CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED EIGHTY
It was dark and quiet when Yuri's restless mind refused to give him anymore peace. In an instant, he found himself wide awake, despite refusing to open his eyes.
He remembered falling asleep with his arms around his husband's head, Viktor's arms around his torso in turn, but at some point that had flipped. He could hear the man's heartbeat, slow and rhythmic.
...At least he's getting some sleep finally... I feel like my stomach's in knots...
There was a slight crick in Yuri's neck that he suddenly became acutely aware of, and he grumbled quietly as he turned onto his other side, wincing a little as he was reminded of the bruise still trying to heal there. Finding that more annoying than the neck cramp though, he twisted onto his back again, flopping his hands onto his chest for lack of anywhere else to put them, and stared up at the black ceiling.
He drew in a quiet breath, not quite comfortable lying on his back either, but just as he was about to return to his original spot, he found Viktor turning instead. As had always been the Russian's custom, at some point in his sleep, he'd figured out a way of getting his chest against Yuri's back and both arms around him, setting either his cheek or forehead against the back of Yuri's left shoulder. This time it was his forehead.
The hand that had gone over Yuri's chest pressed palm and fingers against his skin firmly, as though trying to calm the throbbing heart just underneath.
"...I don't know what to do to make this okay again." Viktor said quietly, pulling his partner a little closer, feeling that heart pounding just a bit harder for a moment, "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you just now."
"How long have you been awake?" The younger figure wondered quietly, reaching both hands up to paw at the one against his chest, turning his head a little to try and see his spouse past his shoulder, though barely seeing a few tufts of silver-grey hair in the dark.
"Probably thirty minutes. I haven't checked..."
Yuri thought to reach for his phone, but in a queen-size bed, it was 3 feet too far away for him to get it without having to leave Viktor's warmth, and he refused to move from it. The Russian's free hand came up to clasp over both of his anyway, keeping him where he was and nuzzling the back of his neck.
"Can't sleep?"
The younger figure shook his head a little, "I was out cold...but then my brain decided it was done, so now I'm wide awake, like it's high noon already."
"Me too."
"Tell me you at least got some rest..." Yuri pleaded, twisting a little to finally see the man behind him, the hand that had come up around both of his being pulled free for lack of reach.
Viktor just kissed his shoulder, holding there for a moment before sliding his unused arm out from under Yuri's back, propping his head up on it where he curled it at the elbow, "The best I've had in a week, probably." The hand still on Yuri's chest started to move one finger, drawing a small circle against his skin, "But I knew I would as soon as I saw you. Now I just need to do something so you can rest easy..."
"...Can you pack your father into a box and send him home?"
The Russian huffed a laugh, gently pulling the hand from Yuri's grasp and trailing down slowly. He leaned in a little closer to nose his husband's ear, "If only it were so easy..." He stroked his hand carefully over tense abs, tracing circles there like he had on the man's chest a moment before, sliding over to Yuri's side and then down further towards his hip and leg, "Just getting him on the plane was challenge."
"Did you have to check him in as cargo?" Yuri wondered, trying to find the humor in it, though still struggling a little.
"The biggest cargo." Viktor huffed, smiling a little finally as he leaned in a little closer to nose his partner's lip, hand gently sliding over the soft-spot of Yuri's right hip, "A huge box of wood and metal, with 'live animal' written in print on the outside." His forearm grazed across center, testing the younger figure as lips touched briefly further up, "There's little I want more than to make him see us." He said, suddenly changing subjects a little.
"...Are you sure that's such a good idea though?" Yuri wondered cautiously, feeling that soft hand glide over his thigh, a fingertip sliding across his skin before the whole hand went between his legs, gently cradling against athletic muscle before slowly making its way higher, "What happened at the airport was the first thing he saw, and it wasn't even that much...a friendly hug that could've happened between you and absolutely anyone. Do you think he'll be able to keep his cool if-..." His words trailed a little as his mind became slightly distracted, feeling that hand creep right up to the inside-crook of his thigh, fingers roaming and caressing where they could before descending away again in a delicate tease against his senses, "...If...if we..."
