Thank you all again for your nice reviews, they make me smile!

edited: 12/23/19

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I would've gave Kurenai more of an impactful role during the Asuma arc.

Chapter 2 - Emotion Will Crush You

"One can be the master of what one does, but never of what one feels." ― Gustave Flaubert

He had been planning carefully to start a family after the war.

After striking Orochimaru with his sword once more, after getting rid of his hatred for Itachi, after finally being able to move on from the shackles of his past, he told himself. That had always been the plan but it was much too soon met with disappointment after he found no one who had filled him with a sense of longing. Not that he had much options either way.

Most women were fond of Sasuke in a non-committal sense. Other than the chance of the occasional night spent with him, most were terrified to be permanently linked to him - petrified to the point of death to be forever associated with the sins of the Uchiha.

And that was where hatred grew stronger. That was where he had, once again, found a reason to close off himself.

Konoha had destroyed another childhood dream, ripping it away from its guarded innocence and thrusting it towards the reality that was his life.

Sasuke never woke up deciding that he wanted to become Hokage randomly. It was a possibility he pondered on heavily when he sat alone on grassy fields where no one dared to bother him.

It was what he thought of as he pushed himself past boundaries. Training until there was nothing holding him back, until his power, like the sky, was limitless.

It was his duty to change this village. He had to for the sake of the Uchiha. For the sake of his brother. For his own sake. He would hold only himself responsible if what happened to him were to happen again to someone else.

He knew all to well what it felt like to stand unprotected in the middle of political crossfire. A child should never have to experience that. If he was Hokage he would ensure that they wouldn't.

He remembered telling Kakashi his dream of succeeding him after he returned from his journey of enlightenment. He remembered how his former sensei had been so serious then smiling at him like he was happy his student had found something worthwhile to put his efforts into.

So, when Kakashi tore apart that dream, stating bluntly that Sasuke was never going to be Hokage, it didn't just hurt. It was more than that.

It was a reminder of the disregard his old teacher had in him. It was a reminder of the hate the village held for him. It served to show that even after all his efforts, he wouldn't be remembered for his heroic deeds, but rather as what he once was.

An S-rank criminal.

He hated it. He hated the feeling of failure.

That was why his goal was clear.

Glancing down at the scroll he held in his palms, he quickly memorized his destination before beginning his short journey: Training Ground number 5.

He headed outside, feeling slightly tired from yet another restless night. He occasionally went through fits of insomnia, and even though he had come to terms with the painful excuse of his childhood and early adolescence, the images still haunted him.

His dreams were not pretty. They often left him questioning himself and caused him to wake up in a cold sweat, heartbeat racing far, far ahead of him while he struggled to make sense of what was and wasn't real.

Stifling a yawn, he wasn't surprised to find the bright shades of blond and cherry blossom pink hair waiting for him on his front steps. Those two, besides Kakashi, were the only ones allowed to even breathe around Uchiha grounds, let alone come near his own house.

"Good Morning Sasuke- kun!" Sakura cheerily greeted as she lifted herself gracefully from the steps, offering a wide bubbly smile.

"Mornin' " Naruto echoed, sporting his signature cat-like grin. Sasuke responded to both with a nod, preferring not to waste his breath. He didn't particularly like wasting energy he didn't have.

Falling into step, the trio walked in what seemed like synchronization as they maneuvered through Konoha's busy dirt paths. As always non-shinobi were gazing at them in a combination of terror (mostly at him) and awe (mostly at his friends).

Sasuke had assumed that the initial shock of the their newly attained power, and his return to Konoha would subside after the villagers came to terms with the aftermath of the war but as two years stretched on it seemed rather unlikely.

Their combined efforts throughout the war were never forgotten, and some people had begun to prefer to keep a safe distance away from the three. Sasuke had begun to suspect the reason why had more to do with him and their association with him than them and so they had no reason to really be upset, but it didn't matter Naruto and Sakura absolutely hated it.

Sasuke, on the other hand, merely regarded it with indifference.

