Chapter 10 - No Sunlight Here

Louis was the first to wake up, just laying there, staring at nothing in particular. He smiled at his mate's light snoring. Everything about Legosi was perfect. Everything about their life was perfect minus all the animals always looking at them. Once again, he had all eyes on him, just like back at Cherryton, but also this time...He wasn't alone. He didn't feel the weight of everyone crushing him. The only reason he couldn't breathe was that Legosi took his breath away. And because he was laying on top of him with a lot of his weight.

Louis did the only thing he could think of doing. He pulled his hand back and scratched his cheek, smiling. He wondered what kind of neighbors they would meet today. He really hoped for another couple like them.

A sudden snort broke up the snoring, and Legosi smiled in his sleep, turning his face to lick the hand scratching him.

"G'morning, Legosi," Louis' soft voice hummed in the wolf's ears.

One of the wolf's eyes opened but closed soon after. He yawned, mouth open wide.

The deer noticed the open maw, moving his hand to go inside of it, but not too far. The jaws came closed gently around it, causing Legosi's eyes to snap open. He looked at Louis, and then down at the hand in his mouth. "...Mmph..."

"Mph, indeed," the deer smiled.

Legosi disengaged his jaws and kissed Louis' knuckles. He crawled up and laid down again so their heads were next to each other, giving him loving pokes with his nose

"How did you sleep?" Louis asked, rubbing his back, down to his tail and pulling it through is hand very slowly, from the base to the tip.

Legosi blinked slowly. "Really well. We must have fallen asleep pretty early." He shuddered from the deer touching his sensitive tail.

"Mhmm...But considering it's the most comfortable sleep an animal can get, I'm not complaining."

"This futon is pretty good. I'm surprised." Legosi yawned again, curling up next to Louis.

"You were laying on me. It wasn't the futon," the buck huffed. He took advantage of the wolf's position to move forward and bury his snout in his lover's chest, reveling in the soft feeling.

Legosi bumped his nose onto Louis' head. "Do you like it there?"

"Mhm...Oh yeah..." He moved his muzzle in little circles.

Legosi snickered. "B-babe, that tickles!"

Louis kept moving his head. "I love it."

The wolf kept trying to stifle his laughs, which in turn caused his legs to rapidly tap on the floor. He didn't want to pull away, of course, so he stayed put the best he could.

The deer kept moving his face against him. "Mmmm...So perfect."

"Wh-what if I started working out to fight all the animals that tried to hurt us?"

"Working out?" Louis asked, his head pulling back.

"Yeah, what if I got big muscles? Would you like that or not?"

"No way. Not for my puppy."

Legosi giggled. "What? You don't want me to look like Gouhin-san?"

The deer tried to imagine it. "Definitely not."

"Wolves tend to be on the more slender side, with bigger upper bodies and thinner waists. Big hands and feet, too." Legosi explained all this as if Louis hadn't admired every part of him for the majority of the past year.

"Trust me. I know very well," he purred. "Please don't ever change. You're so perfect to me that it's in its own category of perfect."

"I'll try not to get more scars, then." Legosi kissed his deer's head. "You've been looking so good lately."

"Maybe I should be the only who works out." Louis went back to enjoying his chest fur.

"Then you'll be able to lift me real good." Legosi winked.

"Oh, please. I couldn't stand looking at myself with muscles," Louis rolled his eyes.

"I guess Bill is the muscle of the group then." Legosi stretched, his skeleton cracking in multiple places. "What time is it?"

Louis grumbled and checked his phone. "It's around ten...We should probably get up for the day."

The wolf grumbled and sat up slowly, his fur matted on one side of his body. He looked around the room, trying to locate his underwear

Luckily, Louis was one step ahead of him, raising the garments up. "Is this what you were looking for?"

Legosi stared at it for a second before grabbing it. "You thief," he teased.

"Perhaps. But you'll never know~"

The canine rolled on his back, bringing his legs up so he could pull on the garment. "Do you still have some of your money left?"

"I do. What's up?"

Legosi sniffed the air. "I think it's time for laundry."

The deer blushed. "A-ah I guess your canine nose is more sensitive to that...Yeah, that sounds good."

The wolf tapped the instrument in question. "It never lies."

"So cute." Louis yawned, grabbing his underwear and pulling them up under the covers. "We'll go together so we can get more done."

"Maybe we can eat at that coffee shop while we wait," Legosi suggested. He stood up as well, cracking his back.

