[The name of my OC is Lydia Romanoff and is made up by me.]
"Would you ever consider sleeping with me?" I had managed to ask Kevin, the former receptionist at Hellsing.
And even though I started the whole mission in a composed manner, everything had now ended up in disaster. What in the world did I just say to him?
Kevin stared. He cleared his throat, grinned and pushed his backcombed hair back. Then he laughed.
"In here?" he asked almost a bit disturbed, but curious, looking around the room, eyes scanning over chopping tables and sinks.
I had to bit hard on my lower lip and press my fingernails into my palms to not lose my cool, but I was both disgusted and felt disgusting after hearing how he was willing to do it with me just like that. I knew about Kevin, and how he had his ways with girls, but didn't he have any self respect at all?
I didn't say anything. Kevin laughed again and shot a glance towards the dining room through the small basement-window in the wall. Naomi and Berry were playing cards, having their minds set up in a new game.
Knowing our privacy as declared, he suddenly grabbed me and was facing me intensely.
"Are you serious, Lydia?" he whispered , being elated. Like a dog; it didn't take much for him to get excited.
I thought about his question long and hard before answering "Yes."
Not to have sex with him, but I was serious about this task I had gotten from Zorin. I was serious in my question, but not in the act. If he wants to sleep with me is one thing, actually sleeping with me is another.
Now I just needed to figure out something to help me out of this mess I made.
"But first, I need to ask another thing." I said, placing my hands on his shoulders to prevent him from getting any closer. He was skinny. I could feel the hard collarbones poking up from underneath his shirt.
"Will I be your first?" I asked quietly.
A silent chuckle left Kevin as he walked us towards the inner part of the room. We turned a corner and my back hit the front of a refrigerator. It was freezing.
"You know... I always thought you were slightly cute." he breathed, blue eyes devouring my face and matching the cold spreading across my back.
"Don't worry." he said, stroking my cheek. "I've done it plenty times before, but I'll be as gentle as I've ever been with you."
Kevin is not a virgin, Zorin.
His fingers felt weird touching me. They felt human. I had gotten spoiled by ghostlike touches from Schrödinger and Rip Van Winkle so Kevin's touch was nothing. I felt nothing.
He kissed me and I was surprised at how quickly it escalated. I squirmed in my place, making him pull away.
"Too cold!" I yelped, pressing my body to his awkwardly from the fridge.
That was white lie. The refrigerator was cold indeed, but it was the smallest of reasons that I wanted to get away from here.
I put my hands on his chest and backed him into a wall with a small notice-board with recipes.
"I can't do this. Not in here." I said and gave him my sweetest smile, and then I fled through the nearest exit I could find.
I came out to a corridor with white walls, feeling familiar. A few guards stood talking to each other at the end of the corridor to the left. My heart started to beat faster and I thought about running back into the washing room again but I didn't want to reunite with Kevin.
I began walking backwards as unnoticeably as I could manage, away from them while keeping them in my sight. I had this strange, uncomfortable feeling that they knew about what just had happened, despite that none of them had spotted me yet.
"Enjoying your punishment, Eve?"
Someone caught me from behind and held me still in their arms, making me gasp. I got turned around in the hold and got faced with a grin and curious ruby eyes.
"I'll explain." I whispered quickly, grinning back at him because I was actually glad to see him. It had gotten to a point with Schrödinger where I no longer could care less about how he found out about almost everything.
He was everywhere and nowhere after all, which means he could be in the air or in the walls. Or even within myself, or even in Kevin.
"You don't have to say anything." Schrödinger whispered happily, grin still to his ears. "I just find it a bit amusing that you couldn't get that information another way, but I guess that's how you work." he said, and my happiness dropped in instant.
"Excuse me?" I asked, feeling a frown on my face.
"That's how you work - You're making a huge deal out of everything." Schrödinger explained and I pulled away from him, feeling insulted.
"Not now." I said sternly and shot him a warning glare. I didn't have time for this.
"Excuse me." I said dryly, escaping his hold and rushed past him.
The guards overheard my footsteps and snapped their attention to the scene.
"After her!" one of them shouted, and the group ran in my direction but they didn't make it further. Schrödinger was blocking their path with his hands up in a nonchalant, playful calmness.
"Hold it, boys." he said, preventing them from getting any further.
"She was just a bit… lost." he said, assuring them that I wasn't causing any trouble.
And he was completely right. I was a bit lost.
I agree that this wasn't the greatest method to get out information from Kevin and it did none of us justice, but it worked and I didn't have to ask him the obvious question so he won't be suspicious of anything else other than my sudden "interest" in him.
