CHAPTER TWO HUNDRED EIGHTY TWO

"How long has he been like this?"

"Just a few minutes."

"You're not worried?"

"Sure I'm worried, but he's not physically hurt, so what am I supposed to do?"

"Oh! Look! His eye twitched!"

"Viktor?"

Voices sounded like they were speaking under water, behind glass, but even then, there was a glimmer of familiarity about them.

"Viktor, blink twice if you can hear me."

Fingers snapping next to his ear sounded like hollow knocks on a thick, wooden door. The darkness behind his eyelids started to gain color; dark browns and reds, then yellows, and finally blinding white light as they opened.

"Viktor!"

The light receded behind the outline of darker shapes, and he could start to make out the geography around himself; the rink wall, the sidewalk, the shadows of buildings further back, and the people who were standing much closer. Things were still blurry though, like water was in his eyes, and he blinked slowly, heavily to clear it. There was a ringing in his ears that slowly faded away, replaced by the ambient sound of the park, and the few revelers who still took to the ice.

But then the pain crept in, and Viktor became acutely aware of the scuff on his forehead where he'd hit that ice with his face. He cringed and raised one hand up to rub the sore spot.

"...Viktor...?"

"...Yu...ri..."

"Take it easy." That welcome voice said quietly, "You're starting to run a bit of a fever."

"A fever?" Mari echoed, standing off to the side near her older counterpart, and turned her head to look at the nervous woman, "You really did break him, Minako. What'd you say to him?"

"...I didn't actually say anything." She explained, her voice barely above a whisper as she looked on at the young legend where he struggled to try and sit up straighter on the bench he'd been set upon, "Not exactly, anyway."

"I'm honestly surprised he didn't start one earlier." Yuri sighed, rising up from where he'd been crouching in front of his spouse, and setting a knee onto the bench next to the man, holding him steady where he sat, "It's been two months of nonstop stress for him. If it was just the rigor of competition then he'd be fine, but between me and all the other craziness that's happened, it's just piling up. The way he holds onto stuff and internalizes it really doesn't make it better. ...I don't know what to do to help him let it all go."

"He just needs to go home and stay home for a while." Chris pointed out, "No travel, no hotels...although, staying at Yu-Topia would probably would be right up his alley." He stroked his bristly chin, "A dip in that hot-spring sounds great right about now."

Conversation ceased at that point, and the cloudy-headed, feverish man slowly rose to his feet, holding to his partner's shoulder as he went. Slate eyes had locked onto a certain older member of his bloodline, and he started taking a few steps forward on those naked golden blades.

"Viktor, what are you trying to...?" Yuri questioned anxiously, "You don't have your blade-guards on...and you're stepping on concrete here. You'll ruin your skates."

Mikhail watched nervously as his nephew stepped closer. His two daughters stood close by, Yurio and Otabek behind them in turn. Minako watched for all of three more seconds before she stepped between the two men, putting her arms out to block Viktor's way, but realizing he'd managed to grab a handful of the elder's black woolen jacket anyway, "Viktor...ease off...!" She pleaded.

Those light blue eyes just stared, a look of anger and betrayal in them, but the man said nothing to explain it.

"I feel like you want to take a swing at me," Mikhail said quietly, his own steely jade eyes looking on without blinking, "What'd I do now?"

Minako turned her head back to look at him over a shoulder, giving an awkward glance before turning back around and setting her hands on the Russian skater's arm where it passed her, "Viktor...he did the right thing. It's not his fault anyway; I basically pressured him into it. He's doing more than I could've ever expected from anyone. Please..."

"What are you guys talking about...?" Yuri asked, looking between the three in complete disarray, but settled on his former teacher, "Minako-sensei...?"

"I'm not ready to talk about it with anyone else." She answered stiffly, her fingers gently trying to get between Viktor's and the black coat he'd clamped down onto, "Viktor...let him go."

.

"...This whole thing you have with Yuri was just the cherry on top for him." Mikhail explained.