"Ooh, great idea." Louis twisted his torso, hearing small cracking noises. "Where'd I put my eyepatch...I need to wash it."

"Will you be okay out in public without it?"

"What? Legosi, I have more than one eyepatch."

"What? Since when?"

"You think I'd just have one eyepatch?" His lips curled into a small smile. "Give me some credit."

"I don't know! They all look the same!"

"They aren't supposed to be pretty!"

Legosi went quiet for a moment, picking out his outfit for the day. "What if they could be?"

"You sound just like that tanuki."

Legosi pulled on a pair of jeans. "Maybe you could glue some jewelry on it," he joked.

"Legosi," Louis glared.

"Ahh! Scary!"

"I don't want to decorate my eyepatch, okay?" He got up, beginning to get dressed, wearing grey jeans and a dark brown tee shirt.

The dog's playful air receded as his ears folded back. "Ah, I'm sorry, Louis. I didn't mean to be rude."

"Don't worry about it. How do I look?" He turned, expectantly.

Legosi looked him up and down, noting the rather plain look that the deer somehow made remarkable. "...Really, really cute. I feel so lucky to be your fiance." Legosi beamed, turning to their clothes pole to pick out a shirt.

"If you weren't my fiance, then you either would be or no one would be."

"You don't think you'd find someone else if we never met?" Legosi pulled out his maroon polo shirt.

"I'd still be under my father's boot."

"So...probably forced to marry." The wolf felt something bitter on his tongue. The thought of anyone else having his deer...

"Forced to marry Azuki and to avoid being miserable, try and force myself to fall in love with her so I can at least be sort of happy."

Legosi nodded, Oguma's shadow looming over them. He pointed over his shoulder to the door. "Well, shall we?"

"We shall," Louis cooed. They left their abode, Louis turning to Legosi. "Hopefully it's not too expensive. Wouldn't that be annoying?"

"I don't think it could be for an area like this." Legosi's voice echoed in the old stairwell. He kept an eye out for any fellow condo residents.

They were both carrying bags of their laundry now, moving down the hall quietly with their arms full. Louis turned his head and he felt his heart stop as he saw a familiar shape in the distance. "Holy shit."

"Hm?" Legosi followed his line of sight, but whatever had been there was gone. "What's going on?"

The deer blinked. He began moving forward quickly, still carrying his bag of laundry. "There's no way..."

Legosi, unprepared for the sudden movement, lagged behind a bit. "Hey! Louiiis!"

The wolf caught up, embracing him from behind as he looked around the corner. "Louis, what's going on?"

"Look!" He whispered. "Tell me who you think that is!"

Legosi squinted at the figure. "I...don't know." He closed his eyes and sniffed the air. His eyes snapped open, once again. "Wh-what's Shogi-san doing here?"

"Exactly!" He began moving along again, speeding up to catch up with the sheep, now that his identity had been confirmed. His heart was racing.

Legosi followed along, unsure why Louis just didn't call out his name. He followed his lead, however, keeping quiet.

Finally, the deer did call out as he got closer. "Shogi-san!" The sheep's ears perked and turned around but was immediately met with Louis dropping his bag of clothes on the ground and crashing into him with a hug. "It's so good to see you!"

Shogi stood still for a moment, his mind not even having processed that this was the same Louis that had been locked up at Horns and the same Louis he helped escape. But what his mind did register was the hug. The contact...After so long...After everything..."L-Louis..."

The deer felt the smaller animal begin to shake and sob in his arms and his immediate thought was confusion on if he was just that happy to see him.

Louis blinked. "Shogi-san...Are you okay?"

The smaller herbivore said nothing.

The deer's head turned back to Legosi, a confused look spread all across his face

Legosi stood behind them awkwardly, unsure if the other animal even remembered him.

Shogi didn't even notice the wolf as he kept Louis' shirt clutched in his fist. He had needed this for so long and he was finally getting out. There was no way the tears would stop.

Louis just rubbed his back, awkwardly. "Uh...I'm...happy to see you, too."

Shogi sniffled. If only you really knew, Louis.

Minutes passed and the deer pulled him back, looking at his face. "Hey..."

The sheep turned his head. "Don't look at me, Louis. I can't bear it."

Louis gulped. "I apologize. Do you...want to tell me what this is about?"

Shogi cleared his throat, steepling his fingers together. "I'm sorry, Louis. I don't feel comfortable talking out here..."

