First off Happy Holidays! I have finally updated, I realized I was pressuring myself to write longer chapters when creatively I knew they were done. I am probably going to split the last two chapters into smaller chapters to make it easier to read and also help the flow. (edit 12/26/19 I actually did split the last two chapters now, that's why the story seems longer!)
Also I rewrote some of the story from the beginning again. The writing was pretentious and really showed my age as a teenager. I am almost done Uni now. It was embarrassing. So if you'd want to read the new and improved version (well before I reformat it that is.) then I encourage you to do so!
Rereading the story, I found the timing to be a bit confusing, so to straighten out the timeline here it is:
Sasuke is 21, meaning everyone who has a birthday canonically before or after him is either 20 or 21 or older depending on age (Kakashi is 37, Juugo is 21 going on 22). When the war ended Sasuke was 17. He spent eight months in prison and then another six months on his journey of enlightenment, meaning he turned 18 when in prison. After that he spent another seven months being a rogue nin with Taka where he turned 19, and then went back to Konoha before his 20th birthday. He and Taka did not speak in between that time. When he turned 20, he did not go back onto the active shinobi list until the end of that year, when he did Kakashi instantly promoted him to jonin status. This story takes place around summer/fall right after he turns 21.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did Nagato would not have been resurrected during the Fourth Shinobi World War.
Chapter 16: What We Carry With Us
"Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense." -Mark Overby
Naruto's face twisted into the most unbecoming expression as he quickly moved to shut the door in Sasuke's face, but the Uchiha was quicker, he stuck out his foot to block Naruto from fully closing it.
"Get the fuck outta' here bastard," Naruto seethed, he was squeezing the door tighter to get him to recoil, but Sasuke gritted his teeth and stayed in his position.
"Naruto," Sasuke said, his voice level despite his current situation. His face was tightly construed as he bared the pain of Naruto aggressively crushing his foot. "I'm not going anywhere."
"The hell you are, dattebayo!" Naruto yelled. His chakra was flaring in that way it always did whenever he managed to get angry, which was far and few between. It was a frightening spark, similar to that of a cornered animal, but Sasuke having lived through many of Naruto's outbursts kept his ground. His face remained impassive as he allowed his best-friend to get through his predictable, fight rather than flight, instinct.
Sasuke ignored his crude actions, forcibly pushing past him and into the house. He leaned off his injured foot to adjust most of his weight on the other, as he silently looked around the messy space.
"Damn it Sasuke." Naruto cursed under his breath. He slammed the door none too nicely, and he leaned against it after, with arms crossed and blue eyes swimming in rage. After realizing his action, he narrowed his eyes even further, "Get out." He barked in a rough growl, quickly reopening the door with a jutted jaw.
Though any other day an order like that would cause Sauske not to stay where he wasn't wanted, he stayed firmly glued to the ground with determination set in his brow.
"No."
"Sasuke…"
"Grow up," Sasuke sneered. He pulled out a wine stained wooden chair to sit on from the kitchen beside him, as the pain shooting from his left foot became unbearable. As he sat, he tested out his foot, pressing it down and deducting that his foot was more than a little strained. Though he'd like to believe that the jinchuuriki wasn't intentionally trying to break his foot, he had a hard time convincing himself that was true.
Sakura was really going to let them have it when he asked her to heal it for him later.
"You don't get to say that to me." Naruto fumed, his eyes were even darker now, almost as blue as the tumultuous sky just outside. His breathing was laboured, harsh and uneven. He rubbed his hands over his whiskered cheeks in exasperation when Sasuke made no move to leave. Then, he let his shoulders drop in an effort to calm himself.
"Naruto." Sasuke bent over, with his hands clasped quite awkwardly in his lap. He didn't want to do this just as much as his best friend did either, but he had to. He needed to know so that he could finally move forward with his life. "Please." He swallowed his pride down at having to plead with the man. It was so unlike him, Uchiha's never begged, but it was the only way Naruto would even throw him a bone.
Even though it made him feel like an asshole, Sasuke had to appeal to Naruto's giving, almost self-destructive, selfless nature.
He would ask for forgiveness later.
Naruto shook his head soon after, as his lips trembled in a frown. His blond hair was much shorter than the last time he'd seen him, almost buzz cut length.
"Why?" he asked, his voice laced with a hurt that, quite frankly, Sasuke felt uncomfortable being privy to.
The ex-avenger grimaced in turn, as he ran a hand through his own lengthy bangs. He watched as the wet ebony strands slipped from his fingers grasp, and back into the haphazard position his hair always laid.
