[I'm like the water when your ship rolled in that night, rough on the surface but you cut through like a knife. And if it was open/shut case, I never would've known from that look on your face. Lost in your current like a priceless wine.]

"We should go to the beach."

Addison looked up from the book of baby names that she was reading. "What?"

"We should go to the beach."

"No."

"Why?"

"I'm almost seven months pregnant."

"So you can't go to the beach...?"

"I can, but no one would want to see me at the beach."

"I would. And considering the beach is literally your back yard, I would say that's all that matters."

Addison looks at him for a moment and then turns her attention back to her book. "I'm reading."

"So read later, or bring your book with. Come on Addie, I've been living in Seattle with rain and clouds. I wanna be in the sunlight and water with my hot wife."

"Girlfriend."

"Huh?"

"I'm your girlfriend. Not wife, you divorced me."

"I can change that."

"Don't you dare!"

"You don't want to marry me?"

"Derek, I love you. But first of all, that's a terrible proposal. And second, I don't want to think about marriage. Not right now. I just want to focus on her."

Derek smiles sweetly at Addison, and rubs her baby bump. "I'm happy to focus on her. And preferably at the beach today."

"Derek..."

"What?"

"I don't want to go to the beach..."

"Why?"

Addison remained silent.

"Addie?"

"I'm pregnant Derek. Very pregnant."

"Are you...self conscious?" Derek said surprised. He'd never really Addison to be self conscious of her looks. She was a beautiful woman, a very beautiful woman. And she knew this, she had always known this. Addison held her head high always, held herself with class and elegance. Addison was a confident person. She was the perfect proportion of beauty, sexiness, and well, cute. Seeing her question herself was new, it wasn't something he expected.

"Yeah. My body is not my body anymore."

"Addie. I've seen your body. Several times..."

"Yes, but in the dark or a dim room, and in a bed with sheets and covers."

"Addison..."

"I know this pregnancy is a miracle and I am grateful I am! Its just-"

"Addison."

"What?"

"I have seen your body. I love your body. I really love your body. I am in awe of your body. And tonight, I will slow you just how much I love your body."

Addison smiled at his words. Her cheeks turning a rosy shade of pink as she blushed. "Fine. We'll go to the beach."

It was hard for her to say 'no' to Derek when he such the perfect thing with his perfect smile. Usually she was argue more but with the look in his eye as he gazed at her, she could tell he was being genuine. Though she was insecure about the new curves and shape of her body, Derek loved these things about her. Derek loved her body. Derek loved her. She let that sink in.

[The more that you say, the less I know. Wherever you stray, I follow. I'm begging for you to take my hand, wreck my plans, that's my man.]

Derek stood behind Addison, his arms wrapped around her securely as the waves crashed against their legs. He was starting to understand the appeal of LA. Not that he didn't like it before, he just didn't know it before. His main focus was just Addison and the baby. But now he was trying to get to know LA, his new home.

He found a coffee shop near by that he likes, he made it part of his daily routine to stop on his way to work. He found a couple of nice restaurants that he planned on taking Addison to. He even found a place to rent boats. He was even starting to get used to the practice and the hospital thee. It wasn't as busy and chaotic as Seattle Grace, but he liked that. He liked coming home to Addison every night. And on time. He liked LA.

"Have you found any names you like?" He asked before kissing her cheek.

"None that I love." Addison said with a sigh. "I want her name to be...unique. She's special, her name should be special."

"Bizzy have any suggestions?"

Addison laughed. "None that I would even consider."

Derek took her hand in his and they walked along the shore. Addison allowed silence to fall over them for a long moment before speaking up.

"Does your family know...?" Her voice was soft and she kept her eyes down looking at the waves.

"About?"

"Me, the baby, LA...all of it."

"No."

"Oh..."

"Addie.."

"No, its fine. I get it. Its complicated, we're complicated. And your family aren't really big fans of mine."

Derek stopped walking and turned to face Addison. He stroked her cheek before tucking a strand of red hair behind her ear, then resting her hands on her side. He wanted until Addison looked him in the eyes before giving her a reassuring smile.

"I haven't told my family yet because honestly, I've been caught up in this blissful bubble of being with you and our daughter. Its been two weeks since I've gotten to LA and I've been focused on you, and ultrasounds, and baby books, and breakfast, and getting to know LA. I've been so unbelievably happy that I wanted to stay in the bubble before telling my family. You know Shepherds don't do well with boundaries."

Addison rolled her eyes and chuckled in agreement.

"This may have started in a complicated, messy way. But this is simple for me. I love you, and I love this baby. That's all that matters. I will tell my family, and they'll be happy. My family is still your family Addison. Nancy still loves you. And Amelia still adores you. Everything is going to be okay Addie, I promise you."

Addison took a deep breathe and nodded, allowing a smile to take hold of her lips. "Thank you Derek." She leaned forward and captured his lips, kissing him softly. "And I love you too."

[Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind. Head on the pillow, I could feel you sneaking in. As if you were a mythical thing, like you were a trophy or a champion ring. There was one prize I would cheat to win.]

They had spent half the day the day at the beach. Walking in the waves, talking about baby names, just enjoying being in each other arms. Being nearly seven months pregnant though, Addison got tired easily. And hungry. So after awhile they headed back home.

They take turns showering and while Addison does her evening moisturizing routine, Derek goes down stairs to start dinner for them. It was becoming routine for him to cook for them, he considered it fair since she was the one currently cooking their child. Besides, he remembered all the times Addison had tried cooking for them back in New York, they had both agreed to leave the cooking to him.

Just as Derek prepared to start cooking, his phone went off. The name the caller ID read made his heart sink. Meredith. This couldn't be good. He took a deep breath before answering the call.