The deer thought for a moment. "You can come to our apartment. It's close b—"

"No!" The sheep stepped back, quickly. "I mean...No."

Louis raised his hands. "Okay! We don't have to go there..."

Shogi shook still, his heart pounding. What do I do? I need to talk to someone...But...Think, Shogi. Louis trusts you. Talking will help. Remember what you read in that book? "Could you...Come with me to my room? It's not far."

Louis blinked, making sure his voice stayed soft. "Oh, uh...Okay!" His head rotated once more, looking at his fiance.

Legosi bowed slightly. "Uh, you can give me the money and I'll go to the laundromat."

"What? You're going to leave me?"

Shogi just stayed quiet, looking elsewhere.

"Th-this seems like a private matter and I don't know if Shogi-san wants me to come along...!"

The sheep swallowed once more. "I-I'm fine with either."

Legosi looked between them, not wanting to leave either alone. "I'll come along..."

"Will you bring our laundry back home real fast so we don't have to carry it along with us?" Louis asked, politely. He looked at the butler, making sure he was alright. He seemed to be doing...Adequate.

The wolf nodded and hurried along, chest and stomach pooling with anxiety at this new development.

Shogi had reservations in his mind about having anyone over, but he was going to go crazy if he didn't tell somebody.

Louis leaned against the wall. What the hell is going on? Does Oguma have something to do with this? He turned to look at his friend, who was turned away. The wool was definitely messy and he didn't smell as clean as he usually did when he saw him. Did he get fired?

Soon, Legosi's large feet stomped down the steps and he appeared again, simply nodding to the two to tell them he was ready.

Shogi made no sound as he turned and began proceeding down the hall. Louis waited until his mate was close to grab his hand as they followed the smaller animal. Why were they always getting involved with sheep?

They made their way down a few hallways and finally came to a door which had been left slightly ajar. Shogi approached it and slowly pushed it open, walking inside the dark room, almost being enveloped by the blackness.

Louis blinked, staying at the entrance. He blinked as a strong smell hit him. What was that?

Shogi made no effort to turn on the lights, calling out "Come in" from somewhere inside.

The deer blinked. "I can't really see where I'm going."

"It's...really messy in there," Legosi whispered to him, able to see thanks to his canine abilities. Trash and clothes were strewn about without a care. Both empty and full bottles of drinks lined the floor, and some seemed to have spilled.

Louis blinked. "What the hell...?" He said this as quietly as possible. The Shogi he knew was clean and proper!

"Close the door behind you," the sheep said. "Please, don't turn on the lights."

The deer squeezed Legosi's hand. "Can you guide me through?"

The wolf nodded, stepping over some trash and guiding Louis' feet to avoid it as well. "How can you see in here, Shogi-san? Sheep have poor night vision."

"Sit anywhere you like," the butler said, ignoring him.

Louis felt seriously freaked out, if he was being honest. It wasn't normal for an herbivore to be in the dark like this. Especially if Legosi was right about how messy it was.

The wolf stared wide-eyed at the space around them, finding no spots that were clear. There was no furniture aside from a chair with dirty dishes piled up on it and the mat that Shogi sat on. Was that his bed? Nonetheless, Legosi guided Louis toward it and sat down next to Shogi, pulling the deer into his lap to prevent him from sitting in any of the garbage.

The cervid cleared his throat. "What's going on? Why are you acting so strange?"

I can't tell him. Oh god, I can't tell him. Shogi felt his throat become more dry than he had ever felt it. He laid and curled up on that mat.

Louis spoke again after there was no answer. "I saw what you were wearing. A white shirt and sweatpants? That doesn't seem like you. And your shirt had stains on it. You told me you hate stains on your clothes!"

Shogi had fallen into ignoring that they were there while he was thinking and after a while he had completely forgotten they were there.

Louis knew that something had clearly happened and it was obvious the sheep was nervous to talk about it. He just needed to give him time and take it slow.

...

...

...

"I think he fell asleep," Legosi noted.

"Shogi?" Louis asked.

"I'm not asleep," the sheep said, a cold tone in his voice.

Louis sighed. Time to ask the big question. "Did my father fire you because he found out what you did?"

"No, I..." He swallowed for the umpteenth time, feeling the scratch in his parched throat. "I ran away after that night. There was no way they would let me stay after they found out what I did."

Louis blinked. "Oguma didn't come after you?"

"There was no point. I was working for him for my benefit. Letting me go probably meant nothing to him."