"I know I'm not being a very good friend. It's not like it's the first time too," Sasuke faltered in his words, as he ran his fingers through the rest of his completely soaked hair. He didn't know if anything he said would get Naruto to open up to him. He hoped it would, but it wasn't certain. Fighting through the doubt creeping in his mind, the Uchiha continued. "Naruto. I like Hinata. And it's driving me just as crazy. How could I have fallen for this girl, who won't even let me in? I've never been in this situation before. I need your help."
Naruto frowned as he stood near the open door, just staring intently at him. He paid no mind to the little splatter of rain that was getting on the wooden floor from the bad weather outside. The howling of the wind, just mere inches from them, had nothing on the suffocating tension present in Naruto's living room.
"Sasuke. I can't."
"All my life, you guys have been telling me to find peace, to allow myself to be happy. All I'm asking is that you give me the chance."
Naruto sighed, "I think that's the most you've ever told me about your feelings since the day we blew each-other's arms off." His hand laid as still as a ghost before him, until he closed the door and then, with his fingers rubbing at his temple, sat down on a brown couch Sasuke had never seen in the apartment before. As if sensing his question, Naruto simply shrugged. "It was a gift Hinata gave me after seeing how ratty my old couch was. I've never been able to use it until lately."
Nodding his head, Sasuke adjusted his own chair towards the direction his best friend was sitting.
"I'm way too damn nice." Naruto cursed himself, leaning back into the couch cushion with a rough groan.
"I know, honestly that's why I'm here now. Forgive me, I'll be selfish just this once."
"Just this once?" Naruto snorted, his body clutching forward in a hearty laugh, as he balked at Sasuke's words. "More like all the time. I've got wasted teenage years filled with search parties to prove it."
"That was your choice," Sasuke muttered, though the small smirk betrayed his true feelings on the subject matter. He was glad Naruto made that choice; he would always owe him his life for that. Amongst other things. He let the corner of his mouth drop, as he thought about what he was asking of his best-friend.
Sasuke truly didn't deserve a friend like Naruto. He hoped that one day, Naruto would be wise enough to know that and live his own life, free from the burden of always taking care of him.
"Man, this situation just doesn't get any easier, huh?" Naruto's smile faltered, as he stared half-heartedly at the wooden tiled floor beneath him. There was a palpable shift that Sasuke could practically taste on his tongue. It felt salty, and the bitter afterthought of guilt wasn't making it any better.
"No. I don't think it does." Sasuke frowned.
The Uchiha fidgeted at his own words as he allowed the many obstacles that seemed to plague his path to Hinata, come forward into his mind. The Abyss, Taka, The Nara, Naruto, and Sakura. His feelings, Hinata's feelings. Everything was convoluted beyond reason. Even now as he thought about it, Sasuke couldn't definitively say that in the end, it would all be worth it. A small part of him wanted to believe that, as best as it could, but his intuition was always taunting him in the back of his mind, with whispers he couldn't ignore.
Uchiha's never get happy endings.
Yet still, he was determined to push forward despite it all. They had already come so far, and so many things had occurred that couldn't be undone. So many people had suffered before he finally allowed himself to fall.
He had already given her the key to take his heart. He couldn't take it back.
"Naruto," Sasuke softly beckoned towards him. He spoke his next words slow, as if he was coaxing a lie out of a child, "What happened between you and Hinata?"
Naruto's eyebrows dipped in pain, as he averted his gaze even further. Throughout the years, Naruto had matured into quite a burly young man, his tanned skin marred with the telling tales of battles gallantly fought. But right then, at that instant, Sasuke saw the man shrink back to that orange clad kid he had mistakably branded a loser all those years ago. His shoulders dropped, and Naruto looked so small, almost fragile.
"I…" The shinobi clammed up as soon as the first syllable exited his mouth. His whiskers were drawn upwards, as his face twisted into an expression Sasuke could only describe as discomfort. "I've never told anyone this. I guess I was too embarrassed. How could a guy lose a girl who had loved him her entire life?"
Sasuke felt his breath grow shallow at the story that was about to unfold. Even before he had the slightest interest in Hinata, the sour demise of their once sickly-sweet relationship had always given him questions. Together, though it hurt him to admit, Naruto and Hinata seemed made for each other, but when his usually exuberant best friend had showed up on his doorstep that day, eyes red shot, and vibrancy inexplicably snuffed, Sasuke couldn't help but wonder why. Through it all though, Naruto stayed silent as he nursed his broken heart, but a part of him was never the same. You could see it whenever he thought no one was looking at him, he'd let the smallest of sad emotions wash over his face, before pulling himself together and returning to form.
