[The name of my OC is Lydia Romanoff and is made up by me.]

"It's so quiet in here." I said in a whisper, trying to match the silence by saying it as quietly as possible.

"Is it because he's dead? Does death leave a silence behind? Is death silent, Schrödinger?"

Looking down at him laying comfortably in my lap with his head while I brushed my fingers through his hair and the fur on his ears, a small giggle left him.

"I like it when you're getting into things like this." he chimed with a toothy grin, the silence in my room, long forgotten. I just continued playing with his hair like nothing was bothering me.

"It's hard to believe that he's gone." I said and another silence occurred.

Schrödinger waited a few moments before he spoke.

"He's still on your mind." he mumbled with his eyes closed. I could almost see the sulky pout on his lips.

"I can't help it. Someone I once spoke to and touched is now gone. It just feels so... unreal." I explained.

Schrödinger shot up from my lap like a thunderbolt and looked at me, his hair messy even though I had tried to tame it with my fingers.

"He's dead now, so it doesn't matter. It's only death."

"I know, but-"

"He's DEAD!" he squealed, not wanting to hear me justify myself.

"I know." I said calmly, putting up my hands in defense at his sudden outburst. He let out a sigh.

"Even though I took his life, you're still nagging about that ginger..." he muttered and stood up clumsily from the bed. He looked at the door, like he was about to take his exit.

"What is it with you?" he asked without looking at me. "I can't figure it out, my abilities are not enough for that. You're not like the others from your organization." he explained, biting his lower lip. "Like... Ann, was it?" he thought out loud, shooting me a playful glare. "And that pretty one..." he added with a large smile.

"Penelope." I stated coldly, and Schrödinger smirked when hearing her name.

"Penelope." he repeated, testing her name on his lips. My chest tightened.

What was this all of the sudden? These dark emotions…

"You're jealous of her." Schrödinger realized teasingly.

"No, I am not." I stood up promptly in protest.

"Oh, but Lydia, you are!" he sang, not at all affected by my disagreement. I only glared at him then. If I continued resisting it, then perhaps my true intention would show, and we wouldn't like that, now would we?

"Why don't you just get rid of her if you see her as that much of a threat?" he asked nonchalantly, looking around the room. A hairbrush caught his attention as he picked it up and started to comb his hair.

"She might be pretty, but she's not smart. It wouldn't be that hard..." he wondered out loud.

"Haven't you caused enough trauma already?" I asked, watching him play around with the hairbrush a bit before putting it back down.

"There you go again. Don't hold back. Say his name a hundred times more. Jack, Jack, Jack." he said with a calm and nonchalant expression on his features.

"You're the one who's talking about Penelope." I said, and it was such a dumb argument.

"Who's still breathing." he answered in a sense that didn't make sense, making me wordless.

I sat up and sighed. He turned his back on me childishly but that didn't stop me from sneaking up behind him and put my arms around him. Embracing him from behind, my head nuzzled in at the hook of his neck as I sniffed his collar.

"You're not as charming as I know you can be sometimes. Can't you just be charming all the time?" I whispered to him. I felt his arms move as he put his gloved hands on top of my bare. "I suppose I could. But what's the fun in that?" he asked.

"You can always try." I assured, and he leaned back in my embrace, almost making me fall backwards on the bed.

"What do I get out of it?" he asked.

That was a good question. Not having anything else to say, I felt bold, saying "Me."

But Schrödinger laughed. He let go of my hands and turned around, with a smirk.

"Meaninglessness." he said, looking me up and down. He stepped towards me, eyes half-lidded in a mocking manner.

"You and I both know that I already have you wrapped around my fingers." he said. "You said you loved me so I can have you whenever I want." he smirked.

"That's not fair. You always think you can do this." I said, looking away from him.

"Do what?" he asked.

"Mess with my mind." I muttered.

He grabbed my face, making me look into his eyes. He kissed the corner of my lips slowly. Pulling away slightly to stare into my eyes.

"That's what I do." he whispered. I shooed away his hands and pushed his chest.

"You're being annoying. Get out of here." I said childishly, not knowing how to deal with his mind games.