"If we what?" Viktor coaxed, "Are you worried that I'll kiss you in front of him on purpose? I threatened him with that once before..." He pressed in closer, lightly doing just that, barely touching him before pulling back again and looking on with half-lidded eyes, hand continuing to tease below, "Or maybe that I'll nibble on your ear a little?" Again, he did just that, "Or your neck?" And again. He twisted to lie on his side, curling his knees forward and drawing his husband's left leg over them, then sliding his hand all the way back down the man's inner thigh, fingers and thumb parting just before center in yet another relentless tease, "Or that I might suck on your fingers like I did at Nationals last year?" The Russian trailed a little further down, tracing the tip of his nose across pale skin until he found the man's hands clasped loosely over his own chest, kissing and mouthing at his pointer finger until Yuri raised it for him, then licking its entire length before taking it in and closing his lips over it lightly.
"...I don't know that his reaction would be quite as fun as the La Première attendants when I did that to you before."
Viktor huffed a quiet laugh, gently biting down on that finger before letting it go and looking up again, "That was probably the most Eros thing I've ever seen you do in public." He mused, touching the tip of his nose to Yuri's and nuzzling him affectionately for a moment, "Part of me wishes you'd do it more often...but another part of me thinks those moments more exciting because they're so rare."
"I still have enough trouble being Eros with you in private." The younger figure countered, "I still...get embarrassed..."
"I know." Viktor hummed, leaning in to kiss him properly, his hand finally roaming over center, feeling the man was still a bit soft but making progress, "And I love it."
Yuri drew in a hissed breath as he felt it, the back of his left hand pressing up against the Russian's chest.
"But do you know what I love even more than that?" The silver skater wondered, carefully massaging the tip with gentle fingers.
"...Hah?"
"The look on your face...when you're all embarrassed, but you're still letting me do stuff."
The younger figure's face was already pink by then, but his cheeks got a little more red as he looked into his husband's eyes, seeing the excitement there, and the longing. It wasn't lust though, as Yuri had expected given what Viktor was doing to him, but rather, a craving to get some different kind of satisfaction...something intangible, maybe not even sexual at all. He felt the kisses trailing from his mouth to his chin, down his neck, across his chest and abdomen, and lower still. His eyes closed before he felt the rest, hands coming up to either side of his head, the side of one knuckle just against his lip as he tilted his face against the back of his hand. He felt the light kisses against his center first, the long lick from root to tip and back down again, he felt how Viktor lifted it from where it had been lying against his abdomen and gave attention to all sides. Everything he knew about pleasing his husband had come from all the different things Viktor had done to him first. Rarely did he have the courage to actually watch the man as he was at his task, paying close attention to tactile sensation alone for his education, but every once in a while, he'd peek an eye open to glance down.
The sight of Viktor Nikiforov going down on him was often as unbelievable as knowing they were married in the first place. Never in Yuri's wildest imaginings had such a sight ever come to his mind's eye...and yet, there the man was, and he was enjoying himself as well. One in a while, Viktor would notice him looking, too, and glance back with one half-lidded blue eye, smiling as he went on with his business. Yuri would immediately look away again though, cheeks as red as ever, trying not to suddenly get louder in his vocal gasps.
But that's exactly the sort of thing the Russian wanted to hear, so he'd go out of his way to try to illicit those sounds. He kissed, licked, and sucked lightly on the tip, getting the underside of it particularly wet and then gently blowing on it. Yuri wouldn't be able to stop the leg twitch and loud gasp when he felt it. Viktor huffed a quiet laugh to himself and then went on, taking the man wholly into his mouth and bobbing slowly. Every reluctant utterance from his partner was like music, every twitch a reward; the best was hearing him cry out and arch his back. A few more moments like that, and the Russian kissed it one last time, then moved up again, pulling his husband's legs against his waist as he crept in closer.
His hand was on the sheets as he moved, and his fingers graced the edge of the warming liquid bottle that Yuri had discarded earlier, quickly grabbing it up as he continued working his way up without missing a beat. He kissed at the center of his partner's chest before looming forward to kiss the tip of his chin, admiring the look on the man's face and seeing the fruits of his labors thereupon.