"Bah! I don't get why they're so nervous. We're still the same citizens!" Naruto pouted, speaking louder than necessary. Sasuke nearly snorted.

They weren't normal by any standards at all whatsoever. And they certainly couldn't be put into the same category as the other shinobi.

They were three ninjas trained by the three legendary Sannin. They knew the secrets of power, the knowledge that came with hard work, all coming down from their predecessors before them. Hell, they even adopted some quirks from their respective teachers. It was a blessing that Konoha had once again been given such strong shinobi to watch over its village.

But some of the villagers didn't see it the same way. They saw three incredibly strong young adults who could easily crush them with a single flick of the wrist if they so as much rubbed them they wrong way. Although they still treated Sakura and Naruto with respect and admiration you could see there was a sense of fear.

Sasuke didn't think anything of it, it was only natural to be afraid of what could harm you. Also, those two were at least treated better than everyone else. He couldn't say the same. He would notice the amount of people that would crowd them before he made his way over sometimes.

They were just complaining to complain.

They were the new Sannin, durable, valiant, and like the generation before them- completely dysfunctional. Konohan's were afraid of them turning out the same as their predecessors regardless of the fact that they had surpassed them long ago.

"Why don't you scream a little louder? I don't think Suna heard you," Sakura playfully rolled her eyes as she nudged the blond good-naturedly, almost sending him tumbling headfirst towards the ground. An innocent smile spread on her lips, "Whoops, guess I don't know my own strength!"

"Sakura-chan that's frightening..." Naruto said shuddering as he inched closer to Sasuke's side. When he began hiding behind him, Sasuke felt it was much harder to stop the urge from hitting the jinchuuriki himself.

"So?" Sakura arched a perfect brow, shooting each of the boys a coy look. "Whose names did you get on your scrolls, anyways?"

"Oh!" Naruto bounced excitedly. An annoyingly bright smile stayed plastered on his face. Sasuke often wondered if the man's face ever got tired from stretching his mouth into that large, overbearing smile.

"I got Ino and Shino! Though I'm kind of creeped out by the fact I'll be seeing Shino's bugs on a regular basis."

Sakura shook her head at her teammate. She had become easy going over the years and was hardly ever bothered by the sometimes stupid sentences that escaped Naruto's mouth.

She brightened up visibly. "So you got people from our year too? Kiba, Chōji and I are going to be a team. One's a hothead and the other's too soft. Guess I've got my work cut out for me huh?"

Sasuke was choosing to tune out the vast majority of the conversation until he felt two, very strong stares boring into his skull.

He blinked twice. "What?"

"Who did you get Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked curiously, trying her hardest not to seem eager to hear.

Naruto, on the other hand, was more than keen, anticipating. "Yeah, Sasuke, I was wondering the same thing…who's gonna' be on your team?"

"A Nara and a Hyūga," He listed simply, not bothering to give first names. Those two would know who he was referring to.

Sakura laughed at Naruto's dumbfounded look and filled him in. "I talked to Ino about the exams yesterday. Although he had been asked the year before, Shikamaru finally agreed to take the test. I guess he didn't want to do it alone."

"But what about the Hyūga?! There's plenty of those!" Naruto annoyingly inquired.

Sasuke huffed quietly as he gave them a dubious look. Kakashi had said their entire genin class was encouraged to do the exam, the answer should've been obvious, "Hyūga Hinata."

He didn't notice both of his teammates stop dead in their tracks before sharing an unsure look.

"W-wait!" Naruto called after him, catching the Uchiha's shoulder to stop him from going any further. Sasuke stared rather annoyed at the hand that was gripping him tightly.

"…Hinata? Are you sure?" Sakura asked, worry creasing her forehead and knitting her brows together.

"Yes. We all know her name." Sasuke jerked his shoulder away, causing Naruto to slightly stumble forward and relinquish his heavy hold. Feeding both his teammates a harsh scowl, he turned on his heel, rather glad to be leaving them behind.

"Sasuke-san, wait! Let's all walk together!"

He almost swore right there and then as he unintentionally made eye contact with the irritating owner of the voice.

