CHAPTER TWO HUNDRED SIXTEEN
Lights were bright and the audience dark, but Phichit bowed to them all the same, seeing sparkles in the blackness beyond the rink-wall. He was still catching his breath, but he jumped up from his toe-picks in excitement, turning quickly to finally head back to rink-side and let the next skater put on their show. He didn't even stop to talk to Celestino as he went barreling past, simply grabbing his blade-guards and hopping along to put them on, then disappearing through the curtain to the prep area.
"YUURRRIIIII!" He yelled out, having entirely forgotten that the older skater had said he was going somewhere else for a while, "YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURIIIIIIII!" He called again. Hearing nothing, the excitable figure went rummaging in his gear-bag for his phone, snapped a quick post-skate selfie, "Hashtag #NHKGala!" And posted it before pulling up his text messenger tab.
Yuri's phone blinked and buzzed when the words came through. He sat on the bench in the back hallway, skates on the left, Viktor on the right...practically catatonic if not for the phone getting his attention. He twitched as it half-startled him, but reached for it in his coat pocket, and clicked on the screen.
[YURI! I DID IT!]
Phichit squeed excitedly when the 'Delivered' footnote changed to 'Seen' and the jumping-beans on the next line of the window popped up, indicating a reply being typed.
[Did what?]
The excited expression changed to shock and devastation, but the Thai skater was undeterred.
[THE QUAD LOOP]
[I DID THE THING AND I DIDN'T FALL]
[Oh, that's great]
More shock and devastation. Phichit was practically in tears from the lack of enthusiasm.
[I guess that means the Gala is about half done then if you just finished]
Phichit just read the message and glowered, brows up and eyes half-closed as he gave an unimpressed look at his screen. He did the only thing he could...and took a photo of himself again, and sent his nonplussed face to his apparently unimpressed friend.
Yuri just tilted his head at it, thumbs clicking away.
[What?]
[Sorry, we were interrupted. It got really crazy out here.]
The Thai skater's face went red. Images of a supply-closet being opened and a group of people stumbling onto something inappropriate flooded through his mind.
"Who's that?" Viktor wondered, tilting his head a little where he'd leaned it back against the wall.
"Phichit-kun. He landed the Loop. He thinks I'm not excited enough for him." Yuri answered quietly, "My brain is completely gone right now though."
"Mine too."
Both of them sighed heavily, slouching where they sat.
"That entirely didn't go as planned." Yuri finally said, "I feel like I can't believe it."
"What was your plan, exactly?" The Russian questioned, "Or did you even have one?"
The younger figure drew in a breath, but leaned to the side until he felt the man's shoulder come up against his own, "I just wanted your father to apologize for what happened at the funeral. I wanted to tell him what you mean to me, and try to make him see how what he did, didn't just hurt you. It hurt everyone. I was hoping he'd understand it and say he was sorry...but, if he didn't..."
Viktor tilted his head until he could feel his cheek against the mess of raven hair, "If he didn't...?"
Yuri thought for a moment, but then gave a half-shrug, "I guess I was going to unload on him about all the pain he's caused with his selfishness and sense of unaccountability. I was going to kiss you in front of him, and tell him that he caused unspeakable harm to the most beautiful person in the world, and that if your mom was watching, she'd be condemning him for it." He explained quietly, "I remembered how his iron-clad veneer cracked a little when we were all in your home-town for the lawyer thing, and thought...if I could appeal to his feelings for her, maybe he'd see that he was wrong in how he was treating you. I...had no idea it would end up coming back around to Mikhail again."
"Me neither."
They sat for a few seconds in complete silence, hearing the Exhibition going on beyond the walls around them. Viktor drew in a breath, "...I guess it explains why I have so few stand-out memories of my father when I was younger. Uncle Mimi was always around back then...I can hardly think of a time where I did anything without him, at least until he left. He told me about all the things he did when he was younger, tormenting my father like it was some big game...but made it sound like he turned a new leaf when I came into things. The way he put it made it sound like it was all a good thing...that because of me, he stopped being horrible. But the way it came out just now...it's like it only just occurred to him that his affection for me effectively tore my family apart...and all that time, I had no idea what it was doing to them."
"How could he steal you from your father though?" Yuri wondered, "It's not like he physically took you away. He had two chances and he didn't take either."