Yuri was already partly out of breath by then, face red, panting and gasping when he wasn't biting down on that knuckle. One cherry-hazel eye peeked open when he felt Viktor rise up again to sit, and watched as he dribbled some of the liquid into the palm of his hand before capping the bottle and setting it on the night-stand next to his phone.
Viktor was careful not to slather the initially-cold liquid anywhere without warming it up first, rubbing it between both hands before placing them around his partner's member. Between the slickness and the warmth, it wasn't long before Yuri was crying out with each stroke. Quick and slippery, Viktor's hands went about their task; rubbing, squeezing, twisting, and grasping with expertise. He backed off a little bit when he felt his husband's legs clamping down around his sides sooner than he wanted, and pulled one hand away to put it to other use. With both knees beside his partner's hips, Viktor drew in even closer, applying his pressure to the man's center and then leaning over top of him, one hand continuing to pull and tug, the other holding himself up. He kept keen blue eyes on the younger man under him, watching his face, looking for those brown eyes to glance back at him.
When he saw them, the Russian withdrew his slippery hand for a moment, sliding it up his husband's side as he leaned down to kiss him. He felt both of the man's arms come up over his shoulders, fingers going through his hair where they could, hips rising up against his own in a desperate bid to keep feeling those slick tugs from before.
Yuri's whole frame buckled a little when he felt those fingers around him again, picking up where they left off, "Faster...faster..."
The Russian was all too happy to oblige, feeling his husband's fingers clawing at his back and shoulders as he went. He knew his partner had reached his limit before he felt it. Yuri dug his teeth into his shoulder, enough to leave a mark but not enough to hurt, in one last desperate attempt at quieting his cries. One moan managed to squeak out of him though as he let go of the skin, legs clamping down hard around the silver legend's waist, fingernails raking across the man's back. Viktor couldn't help but gasp a little as he felt it all himself, looking down longingly at his lover as he felt the man's whole body starting to tremble under him.
Yuri was panting heavily by then, one eye clenched shut against the convulsing pulses of pleasure still coursing through him, fingers still around him, though looser by then.
The Russian only finally let go as he slowly descended to the man's chest, pressing in over him and kissing at his neck. Hands went under the younger man's back and shoulders to pull him closer, feeling where legs and arms were still twitching where they came out from under him, kissing him all the while. Viktor let his partner catch his breath for a little while before pushing back up onto his hands, looking down fondly as he felt his partner's palms roaming over his chest lightly.
"N-nothing for...you...this time?" Yuri wondered quietly, one hand going up past the man's neck to touch his cheek.
The Russian reached up to join his hand to his husband's and gave it a gentle squeeze, "All I wanted was for you to feel better. I didn't need anything for myself to achieve that, I hope." He turned his face to kiss Yuri's palm, then turned the hand to kiss the ring there as well, "Besides, if tomorrow night is a slumber party...I need to do everything I can for you before I lose the chance."
"...I can't promise that...I'll be as openly affectionate as I want to be...but I'll try..." Yuri said reluctantly, still trying to catch his break a bit, brow furrowing a little with worry, "I...can't lie that your father doesn't scare me...or that I trust him."
"...I know." Viktor nodded, kissing his partner's palm again before lowering that hand down to his chest, "I don't blame you."
"Will you...will you warn me next time something like this is...going to happen...?"
Blue eyes blinked a little, "Would you really want me to? You were already nervous enough when I said I was going back to my hometown, and that's when I had every intention of avoiding my father..."
"...I do."
Viktor was a little surprised, "...Really? But why...? You'll give yourself stomach ulcers worrying so much."
The younger skater shook his head, "I want to know when you're in trouble." He explained, finally having enough wind back in him to speak somewhat normally, "I want to know when you need help, or even just if you're in a situation where you're not sure what to do. I may not be able to do anything in every situation...but it's like I've told you before... I'd rather know what I'm worrying about, than make something up in my own head and worry about that instead. Not knowing when you're hurting, or why, is killing me. You hide it really well sometimes...or maybe I'm just too thick to pick up on it..."
