With the Wabbajack in hand, I head outside the city gates. "Perhaps we should find a random stranger to test it on," Sheogorath says in his usual chipper tone. "The Wabbajack thirsts for chaos. As do I." I carry on towards Morthal. Perhaps I'll find a spider to zap.
I spy a small pack of wolves on the way. Wabbajack ready, I fire at one of them. A faint red orb is shot at it and when it hits, a fiery explosion kills it and the other two wolves.
"Holy shit," I mutter, wide-eyed. Sheogorath just harrumphs. "What? Your own Wubbajack doesn't impress you?"
"Wabbajack, Ashlynn," Sheogorath says. "Wab-ba-jack."
"Whatever." I just shrug and venture into the swampland of Morthal. There's a mage fighting a couple bandits...no, scratch that. A necromancer fighting one bandit.
"Hmmm..." I point the Wabbajack at the necromancer. The faint red orb hits and... they transform into a mudcrab. The bandit attacked the mudcrab, laughing about how this is going to be too easy now. Another red orb from the Wabbajack hits the bandit and he turns into a chicken. The mudcrab changes back in to the necromancer, who is furious. I back way behind a tree.
"Oh, fuck!" I yell as I stumble backwards into the swamp water. The necromancer finds me.
"You're first death will be quick!" they yell angrily. I smile at them as I shoot them with the Wabbajack once more and they burst into a fountain of coins. I pocket a handful of the gold and flee deeper into the swamp.
"What is this thing?" I ask aloud, my eyes scanning over the Wabbajack with a great feeling of elation.
"It's the Wabbajack, Ashlynn," Sheogorath answers. "Aside from my own staff of office, it's my favorite. I'm also rather fond of Forky."
"I can see why you like it so much," I say with a slow-growing smile.
"It is pretty amazing, isn't it?" Sheogorath says. I can almost see his crafty grin in those words.
I answer by continuing to look for new targets. "Bingo," I murmur with a mischievous smile as I catch sight of a lone frostbite spider. An orb from the Wabbajack hits it and it stiffens as a paralyze spell sets in. I pull my dagger out and approach it. I grin widely as I sever a few limbs from its body. The paralysis spell has worn off and the spider tries to swipe at me with one of its remaining legs. It makes a sound like it's in pain as I laugh slicing it off. My laughter grows in intensity as I cut off another of the spider's limbs.
The spider continues in vain to fight back with its one remaining limb. "It looks like you're on your last leg there," I laugh through my manic grin. "But don't worry," I pull the Wabbajack back out and say, "this won't hurt me a bit." Another red orb hits the spider and it transforms into a sweetroll. "That reminds me. I haven't had breakfast yet." No sweetroll has ever tasted better.
Wabbajack in hand, I gleefully skip home to the tempo of the song on my MP3 Player: nyan cat.