"We had spent a lot of time together after the war. We bonded beyond, where I thought a bond could go. I felt that I owed it to her, especially after she slapped some sense into me right when I was about to give up during the war-"
"Give up?" Sasuke interrupted. A dark eyebrow rose in confusion, as he waited for Naruto to divulge more information.
Naruto had said the same thing at Ichiraku's that day, and Sasuke had wondered then as well. When he arrived at the battlefield, Naruto was as tenacious as ever, adrenaline pumping as he urged them to fight in unison. How could someone like that, be on the verge of giving up?
He knew little of the struggle that occurred in the beginning of the war, he hadn't thought it to be anything of importance, and when he did bother to ask the members of Team 7, they would get a distant look in their eye and dismiss it as the past.
"I was fighting and not really paying attention. I only had eyes for Obito, and while I was distracted, the Jyuubi took aim towards me with a few of its spikes. The Hyūga clan used their gentle fist to blow most of it away before it could get to me, but one was far too close to stop. Before I could even blink, Hinata stepped in front to shield me with her body, but then Neji…" Naruto paused, fighting over whatever emotion threatened to consume him, and then continued, quieter than before, "Neji took the blow for me."
Sasuke's eyes widened. The death of Hyūga Neji, was treated as a forbidden topic amongst his fellow Konoha Academy graduates. All he knew before hand was that the man had died in the war, but the Uchiha had always wondered how. He remembered very little of the Konohan's he grew up with, but Neji was amongst the few he could instantly put a face to. He was a prodigy, much like himself, and the only classmate he had bothered to pay attention to when he was younger.
To die in that way, despite all the natural skill he possessed, was depressing.
"That look on your face is the same reason no one talks about it," Naruto was looking at him intently then, azure blue eyes appearing on the verge of tears. "It didn't seem fair, the way he died. I had so many things I still wanted to accomplish with him. So much to say."
Sasuke stayed silent. There wasn't much he could say in the situation, having been removed from the others within his class for so long.
"Hinata, of course, took it the hardest," Naruto continued, "And I, well I felt guilty beyond repair and she did too, and so we kinda' gravitated towards each other because of that. She was the only one that I felt truly understood what I was going through. It was some form of-", Naruto paused, searching for the word but clearly coming up empty.
"Survivor's guilt." Sasuke finished for him.
Naruto nodded, giving a half-hearted laugh at his falter. "Yeah that. Sakura-chan said that was what it was called, guess I forgot."
Sasuke knew that feeling all too well. Even now, sometimes it managed to creep up on him when he finally caught his breath. He always said Naruto never truly knew how he felt, he figured that wasn't the case now. Thinking of it, Naruto never truly let him in on all the bad things that happened while he was on his one-man rampage. He guessed that was the knucklehead's way of making sure he didn't feel anymore guilty than he already did. But he always wondered, if he had just stayed when Sakura asked him to, how different would things have turned out? He couldn't help but feel like he was somewhat of a catalyst to everything that happened.
"Shut-up."
Naruto's sudden bark caused him to look up in mild annoyance. He hadn't even said anything.
"I can practically hear those depressing thoughts running in your head, dattebayo!" Naruto continued, "Don't even dare think what I know you're thinking, not everything is your fault."
"Sometimes it feels like it." Sasuke confessed. He clenched his jaw as he averted his gaze momentarily. He never liked talking about the subject of his rouge years for the very reason he was experiencing now. He was certain that the feeling of guilt would never go away.
"It will always feel that way if you keep looking it at it that way." Naruto said, he was giving him a pointed look as he crossed his arms. "Everything that happened wasn't your fault, it was Kaguya's, and every other adult who failed you. Stop looking for a reason to beat yourself up! It's irritating dattebayo!"
Sasuke sighed under his breath as he realized the idiot was right. "Whatever."
"Look, I'm a product of the system just like you, they fucked up. But if you keep letting your past define you, then you're weaker than I thought Sasuke."
Though the words were said bitterly, Sasuke felt Naruto's reassuring undertone. He knew his best-friend wanted him to move forward with his life, even if he was pissed at him. But it wasn't as easy for Sasuke to do as it was for the hyperactive ninja. In that respect, Naruto was much stronger than Sasuke could ever hope to be.
Sasuke nodded his head silently as he leaned back in his chair. There wasn't much more to say on the matter, and he'd rather that Naruto continue on with his story than make him feel worse than he already did.
