Chapter 24 - Tipsy-Turvy

Legosi stood in front of the small mirror they took from Gosha's, attempting to brush his fur to cover the scar over his eye, just as he had dozens of times before. Of course, it didn't work. He looked back down at his outfit, consisting of the new pink shirt and jeans, legs rolled up just as he preferred. He turned to his fiance, busily cooking in the kitchen area. "Okay, imagine you don't know me and you came to a store to learn about bugs and this is the animal you see working there. Do you think it fits?"

"Are you asking me if I'd see you and want to take you on a date?" Louis tilted his head.

The wolf held his hands up. "No no! This is different than the story we made up. Like, does this outfit make me look non-threatening? Casual, yet professional?"

"You look like a real cutie," Louis said, coming over and kissing his cheek.

Legosi tried to frown. "Th-that doesn't help..." Of course, he couldn't resist kissing back.

His fiance smiled. "Sorry. You look very presentable."

"Thanks. I hope Mel-san can get me more work next week." Legosi sniffed the air. "Almost ready?"

"Just a little longer." The deer's small and puffy tail wiggled. "For an old man, you sure dress nicely."

The canine grumbled to himself as he turned away. He walked over to the window and peered out. The view was actually quite pleasant, despite their location. "Did you ever find out how we can do our dishes?" he asked the deer.

"Oh. Yeah, no, not really."

"Guess we can ask Sebun-san when she arrives."

"Sounds good. And smells good."

"It really does! I'm really excited." Legosi continued to stare at all the animals on the street below, soaking up the pure happiness he felt at that moment. Just a few days ago, it felt as if his world ended, but it was only temporary. His tail waved back and forth with his optimism.

"Yeah...Me, too. I just hope it tastes good. I haven't made lasagne before."

"I'm sure it'll be amazing! You're so talented, Lou!" his mate gushed, stepping away from the window and moving to the table so he could lean down onto it.

"Am I? I mean, it's just something I've learned..." He came over and leaned down on the other side.

The wolf touched their noses together. "Everything is something someone's learned."

"You learned to be such a cute booper?"

"Uh...I guess so?" Legosi couldn't keep up with these strange words Louis would invent.

"Well, you are." He rested his head on his hands, his tail wiggling behind him.

"Does 'booper' have anything to do with 'meep'?" Legosi smiled.

"Oh. No, I don't think so," he laughed.

"...Sometimes I wonder if you're really the same deer that I first met at Cherryton. Seeing the real you is so wonderful."

"I'm still me, Legosi. I just...changed."

"I know...it's just interesting to think about. I know I've changed, too."

"...Yeah."

There was a soft knock at the door, which seemed to be becoming a common occurrence. Legosi perked up, tail wagging. "Sebun-san is here!"

"Yeah, I am." The sheep's amused voice was muffled by the door.

Louis laid his top half on the table, sighing.

"You okay, hon?" Legosi rubbed his large hand over his back.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Are you going to let her in?"

"Yeah, are you gonna let me in?"

Legosi took the short trip to the door and let their neighbor inside. She immediately sniffed the air. "Ohh, that smells really good, guys!"

Louis got up. "Thanks, Sebun-san. I worked hard on it, so I'm hoping it's good."

She took a seat before noticing. "Oh...how will this work with only two chairs?"

"I can sit on the couch," Louis offered.

"Maybe we could all sit on it?" Sebun suggested. "This table is a bit big for me, anyhow."

"What do you think, Legosi?"

"I like that idea. That way I can sit next to you."

The other herbivore giggled at how forward the wolf was.

"I almost offered to sit on your lap," Louis stated.

Legosi's eyes widened. "Wait, you still can!"

The deer laughed, looking at Sebun. "No way I'd be getting out of that one."

His partner, seemingly unable to keep apart anymore, hugged Louis from behind.

The buck smiled. "So, how was your day, Sebun-san?"

Sebun groaned. "Shitty. I was looking forward to this all day, honestly."

Louis' ears perked. "Really?"

"Yeah." She moved over to the couch and hopped onto it. "How about you guys? Everything okay?"

"What do you think of Legosi's outfit?"

The small herbivore looked up at the tall figure before her and beamed at him. "Handsome as hell is what he is!"