He grabbed my upset hands with ease as he held onto my wrists.

"But I don't want that." he argued.

"I DON'T CARE! Get out!" I yelled, his head snapped back.

"Calm down!" he said, raising his own voice.

"NO! YOU BETTER LISTEN TO ME OR ELSE I'LL-"

Fast as lightning, he managed to lead me to the nearest wall and pin my struggling arms above my head.

"You what, Lydia?" he asked calmly, pressing his body against mine.

"I'll..." I panted.

He glanced down at my lips while I tried to come up with something to say. My whole stomach and chest were exposed, since my hands and arms were out of order. I almost had to stand on my tip-toes, and my legs were not quite able to carry my body. I was lucky that the wall was supporting me from behind. I was more than inferior in my current position, but despite that, I dared say,

"I'll hurt you."

Remembering the gun in the drawer of my nightstand, I didn't find my words that ridiculous myself.

Something with his eyes was different. He still held me to the wall and had a firm grip on me, but his expression had changed. Blinking slowly in a thoughtful way, he moved his body even closer to mine; all the buttons and details on his uniform created a contrast to my casual wear that consisted of a pair of pants and a simple sweater. It made me realize our extreme differences.

All I could think about while having my arms pinned and useless was the funny fearful feeling of being tickled to death, but he did no such thing. Because when he neared my face with his untold expression, he simply looked into my eyes.

"What kind of abilities do you have that can compete with mine?" he asked.

"You're not even able to get rid of your human friend, who really means nothing to you, and only exists so you can envy her."

He let out a chuckle.

"You'll hurt me." he repeated in a mutter, shaking his head slowly with a grin.

My joined wrists started struggling in their place, but I could only move my fingers.

He just kept staring at me and I had trouble breathing properly. My feet wanted to stand firmly but it was not possible. My arms wanted to be free again. I didn't want to be pinned to the wall. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to hurt him anymore. Because I was terrified. If he could do what he did to Jack, a high status military soldier, a member of Millennium, then what would become of a mere trainee, a simple human being from Hellsing?

"Are you sure this is her room?"

A sudden voice was heard outside, in the corridor.

"You are the one who said it was, drama queen!"

"Then knock, emo!"

Ann and Pen.

Someone knocked and I could hear Penelope shout my name from the other side of the door.

"Hey sweetie, you in there?"

Schrödinger covered my mouth with his palm and gave me a look that told me to shut up and be quiet. His gloved hand was still covering half of my face, preventing me to speak. He gave me an odd, sly glance as he lowered his head to my chest where he rested his blonde frizz. My heart started beating in a mixture of fear and infatuation.

We stayed like that until they started arguing about where my room was again, and their voices disappeared along with their footsteps.

Schrödinger's hand left my face; as well his head had left my chest, as he backed away from me. He was quick to catch up from where we had left.

"You'll hurt me?" he said, this time more clearly and with no chuckle or mockery in his voice.

My arms fell back down at my sides but I wasn't brave enough to leave the wall. Schrödinger opened up his arms.

"Go on then." he said, and my hands turned into nervous fists at my sides even though Schrödinger's eyes were closed and he was grinning lazily. My own eyes were wide open.

What was I thinking? I couldn't even pluck a hair strand from his body.

Letting my gaze drop from him, I hugged myself as I slowly followed the wall to the floor where I sat down, defeated without even trying. I pulled my knees to my chest as I hide away my face from him and this world I was forced to live in.

"That's what I thought." he said after a great while. He kneeled down in front of me. My eyes shut harder, as if I was trying to conceal him. But he was there. He's always there.

Forcing my chin upwards, he stared ruby daggers into my eyes.

"Next time you get a stupid idea; At least demonstrate the insanity." he said with disappointment in his voice. I swallowed, feeling tears taking form in my eyes.

"Okay." I said quietly, avoiding his eyes.

He put his hand on the side of my face.

"Good girl." he cooed. I exhaled, finally being able to breathe again, even though this resulted in a stressful porridge.

"So..." Schrödinger began, hand disappearing. He sat on his feet, legs bent and sharp elbows resting on top of his thighs.