"He still didn't have to hit me over it." Viktor growled.

"He learned that from his own father. It's a cycle. I hope you break it."

"Viktor's never hit anyone or anything in his life." Yuri defended, barging into the middle of the conversation.

"Is that what he's told you?"

.

Yuri clenched his eyes and shook his head, but turned his attention back to his partner, threading his arms around the taller man's chest and stepping up onto his own bare toe-picks to whisper into his husband's ear, "Viktor...twice before, Kon's had you by the front of your coat, and both times, I stepped in to defend you. But now you're doing it to your own Uncle, and Minako-sensei is having to defend him from you. I know you're mad about whatever it was you learned, but don't do this. You're better than your father. Be better than your father...!"

Those eyes trembled as they looked on, but soon, the angry shake relaxed a bit, and Viktor unclenched his hand, laying it flat against his uncle's chest instead before pulling it back again. Both his arms went over his partner's shoulders after that, bare fingers clenching down on the back of that dark blue winter coat. He pressed his eyes to the scarf around Yuri's neck, holding for a moment to regain himself, feeling the gentle stroke of a hand against his back before he lifted his face again to look at the woman who'd helped block him, "...I don't...know what to do. How to react." He said quietly, eyes starting to redden from the duress, "...I've got a hundred different feelings inside me and the only ones getting to the surface are the ones that hurt people. Thoughts in my head are going so fast that it feels like it's vibrating, like there's bees inside instead of a brain. ...Tell me how to react..." He pleaded, "...I don't know...how to react..."

"Don't, for now." She told him simply, "Let me figure out my own stake in this before you get angry on my behalf. Maybe it's nothing to even get angry about in the first place. You'll regret it if you get carried away now and then it turns out to be a non-issue."

"Then why did you even tell me...? Knowing how I feel about everything else..." Viktor asked, as though the knowledge he'd been given was poison.

"Because I needed someone to know, and you were the only one I could tell."

Yuri just gave her a hurt look, "...The only one...?"

Mikhail gave something of a similar look, but standing behind her, Minako couldn't see it.

"Sorry, Yuri..." She reached a hand out to stroke her mittened fingers against his cheek, "I'm sure there's things you'd never be willing to talk to your family about."

The younger figure nodded reluctantly, recalling how he'd just shot down a certain topic only 30 minutes prior. He sighed under his breath and turned his attention over to Chris, "Can you drive us back? I think...we're done for the night."

"Sure."

"Could you please grab mine and Viktor's bags real fast?" Yuri followed, turning his head to glance up at his younger friend.

The Thai skater nodded and moved off from where he'd been hanging onto the inside of the rink wall, and slid across the ice toward the opposite side. He raised a hand when he heard Chris calling for him to grab his own bag as well.

Minako took a step back to make room, feeling the elder Russian's hand coming up over her shoulder. She glanced back briefly before reaching her own hand up to touch to his fingers, and watched as Yuri set his partner down onto the bench again, kneeling down to start unlacing those unprotected skates. She could hear the subtle whispering between the two; Viktor's lament for having ruined the night again, Yuri reassuring that no one was holding it against him, and so on until the blades were replaced with shoes.

Chris was swapping his footwear out nearby as well, lifting his head as he heard blades coming up to the wall again, and held his hands out to start catching the backpacks as Phichit tossed them over, "The night's still young. I'll just walk back once I'm done." He said, standing up again as he packed his blades into his backpack and slung it over a shoulder, "Unless you want to call it a night, too."

"No sense in everyone leaving just because we are." Yuri pointed out, trying to prevent any unwanted early retirements for the night, "Viktor wanted to sleep...I kinda feel bad now for dragging him out here anyway. I even promised him a nap on the way and then we found parking almost as soon as we arrived, so it was barely a 10 minute trip."

"So we'll see you two at morning practice then?" Phichit asked.