"Oh. Well, that's good at least. Did you try and find another job to help your brother?" Just as he said it, a realization hit him like a deer crossing the road. Oh, no.

Shogi's breath hitched. "I..." He turned on his side. "I tried, Louis..." The welling up in his voice was evident.

Louis stayed quiet, not knowing how to feel.

"I tried to find a job to help him. I worked so hard...But...In the end, nothing mattered. His...his condition worsened and..." He took a deep breath. "H-he passed."

Louis stayed quiet, looking forward into the darkness. He couldn't even process it.

Legosi's grip on Louis tightened. feeling tears well up in his own eyes, his strong empathy for herbivores triggering at seeing the man suffering before them.

Shogi sat up. "I...I worked so hard...And...I still lost him..." He buried his face in his hands, moving his legs to sit criss crossed under him. "I failed..."

Louis still couldn't find words.

The other herbivore continued. "After that, I realized that there was no point in living anymore. I had lost the one reason I was born for. To protect my brother. I-I failed him...After everything, I didn't want anyone to look at me anymore. I was so ashamed of everything...I got blackout curtains and covered my window. I didn't want anyone looking in and I didn't want to be reminded of the world outside. I never wanted to leave..." He moved positions again, messing with the material of his sock as he spoke. "I just stopped caring about anything..." He sighed. "There's no sunlight here. Not anymore. I like the dark now. I find comfort in it. I can't see what a mess my life has become and I stay safe in this little bubble I have in my mind..." Shogi rubbed his eyes. "I barely ever sleep. I can't, really...I just..." He let out a sob. "I failed him and now he's gone. There's just no point in living."

Louis took a moment for all of it to soak in. "...What was his name?"

"Renju. I called him Ren..."

That was all the deer could offer. He had absolutely no fucking clue at what to say. But he felt angry. This was his fault...He had used Shogi to help him escape so he could be happy, when little did he know, he basically destroyed the sheep's life.

He curled up on Legosi's lap, feeling overwhelmingly sick.

Shogi went silent after that.

Legosi sat there, stiffly, feeling numb and having the same thoughts Louis was. This sheep sacrificed all he had for them. And what were they doing to repay him? He slightly nudged his mate. "Y-you should go comfort him."

"I can't see," the deer squeaked out.

Legosi nudged them both closer to the grieving sheep so that Louis could feel him. "I'd help but I don't know if he wants a big carnivore near him..."

"I...don't think he wants anyone near him..."

I don't know what I want... Shogi thought. I'm too afraid.

Legosi sighed. "He needs to go outside and see the sun...Breathe in some fresh air. I remember when I used to coop myself up indoors. It always made me feel worse."

"No!" Shogi shook his head.

"No," Louis repeated, almost trance-like. He was stuck in his own head, crashing through glass ceiling after glass ceiling of negative thoughts. This was his fault. Shogi's lack of sleep, the mess, the darkness...It was all because he...used him. He swallowed. "I need to go." He began getting out of his lover's lap.

Legosi held him down. "We can't leave him like this."

The deer began squirming, feeling a crushing sense of panic rise. "No! No, let me go! I need to leave, Legosi!"

Shogi sat up. "Louis...?"

The buck scrambled out of Legosi's lap and crashed into some trash on the floor. He began crawling through it, feeling wildly for anything to hold onto. Everything in his body told him to run away. He didn't even try fighting it. He kept crawling through the mess, loud noises completely filling the pitch-black space.

Legosi scrambled after him but soon gave up on trying to catch him. Instead, he stood up and walked carefully over to the wall where the light switch was, flicking it on.

Shogi covered his eyes. "No! Turn it off! Turn it off!"

Louis laid on the floor on his back, panting heavily. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe.

Legosi stood there, towering above the piles of trash and the two pitiful forms thrashing on the ground. He felt like panicking too, but he held firm. He had to keep it together for these animals. "We can get you help, Shogi-san. But you need to stop hiding first."

"Please...turn off the lights..." the sheep whimpered.

Louis was still having his panic attack on the ground. He curled up in a ball.

Legosi swallowed the lump in his throat, realizing he couldn't ask his deer what to do in this situation. He tried to imagine what he would do if he was back at Gosha's in his mom's room, locked up in the dark. If she were still alive...

He stepped over to Louis, dragging him out of the trash. He flicked the light back off quickly and pulled the shaking deer out into the dimly lit hall, the door closing behind them, leaving Shogi in the void that was his room.