Chapter 5- Parenting 101
"Whoa! This place is so awesome!" Sam cheered as he looked around Tony's house.
Kurt had sorted all of the necessary arrangements, including asking Sam what his favourite food was. When Sam had replied with pizza, Kurt had made it his mission to try and find a pizza that he himself was going to love. He hadn't really had it too much, his mother being a stickler for nutrition. He had tried it a few more times whilst living with Tony, but it was time he truly gave it a go. Like other normal kid things, Kurt had to adapt.
He wasn't going to talk about Ulysses, or his desire to go the opera. He was going to talk about action figures and the kids at Lima Elementary and other things that ten year olds talked about.
His birthday morning was a quiet affair as he had requested.
Kurt had woken up prior to his Jarvis alarm sounding shrilly in his head. The AI had wished him a very happy birthday as he requested the doors be opened so he could go downstairs for breakfast. Jarvis had been stalwart in his stalling tactics but Kurt could see right through him. It was clear that Uncle Tony had planned something and wasn't ready for Kurt to see it yet. He had set an alarm for a reason, after all.
Once Kurt was allowed downstairs, he noticed that Uncle Tony had planned a big breakfast spread, the works really. Kurt was also pleasantly surprised to note the sizable pile of presents in the corner. Tony had allowed him to eat as much as he could but turning to the gifts.
As Kurt opened gift after gift, mostly books and other academic things, Kurt was never one for traditional toys save for the occasional Sailor Moon action figure. He had received a new dance uniform from Natasha, one that Tony explained had been personally tailored for him from her ballet contacts in Russia. Kurt was thrilled and had Uncle Tony text her his gratitude before he saw her later that day. Captain Rogers had gotten him a calligraphy set, something he was surprised the man knew he wanted. He tried to keep the smile and the blush from his face, but Uncle Tony saw right through him as usual.
He had also received several books on meditation and relaxation techniques and how to apply them from Dr Banner. Kurt was looking forward to poring over them and finding out how to escape the constant barrage of thoughts that swirled around his brain at a rapid pace.
Kurt unwrapped a stunning silver bow and accompanying arrows from someone called 'Clint' who Kurt was yet to meet. Tony had been shocked when Natasha had delivered Clint's gift and he had guessed that she had put him up it. The man was to be in attendance at Kurt's gathering later that day, so it would be interesting to see how Kurt reacted to him.
Fury had sent along a gift basket of various sweets and chocolates, something Tony urged Kurt to dip into otherwise Thor would. Kurt had initially been reticent to accept it, given his lack of proclivity for sweet stuff and the damage it could do to his body. Tony had reminded him that he was best to explore that stuff now before his body settled into a long routine.
Kurt was in better spirits about his birthday than Tony had seen since he was put in Tony's care. He reckoned a lot of that good feeling had to do with Sam's imminent arrival. Kurt making a friend his own age of his own accord had done wonders for his growth. He was developing as a child as well as the pseudo-adult he had unwittingly become. Tony was excited to see how this was going to change his mind-set, being around someone his own age for a prolonged period of time.
By the time the party ("Get together!" Kurt had scolded) rolled around, Kurt's excitement had peaked.
When the first knock on the door sounded, Kurt jumped and ran to answer it. Looking through the camera, he saw Natasha's face on the other side. Only slightly disappointed, Kurt allowed her inside.
"Happy birthday, Kurt," Natasha greeted, hugging the kid firmly.
"Thank you. I love the dance clothes. How did you know my size?"
Natasha shrugged. "It wasn't me. I showed my contacts a picture of you and they just knew. They have a gift."
"Well, thank you all the same. I hope you won't be too bored here, I'm not sure it's going to be much fun for you."
Natasha smiled kindly. "Well, I'm not here for me. I'm here for you."
Natasha rather thought that Kurt hadn't heard anything like that from anyone who wasn't related to him for a long time, if at all, from the way his face lit up at the words. She was glad that she could make him feel like that, but felt sad that such a simple comment could invoke such a profound reaction in the boy. She chalked it down to his youth, emotions ran so high even before puberty began. Everything seemed like the biggest deal in the world when you were a kid, even with Natasha's upbringing.
"You are?" Kurt's eyes shone as he looked up at her.
Natasha just nodded, suddenly overcome with emotion. This little boy, because that was what he really was, had been through so much in such a short space of time and had set an expectation for himself to be okay. When all he really wanted was just companionship and a peaceful life. And the Universe was giving him the exact opposite as it kept taking and taking and taking everything close to him.
