After almost a year of officially dating, and too-good-to-be-true uninterrupted bliss, Caroline now found herself chasing Bonnie- in very expensive shoes she might add- through a smelly, muddy bog on what had to be the most humid night in Virginia's long history.
"Bonnie, wait! Would you just listen for one second?"
"Listen to you? I heard you loud and clear."
"You're really going to make me run in heels? These are new!" Caroline swiped at some already drying mud that had attached itself to the once pristine, pink tips.
"Oh please, you have three more at home just like them. And no one is making you chase me. It's your choice. You do know that word, right? Free will? Ever heard of it?"
"You're overreacting."
Bonnie came to an abrupt halt causing Caroline to run right into her. Bonnie was small in stature, but fierce when she was angry. Caroline couldn't help herself as she took a step back from the crazed creature that stood in the same spot that Bonnie had been standing seconds before.
"ME. I'm overreacting? That's rich coming from you."
"Okay, I don't even know what that means, but I don't appreciate your tone."
"Screw you, Caroline. That's what it means." Bonnie poked Caroline to emphasize her point.
"Screw me? Ha! What an ironic thing to say, considering you haven't even touched me in weeks!"
"Oh. I'm sorry. Have I not made myself available enough to you during my time of grieving?"
"Oh my God, do you hear yourself? Grieving? You sound insane!"
"Nice! Insult me for showing emotions, AND using offensive and outdated terminology for mental health. You're a real champion of women. No wonder they keep asking you to spearhead Miss Mystic Falls!"
The calm that Caroline had managed to keep collected rushed out of her in one sentence.
"Do NOT bring Miss Mystic Falls into this!"
"Why not? You bring it into everything else!"
Caroline did that scoff and hair flip combo that she always did when she couldn't dispute what was being said because she knew it was true. It was how Bonnie always knew she'd gotten her.
"You're upset and you're saying hurtful things."
"I'm upset because you made me upset!"
"You're going to be the death of me, woman."
"I can't believe you just said that." Bonnie looked truly offended.
"This is crazy, Bonnie. This is going nowhere."
"Easy for you to say. You're still young!"
"So are you!"
"You're not allowed to say that to me!"
"Well, it doesn't really seem like I'm allowed to say anything right now."
"You don't get it. And you couldn't. I know I'm being unfair. You don't think I know that? I can see myself behaving this way, like I'm watching this caricature version who looks like me and talks like me, overreact and say outrageous things that I would never say, but there's nothing I can do to stop her. She has no filter!"
"Okay, okay. Look at me. Take a deep breath."
Caroline grabbed Bonnie by the arms and started breathing slowly.
"Match my breath."
"I'm not having a baby, Caroline."
"Just do it."
She rolled her eyes, but she complied. They stood together just breathing for what felt like hours.
"This isn't helping."
"Your pulse has slowed down."
"Yeah. Well. That's a coincidence, it has nothing to do with you."
"Oh okay. Whatever you say."
"Don't patronize me."
"I would never."
"I hate you."
Of course, Caroline knew she had nothing but affection for her.
"I know."
A few more silent moments passed.
"Why won't you do it?"
"I can't."
It suddenly dawned on Bonnie what was stopping Caroline from giving her the one thing that would make her truly happy.
"It could potentially kill her."
Bonnie understood, but she was saddened because she realized this was not something that was simply a sticking point that she could talk Caroline into changing her mind over. This was a non-negotiable and Bonnie felt defeated.
"What?"
"If he linked us correctly, it should. It would. It would kill her."
"What are you talking about? I swear to god this conversation has had more plot twists than the last season of Days of Our Lives."
"You're really not following?"
"Apparently not."
"Elena."
"Elena?" Caroline's teasing tone, now gone.
"What I'm asking you to do could kill her. Permanently, I mean."
Finally realizing what Bonnie meant, Caroline's tone became gentler. How could Bonnie think that she would ever choose Elena- anyone- over her?
"I don't care about Elena, Bonnie."
"How could you even say that?"
"I mean, of course I care about her. She was our best friend and I loved- love- her, but my god, she's been gone for almost ten years and I've made peace with that. And the more time that goes by the more I don't- I can't- care about the past. It's just, it seems so far away and all I see is the future. Maybe it's wrong to say out loud, to even think it, but if it hadn't happened the way that it did, we- you and me, kiddo- we wouldn't have gotten this chance. We can pretend all day long that it eventually would've happened, sure, but I don't believe that. I mean, for someone so small, she took up all the space. And I don't mean to sound cruel, but- I would choose you over and over again, Bonnie."
Caroline took Bonnie's face between her hands and looked her straight in the eyes. A fierceness burning in them desperately trying to make Bonnie understand somehow the feelings that Caroline couldn't seem to find the words for.
"So- so, you're not worried turning me would, you know…?"
Caroline nodded her head no and Bonnie instantly felt ashamed at the relief that flooded her body. Finally, she met Caroline's eyes. The vulnerability in her own being licked by the flames in the pair staring back at her.
"I've had similar thoughts, but was too ashamed to assign them words."
"Great. So, I'm a bitch. Again."
"I didn't say that." Bonnie couldn't help but laugh.
"It's there in your eyes. You totally think I'm a bitch."
"You're ridiculous. I'm saying that I agree with you. So- if you're a bitch, then I'm a bitch."
"You are definitely one."
"Hey!" Bonnie swatted at Caroline's shoulder. Her fingertips landing in her soft, blonde curls that rested there. Distracted, her gaze moved to them, feeling their silkiness between her fingertips.
