OK I promised I would deliver and deliver I will.
Here is the latest chappy!
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I AM SOOOO FREAKING HAPPY FOR THAT!
People loving the first story that much they saved it! GAH! You guys!
And yes as it was my very first story there were and still are heaps of writing issues.
I promise I will return to that first story and will work on cleaning it up and will possibly also post it on to AO3 later on.

Tell me you love me and I will post the next chappy!

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Natstar

SHATTER ME

Chapter 23

When Hermione emerged she found Ginny, Harry and Sirius playing cards. She curled up on the arm chair watching as Ginny lay her cards on the table grinning. "Gin."

Sirius swore and through the cards across the table, "Again? How is that bloody possible?"

"Easy. Her brothers are Fred and George." Harry grumbled as he gathered the cards and packing them away, as Sirius summoned the large tray of food he had the house elves prepare floating plates to each of them and lifting the cover. On it was steaming hot pizza. Ginny looked at it dubiously having never tried it before, but Harry grinned and pulled a slice onto his plate leaving strings of cheese to fall back onto the pizza. Hermione reluctantly got up and helped herself to a piece, neatly slicing the cheese strings.

"What is it? Ginny asked as she pulled a slice onto her plate, watching Harry wolf his down.

"The best thing that you will have tried in a long time" Sirius answered, biting into his own slice. Ginny looked back down at the slice and shrugged picking it up and biting into it.

"Thus us ahmahzung!" she said with her mouth full. The others chuckled, even Hermione's cheeks dimpled in amusement.

"Must be a Weasley thing: to be able to talk with a mouth full of food." Harry said grinning. He face fell as he realised what he had said. Hermione lowered her plate.

"Hermione, he might come around." Harry tried to be optimistic. Hermione shook her head sadly.

"I don't think there is any coming back from that." She said bleakly. She took a deep breath and sighed heavily. She picked up her pizza and took another small bite. Letting the conversation pick up around her, she summoned her backpack that had been left where Ron had dumped it.

Pulling out the notes she began reading through it, making small notations. Absorbed in her work she didn't realise that the conversation had stopped until Harry nudged her foot.

"Are you sure that you want to show me, Hermione? Those memories" Hermione looked up at him.

"Harry, I would never offer this freely if I wasn't sure. I want you to understand what truly happened that night. What lead to my parents being murdered. Why I truly love Sirius and he me." Her voice was thick with emotion, but she refused to let the tears come.

"If you are sure Hermione?" Harry asked her again. She nodded, looking over at Sirius. "We both are. They may be my memories but there is so much of Sirius's life in them. But Harry, this will not be a fun trip."

"Neither is being inside Voldemort's mind." Harry shrugged, "But I have had time to get used to the idea of you both, together." He gave her an awkward smile and ran his hand through his hair before saying his goodnight's with Ginny. Ginny hugged Hermione tightly.

"I don't care what anyone says, I am so happy for you." She whispered to Hermione. "Thanks Ginny." Hermione hugged her back just as tightly. Hermione watched as Sirius showed them out, feeling like she had been talking to James and not Harry.

"I get that too sometimes," Sirius said as he returned. "I slip and call him James. Now I know why you always kept calling James, Harry." He wrapped his arms around her, inhaling her scent, honey and vanilla. Hermione relaxed in his arms sighing. The world was nowhere close to safe or normal but in his arms she felt safe.

VVVVV

Ron was still furious the following day, having chosen to ignore Harry. Harry didn't seem to care too much as he felt that Ron was out of line. And after the conversation he had with his Godfather, knew there was more than what was on the surface. Unfortunately this made for an extremely awkward training session, and Harry told Ron to get in line or was off the team.

"You would rather McLaggen over me?" Ron stared incredulously at Harry.

"Not particularly, but if you don't start being part of this team then I'll put him in." Harry glared at Ron. The others on the team watched on, glaring at the Keeper. None were at all pleased with how the session turned out.

"I want to win next week's game against Ravenclaw. All of us do. So pull it together or McLaggen's in. Training is over." Harry flew off and away from the group, partly to calm down and partly to gather the balls back to the case. Yet even zooming around the stadium did not feel as fun just now.

He was wrestling the last bludger back into the case as someone stepped up to give him a hand. When the chains locked over the ball Harry looked up and found Hermione looking back at him.

"I don't think I will ever truly understand the obsessions with this game." She smirked at him, offering her hand to help him stand up and take one side of the ball chest.

"Neither will I ever understand your passion for books." Harry countered as they lifted and carried the case between them back to the locker rooms.

"Thanks." Harry said as he put away his broom into his locker.

"It's no problem." Hermione gave him a small smile. "I take it training didn't go too well?"

Harry shook his head, walking out, shouldering his broom. Hermione followed and fell into step as they made their way back to the castle. Both were silent as they walked across the grounds in the mid-morning light, taking the circuitous route.

"How do you do it Harry?" Hermione asked as they passed the greenhouses. "How do you deal with everything that is happening, about to happen and not want to run away."

They walked for a period before stopping a ways off where students had taken to play the muggle game of football. They watched as the students, a mix of all the houses participated.

"Believe me, I ask myself that more than you realise. The prophecy that we got that night, Dumbledore showed it to me, that night you disappeared at the Ministry. I was always meant to go against him. Dumbledore and I have been trying to figure out how to defeat him." Harry opened up to Hermione about his fears and his assignment to get the memory of Slughorn.