"I know, right!" Louis waved a hand in an effeminate fashion, excitedly.

"I work for a sporting goods company, so I would love to just take him out somewhere and use him as a model!"

Legosi blushed over the fact two herbivores were gushing over him.

"You hear that, honey? A model!" Louis clapped.

The dog blushed even deeper. "N-no way. Not someone like me..."

"You've got a dark, mysterious charm to you, Legosi-kun. You could definitely use it." Sebun held her fingers out in front of her, emulating a border that encapsulated the wolf as her subject.

He pointed to Louis. "What about him? He's so handsome!"

"That he is," their neighbor agreed.

Louis posed, playfully. "Naturally."

Legosi placed loving licks on his cheek while Sebun laughed.

The deer continued talking. "Get me as your model and the next thing you know, everyone is wearing eyepatches."

"It looks very cool on you, hon!"

"Very cool!" Sebun clapped. Hanging out with these young adults was bringing her back.

"I guess I do look pretty cool, even if the way I lost it was physically and mentally scarring." Louis mumbled the last part.

"Ah, y-yeah..." Legosi glanced nervously at their guest.

"Louis told me all about how you two started dating," Sebun explained. "So I know the story about his eye."

"I see..."

"Mhm," the deer nodded. "It's quite a story."

The lasagne was ready and Louis went to the kitchen area to prepare a plate for everyone, leaving Legosi and Sebun to talk while he did so.

"Oh, should I bring some wine over? I don't know if you guys would want some." Sebun offered.

"Ah, maybe? I've never had alcohol before," Legosi admitted.

"I've had it before," Louis said. "At Horns. That's fine, Sebun-san."

"I'll be right back!" And the little sheep was off.

Legosi sat there quietly, the only noise in the room coming from Louis preparing the food.

The small footsteps returned, and Sebun entered with a bottle of wine and glasses. "Ta-da! Now dinner will be really good!"

Louis made a sound of approval, having distributed the plates while she was gone. "Find your places and let's dig in."

Despite what Dr. Hiroto said about komodo dragons being naturally resistant to drugs, alcohol seemed to still affect Legosi. He turned his nose up a bit when he had his first sip, but after two glasses he was in a state of almost perpetual laughing, his cheeks a permanent rosy color where the fur on his face was thinnest.

Louis handled his alcohol a little better, but he was still buzzed. "Sebun-san, this wine is delicious. Do you have it all the time?"

"Ohh, no no, it was a gift from my boss. Fuck that guy! But good wine...good wine." She stared longingly at the now empty bottle. The little animal had had more glasses than either of them and this was pretty strong wine.

Legosi burst out laughing. "Fuck that guy! Ahahahha! F-fuuuck that guy! Thash funny, Sebun-saaan!"

Louis sipped the dark red liquid from his glass, grinning. "Fuck that guy, huh? What's the story behind that?'

Legosi stifled his laughs with Louis' shoulder while Sebun sighed.

"Well, after spending years in school working t'ward it, landing a job in sales for our company, he fuckin' decides to pull me cuz..." She hiccupped. "What'd he say..'not very convincing' for a lil' sheep like me to be in the sales department? Then he started callin' me the office 'therapy animal' and only has me around to get man-handled by all the fuckin' carnivores there! Piece of shit badger bastard, I'll kill him one day." Sebun lulled her head back after her rant, watching the room spin.

The little sheep's tirade just made Legosi laugh more.

Louis chuckled. "Oh ho. Killing someone, huh? That doesn't seem like...something you'd do, Sebun-san." He patted Legosi's arm. "Calm down, hon."

"Lemme live my fantasy!" Sebun retorted.

The wolf managed to calm down, only by licking Louis' ear.

"I usedta fantasize about," A small burp, "Killing my father. I really debated on doing it back at Hornssss." The alcohol was starting to kick in, now. It had been over the last few minutes.

"Then BLAM!" Legosi shot his arms out, dramatically.

"Yep, I remember that part of the story, too! You two really could make it into a movie," Sebun smiled, genuinely.

"Didn't Pina say that, also?" Legosi asked his mate.

"Mhmhmhm...Oh my god! I know! I should be a smart deer and write it!" Louis giggled. "People would eat our story up! Oh my god, I'm so smart!"