"Who are you, and where did you come from?" he asked, and I knew exactly what he was doing so I played along with him.

"I'm a mere inmate here, which makes my name unimportant. I have nothing to do with the Hellsing Organization anymore." I said, and he asked, "Do you enjoy it here?" and I answered "I do. The food is great. But I must be careful, because the men can be very dangerous."

Schrödinger smiled at me, satisfied with my answer.

"Do you have any friends?" he asked.

"No." I said.

"What about Jack?" he asked.

"Who?" I asked.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" he asked, making me a bit uncertain. He took off his gloves.

"No."

Schrödinger's naked fingertips touched my cheekbones for the first time.

"Do you envy someone?" he asked and I merely nodded.

"Who's this someone?" he asked.

"Penelope Rhodes." I answered.

"And where's Jack?" He asked, and I said "Dead."

"Is something the matter, miss?"

Miss.

I sat in the back of the class room, yet it felt like I was closer to Schrödinger than any of the people in it. Penelope's brown locks of hair could be seen in the corner of my eyes, but I refused looking at her. She is not worthy a single glance from me.

"Yes." I said without hesitating.

My answer to his question made the tiny group of people turn to look at me questioningly.

Ann. Kevin. Penelope.

The golden trio.

I didn't care. They could stare how much they wanted. Everything that matters to me is the tense connection between me and Schrödinger. Everything else is unnecessary. He sat on the desk in the front, facing all of us. I was the only one he had his eyes on, and I stared right back at him. Schrödinger blinked slowly and a soft grin took form on his lips. It was his way of telling me to open up to him.

"I feel funny. I don't think I'm able to be in here for much longer." I said without looking at anything or anyone but him.

I wasn't talking to one responsible. I wasn't talking to a charge of the group, a supervisor, or an educator, or a guard. I was talking to him and him only.

"Oh no Lydia do you feel ill?" her voice said in a concerned voice.

I do, Penelope.

Not answering her question, my gaze remained glued to Schrödinger's unadorned, amused expression. He had his bare elbows resting on the table surface, and sat upright behind his desk. The small cream-colored tight-fitting gloves clothed his unoccupied hands. His lean boyish legs was crossed, while one of his panty-hosed calves were rocking back and forth, his boot hoist above the floor surface in the air, almost kicking the underside of the table every time. So, has he been seated ever since our lesson began.

He stretched his arms above his head, his red eyes closing for a brief moment and leaned back in his chair. I knew his eyes were closed, so I devoured the sight of his bare wrists, forearm muscles and sharp elbows. He completed my personal one-man show by crossing his told arms over his chest.

"How can I fix this, then?" he asked kindly. There's no need for that. He knew what I wanted. His bouncing boot had stopped.

"I need space." I said.

"I see." he said.

Penelope and Ann exchanged glances. Kevin looked between me and Schrödinger. He also wants to get out of here. Receptionist boy.

"You're all excused, for a short while. I give you one hour." Schrödinger informed generously with a grin.

Chairs whined against the floor and the golden trio moved slowly out into the hallway, one at a time. It looked funny because everyone wore chains. Penelope could not help but shed excessively anxious glances at me with the mascara painted eyelashes. But I remained seated, until the last human being left the room.

Schrödinger watched them leave until the door slammed shut and we were left alone.

"Can you remove these?" I asked, making him look at me.

I showed him my handcuffs. I didn't want to be one of them.

Schrödinger laughed and jumped out from his seat.

"Couldn't you find a better way? So tedious..." he said with a shook of his blond head and walked towards me and stood in front of my desk, grabbing my hands tenderly in his fabric palms. He searched in his breast pocket and fished out a small key and dexterously unlocked my limited existence. He shook his head again and let a strange laugh leave him.

"What is it?" I asked, feeling a curious smile grace my lips.

He continued shaking his head before he answered me, gaze half-lidded.

"This is the only key that I own." he said.

A deep frown was then created on his face, and his touch became hesitant after removing the chains, letting them crackle against the wooden surface of my desk.

"Who put these on you?" he asked, examining the slightly red circles that decorated both of my wrists.

