alot, don't I?"

"Maybe," Max replied, not wanting to make her feel bad.

"I will try to do better," Zoey said with firm resolve. "I mean I'm sure you get really bored with me going on and on."

"Not bored," Max counted, for it was true bored was never his emotion at such times. It was more regret, misery, jealousy, fear, longing, sorrow just to name a few.

"You don't have to sugar coat it," Zoey laughed. "I know it's boring. Oh but you know what isn't boring?" She barely paused for breath before answering her own question. "Your date with Autumn."

"Oh right," he replied, just to make her happy.

"I know your class on Monday gets out by one and she is free at two so I said two-thirty at the little coffee shop on campus. You know the one we usually see on our way into the building from the entrance closest to the bus stop."

"Got it," Max said, putting a thumbs up in front of his face to try and communicate he understood.

"And remember I need to hear how it goes," she continued, grinning. "I think you'll get along great."

Thankfully he was able to change the topic after that pretty easily to school related stuff and a few hours later when Simon got out of class Zoey left to meet up with him. With a great sigh, Max made his way home.

And now he knew he wouldn't see Zoey again till their shared class on Tuesday. Was it sad how much he was keeping track of this? Maybe. Was it possible for him to stop. No.

At least he had that hang out with those guys from the coding club on Saturday before the dreaded date on Monday.

When Max arrived at the cafetiera fifteen minutes early he wasn't surprised that they weren't there. Instead he got himself some lunch and went and sat down with his laptop hoping they'd see him when they came in. And sure enough only about twenty minutes later both Leif and Tobin sat down at his stable, laptops in hand.

"Hey," Tobin said as he opened his laptop looking very intense as if their little coding session mattered to the CIA.

"Don't mind him," Leif said.

Once they all started talking code, Max found he quite enjoyed himself. It had been so long, if ever, that he'd had guy friends and this was very much needed with everything going in his life at the moment.

"So Max," Tobin changed the topic about an hour later. "Got any hot sisters?"

"Only child," Max replied.

Tobin pretended his heart was being stabbed with a knife Max assumed this to be a way of showing disappointment.

"He asks everyone that," Leif explained. "Always looking for a new blind date."

"Hey it's hard to meet people in this day and age," Tobin defended himself.

"There'll be time for girls later," Leif shrugged. "Gotta rock the career first or I'll never win."

"Win at what?" Max laughed.

"Everything," Leif explained, slowly as if this meant more than it actually did.

These guys were nice and all but Max couldn't quite figure them out.

"So what about you Max?" Tobin asked. "Seen any girls around school worth dating?"

"What do you mean worth dating?" Max asked, confused.

"Like attractive," Tobin replied. "Got it going on here and here." And he gestured to his chest and then his butt.

"Oh um I guess no," Max mumbled.

"Are you gay?" Tobin asked, shocked as if Max was somehow refusing to keep the bro code or something.

"No," Max said quickly. "Just don't really notice stuff like that."

"What's her name?" Leif asked at once.

"Who's name?" Max replied.

"The name of the woman keeping you from noticing other women," Leif explained.

"Oh wow," Max said softly as the realization hit him. "You are so right. How'd you do that?"

"Not just a hat stand my friend," Leif said pointing to his head.

"Definitely not," Max explained. "Damn I didn't even realize."

"So her name?" Leif tried again, impatiently.

"Zoey," Max said.

"Where'd you meet her?" Tobin asked. "And does she have any hot sisters?"

Max chuckled. "She has an older brother," he said to Tobin's disappointment. "And she has a boyfriend."

"Tough luck," Leif sympathized.

Max couldn't believe how amazing it was to talk casually about all this stuff with someone who didn't understand the depth of everything. It was kinda freeing.

"Well as they say plenty of fish in the sea," Tobin said.

"Actually I have a blind date on Monday," Max replied.

"How did you manage that?" Tobin asked, clearly looking for details that could get him into a similar situation.

"Zoey set it up," Max explained.

"Ohh," Leif said in an even more sympathetic voice. "That sucks man."

"What why?" Tobin said, sounding confused.

"Just think about it for a moment Tobin," Leif continued, carefully as if talking to a slow person. Tobin didn't seem to pick up on it. "The girl you want setting you up with someone else kinda implies she doesn't want you."

"Oh man," Max groaned. "I hadn't even thought of that."

Leif nodded, empathetically at him. "I mean cause if she felt the same why would she try and take you off the market."

"Somehow you guys have managed to improve my mood and then ruin it all over again in the space of about five minutes," Max whined.

"What are friends for," Leif laughed.

"Coding," Tobin pitched in. "We have forgotten about the task at hand men."

Max and Leif chuckled, but still the focus shifted back to the computers which was fine by Max. He needed more time to process the new outlook on life Leif had given him anyway. It was very clear to Max even with just one afternoon spent in their company that Leif had been in love before while Tobin clearly hadn't. Despite their differences the two were very clearly the closest of friends and Max was glad to have met them.

Plus thanks to Tobin's attitude he was dreading his date on Monday a little less. After all he could always tell Zoey it went badly no matter what actually happened and then she'd stop bringing it up right?

So what do you think of Max's trying not to sulk? Is he doing a good job lol.

Also anyone also reading my Mortal Instruments story 'Roommates and Soulmates' just know the wait is almost over. My editor has the next two chapters. I'm just waiting for her to find time to edit them. Cheers. :)

Sneak Peek Chapter 10

"Hence my original conclusion," Max said as he finished explaining his story to the guys on Saturday afternoon in January. "I'm a horrible person."

"Yeah you are," Tobin agreed. "But not for the reason you think. You're terrible for not giving up his Zoey girl and keeping the totally hot chick who actually likes you."

"I know," Max groaned. "I just can't."

"And she's still with that boyfriend of hers, huh?" Leif asked. Max nodded.

"You my friend are doomed," Tobin said cheerfully, patting Max on the shoulder.

"Oh thanks," Max said rolling his eyes. "Big help!"