Chapter 52 - Heartbeat For Comfort

Louis was shaking in his sleep and making noises. "No...no...Ngggh...Legosi! Don't hurt him!" He called, and then began thrashing about.

His leg smacked Legosi, rousing him from sleep. Hearing his name made him alert. He felt the deer in his arms, thrashing, so he pulled him closer and started licking his face.

"Lou...Lou, hon...I'm here...I'm okay."

The buck opened his eyes. "...Legosi?"

"Lou!" The wolf embraced him and nuzzled into him. "Lou, I'm here...I'm here."

"They killed you...they killed you...The blood..." He sniffled. "Oh, god..."

Legosi shook his head. "No. No, I'm still here, see?" He took Louis' hands and brought them against his chest. "I'm here, and I'm breathing."

Louis moved to put his ear against his chest, listening to the heartbeat. "The claws..."

"Hm? My claws, hon?"

"No...the...metal ones..."

"Oh, in the dream?"

"Yeah..."

Legosi squeezed him closer. "It's okay. I'm alive. They don't know what's going on. And I'm going to train and learn to fight so I can protect myself. I'll get stronger, Lou."

"Mmm..." Louis clutched his arm. "You shouldn't have to..."

"I know...but we have to." Legosi's chest hurt as he looked upon the wreck that was his husband, eye puffed up and quivering. And it was all because he cared. He cared so much for him. The wolf's own eyes began to tear up. "W-we have to, Lou. It'll be okay. I promise."

"We're between something I really don't want to be in between. Can't we just...run away?"

"Where would we go?" His husband asked.

"...I don't know. It's probably more dangerous to run, isn't it?"

"Unless we have a plan, yeah. Gouhin-san and Melon-san know, so we have them to help. Maybe even Oguma-san if we tell him."

"No. Absolutely not, Gosi. We can't tell Oguma. They'd kill him instantly."

"Mmmm." Legosi nuzzled into Louis more. "When do you have to go back?"

"What time is it?"

Legosi reached over to his phone and looked. "It's 2:14."

"Today, then." He groaned, sniffing. "I'll listen to what he says."

"And I'll be at work today." Legosi reached down and stroked his stomach. "Maybe...we can set some furniture up in front of the door after we lock it so we know if someone comes in while we're gone."

"That might be smart. I have a feeling they won't do anything if I cooperate, though. It's my fault we got deeper threats, after all."

Legosi rubbed his chin on top of Louis' head, scratching an itch with the antler stubs coming in. "And then you can learn some things to tell Melon-san."

"Anything to keep you alive..."

The canine nodded, which Louis couldn't see, but feel. In fact, he couldn't see anything since the cardboard blockers were still in the windows.

The wolf spoke again. "If we meet up with him, maybe it'd be best if I go alone, to avoid suspicion?"

"That means I'll feed information to you, which in turn, you feed to him. There's just...one thing..."

"Hm? What is it?"

"I don't...trust your ability to keep a secret. You gave me away back there."

"Gave you away how?"

"I was trying to keep Imaginary Chimeras a secret and he knew I was lying because of you."

Legosi whined. "I-it's not my fault. He just knew about canine body language..."

"And you think Ichi wouldn't? He knows you're a wolf, Legosi! That could be a very bad thing."

"Well, hopefully I'll never have to see Ichi, right?"

"As if that could even happen. You will, one day."

"I hope not," Legosi murmured. "But...if it does happen one day...maybe I can show him I'm not bad. I mean, I was able to show you I wasn't bad."

"Not Ichi. Not so easily. He has a whole group of people that think all carnivores are meat eaters. They will kill you if they find out you know about them. Please, don't give us away. You can't fix this with talking. Remember what happened with Riz? It took a throat slit for him to realize he was wrong."

Legosi grew quiet. "I'm not...I won't do anything. I'll just go about my life normally."

Louis let the heartbeat calm him. "This can all fall apart with one wrong move. In my dream...Go and Ni came in and..." He just swallowed at the end.

"Are they really that dangerous?"

"I haven't seen the extent of what they can do...It was just a dream. But your guts...I feel sick."

"It's okay. It's okay." Legosi stroked his head. "Just think...think about our home in that small town where everyone knows us. We knew it wasn't going to be easy."