Naruto sensing this immediately stiffened, Sasuke felt his brows grow tense at the fact and sighed loudly to signal his growing ire. He wasn't going to leave until Naruto told him everything, it didn't matter how long it would take.
It wasn't like he had anything to do anyways, after having been taken off of the missions list, he had the time. He could wait.
Naruto tightly clutched the cushion seat he was seated on between his hands. Though try as he might, Sasuke couldn't look away. There was something haunting about the way the emotions flashed across Naruto's face, he didn't know what to do to help his friend in the situation, so he just sat there watching the shinobi try to find the words.
"Hinata, she understood me like no one else. She knew exactly what to say and when to say it. For me, she was like a breath of fresh air after all the crap that I'd been through those last three years. Every time she was with me, I was grateful. Grateful that she had waited for me, grateful that I had finally seen what was in front of me all along, grateful she didn't hate me for taking too long."
Naruto smiled then, as he reminisced on what Sasuke assumed was the happier aspect of their relationship. But then his smile suddenly dropped as he kept his blue eyes fixated to the wooden panelled floor.
"For that long while were together it was great, but Hinata, she hid stuff from me." Naruto said, looking at Sasuke with a pained expression.
Despite the general rudeness of asking why Sasuke couldn't help it. Watching as Naruto ran a frustrated hand across his hair, the avenger sat deeply intrigued in Naruto's answer.
"She didn't want me to worry," Naruto chuckled, though the humour was lost in his tone. "Typical Hinata behaviour."
"What was she hiding?" Sasuke asked, ignoring his better half that urged him to stay quiet and let Naruto speak on his own terms.
"She was having nightmares." Naruto simply stated. He moved from running his hands across his short hair to crossing his arms across his chest, leaning back into the couch with a squeak, and staring up at the ceiling. "I never thought anything of it at first. She finally told me when I started asking her to stay the night. I didn't have a problem with it, I loved her, and I could understand why she would have them. Sometimes I did too."
"The ones about Neji."
"Yeah," Naruto confirmed. "I can't lie, the first time I heard her scream like that at night, it was fucking scary. I almost had a heart attack, but seeing as it didn't happen all the time and whenever it did I knew what was wrong, I started to grow accustomed to it. Sakura-chan herself told me that it was normal, she had patients that went through it come to the hospital every day to see her and Tsunada-baachan. It had almost been a year after the war, so I thought nothing of it. But then they never stopped, they got worse, especially when she was with me."
Naruto stopped, pausing and catching his breath, as Sasuke sat there absorbing the information. Both Naruto and Hinata had told him that the nightmares never stopped, but neither told him why. He had run through a myriad of reasons but could never come up with something that made sense. Now that Naruto was about to tell him, it felt as if a veil was being lifted, as if when said, Sasuke would understand Hinata a little bit more and why she became the way she did.
"She woke up screaming maybe once every two weeks, and then it was every week, and then every couple of days and then just every day." Naruto sighed, "I felt hopeless, I couldn't do anything and no matter how much I pushed her to go see Sakura-chan at the hospital, she never did. I felt like shit, it was so obvious that I was the reason they were getting worse, even to me."
Sasuke furrowed his brows at that sentence. There was no way the reason could've been Naruto. It just didn't make sense.
Naruto shut his eyes tightly as he swiftly turned his head, his mouth in a taut line. "One day it was fucking bad Sasuke. She had woken up screaming but it was like she wasn't there. I tried to do everything I could, but it wasn't working so I sent a toad to Sakura-chan while Hinata kept screaming Neji's name as if he was standing in the room. I had to hold her still before she hurt herself. It was scary."
"Hurt herself how?"
"She kept mumbling something about it being her. I guessed it had to do with Neji taking the blow for us. When Sakura-chan finally came over and dealt with it, she had me bring Hinata to the hospital to recover for a few days. I knew she didn't like hospitals, but I did it anyway, told her grumpy father too so she couldn't easily go home without getting the okay."
"She must've been really happy." Sasuke chuckled, remembering the understated feisty nature of the Hyūga.
Naruto laughed in response, the first real laugh he had made in a long while. "The happiest." He agreed. "She didn't speak to me for a good week, but I knew I had done the right thing, dattebayo!"
"So what? You broke up because you wanted her to get better?" Sasuke asked, raising a disbelieving brow.
"No." Naruto curtly replied. "Sakura-chan told me afterwards that Hinata was going through a severe form of PTSD. Apparently, her dreams were turning into hallucinations that overtime became more realistic."
Sasuke found himself leaning forward, "Like genjutsu."