The older figure nodded once as he rose back up to standing, not having bothered to pull his own blades off, simply slipping the colored rubber bars over them and slinging his backpack around his shoulders, carrying his partner's in his free hand as Viktor tiredly stood up again. Yuri glanced around briefly to all the remaining faces, "Have fun, guys. I'm putting this one to bed." He nudged his head slightly towards the man in question.

"Wait-" Yurio said, rather unexpectedly. Both older skaters looked at the teen in confusion, but he came up close and stood directly in front of his former rink-mate. He hesitated a moment, but then looked up, meeting Viktor's gaze directly, hazy as it was in that moment, "You said earlier tonight that you'd agreed to be my choreographer. I was so mad before, about how I thought you were blowing me off because of how you'd turned down the coaching thing...and I was too proud to even think about the reasons why." The young Russian prodigy admitted hesitantly, "I don't know what Mikhail said or did to convince you to agree...but, I'm grateful anyway. Spasibo, Viktor. I won't let you down anymore. You have my word on that."

Exhausted eyes looked back down on the much shorter figure, almost vacantly, but the silver Russian nodded in understanding. Too tired to say or think about much else, Viktor reached his free arm forward to lift it over Yurio's shoulder, pulling him into a weak but well-meant hug against his chest, "We'll talk later." Was all he could manage to say, patting the teen's back lightly before letting him go again.

Yuri reached an arm out for his own departure hug as well, the first in nearly a week. It was a relief to him to finally receive it again, and he held a little longer to the Russian Tiger, and a bit tighter, than Viktor had, "Goodnight, Yuri." He pulled back then and waved to the rest, skate-bag still in hand, "Goodnight everyone."

Just as they were starting to step off, Viktor whispered to wait, and stopped where he stood, lifting his head up to glance back over his shoulder to look at the woman who'd dropped such unexpected info-grenades in his lap, "...When are you going to do it?" He asked, a tired but knowing look on his face.

She shook her head, "Not right now, obviously. But soon."

"Promise you'll call me if you need help."

Minako huffed and crossed her arms, smiling despite the implications, "Go to bed, Viktor. I don't need a kid half my age worrying about my choices."

"It's not your choices I'm worried about."

"I'll be fine. But thank you."

Viktor gave her a look for a moment, but then drew a breath, nodded, and turned back around. The group quietly watched the three men starting to leave, each of them equally as surprised and confused as the next, but none wanting to say anything.

In the end, it was Yurio who broke the silence, "I hope he doesn't get sick tonight. Viktor would be mortified if he had to forfeit because of a fever."

"He'd probably still try to compete." Otabek added quietly, "Unless he has the flu and can't move or something."

"...I think this is just stress. Having to go to 4 nearly back-to-back events, and all the crazy shit that's happened at every one of them...then with what happened to Yuri yesterday night, I'm shocked he isn't already in a coma." The teen turned towards his older friend, "I wouldn't be surprised if they don't show to practice tomorrow...or even to Nationals in 2 weeks."

Phichit listened to them keenly, a finger coming up against his lower lip as he thought on those words.

"So what was all that about?" Mikhail finally asked, keeping his voice low just for Minako to hear, "Why would Viktor want to clock me like that? I thought he got it all out earlier."

"He did, but raw and open wounds don't close just because you cover them." She answered vaguely, "The thing he reacted to had nothing to do with that specifically, though."

"That literally makes no sense."

She turned where she stood, and reached a hand forward to twice-pat the front of the man's chest lightly, "It will when I'm ready to tell you what I told him."

"I can't think of a single thing you could tell him that would make him want to kill me."

"He doesn't want to kill you...and it wasn't a single thing, either." Minako explained, giving a dubious look, "If he wasn't already so worn down then he probably would've reacted completely differently."

"It couldn't have waited until after the event then?"

"No, because we're going to different places after the Final. Plus, one or both of those boys is getting on the podium tomorrow, hopefully both, and then the Exhibition is on Sunday. The last thing I want to do is tell Viktor then what I told him a minute ago." She said simply, shrugging then as she started making her way back towards the rink entrance, naked blades klak'ing over frozen concrete with each step.