"You did." I reminded, remembering myself how unnecessarily harsh he could be when putting them on sometimes.

"Did I? I'm very sorry." he said and let his thumb stroke over the harmed skin while his head was tilted to the side in an almost adoring manner.

"I tend to forget how fragile humans are." he explained, almost sadly. I looked down at our hands, resembling both of our different beings.

I wonder if he even feels.

"So, now that we got the horses out of the stables..." he smiled, leaving my hands to take the removed handcuffs and connect them to his belt. He looked down at me.

"What's on your mind?" he asked, sitting on my desk, more than willing to listen.

You.

"Nothing." I said softly.

"Ah, don't give me that shit!" he laughed.

My soul temporarily left my body when I heard how harshly he emphasized that last ugly word.

"You obviously asked for this to happen, and now that we're finally left alone, the least you can do is to tell me what's wrong." he said, his legs moving to and fro impatiently.

"Nothing's wrong." I said, once again speaking softly. In all honesty, I didn't know what I wanted.

Schrödinger jumped off the desk and walked towards his own where he turned around to face me. His arms crossed over his chest once again as he leaned back on the furniture, waiting, like he could stand there the whole break for my explanation.

All I ever come up with was "You don't have to stand so far away."

Schrödinger's ears twitched and he put one foot over the other.

"I must. I might harm you." he said plainly. "I find it disturbing that you refuse to share your thoughts with me." he said, tilting his head to the side.

That wasn't the case at all. I felt tears well up in my eyes.

"I hate her so much." I whispered, just realizing that myself at this moment.

"I beg your pardon?" Schrödinger asked.

"Penelope." I answered. "I hate her so much, and I can't bear that you're looking at her." Schrödinger looked down at his chest, examining one of his hands nonchalantly.

"Pity." he said. "Does it really upset you that much?"

"It does!" I raised my voice, standing up. "And you know that!" I told him with tears in my throat.

"Does it..." he left the desk without taking his attention away from his glove. "Does it make you angry?" he asked.

He leaned on a random desk only a few meters away from me.

"Does it make you devastated?" he asked.

"It makes me nothing." I said and made him look up from his hand.

"You understand then…" he explained.

I still stood up in between my chair and desk, not knowing what to do with myself.

Schrödinger looked directly into my eyes.

"You are nothing next to her." he said with a grin on his lips.

Say that again and I will hurt you. I will do everything I can to harm you in this human body. Only the bones in my body, and my flesh and my blood prevents the hatred that you planted in my soul. It might appear in my eyes. You might hear it in my voice. But just wait Schrödinger. I'll make you feel it. I'll make you feel it...

"You're right." I said, realistic thoughts striking me. I sat down again. Slowly.

"Please stop crying. Don't waste your tears on such matters." he said.

I was crying. I was crying without even realizing it myself.

"You're nothing next to her, or anyone else in that matter... Because they are nothing themselves." he said and my chin got tilted up by a firm hand. "Unless we make them turn into corpses, of course."

"If you want her dead so badly; then go ahead." I said, avoiding his touch.

"Is that a demand?" he whispered eagerly. I pulled away from all of him and stood up.

"I would never ask you to do anything for me. You make a mess out of everything." I said and Schrödinger's eyes widened.

"You're completely right." he grumbled."But may I show you more of what I'm capable of." he turned away from me and that's when I clicked.

"Schrödinger, wait!" I yelled after him as he walked firmly towards the exit.

"No, please!" I said, managing to run ahead of him and block his path. He looked at me like I was a little drowned rat.

"Out of my way." he ordered.

"No no! I'm sorry!" I cried. My hands reached out to touch his face.

"I'm sorry." I said pitifully, my voice broken.

I put my hands on his chest limply and looked down at our feet. A silence embraced the two of us. He stood completely still before me, not moving. I slowly took my hands off him.

"I am stupid and pathetic and jealous and... nothing." I muttered, not forgiving myself for crying all the time. My posture failed me and I felt small where I was barely standing in-between the exit and Schrödinger.