I decided to wait until the evening class was active again so I could leak the wanted information to Zorin naturally, because I was too much of a coward and didn't dare to visit her anywhere else. Also, I didn't know where else to find her.
When I arrived back to my room, Schrödinger was sitting waiting for me on my bed. He was leaning on the wall where your head are supposed to be with the pillow stuffed behind his back, and his legs was crossed on the covers, boots on his feet; forgotten or intentional resting before him.
When he saw me though, he looked oddly surprised and removed his feet from the mattress and sat up more properly, this time with his legs over the side of the bed.
"How did you-" I began, but then I remembered who he was.
"Right… Everywhere and nowhere, I know." I muttered before he could say anything and slummed down next to him on the bed.
"Everywhere yes, but nowhere near you this evening…" he mumbled, placing both of his white hands on his sharp knees. He seemed jealous.
"Are you mad?" I asked him carefully, almost forgiving him for what he said earlier about how I worked and made a big deal out of everything.
Schrödinger shock his head and smiled just a little bit.
"You can do what you want." he muttered. I hopped closer to him.
"I had to do it." I said, trying to explain the situation.
"No." he said. "You wanted to do it."
That left me speechless, and I thought about it. Did I, really? No.
"How can you be so sure about that?" I asked him, now very closely to his temple, about where his ear would have been if he was 100% human. Reaching up to talk to his fluffy animal ear was out of the question, and way too surreal for me.
I didn't feel like arguing with him. Although it's a bit wrong of me to say, I must admit that I enjoy seeming him slightly troubled. It made him less paranormal and more human, even though it was just small signs of unhappiness, but I counted them all:
The rejecting eye-contact.
The slight pout on his lips.
The light frown.
He had invented another expression. He had gotten a little more than just a Cheshire Cat.
I glanced at the side of his face curiously. His cheekbones were also shown once again.
"Hello?" I mumbled. "Why did you even come here when you won't talk to me?" I asked and smiled against his fair skin.
His pouting was irresistible and his fragrance was extraordinary today. Did he wear cologne? Schrödinger didn't move an inch.
"Don't do it." he suddenly said.
"What?" I asked in confusion, pulling away to get a better look on him. At first I thought he asked me to stop being so close to him, which made my heart drop, but he proved me wrong shortly after.
"Don't tell her about him." he said, finally looking at me.
"Why not?" I asked, not understanding why I shouldn't tell Zorin about Kevin.
"If I don't tell her, she will…" I stopped myself, not even daring to think what would happen if I refused orders. I looked away from his eyes.
"You're afraid of her." Schrödinger said and when I looked back at him he was smirking again.
"I promised her to give her the information she wanted." I said.
"I can't disobey orders."
Schrödinger stood up promptly from the bed and stared down at me.
"But you can disobey me, Eve!" he shouted. Hearing him scream like this was new to me. He sounded like a little child but I knew how serious he was.
"Please sit down." I said calmly.
"Why do you even want to please that woman?" he asked, and kneeled down before me, placing his gloved hands on either side of me on the bed.
"Eve - You did nothing wrong." he said, reminding me of the incident with Ann.
"I was defending you Schrödinger." I said softly.
"I know. What's wrong with that?" he asked, and I began thinking deeply about it.
"I don't know." I said, because I didn't know.
"Eve…" Schrödinger murmured and grabbed my face to make me look at him, only to make me know how serious he was.
"Don't tell her anything. You did nothing wrong." he said slowly. "You don't deserve any kind of punishment. You don't even deserve to be here."
I found myself leaning down towards his face, but I stopped when our foreheads touched.
"There must be some place better for you." His wide lips brushed against mine when he talked and his breath hit my skin like warm puffs of air. My heart melted, despite the fact that I didn't agree with him completely.
"This is quite good too." I said, my hands grasping the collar of his uniform gently.
"Yes-" Schrödinger agreed. "but his smell is all over you…" he complained and grabbed my wrists. He was looking down at my lips, nose slightly wrinkled in displeasure.
"He said I was slightly cute." I said in some kind of dumb suggestion that would make our washing room kiss more acceptable. I didn't know why I said that to be honest. Schrödinger tilted his head to the side, like he was about to kiss me himself. A ghost of a smile was gracing his lips.
"I have cat ears." he said lightheartedly. "Say another obvious thing." he asked, and then I could no longer go up against the boy. Instead of saying another obvious thing, I did another action of compulsion and captured his lips in a kiss that he returned cautiously.