Mikhail watched as the rest of the group went on towards a different rink entrance, spotting Mari waving at him briefly to get his attention.

"Viktoria and I are going on that carriage ride thing again." She said, "We'll be back after."

"Okay." He answered, agreeing even though he was mentally rather distracted. He turned back towards Minako then, hockey-skates thuck'ing the ground as he caught up, watching as she delicately rounded the edge of the doorway to get a toe-pick on the ice. He sighed and went around her, offering a hand from where he stood on the frost, "So when do I get to know what you told him? Cuz I have this nagging suspicion it was about me."

"It was less about you than it was about me." She said warily, more nervous about her skates sliding out from under her by then, "But like I tried to tell him, the thing he's mad about was my choice, not yours."

"This is all rather confusing. I don't like it."

Minako lifted her head, looking the elder Russian over and seeing how stiff he'd become...it was a different kind of wooden posture than he'd had from being cold...it was mental discomfort. She huffed a sigh and took the hand still extended towards her, letting the man balance her as she let go of the wall, "That feeling that you have right now is the realization that you can't know or control everything. I'd recommend getting used to that, hun...because there's going to be a lot of things happening soon that you can't control."

"Now you're just trying to freak me out. What's going on?" He asked, more urgency in his voice.

"Mama Bear Minako is coming out of hibernation, that's all." She shrugged and smiled, awkward as it felt to do so, "And Mama Bear Minako makes her own choices sometimes."

"...Do I get a say in any of those choices?"

"Have I had a say in most of yours?"

Mikhail was dumbstruck for a moment, his mind going blank, but he shook his head to get rid of the feeling, "...I guess I thought most of the choices I made didn't really need to be debated. How many people really need to be involved in picking hotel rooms and flights? It's not like trying to figure out where a group of 10 can agree on having dinner together."

"I guess not." She tacitly agreed, "Which is why you're not in trouble at all, at least not with me." She slowly inched her way across the ice, feeling more and more comfortable as she moved, "But the things I'm thinking about right now...the things I told Viktor about...those are very personal to me, and I already know what you think about them anyway. So, in a sense...you can say your piece about them, but in the end, the decision is mine, and it's final."

The silver Russian grumbled a bit under his breath, "When can I expect to find out what's on your mind?" He wondered again.

She pat his arm lightly where she held to it, "Later tonight, after the kids are squared away. I don't want to be cold and out of my element when I sit you down." She lifted her head to look at him, "I won't insult you by asking you not to worry."

"Good, cuz I'm already offended and I don't even know what's going on."

"...Okay, then try not to get so worked up about it instead? If you speculate too much, then when I finally tell you, you'll just be mad that it wasn't as serious as you thought."

"Is it about us moving to Hasetsu?" He asked pointedly.

"That depends on you."

"...Then the Yura situation?"

"Also depends on you. I already agreed to my part."

He was practically squirming in his skates, "...Is it about the...the other thing?"

"Huh?" She gawked at him, "There's lots of 'other things.'"

"You know...the thing...that made you sick."

"Mattaku!" Minako whined loudly, dragging a toe-pick behind herself to slow down so she could face the man properly, "...Mikhail...that thing isn't even a thing to me right now. It's just a possibility. I haven't been sick since that morning, and I don't intend on losing sleep over it until I know for sure anyway, which could take another week. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, okay? At the rate you're going, it will be nothing, and you'll have given yourself a stomach ulcer for no reason. So for now...ochitsuite."

"I don't even know what that means!" He lamented.

"Anshinshite! Murishinaide! Kimi nara dekiru!"

"I don't know what any of that means!"

"It means you have no chill! Find some Zen!"

"If Zen comes in a bottle of 40-proof..."

"Ara ma..."

.

The walk and the elevator from the car to the room was quiet, but Yuri still felt a little awkward walking the distance with his skates on. He hadn't wanted to waste time though, seeing the fatigue weigh on his husband's face, and wanting nothing less than to see the man asleep as soon as possible. Chris held the door as the key-card went in to unlock it, and quickly helped to get the Russian onto the edge of the bed.