"Why won't he give it?" Hermione asked him. Harry shrugged as he moved back towards the castle.

"I think he is ashamed. But it doesn't make it easier in trying to convince him." Harry looked sideways at Hermione as they climbed the stairs, noting the frown on her forehead trying to find a solution to help him.

"So, why did you come and see me?" He asked. Hermione scrunched up her nose. "Apparently I am not eating enough, and Sirius roped in Remus to 'drop by' with Tonks, to ensure I am looking after myself."

Harry chuckled, "Then you aren't going to like what I'm going to say Hermione. They are right. You need to take care of yourself." Hermione snorted in derision.

"Well they also think you need to get a girlfriend and are considering finding you one." Hermione shot back at him, stopping Harry in his tracks.

"The girl I like is dating someone else." Harry said evasively. Hermione chuckled this time.

"Actually she isn't. She hasn't for ages. She is waiting for you to just go and ask her out." Hermione watched as Harry's face grew flushed. "And Harry," Hermione said moving away, "From everything I went through in terms of finding the man I love, don't wait."

Harry watched as she walked away, wondering what happened to the girl once obsessed with school grades and no time for boys, to the one walking slowly down the corridor fierce yet fragile.

Hermione left Harry grateful to have talked about something that didn't relate in any way to her. She wasn't ready to return to her rooms, but unsure where to go. Gryffindor tower seemed unlikely as many classmates were beginning to resent that she resided separately. And Ron being there didn't appeal. She climbed the stairs slowly as her mind shifted constantly through the memories, of her time in the veil, of her parents, and when she was just the weird girl.

She found herself again atop the astronomy tower, one of the few places that showed an almost 360 degree view of the castle and grounds. She walked slowly around the tower, her eyes outwards looking past the lake and the forest to the horizon beyond. Absently she rubbed her abdomen.

"This was not how I would imagine how to bring you into the world. But I hope that you will be able to grow up in a world safer than the one we are in now." She whispered to the wind. Below, the faint echoes of the other students still playing their game of football travelled up the tower; each trying to find happiness in the ever approaching darkness that seemed just out of sight.

She felt the hot tears cool on her cheeks as she fruitlessly wished that she could see her parents one last time. A sound behind her made her wipe away her tears quickly as she turned. Draco Malfoy stood startled that someone else was up here.

"Not planning on jumping again, Granger?" he asked, his face quickly became impassive.

"I never was before. I just needed space to breathe." Hermione said, turning back to the view. Letting him decide to stay or go. She heard as he moved to the other opening on the parapet to observe the view on his own.

"There is a rumour going round that you and Black are hooked up." Malfoy's voice intruded on her thoughts.

"There is also a rumour that you were given the Dark Mark Draco, or bitten by a werewolf, depending who you ask." Hermione answered back, "I wouldn't take much stock in rumours."

Silence as they both looked at the same horizon seeing different things. Hermione watched as light cotton wool clouds raced across the sky, the sunlight sparkling across the water as the trees of the forest swayed on their own breeze.

"Most rumours have a shard of truth in them." Draco's voice reached her ears. Hermione pushed away and looked over to the blonde haired boy who had once used any opportunity to belittle and call her names. It seemed that she wasn't the only one that had changed dramatically in a short space of time.

"Seeking forgiveness, I have found, begins within, before it is accepted from others." Draco snorted and turned to make a reply but found himself alone on the tower, her faint steps back down the tower echoing up.

"Where did you disappear off to?" Sirius asked as she entered back the rooms. Hermione shrugged, "A walk to clear my head."

"Not to wait for Moony and Tonks to leave?" Sirius asked, putting down his sketchpad and beckoning her over, pulling her into his lap.

"Maybe a little." She gave him a small smile, "But I just needed to think some things through." She nestled against him, enjoying the feel of him against her and his hand running through her hair.

"Did you tell Remus?" She asked after a while. She felt Sirius sigh heavily against her.

"No, there didn't seem to be a moment in the conversation. No the topic was mostly about the war, and pretty much everything else. It's bad out there. And it is going to get worse again."

Hermione felt him sigh again. It was true the war was going as much the same way as before. There was real danger outside of Hogwarts. It seemed like it was only a matter of time, before even Hogwarts would not be safe. And somehow in amongst all of it, she had to go back in time and have a baby, their baby. As if in her mind Sirius rubbed his hand against her stomach. Hermione laid a hand over his.

"I hope you don't mind. I have made plans on building a home for us to live. For the three of us" Sirius spoke up again. Hermione turned to look up at him in surprise.

"You did? Where?" She asked.

"On the coast. I have, for a long time thought it would be wonderful to have children grow up by the beach." Sirius smiled at her. "When we come back, we will go there together. As a family"

Hermione kissed him. Smiling as she pulled away "It sounds perfect. I feel bad because I haven't even thought that far."

Sirius chuckled as he pulled her back into another kiss. "Well there is a way to make you feel better about neglecting details." He crooned.

"Why Mr Black! One might believe the rumours around here." Hermione said breathlessly as she smiled affectionately at him. Sirius's brow rose, as his had slipped under her sweater caressing the smooth skin of her stomach, tracing the scar updwards.

"Oh? And what rumours are they?" His voice rough. Hermione snickered as she stood up pulling Sirius with her.

"The ones where they think it was you that seduced me, not the other way around." She said leading him to his bedroom.

"Oh, Princess, you have no idea how true that is." Sirius muttered as he let her lead this dance.