"Exactly. She couldn't tell what was real or fake, it was like her body was always in a constant state of stress because of me."
"I'm pretty sure it wasn't because of you."
"Yes it was!"
Sasuke met Naruto's icy gaze with one of his own. He kept his mouth shut despite the strong desire to tell his friend what an idiot he was for believing such bullshit. Instead he leaned back into his chair as he kept his slightly irked face on the blond.
"I know it was, because every time I went away for a mission she would get better, but when I came back she would fall apart. The fucking signs were there, dattebayo!"
"Whatever." Sasuke rolled his eyes. It didn't matter what he said, the idiot would continue believing that lie. Crossing his arms, the Uchiha lifted his chin in Naruto's direction. "Continue."
"We tried to work through it, but I could see her slowly losing her mind. There was nothing I could do but watch." Naruto looked at him then, his blue eyes showing the most vulnerability he had ever shown him. "It was like it hurt her to love me or something. I started to feel guilty for keeping her with me."
"So, you broke up?"
"I wanted to but…selfishly I just couldn't go through with it. Until one day it was so fucking bad that even I couldn't justify a reason to keep fighting for us. We broke up. I was heartbroken. The end."
Sasuke sat waiting for Naruto to give him anything more than that, but the blond just sat there shallowly breathing as he, the Uchiha guessed, tried not to cry.
Slowly leaning even further back into the creaking chair seat, Sasuke looked at Naruto with a peculiar expression. He was sure that wasn't all there was to it; it didn't explain the way Hinata avoided Naruto like he was hell on earth. It also didn't explain the way Naruto had acted after the breakup- like his world had turned upside down and there was no reason to keep going, all of which Sasuke had a front row seat to, seeing as Sakura enlisted his help as she tried to cheer him up despite the Uzumaki's insistence that he was fine and nothing was wrong.
It had taken them three whole months to even get a semblance of the old Uzumaki Naruto back, but Sasuke knew better, that wasn't the same Naruto. Whatever else happened that Naruto wasn't telling him had taken an immense toll on his best-friend.
And possibly, an even harder toll on Hinata. He had to know what it was.
Watching as Naruto sharply exhaled, Sasuke knew that was all he was going to get from him. If he wanted the whole story, he was going to have to go to the only other person involved.
He felt a dull sensation ringing in his forehead as he brought his hand to rest upon it. Naruto was right, the situation really didn't get easier. All he had was more questions when he should've had the answer.
Some part of Sasuke had hoped he wouldn't have to confront Hinata about any of it, that he would just get the information he needed from Naruto and simply tell her he understood without feeling like he pulled too many teeth. But now he was seeing that the scenario he wanted to avoid the most was unavoidable.
If there was going to be anything there, Hyūga Hinata needed to speak her truth.
She already knew his. He grimaced then at that thought. It should've made things easier but somehow it made him feel even worse. What if what he heard wasn't what he wanted to at all? Sure, Sasuke was a man with a past but somehow with Hinata it felt like that didn't matter. She knew what he did and still stuck around. Would hearing hers suddenly make him feel differently? Sasuke wasn't exactly confident he knew the answer.
He didn't think of Hinata as this perfect untouchable woman anymore, but there was still this air of innocence to her that he felt drawn to. Was he ready for it to possibly disappear?
His frown grew even deeper.
Naruto suddenly rose from the couch with a tight expression. Sasuke got up as well, instantly knowing what came next.
He reached his hand forward in truce only to have Naruto pull him into a hug. He reciprocated despite the desire not to, letting the man get whatever sense of closure that he was so desperately searching for.
"Listen Sasuke, this time I mean it. I need time." He whispered, patting the Uchiha's back in-between syllables.
Sasuke only nodded in return and pulled away first. Walking away he paused just before opening the door.
"Thank you, Naruto."
He didn't wait for a response as he took his leave and let his best-friend feel whatever emotions he wanted to without his presence making it awkward.
As he walked home alone, his injured foot aching with every movement, Sasuke couldn't deny the sadness that followed with every step.
Naruto would come around soon. At least he hoped he would. He found that despite what he thought earlier he really did hope he'd stay in his life.
He really was selfish, he bitterly thought.
He followed the road home mindlessly as second nature kicked in. Though try as he might he couldn't get the sombre conversation out of his mind. As he passed the merchant street, he took note of the fact that only a few were open, looking up at the night sky he realized just how late it had gotten.
And then he felt it.
He paused in his footsteps as that familiar chakra consumed his presence like a wave. She was here. He turned to where he felt her chakra the strongest only to be met with the sight of the flower shop one of his old classmates ran.