"It's not this hard for anyone, Gosi. On top of society troubles, now all this...It's this 4. I'm just the most unlucky animal there is."

"Well...I love you, still. And I'll always be here. And there's still good things in your life."

"You won't be here if they fucking *kill* you. Do you not get that?"

"I do, but they won't kill me," Legosi stated with conviction.

Louis groaned. "You don't know anything. Did you know we'd meet Melon last night? No, you didn't. Things are out of our control!"

"Meeting Melon-san was a good thing, though! He's another ally."

"We don't know that! He could be using us for his own game. Pawns in the larger chess game. That's all we are. Melon and Ichi are the kings and we have to do what they say now. I just...hate this. You have to swear you won't tell Oguma or anyone anything."

Legosi squeezed Louis tighter. "I won't! I promise. And...I don't think Melon-san is bad. You heard what he said about the mask party and society! Plus, since he's a hybrid, he must have a rough life. Even if he might be the leader of a black market gang...I don't think he's bad. Plus, it's the Shishigumi, which Oguma-san and we have dealt with. I want to have hope, Lou."

"Anyone can be bad, Gosi."

"Well...he can't be worse than Ichi."

"Or he can be just as bad! We don't know until we know."

"I don't know," Legosi whispered. He sniffed. "I'll be careful with him, though."

"This is making me depressed again, to be honest."

"Well, we have that therapy coming up. But...we can't talk about this," Legosi drooped.

"Whatever." Louis laid down and turned away. "It's just our life. No breaks."

Legosi whined. "Are you mad at me?"

"Of course not."

The dog wrapped around him. "Okay. Thank you for telling me."

The buck shook his head. "We need to set up some rules so we don't get caught."

"Yes," Legosi agreed. "Any ideas?"

"No telling anyone."

"Yeah, of course."

"Uh...maybe you shouldn't go to the black market unless absolutely necessary."

"I don't go there, anyway, although I did want to ask Gouhin if he could train me. I guess that's too risky."

"Didn't you want to train with Bill? Oh, but knowing you, you might give us away."

"Yeah, plus I meant that more as a, uh, friendship bonding thing. Plus, I don't think he trains in fighting."

"Well, we haven't even had to fight anything yet, thank goodness."

Legosi murmured, cuddling up to Louis as he felt sleep coming once more.

It was one of those nights where Louis didn't sleep and the time didn't feel like it was moving and before he knew it, the sun was up.

Louis was told that San would be meeting him at the entrance to the black market. He said goodbye to Legosi before he left and then made his way tiredly to the alpaca, seeing him already waiting there. His eyes had bags under them due to the lack of sleep.

"Morning, Louis," San greeted, his smile fading when he saw the deer's face. "Do you have a mask?"

Louis took it out of his satchel. "Right here."

The alpaca took a look at it. "Huh, I knew it'd be a wolf mask. C'mon, let's get goin'."

"Everyone knew it would be a wolf mask..." He mumbled, putting it away, and they started on the journey to the tower.

"I bet it looks good on you," San commented. "What did your husband think of it?"

"He likes my natural face more, I think. How are you?"

"Oh, well, just waiting for you to come back. Our next operation isn't going to start until Ichi deems you ready. And before you ask, no I'm not allowed to talk about the operation before Ichi tells you about it."

"Ah...okay. I meant how are you, personally?"

"Hm? Um, alright, I guess. I'm happy you're with us, but I'm also...not happy with how you've been treated."

"I get treated how I treat them. I'll...change, though."

"Change?"

"Yeah. Improve."

"Ah. That'll get everyone to accept you more, then." San continued along, biting his nails. "I've also been thinking about your husband, and the pictures you showed me. I realized I've never really sat down and talked with a carnivore in like, a regular conversation. Not since I was a kid at the orphanage, at least."

"They're amazing. Don't tell Ichi I said that, though." Louis rubbed his arm, imagining Legosi's heartbeat from last night. It calmed him.

"Well, it's not a mystery. I mean, the way you reacted to that coyote told me everything. Me and Kyuu know your feelings for carnivores. Of course, Ichi doesn't need to know so we won't tell him. I think it's a useful perspective for our work." San smiled, trying to remain upbeat.