"You're not." The silver Russian sighed quietly, lowering his head, "To tell the truth...I'm...really scared right now, about everything. I just go out of my way to try and keep that stuff to myself, because I tell myself that it's for the best to keep everyone else in the dark. I managed well enough for the last 20 years that I couldn't even remember what I used to be so upset about. But now, it's all coming back to me...and the more I try to deal with it my own way, the more it hurts everyone else, especially you... I don't want to do that anymore..."
Yuri watched him carefully.
"I said before that we had a lot of things to talk about..." Viktor went on, his eyes going to the side a bit to avoid the ones looking up at him, "And it's a hard story for me to tell, because you weren't there back then... Plus..."
"...Plus...?"
The Russian sat back on his knees, offering one hand to let Yuri pull himself up to sitting as well, unwrapping his legs from their place around his partner's waist, "...I've been so envious of your past...I didn't want to spoil it with mine."
"What happened back then is done and over with. You're the man I fell in love with because of it, not in spite of it." The younger figure explained, keeping hold of where he'd held to the skater's hand between them, "We're all dyed in the colors of our upbringing. I used to think I knew so much about you, because of how much I read from the Junior ISU books. I knew your favorite color, movie, song, food...I knew that you hated getting up early because you'd rather stay up late. I knew that you liked practicing alone because no one would know what your programs would be if no one saw you figuring them out during the day. I knew your birthday, your horoscope...I thought I knew it all. But I...really never knew anything at all." He shook his head and huffed an incredulous laugh to himself, "I didn't even know your dogs had changed until we were already married. You were always so open with your superficial self...I guess I never noticed how I hadn't a clue about your private self. I must've filled in the blanks with examples from my own story, and never really questioned how I didn't actually know the truth. Why would any other skater's past be different from mine anyway? It seemed so obvious..."
Viktor looked down at where Yuri was still holding firmly to his hand, but then shook his head and started to move around. He shifted his weight along the edge of the bed until he was sitting against the padded headboard, and pulled his husband back to join him there, Yuri's shoulder wedged under his arm as he set that black-haired head against his pale chest. He raised up his right hand to stroke those raven-dark tufts, breathing in the smell of him as he collected his thoughts, "...I never told anyone about where I came from or what I'd been through. I didn't want anyone to tell me that the only reason I was any good was because Yakov played favorites with me out of pity. I wanted them all to take me at face value, and see me for who I presented to them, not for who I used to be. I wanted to be a hero, not a victim."
"...What about..." Yuri started, then hesitating.
"What about...?" Viktor echoed, stroking dark hair again.
"...Sophia...?"
"No. Not even her. She probably knew less about me than you did, even at the end. I mean, she knew of me, but she wasn't exactly my biggest fan or anything. I was just some idiot Russian skater who started hitting on her one day and wouldn't leave her alone." The silver skater pressed his cheek to the dark fluff, "Yakov was the only one who ever knew anything about me, and I asked him never to tell anyone anything either. He got really nervous about how things would turn out when Uncle Mimi showed up, especially when the ISU media mobbed him at Worlds."
"...I remember."
"People were really starting to dig into me after that. Fans online were taking pictures like the bloody paparazzi, trying to figure out who all these new people were that I was running into, especially after I'd been hit. Everyone got so worked up about the fact that I'd gotten hurt that they went pretty far out of their way to discredit the excuse I made, and then make up their own stories to explain my injuries. Someone had even gotten pictures of my father when him and Mimi first showed up at the St. Petersburg Skate Club. I can only wonder how it'll get when people realize they're both here, with me, for NHK." He turned his face and kissed the top of his husband's head, holding there for a moment before pulling up again, "...I told you that I took pictures while I was in Russia, featuring the hollowed out ruins of my childhood. It...it wouldn't be the same as I remember it, but it should be enough to give you some kind of scaffolding for the general idea of things."
Yuri glanced up at the man, feeling a little nervous, "...So you're going to tell me?"
Viktor nodded hesitantly, "I'm going to try."