The Yamanaka Flower Shop. He walked towards the store cautiously, his foot still beating in pain. Sasuke didn't want to get any closer than he was and be discovered. Despite his urges to go in and see her for himself his head was still spinning from what Naruto said. How could he be able to face her with those thoughts running in his mind?
The windows were brightly light and large enough so that Sasuke could see the familiar form of his teammate. There she was stopping and examining some tall sunflowers as that nosy blonde presumably chatted her ear off. Hinata had a wistful smile on her face as she pointed out some flowers that the Yamanaka carefully plucked and carried away to a section that was not visible through the windows.
Sasuke stood still as Hinata's gaze drifted away from the sunflowers and onto the street outside, he walked backwards just a little into the shadow of the building behind him, hoping that it hid him from her all-seeing eyes.
She paused for a bit as she continued to stare, a distant look in her eyes and then her head snapped back in surprise, presumably because her name was called. After that she disappeared to wherever her friend had gone.
Sasuke waited patiently until the shop's entrance swung open with Hinata holding a yellow bouquet safely in the crook of her arms as the Yamanaka waved her off. His eyes travelled with her as she walked down the street to wherever she was going. He fought the urge to follow her and instead, before he could think, heard the bell of the flower shop ring above him as he swiftly entered.
The Yamanaka regarded him with a bored expression but upon registering who it was quickly straightened up.
"Sasuke-kun." She said, completely surprised and practically racing towards him. "What brings you here?"
Sasuke stayed silent as he thought about his answer. He hadn't even meant to come in.
Blue eyes stared at him expectantly. Sasuke simply shrugged in reply as the blonde's eager expression quickly diminished. He remembered that Yamanaka Ino was nosy and careless with the information of others. He didn't want her to know anything that she didn't need to, the last thing he needed was information about him spread all around Konoha.
But still, he had wandered in here for a reason. Maybe Ino could help him out. Hinata did seem quite comfortable around her from what he'd seen from outside. Maybe she would have the answer he was desperately looking for. Though he himself didn't even know what it was.
He wondered if he could use that to his advantage.
"My teammate." He said, trying to keep it as vague as possible so she wouldn't get any ideas.
Furrowing a brow, Ino titled her head at his weird sentence but quickly brightened up upon realizing what he meant. "Oh Hinata? Yeah she was just here!"
"Ah." Sasuke muttered, looking around to peer at the many different flowers that assaulted his nose with their scent. He wondered then if he looked suspicious.
"You didn't see her walk out?" Ino asked, a little disbelief in her voice. When Sasuke brought his gaze to her face he could see that she was trying to hint at something deeper than she let on. It was then that he remembered Sakura saying she worked at the intelligence division.
"We have to meet Ibuki for a debriefing." Sasuke said. Though it wasn't a complete lie it wasn't exactly near the truth either. He kept his demeanour still as not to alert the kunoichi, though Sasuke was a very good liar he wasn't going to take the risk of letting her see even an inch of a giveaway. He wasn't exactly sure how good the woman could sniff out a lie.
As if running his sentence through a detector Ino's green eyes wandered around his face, searching. "Yeah I heard about that," She finally said, believing him. "You came to tell her? If so, you just missed her."
"Oh?" Sasuke played it nonchalant.
"Yeah, she was just in here buying flowers for Neji."
"Ah." He had figured as much but hearing Ino confirm it made him feel more uneasy about before. "She does that often?"
Ino raised a brow at his uncharacteristic question. "Maybe a few times a week, why?"
Sasuke nodded his head not bothering to properly answer. He wondered if Hinata's nightmares had gotten worse than when she was with Naruto. If she frequented the memorial that often she probably hadn't moved on at all. Even his old teacher Kakashi visited it less as the years went by. He did as well, already having come to terms with what his brother sacrificed- Sasuke was more so inclined to let the dead lie and not linger around like a forgotten soul. He wondered if that's how Hinata felt.
"You know." The blonde began, bending to fix a slightly crooked flower which Sasuke couldn't name. "I've never seen you like this before."
At that the ex-Avenger looked at her incredulously, "You've never seen me at all."
Ino smiled wistfully at his words. "I guess you're right." She said. "Are you going to be buying anything?"
Though he initially was going to give a curt 'no' Sasuke hesitated as the familiar yellow petals caught his eye.
Following his line of vision, Ino smiled like she knew his deepest secret. "Sunflowers, they represent loyalty and happiness."