"I...Yeah. I don't want anyone there hating me, though. So I'll just...try and be kind from now on. Even to...Go, I guess, though I think he'll hate me forever just for being with Legosi."

San hummed. "Well, that's because of his sister, so I wouldn't take it personally. Honestly, I'd love to meet your husband,but I know that's not possible as long as Ichi says he's not allowed to know about us." The alpaca sighed. "You've already got me thinking about stuff and you've only been back in our life a few days, Shi. I mean, Louis."

"Ichi won't change, though. And neither will Go. I'm just...nervous to see him again. I hope I can control myself."

"I believe in you, Louis. Just remember that we all have to call you Shi at the base."

"Thank you, San."

San put a comforting hand on his shoulder and rubbed it before taking it off. The rest of the trip was in silence.

Inside the tower, the two made their way up the basement steps again. This time, Go was watching the door.

The red panda looked at the deer, skeptically. "Great. The carni fucker is back. I have a question for you."

Louis raised his brow. "Yes?"

"Are you suicidal? You must be to be with someone who could kill you at any moment."

Louis rolled his eyes. "Yes, I am. I've attempted multiple times before and have depression."

Go blinked. "Oh."

The deer sighed. "I have no negative feelings against you. I heard what happened to your sister and I'm sorry. I know you hate me because I'm an asshole and I'm dating a carnivore, but we are part of a team, so you're going to have to get over it and I suggest it be soon, for everyone."

Go blinked, his jaw open at being spoken to like that. He crossed his arms, tapping the metal claws on them. "..."

The deer smiled. "Good luck on door duty. San?"

"Is it open, Go?" The wooly herbivore asked, indicating the door.

The red panda made a face. "Yeah...It is."

The two walked past, San giving the red panda a smile as they entered. The main lobby was empty, and if it were any other situation or place, it might have been seen as beautiful the way nature was reclaiming it.

Louis looked to his alpaca guide. "So where is Ichi?"

"I can tell you the answer is usually in his office. It's near the top, but not all the way at the top, where the commencement took place. I can call him or I can take you there."

"Just take me there."

"No need."

They both turned and saw Ichi descending the stairs. "San, I'll take it from here. Thank you for fetching him."

"Sure thing, Ichi." San gave Louis a worried glance before walking off.

The buck blinked. "How did you know we were here?"

"Coincidence," Ichi stated, dryly. "How did you like the party?"

"I loved it." Louis opened his satchel and took out the mask. "And I completed the mission."

Ichi looked down, scowl apparent on his face. "Knew it'd be a wolf," he mumbled. "And I knew you'd enjoy yourself at such a celebration of degeneracy. Are you going to challenge me now?"

Louis smiled. "You look nice today, by the way. Thanks for sending me to such a nice place."

Ichi sighed. "I see. Well, it's more tolerable than what you were doing last time, so I'll take it, Louis."

The buck just stood there, grinning.

"Will you follow me if I start walking or do I have to drag you?" Ichi asked.

"Dragging might be fun," Louis joked.

"You're skinny enough, so it wouldn't be a problem." Ichi turned and walked back toward the stairs. "I have many things to discuss and show you today. I would prefer to start as soon as we can."

"I'm following you."

"Thanks." Ichi sighed and put his hands in his pockets. "You know, I don't think I've ever met a more insufferable animal. And the fact that it's you is so confusing."

"You're welcome, deer," Louis teased.

"Alright, Shi." Ichi plodded up the steps, his combat boots loud with each impact.

Legosi's husband followed him, wondering what his wolf was up to at work and then thinking about last night...Last night was...wow.

They ascended flight upon flight of steps, passing by other members periodically, who would just stare.

Louis just gave small smiles to them as they went. "Are we almost there?"

"Be patient," Ichi sighed, bringing a hand up to his brow.

"Alright."

Eventually, the two made it to a room that was a little more ornate than the others. "This is where the leader of the operation had his office. I think." Ichi walked over and took a vial of blood off the wall. "Here's the blood I took from you, by the way. You can't bring it home, obviously, but you should wear it while you're here."

Louis nodded, putting it around his neck and looking down at it, then to the wound on his hand. "I will."