"Smarty smarty!" Legosi noogied the deer's antlerless head.

"Smart and handsome! What more could you ever wannnt?" Louis poked Sebun. "You need a smarty handsome deer tooooo."

"Mmm, I need someone, that's for sure. You guys're makin me jealous." She perked up as she noticed something. "Oh, Legosi, dear. You got some food on your cheek."

"Oh?" The canine reached all over his face, missing it each time.

"No no, right!" Legosi went left. "Louis help him!"

The deer opened his mouth and wrapped it around his cheek. "Yom, yom, yom."

"Ahh! I'm bein' eaten by deer!" Legosi squirmed in Louis' grasp.

Louis wrapped his arm around him, nibbling his cheek more. "Mmm, deliciousss!"

Legosi giggled, addressing Sebun again. "Thanks for noticin' that food, mom."

The buck's ears perked and he snorted, laughing as he laid back in Sebun's lap and looked up at her. "Ooh, he called you mooom!"

Sebun froze, the drunkenness forced from her mind suddenly. Legosi also seemed to experience the same once he realized what he said.

Louis continued laughing on her lap. "You guys are so funny and dummmb!"

"Hehehe...yeah..." Sebun scratched at her wool while Legosi clumsily stood up and gathered their glasses.

The deer was still in her lap, looking up. "I think it'sss sooo cute!"

She pat his head. "I-I don't know. Makes me feel old and sad."

Legosi sat back down next to them once he was finished, grabbing his deer's butt.

Louis' ears perked again. "Oop! Frisky wisky wolfie...uh...shwolfie!"

The wolf squeezed. "Cute butt." He reached up and grabbed his little tail. "Cute tail."

"Ooohoohoo, Sebunnnn, he's so naughty," he purred.

"Woah, not with me here, guys." She readjusted on the couch, shifting away from the loving couple. "Weren't we supposed to talk about party planning?"

"Oh! Are you throwing a party?" Louis gasped. "I've never been to one of thooose." He looked at her stomach. "How many months?"

Sebun smacked the deer's head, gently. "Idiot! The party we're throwing on the roof!"

Legosi burst out laughing, once again.

Louis put a hand on his head. "Eek! Legoshiii she's attacking meee!" He went to his mate and cowered.

The dog embraced him, whispering nonsense into his ears while peppering his head with kisses.

"You guys are druuunk!" Sebun revealed, surprising nobody.

Louis' face became blank. "I've never been more sober in my life." Then he snorted, bursting out laughing. "Hahaha! I'm dumb, too!"

Sebun grinned. "And you said you were so smart."

"He is!" Legosi insisted. "Smart and handsome..." He kissed Louis tenderly on the mouth.

Louis kissed back messily with his tongue. "You're such a baaad dog, wolfie..."

Legosi's ears folded. "N-nooo." He hid his face in shame.

The cervid slapped his cheek. "Take a joooke!"

"B-but I wanna hear you call me...the opposite of thaaat."

Louis leaned toward Sebun. "He's a very good dog. So...when are you due? Are we inviiited to your partyyyy?"

Legosi, having heard those words, sprung up and began to excitedly spin around the room. "Wheeeeee! Partyyyy!"

Sebun pushed Louis' face away. "Seriously, I'm not pregnant." She was actually beginning to feel angry.

"But you said you were throwing a baby showerrrr!"

"No, it's the party to get to know all of our neighbors! It's why you invited me to dinner tonight! To plan it over." She rolled her eyes. It was a bad idea to bring these young animals wine. She was supposed to be the responsible adult but she fucked it up. Now, Legosi was jumping around the room like an excited puppy.

Louis squinted. "Well, maybe you should throw a baby shower, mom." He gasped. "I have an idea! We should throw one and invite all the residents! And we can have it on the roof!" He grinned with a confident smile. "I'm so smart."

Sebun sighed. "Yeah! Rooftop party. The receptionist said it should be fine to hold, but we'd need to get the word out ourselves. So any ideas?"

"Louis wins again!" The deer cheered. "You wanna know whyyyyy?" He reached up and poked her forehead.

"...Why?"

"I know a nerd!"

"What's that got to do with it?"