He walked over towards the pot that housed the flowers, bending down to examine them all until he found one that he liked. It was a bit smaller than the rest but had a more vibrant colour to it. Delicately he pointed towards it. "How much?"
"No charge." Ino replied. "She'll love it."
The sly expression on her face told him that her mind was already made. Sasuke didn't bother telling her she had the wrong idea or that he planned to pay regardless, he never was one to accept things for free. He waited for her to ring him up, shifting his weight to his uninjured foot. Noticing his slight discomfort Ino walked over to him, handing him the flower and then motioning to his left foot.
"That bothering you?" She asked, crouching down and tilting her head in question.
Sasuke paused before answering, he could have her heal it, Shikamaru did say she taught him medical ninjutsu, and it would be a lot less irritating than having Sakura do it while giving him a lecture at the same time.
"I broke it."
"How?"
"When I was training." He lied. He didn't care if she believed him or not.
Ino pursed her lips, coming to her own conclusions which Sasuke paid no mind to. "Well I could have a look at it if you don't mind?"
"Hm." He affirmed. He watched as she carefully removed his sandals and then winced slightly as she applied pressure to his foot to determine the damage.
"Seems like your toes suffered some sort of blunt force trauma. They're likely broken." She raised a brow as she glanced up at him for an explanation.
Sasuke simply shrugged his shoulders. It wasn't any of her business anyway. Recalling something the Nara told him Sasuke simply repeated. "Yes, because I'm reckless."
An awkward smile found its way to the kunoichi's lips. "Shikamaru told you that huh?" Her brow twitched as she let out a humourless laugh. "I'll heal it for you." She ran her fingers now glowing green across the length of his foot.
Sasuke turned his head away to examine the greenery within the space. Somehow being in this position always felt patronizing to him. But she had already started, and he didn't want to walk home on a broken foot.
"You know," Ino began, absentmindedly watching the fluid flow of her chakra. "I've been meaning to talk to you."
Sasuke stared down at her then. What business would she possibly have with him? The kunoichi wasn't somebody he particularly hung around unless it was a gathering Naruto wouldn't let him get out of, which was far and few between. The Uchiha had done a good job of making himself unavailable.
"Well Sai-kun has been saying how he wanted to get to know you better, and I was just telling Sakura how the both of us need to catch up, so she suggested that we all go out to eat one day and well she was too embarrassed to ask you herself so I told her I didn't mind since we'll be seeing each other around the intelligence division anyway, but you're a hard person to find and so…"
Sasuke tuned her out as she continued rambling about things that he had no interest in. His mind focused on her first sentence instead. Sai? Out of everyone he became reacquainted with in the village Sai was the person he hated interacting with the most. As far as he was concerned Sai was somebody who should've found new friends the minute he came back to the village.
And yet he still lingered around like an annoying gnat, his old teammates encouraging him and giving him reason to stay.
Suddenly the Uchiha found himself very irritated. He hadn't thought about that socially awkward shinobi in a while. He forgot about him and what his presence meant for him in Team 7 because he was spending more time with his new team. Sasuke was curious if Naruto and Sakura had the same experience or if they just hung out as a trio without him. He frowned at that thought, the pit of his stomach feeling heavy.
The heat of healing chakra dispersed as Sasuke scrutinized the kunoichi in front of him. Since when did she speak for Sai anyway? He rolled his eyes, why did he even care?
"All done." Ino exclaimed, dusting her purple gear off as she stood.
Sasuke held the wrapped sunflower tighter in his hand as she leaned against the wooden counter behind her, a thin blonde brow raised in inquiry. He tested his foot out, shifting his weight from right to left.
Satisfied he nodded once in approval. "Thanks."
After a couple seconds of silence Ino clapped her hands together awkwardly. "So?"
Sasuke regarded her with an irritated expression. "No."
Reaching into his pants pocket he pulled out his wallet, grabbing a note. Swiftly he placed it on the counter before the blonde could protest and walked out of the store, the bell ringing with his exit.
Though he planned on confronting Hinata that same day, he could feel himself getting into a bad mood because of what Ino said. Scowling Sasuke headed home instead, the flower bearing the weight of his hand tightly enclosed around it.
Crossing the grounds through his compound Sasuke tried to calm himself down before he went inside, the last thing he needed was for Karin to feel his chakra and force him to explain why he was feeling the way he was. It wasn't like he had a good reason.
He was also sure he didn't want to have a reason.
When he felt that his aura was in check, he entered the house, the smell of rice cooking on the stove wafting into his nose. Walking towards the kitchen he found Karin absentmindedly humming to herself as she cut vegetables. Wordlessly Sasuke placed down the crumpled sunflower and washed his hands to join her.
