Disc: I own nothing. Lyrics, song and inspiration: Music When the Lights Go Out, by The Libertines.

Chapter II: She No Longer Heard the Music.

Is it cruel or kind

Not to speak my mind

And to lie to you

Rather than hurt you

Well, I'll confess all of my sins

After several large gins

But still I'll hide from you

Hide what's inside from you

I no longer hear the music

Sakura glanced at the clock hanging on the white wall of her office at Konoha hospital and discovered with feigned amazement that she had been working there since 11 pm from the day before. At which point 20 and a half hours had passed, no one could tell, much less her. She remembered that the day before around 8 o'clock she had stopped by the office of the new Hokage to leave him the reports of the previous shift, and after a small talk, she had quickly retired to the hospital to fulfil with excellence one of the last orders that Tsunade had imposed before resigning her position: Co running Konoha Central Hospital together with Shizune. And speaking of Shizune, where could she be now? Sakura looked at the clock again and sighed. Surely her Senpai would already be at home resting. She would have retired hours ago after warning her leaving for the day, asking the young nin doctor if she needed anything and recommending that she should rest too. Sakura already knew the routine by heart: she would simply dismiss any question from Shizune by waving her hand in denial, or she would have pretended not to listen to her Senpai and continued working, as usual, that inhuman amount of overtime. Shizune would have just sighed and after one last tired look, would leave the medical facilities until the next day, leaving Sakura to her own. Sakura felt comfortable in her hospital, she knew it like the back of her hand and every corner, no matter which one, it was like being in her own home. Not that she didn't have a home for her own, well, yes, yes she had, and a very comfortable one by the way, but she felt a lot better when working either in the ICU, the rooms, the laboratory or her office. She did not hate her own house, but she preferred to arrive there once she had finished all her duties. Exhaustion taking over her body and mind so that she could simply enter her comfortable apartment to take a shower and fall on her bed and finally sleep as deep as possible in the most dreamless dream, so she wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night or the day depending on the worked shift.

Sakura shook her head coming back to reality once more reading the records of the day, those that she would have to leave to the Lord Seventh at some point in the afternoon which means today she would be forced to leave the hospital shortly. It was 8 pm, if her math didn't fail her if she finished her work around 9, she could find Kakashi on his way to his own home, and at that moment she would deliver the papers. The oral report should be left for tomorrow and knowing her former sensei as she did, that would not be a problem. Kakashi had proven to be a better Hokage than anyone would have ever thought; still, old habits die hard: working more than necessary in bureaucratic matters was not in his nature, less now in these times of peace, so different from those that they had faced so many years ago.

So many years ago. Had there really been so many? Yes, they had been, but they had passed quickly. In the blink of an eye, Sakura had gone from being a wayward 13-year-old girl starting her shinobi path to becoming a 25-year-old woman. A direct disciple of Tsunade, a Nin doctor, a great Kunoichi and a promise for Konoha medicine. Her professional life was settled for at least the next 15 years, and she was delighted with it. Even more now that the wars fought in the past had given way to brighter times for the new generations that slowly began to repopulate the village. There were already more births that were attended in the hospital than the fatal cases produced on the battlefields. Of course, people kept dying, that was inevitable, but it was one thing to lose shinobis and villagers due to natural causes and quite another to do it due to the horrors of war. Even so, Sakura, daughter of fire, anger, and convulsed times never let her guard down and was always attentive to a new outbreak of violence. Maybe it was a way of staying attached to a past that made her feel much more supported and contained, but prevention was never too much. The sun could shine brightly now, but no one would never know when a storm could come to sweep away everything built since then.

Sakura was satisfied. Satisfied. No, not happy. Satisfied. She knew she was settling for little, but that's how the last few years had been. It's been said that in life one can't have everything and that's why it is better to settle for what at least in some way can go well, so that's exactly what she did. Sakura always considered herself as a woman with will and power, but on more than one time, the lack of self-confidence had led her down dark paths that she didn't even want to think about. However, it was not only her who thought so. She had heard the rumours about her. Since she was a girl, Sakura felt that she didn't fit in. She had grown up in a typical and wealthy home. Unlike the team 7 she had had the possibility of growing up surrounded by the love of her mother and father, she had not suffered the losses that Naruto, Kakashi or Sasuke suffered which at times she almost romanticized. She knew that as an only daughter, she had been the object of her parents' devotion and focus of all their attention, which turned her into a spoiled child. It is true that she was weaker than the others and that she also cried often, but it was also true, and no one could deny that when the time came, the change she had made to become stronger had been radical. She would never be left behind again, and yet the gossip continued. She had even heard them come out of her best friend Ino's mouth. What could Sakura know about the life of a Kunoichi when it was the closest to perfection. Ino had lost her father in the fourth war just like Hinata and Tenten lost Neji. Shikamaru had lost his father. Temari had grown up without the love of her parents like Naruto and Sasuke.