"He can make us a website so that way your manager can advertise his store better!" He tapped his chin. "Wait a minute, that was something else..."

Sebun blinked. "Well...I was thinking we could just make some handmade fliers and hang them around or something."

"We can get the nerd to do that, too! His name is Mongoose and he's a Kai." He chuckled. "He has a boyfriend named Bird. What a stupid name."

The sheep started to feel dizzy, and not just from the alcohol.

Suddenly, the two animals heard a heavy THUMP next to them. Looking over, it seemed the energetic wolf had slipped and was now lying on his side.

Louis turned his head, then he pointed, laughing loudly. "Dumb wolf! The floor isn't made of ice! Get up."

Sebun looked over at his large form in concern. "Louis..."

After a moment, Legosi rolled over, laughing his ass off. "Woah! Hahahhaha! Woaaaah!"

"Aw c'mooon," he waved her off. "He's fiiine!"

"I'm fiiine." The wolf crawled over and pulled the deer's legs, bringing him to the floor.

"Wup! There I gooo!" He slid down, then hit his head on the floor. "Oof!"

Legosi crawled up and laid over his legs, sniffing at his stomach. "Hi, Lou!"

Sebun rolled her eyes, but couldn't help smile. She couldn't believe these two had had such a messy breakup just a few days prior.

"Hiii Legosi!" Louis waved.

"We're on the floor! Issn't that craaazy?"

"Meeeeep!"

Sebun stretched out across the couch, sighing. She figured she ought to wait for them to sober up before talking about the party planning.

"Love you, Louuu!"

The deer looked at the ceiling, his vision a little fuzzy. "Whoo, whoo! Love you, too!"

Legosi got up so he could straddle Louis' thighs. "Sebun-san, gonna come to're wedding?"

The sheep turned her face, rubbing it on the cushion. "I suppose I will. Keepin' you two away from any booze, though."

"Whaaat!" Louis gasped. "Nooo, it's fun! I'm fun! Fun guy, whoo!"

"Lasagne deer. New name." Legosi poked his nose.

"Old man," the lasagne deer chuckled.

"Waaaugh! No! I'm young and spry still!" Legosi harrumphed.

Louis leaned forward, to his ear. "Old people say 'young and spry'," he whispered.

Legosi covered his face. "Noooo!"

"Yesssss!"

"B-but then you'll leave meee!" He whined.

"I never said thaaat babyyyyy!" Louis pulled him close and kissed his chest and neck.

"Baaaabe!" Legosi squeezed back, kissing his head.

Louis moved up and kissed his cheeks. "Ehehehe."

"Shoulda just bought some booze and you guys woulda made up a lot quicker," Sebun mumbled to herself.

Louis turned his head. "Not truuue! Liar!"

Legosi ducked down and slipped his snout under Louis' shirt.

The deer laid back, giggling. "That feels goood! Sebun, ever had wolf up your shirt?"

"You know for a fact that I'm a lonely almost-30-year-old woman, Louis. Stop being so cruel." She reached up to wipe her eyes.

The deer closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling on his stomach. "Maybe you'll meet someone at your baby shower."

"Maybe." Sebun slid off the couch, taking the empty bottle with her. "I'll stop by again tomorrow and follow up. Thanks for having me over and making dinner! I'll leave you two alone, now."

"Don't leeeave!" the buck called. "You brought the fun juice!"

"Yeah, and it's all gone. I had fun, really, boys! But I need to get ready for bed for work and stuff. Bleh, work."

Louis laughed. "Okay, byyyye!"

Sebun headed back to her room, trying to be annoyed at the two but she couldn't keep a smile from her face.

Back in room 504, Legosi pulled his face from Louis' shirt again. "Wroww. Wine maksh you smell diffrent..."

"In a sexy way?" The deer grinned.

"Mmmh, you're always sexyy." Legosi licked his neck.

Louis chuckled, rubbing down his chest, stomach, and to his thighs. "Am I now, naughty wolf?~"

"Uh, yeah! Naughty deer!~"

His lover continued to rub his thighs. "Maybe you should show me how naughty you can beee~"

"Hmmmm~" Legosi followed the intoxicating scent of the deer down to his zipper. "Guess we'll start here."