She was worried about the upcoming Avengers missions. She would work to protect Tony from harm even more than she usually would. Because now he had a nephew to come home to, one that depended on him walking through the door at the end of the day.
Kurt was wrapped up in talking to Natasha, he hadn't noticed the man behind her. He stepped behind Uncle Tony cautiously.
Tony smiled. "Hey, it's okay, Kurt. This is Clint Barton, he's the one who got you the bow and arrows. Social workers everywhere are frowning at him for that."
Clint smirked as he stepped properly into the threshold. "Hey, I started younger than him."
"Doesn't count if it's the circus, Clint," Natasha reminded him and he nodded, defeated.
"You got nothing to be scared of with me, Kurt. I'm the weakest one of your uncle's friends," Clint joked jovially.
"It's true," Tony added helpfully.
Kurt revealed himself at last, stepping forward and stretching out his hand. "I'm Kurt Hummel. Thank you for the bow, it's lovely."
Clint shook the hand and marvelled at this kid's precocious wisdom. "You're very welcome. I believe that every kid should have a bow, it teaches patience and discipline."
Natasha snorted. "You were so just trying to win brownie points."
Clint shrugged. "Worked, didn't it?" He winked at Kurt, who giggled.
"That depends whether you'll teach me how to use it or not."
Clint rubbed the back of his head. "Gee, I don't know. I'm worried that getting lessons from the best archer in the world might throw off your training."
Kurt blinked statically. "You're a dork, Mr. Barton."
Natasha cracked up and Tony watched as Kurt scurried away, Clint following helplessly.
They watched as Kurt retrieved the bow and Clint talked him through the safety precautions before he was even allowed to touch the object. Kurt listened patiently and even added some new precautions himself. Tony had rolled his eyes at that one.
Steve, Nick, Bruce, Thor, and Maria had shown up while Kurt was talking to Clint and he had been so enraptured by the archery preparation that he hadn't noticed them. They all left a gift on the counter for when he was ready, though.
Every so often, Kurt would look up from his position at the door, as if by looking, Sam would appear.
When there was a knock at the door, Kurt did a quick scan around the room, wondering if he was expecting anybody else. Realising everyone was assembled, he raced to the door and stared up at the camera.
Sam and his parents stood on the other side. Sam waved into the camera. Kurt pushed the button and the door slid open.
"Hi, Kurt! Happy birthday!" Sam stepped into the house immediately, eyes widening as Tony approached the entrance.
"Hey, kid, how's it going?" Tony greeted.
Sam gaped. "Uh, it's going good, Mr. Stark, sir."
"That's Tony to you, Sam."
Sam nodded, turning to Kurt with an excited expression. Kurt gestured for Sam to follow him into the house so he could meet the others.
Tony laughed at the kid's antics, wondering if he should surprise him by walking in wearing the suit. That would make Kurt the coolest kid in the world, for sure.
Tony turned to address Dwight and Mary Evans, who watched their son with unveiled amusement.
"Thanks for letting him come."
Mary smiled. "When we heard he was invited to his best friend's house for his birthday, how could we say no? Here's a little something for Kurt."
Dwight passed Tony a small box.
"Thank you, both." Tony fished in his pocket and pulled out a card. "Here's my personal number in case you need to reach me while Sam's here or for anything else, really. I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot of each other."
Dwight chuckled. "Sam had his shoes on ready to go about five hours ago. He's pretty much been talking non-stop about all the fun he's going to have today."
"Kurt's too easily embarrassed to show that much excitement, but he's been watching the door like a boiling pot for about two hours now, disappointed every time it wasn't Sam on the other side of it. I have a feeling they're going to be great friends."
Mary nodded. "I hope so. Sam doesn't know anybody here just yet, it's nice that he's made a friend so quickly."
"Kurt doesn't have many friends, either. I think Sam is going to be good for him. He's so eager to grow up and connect with adults that he's forgetting that he's allowed to be a kid for a while."
"He seems like a lovely little boy. I'd love to have him over for dinner sometime. You too, if you'd like?"
Tony nodded, smiling. "I'll look forward to it."
Dwight spotted Sam on the other side of the room. "Well, we'd better be going. We'll pick Sam up at eight thirty?"
"Sounds good."
Dwight and Mary left the front step and drove away.
Tony turned around to scenes of absolute chaos.
He only briefly had time to react as an arrow flew past Sam's head, missing his ear by two inches and go sailing into the wall.
He was ready to scold Clint until he realised that Kurt was holding the bow, stretched out towards Sam.