Sakura was far from being able to empathize with his two teachers, how she could understand Kakashi's feelings or Tsunade's resilience when losing not only her brother but also her lover and later Jiraiya. For Ino, the most significant loss Sakura had ever suffered was her long pink hair that time as a child. What Ino didn't know is that each of those losses that didn't belong directly to Sakura, they did indirectly. Sakura loved each of her friends intensely and from the depths of her being. Each tear, each pain of any of them was her own in her skin blood and bones. She suffered with them and for them in silence, and that silence hurt more than anything. That is why she had decided to be a doctor, so as not to see anyone else ache again, and if somebody had to do it, after all, better to be her, because deep down she was strong, and she would be even more for others.

Silence. That silence was slowly killing her. She was slowly sinking into loneliness and apathy. Ino would always be her best friend no matter what the blonde could say about her with a few too many drinks or for the simple fact of wanting to stand out as she had always been. The rest of the boys would be her family forever, and she would accompany them in every important step they took in this new adult life they faced. They all grew so much, they were even starting their own families. Even Naruto had overcome his unconditional love towards her, and now Hinata was the light in his eyes. Maybe Sakura should have paid more attention to him when she was a child, perhaps if she had tried to fall in love with the self-proclaimed future Hokage, today she would be happy. What Naruto wouldn't have done for her? However, she had always been in love with Sasuke. From the first day she had seen him in the academy, from the first second, and for a moment she thought they could have their happy ending, after the fourth war, revenge, repentance and tears, peace appeared. Sakura believed then that love was enough for everything and she had tried. Sakura and Sasuke finally began their love story. Sakura was ecstatic, and at first, she thought she had everything she had ever proposed. She would form a family with the last of the Uchiha and reestablish the clan, they would have many children who would exalt the surname once more. Children who grew up strong like Sasuke and sweet and determined like Sakura.

However, the happiness that Sakura thought she had were nothing more than projections of her wishes. Sasuke was rarely in the village, and when he did, the distance between them was enormous even though neither of them said so. A devious routine that hurt more than any kunai. At night Sasuke and Sakura could love each other intensely for a couple of hours, even talk to each other about their days or their wishes. Sasuke would sleep wrapped in nightmares and night fears while Sakura would watch over those dreams trying to provide comfort to her lover, caressing his forehead, whispering comforting words in his sleeping ears, Sakura would spend hours without sleeping, and when the morning arrived, after having breakfast together they would go their own way without much to say to each other. And so over the years, Sakura realized that she no longer heard the music. All those melodies of love, dreams of illusion vanished, and she quickly began to feel nothing for Sasuke. They had nothing in common, and the truth struck her like a thunderbolt: they were together out of habit, fear and anxiety. She had to finish everything as soon as possible to stop the spiral of wounds that a relationship like this left, however, her heart and nobility played a trick on her. Sakura felt that she could not abandon Sasuke, that he could not suffer another loss and despite losing her own happiness, she had to sacrifice herself to achieve the mental and emotional well-being of her loved one. That's what she was for, that's what a woman was for. she wouldn't be as cruel as the world was when Sasuke was little. She could save him even if no one saved her.

And so, without much and without anyone noticing, Sakura became a ghost, the shadow of herself. More and more silence, more and more loneliness and more fake smiles. She was lost again as she was when she was a child.

And one day Sakura's world stopped. She should have seen the signs. That night Sasuke and Sakura had sex, the most intense and intimate sex they had ever have. Long hours of love and pleasure till they both fall asleep. In the morning Sakura looked for Sasuke by her side, but he was gone. On the bedside table was a letter that was written in the neater handwriting she had ever seen, and she didn't need to open it. Sasuke had left and would not return. Sakura was relieved and scared of her own feelings, but it was better this way. Both would go their own way and would have to discover who they really were for the first time. Sakura had a new chance.

And with this new chance in hands, she devoted her life to the hospital and to others. Yes. She was satisfied.