"I guess it's because of how he put himself around me all the time. He just pushed my father out as a result. I called Konstantin 'Papa' because that's what I was told to do...but it didn't really mean to me what it means to other people. ...Maybe that's why Uncle Mimi nearly ran us off the road when I jokingly called him 'Dad' on the way out there."
"Maybe."
"...If it took him all this time to realize all of it though...I really don't think he meant to alienate anyone. I think he really just wanted to be the 'Cool Uncle.'"
Yuri turned where he sat, curling is right leg under himself as the left went over his partner's thighs, and he set his cheek against the man's shoulder, "Back in Bordeaux, after you flicked Yurio's ear and took off...Mikhail showed me a bunch of pictures he'd dug out of storage, of you when you were really young. There were pictures of Losi, too."
Viktor smiled sadly at that, "All the dogs I've had and lost...I miss them..."
Yuri nodded, "I miss Vik-chan, too." He paused a moment, but then went on, "Anyway...he mentioned the rumor-mill about how people in your home-town started thinking he was your dad, but he said that he'd always rebut them by mentioning your 'Nikiforov eyes.' The way he told it a minute ago though, it's like he never actually tried to argue back at all."
"Peoples' memories get fuzzy after such a long time. If it took him until just now to realize the harm he did, maybe he remembered it all through the lens of his current self, thinking on what he would've done if he was put in that situation again now...and forgot how it really happened. I've done it before. The story I told about that first 'girlfriend' of mine...I remembered it all wrong because I'd never repeat what I did back then. It took a lot for me to recall how and why it really happened."
"...Maybe."
"I feel bad for Uncle Mimi now though..." Viktor said, looking out across the hall, "The look on his face when they left. I don't think he could've faked that. He looked like he'd just been kicked in the gut by a horse."
"I think I'm more surprised at Konstantin though." Yuri said, crossing his arms under himself, "I never even humored the idea that he'd ever be okay with me. I thought I was going to have a heart attack when he put his hand on my head."
"If there's anything I ever knew to be true about him, it's that he was never the kind of person to put on a facade or lie to people about how he feels. He hates being given the run-around by people trying to hide things or be fake." Viktor explained, "So when he put his hand on my back and told me that mom would be proud of me...I knew something big had changed in him. He may never be completely okay with us, but I think...in the same way he finally realizes I'm not just a mini-Mimi, he's also kind of gained a bit of respect for you. That was...just sheer craziness how you took him on like that."
The younger skater drew in a deep breath, but nodded, "...I may not be the bravest person out there...but..." He unwrapped his arms from around himself and put them over his partner's shoulders instead, "...No one gets to mess with our Pair Skates. I didn't stick by you all this time just to get side-lined when we should've been celebrating."
Viktor returned the hug, pulling his partner even closer, "...I should never have done that to you...I don't know what I was thinking..."
"You were just being protective. I don't know that I would've done it any differently if I were in your shoes." The younger figure drew back a little bit and nuzzled an affectionate Eskimo-kiss to his husband's nose, "We need to get back to work though. There's only about 45 minutes left before the end of the Gala."
.
.
.
The second-to-last performance of the Gala was coming to a close; the Ice Dance Silver medalists. They bowed regally to the darkened arena, spotlights shining brightly down on them, and started to make their way over to rink-side.
Viktor was already handing over his blade-guards when they started coming to that end of the rink, and he drew in a deep breath as they passed by, stepping gingerly back onto normal flooring from the ice. He shrugged out of his coat as well, giving that over to Yuri as well, and looking out across the rink like he thought he could somehow see through the black beyond the wall to spot where his father and uncle were sitting. The lights shining down onto the ice went out though, and he turned to wrap his arms around his partner one last time before stepping out onto the cold frost, "I'll see you out there soon." Blades scratched to his movement in the dark, unseen and unheard over the roar of the audience.
"Ladies and Gentlemen...the last performance of the NHK Grand Prix of Figure Skating..." The announcer started, his voice all but drowned out by the erupting cheers and screams, "Grand Prix Finalist, and Men's Singles Gold Medalist...from Russia...Viktor Nikiforov!"
Lights burst to life again, beaming down hotly onto the silver skater standing in the middle of the rink. He practically glowed where he stood, and lifted his head a little just to glance around, feeling his heart pounding in his chest.
...I haven't been this nervous for a performance in a long time...least not for one that I'm not even being scored for...
He drew in one last deep breath...and exhaled slowly, lowering his eyes back to the ice.