"And you're in my way." he added instead of proving me wrong and reassuring me. I removed my gaze from the floor, expecting to be pushed aside so he could continue his road kill. But when I nervously looked into those lethal ruby eyes, he put his arms neatly behind his back, bowed towards me and kissed my lips without taking another step forward.

The only sound that could be heard was the whistling sound from the ventilator in the ceiling. Schrödinger pulled back his face from mine, eyes neutral and lips lightly curved upwards. I wasn't smiling, even though something within me did.

"What was that?" I whispered, mildly confused by his action.

"A commitment." Schrödinger whispered back, arms still hidden behind him.

A sudden seriousness dominated his features.

"I can't deny it further." he stepped back, only to put a firm hand on his chest.

"Starting now, I'll be your guard ultimately. It will be my responsibility to look over you and that will be one of my most important duties, alongside my job as the major's messenger." he said to me without breaking eye contact.

The major's messenger. So that's what he is.

I was staring at him dumbly, unsure of what to respond to such a commitment.

"I... as an inmate, will... accept your guarding?" I said awkwardly. Schrödinger laughed at me and my effortful words.

"You don't have to say anything!" Schrödinger pointed out gently, finding my naivety slightly amusing.

"But what does it mean?" I asked, tilting my head to the side. The feeling of wanting to cry was long forgotten. He took my hands in his.

"It means-" he led my hand down towards his trousers-line. My eyes widened at his shameless behavior. He unbuckled his belt and removed the handcuffs from it, clasping the cold metal around my wrist in a way he was used to doing, and in a way only he could do.

"That you'll never be alone again." he finished.

When the handcuffs were on me again, he yanked the chain to him and hoist it so he could duck underneath it to come in between my arms. He was incredibly close to me, but the string of chains was long enough to leave some space within my automatic embrace.

"Human beings are so fragile after all." he said quietly, not needing to talk so loud since he was so close.

"Like glass." he said, his arms going around my waist. I could feel the intense smell of something I couldn't put my finger on again. "But I won't break you. I'm not able to break you." he mumbled. "It's not in my system."

I smiled feeling his blonde head in the hook of my neck in our long embrace, even though I had my doubts about being unbroken to him. I wanted to tell him that he was capable of breaking my heart at least once a day, and that it couldn't be that hard for him to break me, but I kept my comment to myself in case it would encourage him. He didn't know more or less. His mind wasn't like a human's.

Just like in the circus world, you can train wild animals to do what you want, but you never know when their wild instincts return. This is what I call this place. A flying circus.

"How long is left of this recess?" I asked, afraid that someone might caught us this way, like Zorin had done previously at one of the desks. We managed to escape that time, but how could we possibly explain this?

"Have you already gotten tired of me?" Schrödinger asked without moving an inch.

"You said one hour." I reminded him of the limited time.

"Oh right... How careless of me. That's not enough of time, is it?" he asked and I could feel his head move to a different angle, maybe to look at me. Instead of answering him, I hugged him back awkwardly with my hands still restricted. He stepped forward, backing me into the door that was the only one in the room. One way in and one way out.

Right then and there, someone fiddled with the door, wanting to get in.

"Is it locked?"

"I don't think so..."

Schrödinger's ears perked up at the voices. He could probably hear them ten times better than what I could; I could only hear muffles. Diving out of my embrace, he frowned at the exit with some kind of curiosity in his features. The door opened, revealing Penelope and Ann looking questioningly at the two of us who were standing very close to each other.

"Hey Lydia didn't you want to get out of here?" Ann asked and raised one of her shaved off and sharp painted eyebrows. Penelope glanced at me, and then at Schrödinger for longer than allowable, and that's the size of it. I slammed the door shut and locked it from the inside.

"It has only been 10 minutes." I said through the door.

I turned back to look at Schrödinger, who looked surprised at what I just did.

"So we have 50 minutes to spare." I said in a lower voice, walking towards him.

"And how are you going to spend that time Lydia?" he asked, pulling one of his gloves harder on his hand. Two sharp fangs could be suspected in his smile.

That's when I decided. I'll go anywhere, everywhere and nowhere with him. Even into madness.