Sai was running towards the team earnestly, an awkward smile hung on his lips as he waved his hands in the air rather childishly. Soon he had caught up with the other two Sasuke had left behind, greeting each of them with a small nod of the head.

Sasuke sighed dejectedly as he came to a halt. Waiting for the other Team Seven members to catch up he found himself getting mildly annoyed at the image of the rather happy trio. They were still a little awkward together, but there wasn't any of the unspoken tension that sat between those three has it did whenever Sasuke was in Sai's stead. In any other person's eyes Sasuke would seem displaced in comparison to the others- an anomaly on what was otherwise a very synchronized team.

This version of Team Seven looked like they truly belonged, and they didn't even realize it. Sasuke frowned at that- in a way he felt as if he had been replaced in some capacity by Sai.

'I'm a part of Team Seven too!'

He remembered the first time he encountered the crass man. He had uttered those very same words. At first the concept of such a thing had been quite unbelievable back then, so he had merely brushed him off. But when they had come back after the war, specifically when Sasuke came back, he had witnessed what Sai had said to be true. There in Team Seven was a placeholder who served as a reminder of their wayward comrade and they hadn't done away with him as soon as the original returned- in fact they seemed to become even closer in his absence.

Like a band of misfits everyone, including Kakashi, just expected the four of them to get along just fine and it clawed at him endlessly.

Sasuke didn't care for Sai one bit. He was rude, emotionally dense, and he sort of creeped him out. He was not someone the man could ever see himself becoming close with- there was too much strain on his end to pretend to be at least cordial around him, which, by the crude sentences that came from the former ROOT member's mouth, was not an easy task.

Sasuke absolutely could not stand Sai. So, when he took another look at the trio happily conversing and walking together in his direction, he turned around and promptly walked away- ignoring their calls for him to wait.

He didn't want to deal with it. Besides he was heading in the opposite direction anyway.

Making it to the fifth training ground, he found that his team had been waiting upon his arrival. It was a new concept for him; usually he was the one always kept waiting not the other way around.

He was surprised to find the Nara wearing a lucid gaze similar to that of Kakashi and even more surprised to find that the Hyūga had a small smile on her pale face.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed as his mouth creased into a frown.

If these were his teammates then he was definitely not impressed.

"So, you've finally decided to make it," said Nara Shikamaru. His back was slightly hunched, and his hands were placed in his pockets giving off the impression of a lethargic nature. Sasuke's stare turned tense at his lazy form. He didn't and never did appreciate laziness.

Looking onward towards the woman - Hyūga Hinata, he caught her opalescent eyes staring at him and quickly looking away as he returned her gaze. A slight shiver danced through her shoulder blades as she nervously began to tug at the long strands of her hair. If there was any emotion Sasuke was good at identifying, it was fear and she was definitely, but not surprisingly, afraid of him.

At a loss for words at the pathetic excuse his new team was, a small sigh managed to escape his lips. Sasuke was vaguely aware of who both shinobi were. The Hyūga used to date his idiotic best friend and the other was someone he had seen in small doses. He never payed much attention to either of them but now that he had the chance to feel out their chakra- he couldn't help but notice how lackluster they both were.

Suddenly his goal began to seem so far away. These two were far from what he wanted in a team and he wasn't sure how they could benefit him in the long run. He could feel his dream floating further from his grasp, his fingertips not yet given the chance to graze it.

"Are you ready to begin Sasuke?" Shikamaru quipped, he seemed relaxed, but his eyes held obvious contempt. Sasuke glared icily at him, daring him to say another word.

He wasn't surprised in the slightest, he had begun to expect people to treat him like this. And with the way the lazy shinobi could never stay in his presence for very long Sasuke had begun to suspect it. The man obviously harboured some kind of ill towards him for whatever reason. No matter how hard he tried, his actions in the eyes of people like him, would never be justified.

And it pissed him off.

They had no idea what it was like for him.

He rolled his eyes and scowled, not bothering to give an actual response as he crossed his arms and directed a heavy glower towards the sluggish jonin. Sasuke hated him already.