['Stand In The Light' - Jordan Smith]
Stand in the light and be seen as we are
Viktor slowly raised his arms, starting when the lyric was half-sung, lifting them high and bringing them back down to center, extending them out to the sides as he pushed off in reverse. His slow mosey around the ice followed the harmony of the cello and violins, moving in a big figure-8 around the rink.
Didn't I tell you I hear what you say?
He moved in a wide arc around the opposite short-end of the rink, making the final loop of the figure-8 and coming back around to center again, arms moving slowly to the story of the song.
Never look back as you're walking away
He twisted into a four-spin twizzle, one hand in front and one behind himself, free leg bent up against the other as he turned. As he set the free skate down again, he leaned into the forward glide, one hand out, then quickly spinning once more to push through.
Carry the music, the memories, and keep them inside you...
Indeed, the memories were there. He could practically see them playing out all around him as he moved across the frost, as though someone had pulled down massive screens and was playing each one like a movie reel right out of his mind. Some memories were good...
Laugh every day
Arriving in Hasetsu, watching Yuri's theme reveal to the JSF, jumping at him after his Cup of China Free Skate, exchanging their rings, even the first time they'd been intimate...
Other memories were less good.
Don't stop those tears from falling down...
Yuri saying they should break things off after the Final, the aftermath of their first meeting with Konstantin, standing on the roof of the Ritz-Carlton and yelling into the night sky of Shanghai, and then leaving Yuri to go back home to Russia...
Viktor pushed through a counter-turn, gliding backwards on his left skate in an arc, pivoting suddenly to turn facing forward, and...
This is who I am inside!
...Threw his right leg as hard has he could to jump into the triple Axel. He pivoted on his landing blade and turned the landing into an outside spread-Eagle before bringing his arms back into play again.
This is who I am, I'm not gonna to hide!
Cuz the greatest risk we'll ever take is by far...
The Russian moved back towards the center of the rink, slowing himself down with a long, wide hydroblade, arms out in front of himself as he slid back in reverse.
To stand in the light and be seen as we are...
He found his blades back in the middle of the NHK logo, twisting into a slow sit-spin, then rising up fluidly into a scratch spin.
To stand in the light and be seen as we are...
On the last word, he clicked a toe-pick into the ice and stopped himself, raising a hand up to gesture at the audience, keeping his eyes low on the ice as it climbed.
The vocals died out again, and the cello returned. Viktor pushed forward this time, arcing and twisting in time with the rise and fall of the music. As the lyrics returned though, he leaned back into an Ina Bauer, sliding diagonally across the longest part of the ice.
With courage and kindness hold onto your faith
Moving out of it, he kicked a leg and swerved tightly, one arm rising overhead, then bringing both out in front of himself before spreading them wide to the sides, blades moving across the ice in a serpentine motion.
You get what you give and it's never too late
The imagery in the skater's mind was vivid then, even as he jumped through a simple stag jump. His arm went forward as though to grab at something in the air...
To reach for the branch, and climb up leaving sadness behind you...
...and he twisted to pull it back gracefully, angling around the short end of the rink. All he saw in his mind though was the graveyard of tanks behind his family home, and how he'd sit on top of one to avoid the world. He remembered the last time he dropped the backpack of antique skating blades into the pilot's hatch, and how they'd been left there for more than 20 years before finding them again. Though that time...Yuri had been there to see them.
Fight hard for love
We can never give enough
He rotated around, crossing one leg over the other until the kick...
This is who I am inside!
Quad Loop, landing into a tight circle, then jumping into a Triple Loop immediately after.
This is who I am, I'm not going to hide!
As he moved out straight from the second landing, he threw his arms out to the side again, looking up into the rafters, turning and pivoting with every other beat of the music.
Cuz the greatest risk we'll ever take is by far...
His lithe frame belted across the ice in a step-sequence, free leg kicking out as his arms arced expressively; both going out and coming in again, waving and arching with each twist and throw of his feet.
To stand in the light and be seen as we are...
One hand went up to reach for one of the four spot-lights following him, slowly pulling down again as he moved a bit faster, eyeing the center of the rink.
To stand in the light and be seen as we are...
He threw himself down onto one knee, sliding swiftly as his whole body rotated, gliding straight across the NHK logo, and as he brought one hand over his down-turned head, the other arced out to the side and slightly behind him.