His grip on my wrists softened and hardened, like he couldn't decide if he wanted to be rough or gentle.
I then began laughing, interrupting our kiss, and Schrödinger looked at me curiously.
"Does this mean that what I did with Kevin was all for naught? If don't have to tell Zorin then, my effort must've been in vain?" I asked, finding the whole happening somehow amusing, even though I had made a fool out of myself.
Schrödinger smiled at me, pleased that I gave in to the idea of not saying anything to Zorin.
"Nope." he said. "Your efforts would've been in vain anyway, because I don't want that man near you at any cost." he whispered and took aim for another kiss.
It was fifteen minutes until evening class began and I still haven't decided if I should go or not. Even if I went, there's a chance that Zorin wouldn't be there. She's not in charge of every class we have, and sending me to get information for her must mean that she's very busy with anything else.
Also, she did not give me a deadline of some sort, so I might as well haven't gotten the opportunity to ask Kevin during these hours. She must understand that. But if I did happen to bump into her and she confronted me about it, then what in the world should I tell her?
Schrödinger warned me about telling her the truth, but does that mean that I must lie to her? If she finds out Kevin is a virgin – even though he is not – what will happen to Kevin then? And if she knows the truth about him having sex with people, how will she react to that? Which fact is more possible to please her? If I only knew that, then it wouldn't matter if I lied or not. I didn't know the answer she wanted.
Another thing, or another person I wanted to avoid out of all costs was Kevin of course.
"Ah! So you gave the gangly receptionist blue balls in the washing room!"
It was hard to tell what was funnier. That Rip Van Winkle had referred to Kevin as gangly, when she is almost twice as my height and with limbs slender as pipes, or that used the term blue balls.
"Humans do work in mysterious ways…" she sang to herself in a cooing, wondering mumble.
I didn't want to tell her about my last moment with Schrödinger out of two reasons. I didn't want her to freak out about me rejecting orders, and I didn't want to spice up the reputation me and Schrödinger already was bound to. All of the sudden, I had an idea.
"Winkle, now that we know that Kevin's not a virgin. Can't you tell her?" I asked.
"Oh my dear…" she sighed and re-constructed her position on my couch and turned herself upside-down so her feet were facing the ceiling.
"And take the only escape you have from punishment away from you? With pleasure!" she joked. "I ain't telling that bloody beast anything about her pet. I want nothing to do with any of them!" she said, and I was smart enough to not keep nagging at her about this. She's a member of Millennium after all.
"Just give her what she want, and she won't bug you anymore. I've already told her you're green, so who knows. Perhaps you'll be one of us one day!" she chimed.
I let out a nervous laugh.
"Sorry, but I have this thing with Swastikas, you see-"
"Oh!? But I'm not talking about Swastikas!" she informed gleefully and pushed herself from the wall and jumped up successfully on the floor without effort.
"Tell me fruälein… Has the thought of growing old, weak and wrinkly ever put you off?" she asked with a gleam in her eyes.
"Um." I said. I wasn't too certain about that. I actually liked the concept of eating refreshments every day and having bird feeding as a highlight.
"I suppose." I said, not giving her a reason to nag at me for disagreeing.
"Within Millennium that is possible." she said, two slender fingers lifting my chin up.
"You'll turn me into a vampire?" I asked, my question involuntary coming out sarcastically. Rip Van Winkle only grinned.
"Well not me." she said. "I might lose control of myself and devour you completely; bones and veins and everything!" she chimed.
"If that's what you want; then you should speak with Doc, and then we could live happily ever after; how does that sound?" she whispered close to my face like she was about to kiss me.
"Perhaps… It's sounds pretty interesting." I said, feeling my face change color, and every fiber in my being went rebelling on guard.
"'Perhaps!'" Van Winkle blurted out. "There are no perhaps dear. I already booked you up! Your appointment start's in fifteen minutes!"
"What?"
He was gawking at me shamelessly with those weird spectacles of his from where he stood, and with that nasty smirk plastered on his face like it was a part of his unusual accessory, or necessitate. His grimace did not contain any trace of kindness at all and his posture was so bad it was painful to watch.
I was sitting in a couch in his office, that looked more like a science laboratory from CSI to be honest, and I felt nothing but inferior in the role as his patient. He had a brown binder stuck between his upper arm and the side of his torso and he held a notebook in his hand. A pencil was put behind his ear, almost invisible in the middle-length blond hair. I could not see the color of his eyes. And I never would.