Sakura began to gather her things and put together the folder that would present to her Hokage in just a few moments. She smiled to herself at the thought of him: his languid figure with his false hunched posture, the smile behind the mask, maybe the white robe slung over one shoulder in case he had felt too lazy to take it off and leave it in the office and his hands in his pockets. Kakashi was a mystery; however, those little glimpses of his gestures Sakura knew them perfectly. She had known Kakashi since she was 13 years old and since then he had perhaps been the only person who had stayed closest to her in all this time. Ever since her sensei had assured her and her teammates that he would protect them with his life on their first mission against Zabuza, even if it was a clone talking, even if it was a strategy, she knew then that he was serious. She also knew back then that she was at his feet. She was a child then, she was impressed with Kakashi, even hating sometimes his antics. She wasn't in love with her sensei, she didn't have a crush on him; then, it was just pure admiration and respect. She used to felt secure around him, and so she did through all these years: during missions, in the war and now that he was in charge of all the people of Konoha. Kakashi loved Konoha as much as she did, and that made her respect him even more. He had never turned his back on his people, despite everything he had ever had to go through, he always remained true to his principles and had never become a monster to fear. So far away was Kakashi from Sasuke in the end, those who might once have looked alike, today proved to be totally different. Sakura could trust in Kakashi. No matter how many vague answers he gave to her tireless questions, how many evasions he invented so as not to talk about himself, or how many times she wondered if there was ever a genuine smile underneath that mask, in the end, Kakashi was always loyal, faithful and honest.

Sakura admired his joviality. The man remained the same as when she had met him, he seemed not to have aged a year, while she had aged all together. How many years separate them? Thirteen, maybe fourteen, and yet at times, she seemed even older than him. She had to ask him the secret of youth. Saying that Kakashi was attractive was a no-brainer. Everyone knew it, she knew it, even without seeing his face. She knew or thought she knew that under the mask was one of the most beautiful faces of Konoha, however, perhaps because of the secrets it hid, Sakura felt that her Hokage looked even more attractive like that. It was not necessary to speak of his body. Kakashi was an elite shinobi, his body had been shaped for that so he could be a killing machine, however, he also may look like a rag doll sometimes. Sakura knew a large part of his thanks to the number of times she had healed his wounds as a doctor, and she had seen many other men as well, but the former Copy Ninja had a different complexion from the others. While most of the shinobis looked either too thin or too formed, Kakashi was the balance between the two. Long legs, narrow waist, a flat abdomen, broad shoulders. Yes, Hatake Kakashi was the closest thing to perfection Sakura knew that any woman who could have him for herself would be lucky in more ways than one and she was jealous just imagining it. Sakura blushed from just analyzing her thoughts since when had she started observing her sensei like this? She almost chastity herself and force her mind to change the course of her thoughts.

Not everything was beauty and light in the Hokage, and that Sakura could see it too. Behind all that carefree facade, the tired looks and mischievous smiles, she also saw loneliness. Whole hours spent in an office to which he had no attachments and a home to return to where he could only find his dogs if they were invoked. She wondered what was going through Kakashi's mind. Was he still missing Rin? Would he have overcome Obito's loss, this time for good and the Sharingan as well? Kakashi was a man of action, Sakura felt that even in times of peace, he would miss the din of missions, a battle, the fire and the anxiety of not knowing what would happen next. Sakura sighed. In the end, Kakashi was more like her than she could have ever imagined. They both clung to a dark past, a present that offered only apathetic calm and a future full of promises of lonely stability.

Sakura felt her heartache for both of them, but even more for Kakashi. Once again, her mind and soul were trying to heal somebody else before herself, but she couldn't help it. Thinking of Kakashi filled Sakura with a warmth in her body that she hadn't felt in a long time. It wasn't just physical attraction. It wasn't about wanting to spend a night with Konoha's most coveted ninja. No. Sakura wanted to share her sorrows along with his. She wanted to touch his hand and reassure them both that everything would be fine. She craved to talk to him for hours, contemplate the stars with him, gaze at his profile, laugh at his silly jokes, and get mad at his ridiculous excuses. Suddenly Sakura wanted everything from Kakashi, she desired to know him as he really was. She wanted to remove him from the pedestal she had once put him on and make him human, re-meeting him as what they were now: two adults. Sakura took her things and went out determined to meet the Hokage. She would give him the reports and see what happened next. She would invite him to dinner just for the sake of being courteous and talking to him. Just to know what his answer would be. Even if it were a no, which she supposed would happen, she would begin her attempts to get closer to him and know if he wanted to get closer to her. She didn't care what kind of relationship they could strike up. She wasn't expecting anything, just hearing his voice, even his rejection. Maybe that's how Sakura could felt something again, even if it was just pain.

So a second part, what do you think? does it deserve the third one? I wrote this story inspired by The Libertine song and some things I read over the years about Sakura, which I don't think they are fair.

I would love to hear your opinions, as I told you before, this is my first fin in the Naruto Verse and English is not my mother language. So I'm going to be absolutely delighted to read from you. Thank you so much to everyone.