Ichi turned around again, moving toward some folded up, dark cloth on the desk. "Hachi finished your uniform, by the way. I task them with making them and they seem to tailor it to their specifications." He picked it up and handed it over to Louis.

The buck took it, blinking. "Do all our uniforms look different?"

"Yes. Obviously, I can't ask Hachi what's going through their mind, but...looking at this one I think they prioritized flexibility and low visibility in the dark."

"But you can, can't you, Ichi? They can surely write."

"They refuse. I won't push them, either. They're a valuable member of the team."

"I hope they...talk to me, maybe. I've never met someone like that before, but I'm sure they're beautiful in their own way. Plus, I want to thank them for their work on this. I'm excited to try it on."

"Not with the first impression you gave last time. I'm glad to see you're at least trying today, even if you are doing it out of spite."

"I'm actually not. I'm thankful for the party."

"You're not supposed to be thankful for the party." Ichi sighed again.

"But I am. I had a good time."

"Disgusting." Ichi turned, walking toward a book. "Let's change topics. Do you know what this is?"

"A book," Louis blinked.

"Correct. It's a ledger that they kept. Every one of us that was kept here...If they were bought...and who provided them." Ichi looked at Louis with a raised eyebrow.

"...Oh?" The deer felt his heart jump a little.

"Interested?" Ichi looked over at the other deer, a strangely innocent expression adorning his face.

"Perhaps." He set his outfit down and came over, standing next to him. "Indulge me, master Ichi."

"I'm not going to show you if you call me that."

"I'm just messing around. Lighten up."

"So what, you're my friend now?"

"I'm part of your team."

Ichi pulled away from the book and scrutinized the other buck. "What happened between now and the last time you were here? Why are you just so amicable now?"

"Because I realized that if I want to keep my husband alive, I should just cooperate. I mean, I could constantly argue against you and have bad blood and make our time hell for everybody, or I can listen to what you say and maybe grow to be at least tolerable so we aren't all miserable."

Ichi's lips formed a thin line as he regarded Louis. After a moment, he spoke. "Alright. I'm glad you got an actual grasp on the situation. Get to know us, become part of the team, don't cause intentional trouble, and dear old wolfy stays safe and sound."

"Thank goodness...that's all I want," Louis sighed. "So...the book."

"Yes, the book." Ichi turned back to it, stroking the cover. "Have you ever wondered who your parents were? Your biological ones, I mean."

Louis stepped back. "Wait, wait. I...This is so sudden...I-I'm not mentally prepared for—"

Ichi put a hand on his shoulder. "I figured. I just thought you should know...if you ever find yourself wondering. The answer is in there."

"...I...I want to know. I mean...I've thought about it a lot. I just didn't wake up this morning thinking I would find out." He snorted. "I didn't wake up this morning at all."

"Yeah...you look like shit. Partied too hard, I suppose." Ichi took the book and flipped through the pages idly.

"Between the alcohol, the public sex, and no sleeping...Yeah, I can imagine I look like shit."

Ichi looked at him as if he had just grown two heads. "Okay, I regret asking." He turned again to the book. "I have something in this book to show you. Not your parents, don't worry. You and you alone will choose when you want to see that."

"I'm ready, then. What is it?" Louis asked.

"Do you happen to remember the animal with the brand of 7?"

"What? Shichi? No."

"Hmm, I figured. I only saw him a few times. He was bought pretty early." Ichi flipped through the pages before he landed on one with a bookmark stuck in it. "Here's the interesting thing, though: every child who was bought had their status written here. Most were devoured on site, but Shichi..." Ichi beckoned Louis forward.

The deer got closer. "Yes?"

"Read this."

On the page was general information on the animal. Species, weight, dates of purchase. What Ichi wanted Louis to see, however, was at the bottom of the page, where 'consumed off site' was written.

"So he's dead. Why did you show me this?"

"How do we know? No other kid in this book was 'consumed off site'. I know I might be sounding a bit optimistic here, but I'm still waiting. Waiting for him to return. In the meantime, I've been watching out for a dall sheep."

Louis' heart all but stopped. "Is that so?" My luck is all over the place...

"Even then, I won't fill his spot. He was our brother, and until I know for sure what happened...nobody will get his number."

"...I understand. Thank you for letting me know. I guess...while we're here...I'd like to see my parents."