The room stopped as Tony surveyed the scene. He walked over calmly, pulled the arrow from the wall. He handed it back to Kurt with a glance that said "we'll talk later". Kurt just nodded nervously, understanding the expression, as Sam approached unsteadily.
"Are you going to get in trouble?" Sam whispered as Tony walked away to talk to Bruce.
Kurt nodded indifferently. "Probably. It'll be more about keeping us safe than us actually doing anything wrong, though."
Sam blinked, an idea striking. "I could just tell him it was my idea. Adults never get mad at their kid's friends."
"I can't ask you to do that."
"You didn't ask, I offered."
"Still, I have to face my punishment. I chose to shoot the arrow."
Clint chose that moment to creep over, crouching down. "Boys, you gotta be careful. Did you not teach Sam the rules before playing, Kurt?"
Kurt looked stoically guilty. It was a clear 'no' on his part.
"I'm sorry," Sam piped up. "I should have known not to be in the way."
Kurt looked aghast. "Sam, it's not your fault at all! I should have been looking properly. Now I've ruined the party."
Clint shook his head. "Your uncle's just protective of you, Kurt. You know that. And if anything happened to Sam, he'd have to explain to Sam's parents."
Sam looked tearful. "We won't play with the bow again."
"Hey, I never said that, you just gotta be careful. Archery can be so much fun, but it's also highly dangerous. I still cause accidents after doing it for all these years."
"You do?"
"You bet. Adults aren't as responsible as Captain Rogers makes us seem," Clint chuckled, glad the kids were feeling more at ease with themselves.
Kurt decided to mingle anywhere that Uncle Tony wasn't, feeling too guilty and embarrassed to talk to him at this moment in time. He chatted with Bruce about the books he got and coming back for his second session. He introduced himself to Thor, whom he couldn't stop blushing around. He introduced himself to Maria Hill, who promised to tell him wild stories about his uncle when he was old enough to hear them.
He spoke to Steve, admiring his leather jacket and asking him about the twentieth century. He spoke with Nick Fury very briefly, still irked by the man.
Eventually, the night wound down.
Sam had left, Kurt promising to report his punishment and wondering when the two were going to see each other again.
Everybody filtered out until just Kurt and Tony were left.
Tony expected Kurt to try to sneak upstairs, but that was just what he would have done when he was younger and in trouble.
Kurt stood in the middle of the room, hands behind his back, head bowed.
Tony perched on the arm of a chair and sighed. "You're not in trouble, Kurt."
Kurt looked up, shocked. "I'm not?"
"Nope."
"But I should be."
Tony shrugged. "Probably. Chances are I'm being too soft on you, but this was the first time I've seen you actually enjoy yourself since you came here. You're being a kid, Kurt, and that's so wonderful. Although we are going to talk about being safe around the house."
Kurt nodded. "It was reckless of me."
"It was. I don't want to insult your intelligence, but that bow is a weapon, Kurt. It can be used to hurt people, accidentally or on purpose."
"I would never—!"
"I know," Tony interrupted, holding his hands up. "I know you wouldn't. But you're aware enough to know how dangerous it can be when you're not fully in control. You probably shouldn't have even loaded that bow just yet. I know Clint spoke to you about safety, but it takes time to learn how to do something like that."
"I won't do it again."
"I know you won't, that's why I'm not punishing you. Look Kurt, kids make mistakes all the time. You ask Sam how many times he's been punished for doing something wrong and almost hurting himself or someone else. As long as you know how irresponsible you were being and learned a lesson from this, I don't see why you should be punished."
Kurt nodded. "Thank you. I have learned a lesson. Sam and I will be careful. We agreed that next time we saw each other that we'd just watch movies or something, that can be fun too."
"Yes it can. And Sam's a good kid."
"He's my best friend," Kurt said, the words still sounding foreign to him.
"And that can be the most special bond in the world."
"Do you have a best friend?"
The question stumped Tony, when he thought about it. He would've said Rhodey, but those two hadn't been on speaking terms for a while now. Nothing had happened, they just hadn't spoken. He made a note to call him the following day.
"I guess I have a few very close friends. Nat, Clint, Steve, Bruce, and Thor are all very dear to me. I wouldn't say I had a best friend, though."
Tony stood up and kissed the top of Kurt's head. "Happy birthday, Kurt."
"Thanks, Uncle Tony. For everything. I had a great party."
Tony smiled at the use of the latter word as Kurt headed upstairs for the night.
He sighed. Being a parent was hard work.
And it would only get harder once the aliens arrived.