"Hello?...I'm good Meredith. Why exactly are you calling me?"

Addison's daily routines had gotten longer. All of them. Mainly because her nearly seven month pregnant stomach and pregnancy exhaustion caused her to move a lot slower. Her after shower skin care and moisturizing routine had an extra added step of belly care to prevent stretch marks. She told Derek to go ahead and start dinner and she would meet him downstairs to help. By help, it usually meant just hugging him from behind and snacking as he cook.

Addison put on a pair of pajama shorts and slipped on one of Derek's flannels before heading downstairs. She paused in the doorway, seeing he was on the phone. When she heard him end the phone call, heard who was talking to, she stopped breathing.

"Meredith, it's okay. I'll come back, I'll be there." Derek sighed as he hung up the phone, running his fingers through his hair.

"Mer-Meredith...you were talking to Meredith..." Addison voice was small, stuttered, like she had to force the words out.

Derek immediately stood up, startled not only by Addison but the pain in her voice. "Addison..." His heart raced looking at her. She was pale, her hands shaking shaking, tears falling from her eyes.

"You...you're back to Seattle...you're going...you're going back to Meredith..." With each word her breathing turned to hyperventilating.

"Addison, you need to calm down. Breathe honey." Derek rushed to her. He took one of his hands in his and placed his other against her cheek. "Look at me, Addison, look at me."

Addison struggled to look at him, and when she did she looked terrified. "Derek-I can't-I can't...!"

"Breathe, I know. Look at me honey, focus on me. You're gonna get through this, we're going to get through his okay? I just need you focus on me, listen to me. Don't talk, just listen."

Addison nodded and did as Derek said. She kept her eyes looking into his and held onto him as much as her shaking hands allowed it.

"I want you to breathe with me okay? We're gonna take deep, slow breaths."

Addison nodded again, as Derek took a deep breath so did she. She wasn't quite sure how long they were breathing for, but eventually it worked and her breathing evened out. Her trembling hands slowed and the exhaustion started to sink in.

"Derek...I'm dizzy.."

He leaned her body against his and walked her over to the couch, helping her sit down. Addison refused to let go of his hand and guided him to sit with her. He sat with her, holding her close and rubbing her back from while, until he was certain she was calm. Derek never question Naomi when she had told him what Addison had been through, but he never imagined it would be something he would experience with her. He had seen Addison under a lot of pressure and handle countless hard situation, never once did it send her into a panic attack. It broke his heart to see her like that.

"You okay?"

"Yeah...I'm sorry.

"Don't be sorry Addie. I'm sorry that you've been dealing with these."

"It doesn't happen that often."

"But often enough."

Addison remained silent as Derek stroked her hair. The gesture was simple but it was her favorite. It was soothing and reassuring, and it made her feel loved.

"Addison. Meredith called me about a case she needs help with. That's it. Its not a one way plane ticket. I'm going to go there, do the surgery, make sure the patients is on the right road to recovery, and come right back to you. Do you hear me Addison? I'm going to come back to you."

"This is my dream Derek, this is everything I wanted. You, me, a baby, a career. You show up and give me my dream and I am terrified that this is too good to be true. I keep waiting for the shoe to drop, and when I heard you talking to Meredith I...I thought that was the shoe dropping.."

Derek tilted Addison's head up and kissed her. "Expect good things Addie."

[The more that you say, the less I know. Wherever you stray, I follow. I'm begging for you to take my hand, wreck my plans, that's my man. You know that my train could take you home, anywhere else is hollow. I'm begging for you to take my hand, wreck my plans, that's my man.]

Derek hadn't stopped thinking about Addison's panic attack. They went from laughing and kissing and talking about baby names at the beach to her being so worried she couldn't breathe. He wanted to show her he was serious, prove to her that he wasn't going anywhere. It took him a couple days to figure out a plan but he did. One that he loved and he hoped Addison would too.

Derek got home that night to find Addison sitting in bed, glasses resting on the tip of her nose as she read. He stood in the door way for a moment to admire how beautiful she was. He forgot how much he loved when she wore glasses.

"What to Expect when You're Expecting? Shouldn't you know that given its your career?"

Addison rolled her eyes. "That's what I told Naomi but she said I should read them because I'm the mother not the doctor."

"She has a point. Being on the other side is different."

"Yeah...it really is." Addison said softly, putting her hand on her baby bump.

"I got you something."

"You got me something?"

"I got you something."

Derek places a small velvet box in Addison's lap and watch her eyes widen.

"Derek I said-"

"I know what you said. Just open it."

Addison opened the velvet, her mouth dropped open as she saw the ring inside.

"Derek...!"

"Its not an engagement ring, this isn't a proposal. Its a promise. I'm promising that I'm choosing you, that I love you, and that I'm going to be here for you. The ring-the blue gem, its our daughters birthstone, and the band, its a willow branch. I looked up the meaning of the willow, it has a lot of different meanings: strength, love, hope, healing. It can symbolize letting go and starting new. All things which have a lot of meaning to us. I'd like to name our daughter Willow."

Addison just smiles as tears for in her eyes.

"What do you think?"

"I think that was a proposal, just not a marriage proposal."

"Oh...I guess it was. Well, do you accept my name proposal?"

"Willow Montgomery-Shepherd...it does sound nice."

Derek smiles. "So is that a yes?"

Addison looks at him and smiles, giving him a nod. "I accept your name proposal."

Derek places the ring on Addison's finger and then kisses her. "I love you."

[Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind. They count me out time and time again. Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind, but I come back stronger then a 90s trend. Wait for a signal and I'll meet you after dark. Show me the places where the others gave you scars. Now this is a open/shut case, I guess I should have known from the look on your face. Every bait and switch was a work of art.]