"You made me ruin my shoes." And the moment passed.
"Stop trying to change the subject."
"Fine. But you still owe me a new pair of shoes."
Remembering why she was mad in the first place, Bonnie retook her mighty stance and let the blonde strand fall back onto the shoulder of the person it belonged to.
"So, if it's not about Elena, then what's stopping you? What are you so scared of?"
"Why do you want this so badly?"
"Honestly, if it's not obvious to you, then we're wasting each other's time."
"You're making my head spin! You've been jumping to conclusions- and down my throat I might add- all night. And each time, you've been woefully incorrect and yes, a little bit rude."
"Why won't you turn me, Caroline? Don't you want to spend forever with me?"
"Bonnie-"
"Oh God. I didn't mean that to sound like a proposal. That sounded like a proposal didn't it?"
"Bonnie-"
"And now I've gone and ruined everything haven't I?"
"Bonnie-"
"I'm such an idiot."
"BONNIE!"
"What?"
"You- you don't want this life."
"I want to be with you."
"I know you do. And I want to be with you. If we didn't want the same thing we wouldn't be having a shouting match in a graveyard in this freezing cold weather. And I wouldn't be-
"Do not mention your shoes again."
"I was going to say that my hair wouldn't be frizzing in this drizzle. Look, Bonnie, you wouldn't be a witch anymore. You wouldn't be able to die, and I know that sounds shiny and wonderful, but living forever is a death sentence."
"That doesn't even make any sense."
"To you, it doesn't. But trust me when I say, that even though you technically will live forever, the moment your heart stops pumping your beautifully human blood, a part of you dies. Some of the best parts."
"That didn't happen to you."
"It's different."
"How!?"
"It just is!"
"I don't care. I want to do it."
"I won't."
"Please, Care."
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because you wouldn't be you!"
And there it was. The truth that Bonnie hadn't even thought to be afraid of lingering between them like a foggy day. Pressing down on Bonnie's chest making it difficult to draw in breath.
"I see. You don't want to turn me because you're scared that I won't be me anymore."
"And why is that such an awful thing?"
"I thought maybe you were trying to protect me. But that doesn't make sense because that's my job. Right? I'm the one who always gives everything she has to protect the ones she loves?"
"Do not be a martyr. Not with me."
"I can't believe those words just came out of your mouth."
Before she knew it, Bonnie was running. She didn't know where. She didn't know how far she'd gone or even if this was really happening because in that moment nothing felt real. But she did know Caroline was faster than her and even though she was trailing behind her currently, Bonnie knew it was on purpose to give her some space. The illusion that she was winning. Either three, twenty, or forty-five minutes had passed when Bonnie's lungs couldn't take anymore. She gave in to the sharp pains stabbing her in the sides and flung herself onto the wet grass that was located in a field she wasn't sure how she even got to. Caroline was standing over her within seconds. Her breath calm and not a sweat broken.
"Of course I want to protect you, Bonnie, you mean everything to me." She was so close that her hot breath made the hairs on the back of Bonnie's neck stand on end. A feeling she would choose to ignore in this moment.
"But you're worried that I'll be strong. Maybe stronger than you. Maybe I'll be better at being a vampire than you. You're so competitive, Caroline."
"You know that's not how I feel. I mean- not with you anyway."
"You like me being vulnerable, don't you? You're always playing hero."
"Where is this coming from?"
"You!"
"Me?"
"Yes, you! You brought me out to that amazing place tonight and it was beautiful and perfect and I resent you for it."
"I'm sorry?"
"I turned thirty today, Caroline! THIRTY"
"Yeah, I know. Who do you think went to five different stores this week to find enough purple candles because it's your favorite color?"
"I didn't ask you to do that."
"I know! I was being nice because I love you, goddammit!"
"What?"
"I said I was being nice."
"Right after that."
It was the first time she'd seen Caroline squirm in a long time and she liked it.
"Goddammit?"
"Caroline."
"Oh please, don't act like you're so surprised. I let you use my Dior bath beads for christ sake."
"Okay, that was because we were having sex in the bath together and YOU wanted to use them." Bonnie said in a barely audible small whisper.
"Why are you whispering? We're in the middle of a cow pasture at one o'clock in the morning. Whose pasture is this anyway?"
"Focus Caroline."
"What do you want me to say, Bonnie? That I'm head over heels, Bridget Jones and Mr. Darcy, Lorelei and Luke, Patrick and David, Jack and Rose, Alex and Piper-"
"Okay, now you're just naming famous couples and-"
Caroline captured the rest of Bonnie's sentence with a frustrated kiss that sent flames and icy daggers alike all the way down to the tips of Bonnie's toes. It made her so dizzy she wasn't sure if she was even standing anymore. She broke away to see that she wasn't because at some point she had wrapped her legs around Caroline's waist and they had found a fence post to stand against. Caroline was looking at her and pleading without words.
"You know perfectly well that I am madly and deliriously in love with you."
"Even though I'm old and with every passing second that you don't turn me I am aging still?"
"Your age is one of my favorite things about you." Caroline placed a quick kiss on Bonnie's temple.
"You won't say that when I'm wrinkled and gray." There was no humour in Bonnie's tone.
"You're really worried about this aren't you?"
"Am I worried that the woman I love will wake up one day and not want me anymore? Of course I am."
"You said you love me."
TO BE CONTINUED NEXT WEEK