Castiel cursed himself as he tumbled around in space. The actual vastness of space. He felt his human form become weightless as he spun around between the unnamed stars.

"Tell me Castiel, what did you expect your afterlife to be?" The harsh words boomed around him, echoing through emptiness and disappearing towards the backdrop of distant galaxies.

Raphael is the size of a white dwarf, and ten times as bright. They're a bundle of wings, shifting and phasing through one another. Iridescent feathers hiding a beak of divine power. And light pulsing steadily like a heart beat.

Raphael is a bird of prey, and Castiel is grasped firmly between their livid claws.

"Did you expect some sort of heaven because you were once a human? Waiting for your precious mud-monkeys to join you?" Raphael spat out that last sentence with disgust.

It's like being trapped inside a ball of holy fire — the heat pressing in on all sides. Castiel would have suffocated if not for the fact that he was already dead.

"Take a moment for self reflection, Castiel," Raphael continued. "After all the things you've done, were you really expecting some sort of happy ever after?"

He winced, but fury soon shook through him. "I've made mistakes, yes, but unlike you - I've done my best to make up for them."

"It's hilarious what you consider as penance. Or perhaps you were only looking for redemption in the eyes of your humans by locking out all the angels and reducing the Host to a shell of its former glory?"

He flinched. That happened long after Raphael's death. How did Raphael even find out about that? Did they somehow find a way to view the living world from the Empty? "I never intended for that to happen," He defended himself.

"Cry your heart out Castiel, It means nothing when you're perfectly fine killing angels again and again. It's been a while for you, but I hope you still remember the bloody war you waged against Heaven."

Castiel narrowed his eyes. He remembered that it took two sides to fight war. "Don't you dare condemn me for that, Raphael, when you, personally killed more angels during that than me." Not to mention, they had never cared about those that fell under their blade before. "Yes, were fighting a war! A war you forced when you tried to make submit to you rather than listening to what we had to say!"

Castiel's words failed to leave a mark on the shimmering sphere of fury. "You accuse me of hypocrisy, but I've always treated all my enemies the same. You however, have killed our brothers when they go against you all the while allowing the Winchesters multiple opportunities to stab you in the back." His claws jabbed into Castiel's back, causing him to grit his teeth in pain. "Again and again and again."

"Of course I would! They're humans. You and the rest of the host forgot, but we had a duty to humanity. We were commanded to serve them. To protect them. To love them!"

Castiel squirmed and struggled to break out. But Raphael didn't even shift their grasp. Theoretically, he should also have some sort of control in these dreams, but even here he was outclassed.

"Love?" They scoffed at him. "Are you claiming your actions were made out of love? Are you even aware of what kind of love you're claiming to have? Killing other angels is love? No, even the rest of humanity rarely benefited your actions, so how could I expect you care about the Host? That 'love' you say you have — I've only ever seen you offer that 'love' to the Winchesters, groveling at their feet. And the 'love' you claim they have, well — " They leaned close to his face. "I can't quite remember you receiving it."

The pain at his back was nothing compared to how Raphael's words just now dug at old wounds and ripped them open. At old longings and regrets. He was running out of air, out of excuses. His poor imitation of a soul was laid bare before the archangel, every action and word he thought was the right choice now used against him in judgment.

He slumped down, tears threating at the corners of his eyes. Raphael's glare pierced through him a thousand times.

"Haven't you gotten tired of it?" They asked after a moment, voice dipping low. "You've been trapped in a never-ending cycle. Each apocalypse you try to stop just starts another one. I should have just waited patiently until you three broke the world in attempting to save each other."

Castiel forced himself to breathe. Or rather, he imitated the movements, and though there was no air here, he didn't need it. Because even before he died, he was an angel and not a human. "I suppose you're right. Half the problems we have we're made because no one wanted to sacrifice anyone for the greater good." Castiel steeled himself. "But that's still better than Heaven acting so far removed from it all."

Once upon a time, Castiel remembered, angels were warriors that stood for something.

Now, Raphael was barely an adversary. They just wasting his time. Right now Castiel could be trying to find a way out. To unravel the mystery of this place and get back to Jack, Sam, and Dean. But instead he was stuck here to someone that seemed content to waste his time. The two of them have fulfilled nothing but shout at each other.

Its strange actually, despite the writhing mass of wrath that was the archangel right now, Raphael only held him without attempting to do worse. Even the talons at his back have not even cut through his coat.

Castiel stared through their intertwined feathers for the multitude of keen eyes watching him. Just now, he saw how tightly their wings were actually wrapping around theirself, twisting and turning. As if Raphael was struggling to hold themself up as well. "But Sam and Dean never gave up on each other, and whatever they did, they did out of love. And I find that far more admirable than the actions you archangels took."

It wasn't just the wild myths of humanity. False depictions in bibles or paintings on church walls. That is, the descriptions written by humans didn't used to be false. The archangels were once truly were the leaders of heaven. They led the other angels like brothers. They were respected. They were revered.

All the angels used to admire their older siblings. They would have followed them to the end, and many did.

"I am tired!" Castiel screamed, a millennium of emotions being held back coming undone. "I watched Michael throw away the words of Father, Gabriel disappeared — he died and you two barely did anything but double down on your actions. And it turns out that he just ran away from it all. And you, Raphael. You just allowed it all to happen. You were the ones to first let the Host degrade."

"Yes they make mistakes," He continued. "Yes they - we've nearly ended the world because of those mistakes, but they acted that way because they believed in each other, in something, they cared. Of course, between them and what heaven had become, I would choose them, every time."

They weren't trying to hurt him, Castiel realized and he shook. He was angry, yes, but just as Raphael had said earlier they were both already dead. Neither of them could kill each other. They could gain nothing by continuing to fight each other. And Raphael would never act in a way that gave them no results.

And yet they still faced each other in opposition.

Or rather, he did. Castiel was the one that started by provoking the other.

He wasn't exactly sure why he kept rambling. Why he was so desperate to explain and make Raphael understand. When both of them had already exhausted all forms of diplomacy. When the other roads they could have taken were already buried by the dust of their dead brethren. They were dead, nothing they did could affect the living.

But the anger emanating from Raphael had truly disappeared, and they seemed to be frozen in time rather than a raging, boiling storm, so maybe - Just maybe - Raphael was considering his words.

"I am sorry for failing heaven, but you did as well."

A silence stretched on between them, as unfathomable as the darkness.

He used to admire Raphael, that bastard.

"And I, at least, haven't given up on fixing my mistakes." He just couldn't help his damn mouth, could he? Well, at least he managed said his piece.

Raphael scoffed. "It's far too late for that…" they finally murmured.

But then slowly, they peeled their talons off him. Castiel closed his eyes and fell

down,

down,

down.