"Are you sure?"

"...No, but show me anyway and forgive me if I get emotional."

Ichi nodded and flipped through the pages. Louis wasn't sure if he was deliberately going slow or not, but with each turn of the page Louis' heart rate increased.

He closed his eye, once again imaging Legosi's heartbeat against his ear. Ba-bump. Ba-bump.

"Here." Ichi walked away from the book, leaving the page open.

Louis' chest tightened nonetheless. Ba-bump. Ba-bump. Ba-bump. He opened his eye.

To any other animal, it would have seemed boring. Sterile, even. Two small, stamp-sized black and white portraits of deer. Ichiro, age 23, and Tsubaki, age 26. Both red deer.

Louis felt tears sting his eye as he scanned the page, lingering for a while on the two images, especially his mother, Tsubaki. She wasn't at all like what she imagined him. This one looked tired and had sad eyes. It made sense if she had to give up her son. So maybe she did care about him...That just made Louis' tear fall down his cheek.

He continued looking around the page until he discovered a line that made his breath hitch. "Moved to America..." He said this aloud, quietly.

"Yes," Ichi confirmed, uselessly. "Are you okay?"

"I...They're alive..." Louis swallowed. "I..." He shook his head.

"Well, anything can happen in 19 years," Ichi reminded.

"...Thank you for showing this to me. It means a lot."

"I thought you might want to know. We all did. Incidentally, none of our parents live in the immediate area." Ichi closed the book and walked over to his desk, sitting down on the old chair.

Louis moved and sat down in front of him. "Amazing party, information on my parents...It's been a good few days."

"Well, I don't know if this will make you happy or not, but I have information on your first operation."

"Depends on what it is," the buck snuffed out a chuckle.

"There's a group here in the black market peddling off livestock again," Ichi said, bluntly. "And they're well equipped."

"Oh goodness."

"I've had Roku running reconnaissance for a while now, but their operation is tight. They're not dumbasses who sell kids from a huge tower. No, their operation is underground, and has the front of a hyperdrugs store that sells carnivore parts. I guess they figure that'd throw people off. I wonder if they know about us." Ichi scowled and looked over at the wall.

"Who knows. I'm new to all this," Louis shook his head.

"So, what do you think of carnivores that willingly sell parts of other carnivores while also selling children to be eaten behind the scenes? Think you might want to bring them to justice or is that still beyond you?"

"I...don't know. I don't know, Ichi. Maybe if I was drunk," he joked. "Then again, I might just be more attracted to them. Well, if they're canines."

"No...no they're not the Okamigumi or anything. From what we've seen they're a variety of species." Ichi tapped his finger on the desk, staring ahead.

"And what do you want me to do?"

"I want you to run some recon with Roku tomorrow night. It's a simple job that's hard to fuck up, so it's perfect for you. With the information we're gathering we can hopefully strike sometime next week. By the way, can you show me your gun?"

Louis opened his satchel and took out his pistol. "Here it is."

Ichi regarded it for a moment. "Hmm, an M1911. One moment." He got up and made his way to a large metal chest, procuring some objects from inside. He returned and placed them next to the gun. "Here's a suppressor, as well as a few mags and a box of bullets. You won't need them tomorrow, but I figure I should provide you with this now."

"An upgrade, huh? Interesting. Thank you for the supplies. Can I always count on you for supplies?"

"Depends on what you need. If it's loadouts, then yes. Most of what we do is stockpiling munitions and weapons taken from the gangs back here," Ichi explained.

"Makes sense. Well, that's good at least. One less thing to worry about. I think I'm going to try my new outfit on so I can thank Hachi or tell them if there are any size adjustments."

Ichi waved him off. "Go ahead. Today would be a good day to explore the tower as well. Maybe talk with some of the others. You'll want to mend what you did last time."

"...Okay." He got up and bowed. "Where's somewhere I can change?"

"One of the cells, maybe. If you want more privacy, you can find the bathrooms."

"It'll be fine." He grabbed his new outfit and the supplies Ichi provided. "...Where are the cells again?"

"They start a floor below. They also serve as rooms for the team, so make sure you change in one that isn't occupied."

"I will, I will." He nodded to him and then left.