Shifting away his attention from the Nara, onyx eyes scanned over the training grounds. He had vaguely recognized it, the memory just scratching at the surface of his mind. It wasn't until he glanced back towards his new teammates and noticed Shikamaru's placid gaze on him did it hit him.

Itachi used to have that same gaze. This was where he would often watch Itachi train. Whether this was a coincidence or some cruel bout of fate he wasn't sure. Just to make sure he was in fact correct, Sasuke walked towards a familiar rock sitting in the middle of tall and heavily marked trees, broken and battered target boards hanging shamelessly on their fronts.

He ignored the feeling of his teammate's eyes on his back and hesitantly reached out to touch the rock, feeling its jagged surface for any indication…

The avenger nearly gave up until he felt the recognizable groove of a name underneath his fingertips. Bending down to get a closer look, he almost smiled at the sight as a familiar rush of warmth breathed through him.

Uchiha.

On the rock, the rugged image of a dragon, unmistakably carved by his brother's kunai was still in the same place he remembered it to be almost seventeen years ago. It was roaring with his clan's crest on its chest, the name Uchiha neatly engraved with his brother's chakra standing adjacent to it. It wasn't something that could be seen unless you really looked for it.

The carving, although not especially appealing, was still something of beauty to him. Jagged, uneven lines marred the surface, detailing each scale, each spike, their family name was written with such a delicacy that he had only known his older brother to possess.

Sasuke closed his eyes, fingertips grazing over the dragon carefully, treading over each and every detail as memories flooded him.

He remembered his older brother struggling to make a beautiful dragon against the rock, left with a rough carving in the end. He recalled the swell of pride his younger self felt at his neat carving of their clan's symbol, brimming with excitement that he finally excelled at something his prodigy brother could not. He could picture Itachi's gentle smile as he looked upon Sasuke's work and then with a chakra infused finger engraved the Uchiha name with such concentration- his face falling into the familiar serene expression he often shared with him.

There was a strain in his chest as he looked upon the dragon. Their dragon. He could still hear the gentle boom of Itachi's voice as he chastised him for becoming too eager and accidentally hurting himself.

'Foolish little brother," Itachi tsked and sighed as he bent down to eye-level with him, holding Sasuke's smaller palm in his. "You must learn that with pride, you must also be modest.'

Sasuke looked down at his hands before him as he traced the drawing once more. He had almost forgotten the memory and subsequent lesson. Why did it feel so appropriate for him now?

Removing his hand from the rock and regaining his composure, Sasuke slowly got up and with an air of indifference walked back towards his teammates. Pausing to give him a questioning look, Shikamaru pulled out a scroll from his pocket and handed it to him.

"This is the information scroll regarding the test; it explains everything that will happen over the course of the coming week."

Raising a sharp brow Sasuke looked from the scroll in his hands to Shikamaru, "Week?"

"The test is for a week, Uchiha-kun." Onyx eyes shifted over to the timid woman that had spoken to him softly, almost fearfully.

"Is that all?" He asked, not bothering to thank them. When there was no sign of them answering he pocketed the scroll and turned around. "Then I'll leave first."

He didn't say goodbye as he walked away, instead a million thoughts ran through his mind.

Having to meet his new teammates at Training Ground number 5 wasn't a coincidence, of that he was sure, He had told only one person of the specific memory when he was younger, not expecting it to be used against him. Though what purpose it served was beyond him.

He wasn't sure what to feel at the moment. He felt angry and betrayed but yet strangely serene at the same time.

It didn't make any sense.

Sasuke hated feelings for these exact reasons. If you allowed them to, they controlled you. They wrapped around tightly and suffocated you. He hated them. He didn't want to feel anything.

It wasn't long until he realized his feet were unconsciously walking towards to the Hokage's office. He had to speak to his old Sensei regarding a few things, though he wasn't exactly sure how he felt about that. He was planning to avoid the Sixth as of late, but he guessed that would have to wait.

There were more important matters at hand.