"Thanks for the help, Chris." Yuri said quietly, brushing some of the hair from his partner's face before turning and standing fully upright again, "And sorry for the trouble. I never bothered learning to drive, so..."

"It's all good." He answered, stepping forward to put his arms around his younger friend.

Yuri returned the hug eagerly, "I'm surprised you really plan on walking back on your own."

"It's really not that far. If not for the buildings, we could see the park from here."

"We could see the Rockies from Calgary, too...doesn't mean they're that close."

"Touché." Chris winked, "But I'll be fine." He pat the man's shoulder before stepping around him to lean down towards Viktor, reaching his arms forward to hug him as well, "Get some rest, old friend. You promised to thrash us all properly this weekend...I can't very well take Gold from you when you're not at your best."

The hazy Russian nodded, raising one hand up to return the hug before Chris pulled back again and took his leave quietly. Viktor slouched back until he fell against the bed with a quiet pufft, and let out a sigh of breath, "...I don't know if I can handle anything else..."

"What was all that about anyway?" Yuri wondered, sitting on the edge of the bed next to his partner and finally getting his skates off, "I've never seen you go so proverbially brain-dead before."

"I don't know if she'd want me to say...even to you..." Viktor sighed, turning his head a bit and reaching his left hand out to touch his fingers to his partner's lower back, "That's probably what's worst about this...I have to bear it alone..."

"You looked like you really wanted to hurt Mikhail." One skate went to the floor as the laces of the second were coming undone over the athlete's knee, "If it weren't Minako-sensei, I'd start to wonder if he was being cruel to her...but she'd kick him off a bridge herself in that case, so I really don't know why you got so mad."

Blue eyes stared up at the ceiling in a moment of quiet, and Viktor heard the second skate land on the floor at the edge of the bed, "He didn't do anything wrong. Not...really. Not for sure."

"You're not making much sense."

"I know..."

Yuri rose to standing and shrugged out of his scarf and coat, putting them up before returning to undress his spouse of his own winter gear. The exhausted Russian's regular clothing came soon after, and Yuri pulled at the blankets and sheets to shuffle his partner in under them, pulling them up to just under the man's chin. A moment later, and he came back with a cool damp wash-cloth, folding it and setting it over Viktor's forehead before sitting on the bedside again, "You're really burning up. Hopefully it'll go away overnight and you can get some sleep. You've barely gotten any since we landed."

"Neither have you."

"...Yeah...look what that did." He sighed, reaching up his left hand to touch at the lines in his skin, "It's hard to imagine how things can change so quickly until you go through it." His right hand went forward, brushing the back of his fingers against his partner's clammy pale skin, "I'm going to take a quick shower and get the gel out of my hair. Don't wait up for me...if you're about to pass out, just go for it."

"...What about practice in the morning?"

"Wouldn't be the first time we've missed it."

"But...your Free Skate...I promised I would-"

Yuri put a finger on the man's lips and silenced him gently, "And you will. Tomorrow. For now...sleep."

The silver legend blinked at him in tired confusion, and watched as the man pulled his phone out, waggling it in the air a bit and looking quite pleased with himself.

"Phichit-kun called out to Coach Gerard and Lisa after we left Campus Martius Park. They've given their blessing for us to use the Skate Club rink tomorrow. Apparently they'd all been worried sick since hearing about the accident I was in, so they're more than happy to let us use their ice, where it's safe. Now..." Yuri leaned down then, his phone-hand going lightly down onto the thick blanket over his husband's chest, and gave him a quick kiss, "I love you. Go to sleep. I'll be back with you in a minute."

Those heavy eyelids weighed down the urge for sleep, but Viktor resisted for a moment longer, letting himself be filled with the breath of relief for hearing those words. Between Yurio's promise, and knowing they could use a different rink if they missed their chance for the 9am Official Practice, it was enough to let the man drift into sweet oblivion before he could even see Yuri stand up to walk away.