"You don't have to help, really it's okay!" said Karin, glancing at him sheepishly as she shifted her red glasses up with an elbow.
"Hm."
He didn't move and ignored her protests, continuing to cut onions without as much as a single tear. It was a small perk that came from being a shinobi whose primary skill was dōjutsu, training meant his eyes were resilient to most normal eye inconveniences.
They continued, silently making dinner and he could feel himself really begin to calm down as the simplicity of the routine shifted his focus away from the heaviness he felt earlier.
Karin moved like a mad woman within the kitchen, jumping from one place to another with haste and precision. Sasuke, who was simply prepping the ingredients, was impressed as he watched her cook several things on the stove and then return to helping him cut vegetables with ease.
He himself wasn't much of a cook, only making simple things like eggs, rice, fried fish, or steamed vegetables whenever he was hungry. He didn't make complicated recipes for fear of having an upset stomach. Or burning down his kitchen.
Karin, who was stirring the steaming rice now, shifted her glasses up as she smiled absentmindedly to herself.
Sasuke who had finished his share of prep work and was simply leaning against the counter, regarded her with a weird expression as he realized how happy she looked doing something as simple as cooking rice.
She was always happy to take care of him, and though she wouldn't admit it, she also felt the same about the rest of Taka. He never really took in the fact that Karin was probably the one who would be the most affected by the group's disbandment. Maybe that's why she was so conflicted about her future.
"Karin."
She lifted her head at him with a surprised eyebrow raise, "Y-yes Sasuke?"
"What do you plan on doing when Taka ends?"
She paused then and looked at him with a quizzical look. Not that he blamed her, it was uncharacteristic of him to initiate conversations or ask other people about themselves. But still, he was curious. If there was any member he couldn't picture outside of Taka, it was her. He wondered how she would get by.
Her red brows knitted together as she thought for a moment. "I guess I'd like to become a medical researcher. I want to use my gifts to help people." She quickly turned away from him as her face became the same shade as her hair. "And maybe have a family of my own someday…"
"Ah." Sasuke simply replied. He could see her doing well in a job like that. And even if he would never tell her, he also thought she'd make a good mom someday. She was a kind woman.
"Why do you ask anyway?"
He shrugged, not willing to disclose the reason was because he was probably worried for her. Also, he really didn't want to admit it to himself either.
Karin smiled knowingly at him, and he realized he didn't have to say anything at all. She understood him regardless. She was almost like Sakura in that sense.
He stayed behind in the kitchen as she finished up dinner, not really having anything to do himself. She didn't seem to mind him though as she continued just as content as before.
"Sasuke what about you?" She suddenly said.
He noticed her struggling to reach for the plates he kept on the higher shelf of his kitchen cupboard and walked over to help her.
"What?" He asked, handing her the dishes as she smiled gratefully.
"Were you able to do any of your goals when you came back to Konoha?"
'No.' was the response Sasuke instantly heard in his head but he kept silent as she plated their dinner. When he made no move to answer she looked up from what she was doing to give him an expectant stare.
Sasuke paid her no mind as he grabbed two of the finished plates to bring to the dinner table, giving him a reason to leave the kitchen.
He didn't want her, or anyone else in Taka to know that he didn't achieve any of his other goals. That he spent most of his days cursing the same village he left them for, and his nights wondering if he was worthy of having anything at all.
That he wasn't even sure what he wanted anymore.
The most he had achieved so far in terms of his goals was joining ANBU. And that was only because he wanted the villagers and Kakashi to see he was a good Hokage candidate. It was a prideful plan on his part, and it ended up biting him in the ass.
In the end it was that same plan that placed him in the awkward position he was now, conflicted about his feelings, being targeted by ronin and, taken off of the active shinobi register.
Outside of whatever his 'thing' with Hinata was, not much else was happening for him. He figured that was why he felt the need to pursue her so heavily despite his earlier reluctance. In a way he could admit to himself that his pride was only preventing him from really moving forward. He was taking a different approach in being vulnerable this time. If he let his guard down maybe it could achieve at least one of his dreams with little resistance.
Maybe he wouldn't feel so stuck anymore and would actually feel happy.
As he placed the food down Sasuke felt like a light bulb went off in his head.
He quickly manoeuvred himself around the dining table as Karin exited the kitchen with more food.
"Where are you going? Dinner's done." She said as she watched his retreating back.
"Out." He replied. He swiftly made his way outside hoping that it wouldn't be too late to catch him.