"I've heard a great deal about you, frauläin." he said with a slick and dry voice. "I must say that I feel somewhat honored by your fondness of my creation." he added proudly.
"What?" I asked, not understanding exactly what he meant.
"I speak of Warrant Officer Schrödinger."
My eyes widened.
"You're his dad?" I asked, my eyes drifting to the similar shade of light hair.
The Doctor neglected my words with an amused, deep chuckle.
"I assume you can put it that way, if you'd like…" he mumbled, gambling that concept a little in his head before he said: "I am the closest to family to him that he ever had, that he currently has and that he will ever have." he informed, leaving a melancholic silence behind those words.
Yet, the man was still smirking contently at having me in his company. He dropped the binder from his armpit onto a small table next to another couch placed right in front of me. Whilst taking his seat, he spoke.
"How kind of a young lady like yourself to spare an old bloke like me a moment."
His compliment did not get to me at all, and I considered telling him that I was sent here without any choice and that seeing him in person would never occur in my mind voluntarily, but I was smart enough not to voice my thoughts. I would be a fool to say such a thing to a person such as himself.
His white coat was dirty with old dried blood and underneath it; he was wearing an outfit of almost sadistic and sexual nature; tight-fitting pants and a top that exposed half of his bare torso, his whole stomach showing.
I tried my hardest to maintain eye-contact, but my eyes hated my brain for looking down towards the low waistline, and returned back up, the thought "why?" repeating inside my head.
Taking my speechlessness optimistically, he continued.
"Unfortunately I cannot say that this meeting takes place in a attempt for the two of us to get to know each other. I believe it exists to get to know the person… in-between us."
The information he gave me was confusing. Not only the fact that he had complained about us not getting to know each other, but to know someone else.
And didn't Winkle send me here to become a vampire or something?
He was now seated in his own comfortableness before me, looking like Dr. Phil with the information on the side table and notepad in hand.
"Tell me, Lydia..." he said like he's been saying my name plenty of times before, or has been talking to someone who'd said it and remembered it.
"How well do you know Schrödinger?" he asked, removing the pen from his ear and held it in his fingers like he had all the time in the world.
I found it stupid that he would take notes, but I answered him as best as I could, with a slight paradox.
"Not at all and enough." Was my answer and I earned another content smirk from him, just like I'd said what he wanted to hear.
"An excellent answer Lydia. Especially to a question involving his very own nature, that isn't one-sided either. Are you willing to tell me, what do you see when you look at the boy?" he asked and this question was a bit more difficult to answer for some reason.
I began thinking about one of the most obvious things you see on a person and I ended up answering: "His Youth uniform."
The Doctor still held the pen firmly in hand, but he seemed to have lost focus in his noting.
"Ah! The complete Nazi Hitler Youth uniform; just like the original back then…" he remembered, distracting himself from writing.
"I have an abiding gratitude reserved to mankind for preserving it so beautifully. Schrödinger too is very pleased with it. The uniform was very exciting for him; washed and trimmed with freshly polished shoes and shiny buttons, and just like the boys before him, he was dazzled by Hitler's promises about a bright future, and took pride in his clothes and the armlet." Doc explained with the same enthusiasm like a father would have talking about his sons membership in the scouts.
"He was born and raised in that uniform." he put it shortly. "A young German must be swift as a greyhound, as tough as leather and as hard as Krupp's steel, was Hitler's belief and now my very own." he said, and I shivered. He had mentioned Hitler's name three times.
The quote sounded familiar somehow. I had never heard it be said before now, but I'm certain that I've seen it written down somewhere in this aircraft.
Everything felt like old history class all over again and I am not sure if I like this teacher very much.
"In war training, the boys got to dig trenches and learn how to throw grenades. Reserve troops were engaging in tasks such as fire fighting and mail-delivery…" he said, and I took in all the information attentively.
All I could see was a brainwashed blond boy throwing fireworks and digging holes in the ground and delivering old-fashioned envelopes, not white but light brown, tied in hairy treads.
"And camouflage." he finished and everything made sense to me in the strangest of ways.
"Did Schrödinger learn all of this?" I asked like the naïve student I was.
"He was born and raised in that uniform." the Doctor repeated kindly, answering and not answering my question. You could see that he was glad having me interested in all of this.
"Born and raised to follow orders. As well as the tasks ein Hitlerjunge had to suffer through in order to become a true Nazis – the full meaning of their existence was to serve the motherland, and to die for it."
After hearing that, I wanted to stand up in that moment and leave his office. But this information was gold, and that was the only reason I remained put. This might solve every little confused riddle I had myself wrapped in after I met Schrödinger.