Viktor pushed back up to his feet, the energy of the song changing, and so too did his rhythm and expression. The grace of the beginning was cast aside for passion and thunder, and he tore across the frosty field with intensity.
Riding the storms that come raging towards us, we dive
The silver Russian glided along the inner perimeter of the short end of the rink, sliding through in a deep cantilever, almost grazing his hair on the ice as he went, rising up again at the other end and pushing immediately into another Ina Bauer.
Holding our breath as we break through the surface
One hand was close to his face, the other way above him...but he came to a slow, gliding stop in the middle of the rink, dragging the right toe-pick behind himself as he laced his fingers together and raised them up in front of himself.
With arms open wide...
He arced his hands until his arms were in a V-shape ahead of himself, and he opened his eyes a little to see the dark shape starting to come towards him from the edge of the rink-wall.
With arms open wide...!
Yuri took his hands and came in close, and the audience went insane to see his unexpected self; his outfit was the twin to the Russian's. The two skaters could practically feel the ice vibrating beneath their blades as they moved, gently touching their brows together before spinning to start skating back.
Even as the cheering crowd continued their happy uproar, a certain pair of slate-blue eyes watched with a more reserved expression. They turned only as the man who bore them heard the sound of his smaller, leaner companion whistling loudly and clapping. The Russian Bear wasn't sure what to think.
[Can he skate even half as well as Viktor?]
[Just watch.] Mikhail answered, grinning almost like a mad-man.
Viktor held his husband's back close to his chest, even kissing the side of the younger man's neck as he started to pick up speed. The shorter skater moved out as the music geared up for the cue, holding Viktor's hand between them until forced to let go for the 3-turn...
This is who I am inside!
They kicked off at the exact same moment for the side-by-side Quad Flip, launching and landing in perfect sync with each other.
This is who I am, I'm not gonna to hide!
They arced and twisted like black and white reflections of each other, gliding across the ice in sublime unity as they came back together again. Viktor slipped his hand down against his partner's back, and Yuri flipped around, the pair of them sliding off facing each other then, right knees next to one another as each of their left skates were out behind them.
Cuz the greatest risk we'll ever take is by far...
The Russian held fast to the younger man's left hand as his right stayed where it was around Yuri's back, then spinning him around to the side again before letting go. They arced and weaved around each other, twizzling and twisting, crossing-over as they glided through the curve of the rink together.
To stand in the light and be seen as we are...
Viktor slid in behind again, hugging his partner's back to his chest with arms tightly around his thin frame, each of their left skates out behind them as they slid forward along the ice, then turning immediately into the pair-assisted camel spin. Their left hands clasped together in front, Viktor's right arm staying around Yuri's waist as Yuri's own free hand went above them as they turned.
They pulled out from it, but kept their clasped hands together. Yuri spun out for a bit of distance, and they switched hands, clasping at each other's right.
To stand in the light and be seen as we are...
Viktor held fast as Yuri started to lean, and he went low into the backward outside Death Spiral, leaning his head far back as his free leg went up above the other. The Russian slowly rotated on his toe-pick, watching carefully.
Oooohhhh...!
As Yuri rose back up to standing, they let go to spin out into formation again, gliding swiftly down the long end of the rink.
Cause the greatest risk we'll ever take is by far...
Viktor quickly stepped through a mohawk turn to change directions and face forward, then reached for his husband again as they slowed. He slipped in behind the younger skater and set his hands on the man's waist; Yuri crossed his legs, left-forward, his right sliding back to follow where the Russian's left went. He held loosely to Viktor's wrists and waited, bending his knees deep for the spring.
To stand in the light and be seen as we are...
Yuri jumped, and Viktor pushed him through, landing the Throw Triple Loop with practiced ease before joining up again.
To stand in the light and be seen as we are...
They reached to each other as they slid out of the maneuver, clasping their hands together again as they spun towards center. Their blades scratched along the outside of the NHK logo in an inside spread-Eagle, each rotation bringing them closer together again.
So stand in the light and be seen as we are.
They paused a moment to look at one another as the lyrics faded out, slowly moving again in loose, serpentine slides. The final notes of the piano echoed quietly overhead, and as Yuri turned back around again to let the Russian guide his final path, he gently set his hands to the sides of the man's face, and felt himself being leaned backward.
The last key played, and they kissed right there in the middle of the rink to the thunderous cheering of the crowd.