"I've altered him, and maximized all of the knowledges and experiences from the past training camps, in order to fulfill him to the utmost. The final result is a delivery-boy with camouflage skills out of this world and an existence one thousand times more complex than the minds of human beings." he said, putting his ankle on top of the other leg's knee, the top leg pointed outwards, notepad in a limp hold and pencil almost dropping out of his hand.
"You'll see… Schrödinger only exists for as long as he is aware of himself. As a matter of fact – Schrödinger exists for one reason only. I have programmed it all into not only his developed brain, but in his cells and in every little drop of blood; in his entire being. I made him to the person he is – The ultimate Hitler Youth. Haven't you noticed that he's the only one in our organization that are just that, a youth? A jugend? It's all because he is the only one we need. One mind, and one invulnerable body." He looked at me then with an odd expression. "Unless you're willing to join, fruälein?" he asked, half-joking and half-serious.
I shake my head at his offer.
"I'm not a child, Doctor." I said politely, but that wasn't the one and only reason I rejected that opportunity. I didn't want to be a Nazi, or a Jugend. I didn't want to be a vampire, or a werecat. I didn't want to be everywhere and nowhere.
The Doctor and I sat and talked for what seemed like hours. Actually, the Doctor did most of the talking; speaking about the Hitler Youth camps, the original experiment of the Austrian physicist Erwin Schrödinger, and of course his own experiment, his creation, his son.
I got more and more relaxed whilst listening to his meticulous and almost sophisticated explanations and theories. It made me realize how much I had missed conversation with a more or less sane person.
After letting all information get melted into my senses, I felt a billion of things at once. I was relived, and shocked and even disappointed.
I was sad, and happy and angry.
"So that's what he is then" I said seriously whilst nodding in my own kind of understanding. "he's some sort of complete inhuman and emotionless body with a head?" I asked, the words getting more and more difficult to say. "And while you're at it – All you decide to fill him up with is war-related information and everything evil you could transfer. You made a boy – an entire functional person with amazing capableness out of nothing, and all for your own selfish malevolence needs. What a waste of talent. You should be ashamed of yourself, Doctor." I said, not being able to just sit here and listen to all of this.
The Doctor was not offended by my words. He listened closely to them and thought about what I'd said, more than willing to tell me more. "Oh, but Schrödinger is well more than a container of inhuman abilities, my dear." he explained calmly.
"What more did you put in him?" I asked suspiciously with a frown, to which he answered eagerly and instantly: "Poetry!" he exclaimed and chuckled at his own decision. "I planted a seed of poetry to fill out his vocabulary and to make him more social. No wonders he keeps on saying that… 'Everywhere and nowhere'…"
I had a mixture of feelings. Here it was. The truth. It couldn't be clearer than this. The entire mystery of the messenger boy with the cat ears. And yes the truth hurts, but it depends on how you handle it. It felt somewhat like a relief too; an opportunity to move on.
But I had fallen too hard in love with an insufficient experiment, just like Jack had said Schrödinger was, and it will take a long time for me to get back up
"Doctor." I said gently. "Is there no love at all in him?" I asked, hearing how bold and cliché and silly my question sounded, but it felt less ludicrous when Doctor said: "I was just about to get to that..." he was looking slightly impressed, like he believed that I was some kind of mind-reader.
"It seems, to my very own astonishment, that Warrant Officer Schrödinger has created a mind of his own." he said and I felt my heart bounce against the insides of my ribcage.
"The questions won't stop and he's getting more and more distant and self-propelled, curiously wanting to know new things and explore this world." he muttered almost miserably, massaging his temples.
"I suppose I must thank you for that, Lydia. Thank you for letting him grow." he said, and his voice suddenly became one level softer.
"Ever since your path's crossed, Schrödinger's mind has expanded. I don't think it will make much difference in his mission, but I doubt that poetry is the only harmless importance in his mind at this very moment…" he said and smiled.
"I apologize if my creation has made your life as an intern more troublesome, fruälein. All I can say in my defense is that I did not alter him this way." he apologized, and I stood up then. Not because I had enough, neither because I was on my way to escape.
Before I would change my mind, I leaned down and kissed his forehead and said:
"Thank you. Doctor."
The Doctor of millennium, the so-called father of Warrant Officer Schrödinger remained seated even after his patient had left their appointment. The human contact left a lingering of strangeness on his skin, and secretly surprised him and even flattered him. In return for receiving that action of kindness, he left the notepad blank.